Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

I've lost count of what number we were on, sorry.

Also there seems to be another BFP after MC thread running, but it has all different people on it so I didn't know if we should crash theirs or just have two running at once...

Rachel so sorry to hear about your loss. I have a very short (15mm) and scarred cervix as a result of damage during the delivery of my daughter and had an abdominal stitch placed at 11weeks this pregnancy which has amazingly held tight and am currently 33weeks. If you haven’t already I suggest joining the “incompetent cervix UK” support group on Facebook, lots of very knowledgeable women on there. I had scans of cervix every 2 weeks until 25 weeks, it’s amazing how long it can feel isn’t it. I’m now on routine scans every 4 weeks and find the wait long!

Miami I think it would be totally reasonable for you to take some time off now if you think it might help. You and little one are the important things now- do whatever you need to get through the next few weeks. FWIW at 33 weeks I still tend to not notice movements that much when I’m working and busy and I’m still stressed about the lack of clear pattern this baby has.

white congrats on a good scan.

I’m struggling at the moment- swollen legs, spd and exhausted. And feeling really guilty at feeling sorry for myself as I’m so lucky to have got to this point given everything.

Hi all, so elcs is booked for 2 weeks today. I can't actually believe I've made it this far and that i'm so close now. 38 weeks tomorrow. Kinda hoping baby stays put and i can have the elcs, tiny other part of me wants baby to come early and i try again for a vbac.

Anyway will see what happens i guess! I'm sure i'll post again, but incase i want to say thank you to all of you on this thread and that were also on the ttc one before. I literally couldn't have made it this far with out feeling like this was a safe place to come and vent or explain how i was feeling to those that actually understood and never once judged. I truly hope each and every one of you makes it through his rollercoaster of a journey and get your rainbow babies. You are a wonderful supportive bunch of people and so deserve happiness.

delilah no advice other than it will take a away the excitement and might do for a long time. take each day as it comes and come on here as much as you need for support.

miami so happy the scan was good. Hope you had a nice relaxing weekend.

labmum sometimes with names its best to drop it for a while and bring it up near the end...he may soften to your way of thinking once he's seen the pressure pregnancy puts on a woman! theres a name i really want and OH isn't so sure I'm thinking i'll get my way after baby is here!!

white super happy your scan was good and to measure ahead is always a bonus!

rachel so sorry for your loss, so glad you seem to being well looked after so it doesn't happen again.

para you shouldn't feel bad, if you're tired towards the end you can complain, its totally justified. I'm tired too, grateful yes of course, but that doesn't stop me from having 'sorry for me days'! Its really hard towards the end of pregnancy - it takes its toll on your body. I hope you get a chance for some rest. x

Can i join if i already have a kid? I've been TTC number 2 since April and have had a missed MC and another early MC at 6 weeks last week.

@Luxembourgmama I'm so sorry for your losses. We come with all different stories and all are welcome, however there is also this thread
TTC after recurrent miscarriage - thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3335444-ttc-after-recurrent-miscarriage-thread-3
Which is a support thread for those currently trying to conceive after recurrent loss. A lot of us on here are from that thread and they are lovely ladies with lots of knowledge around testing and treatments etc.

@NoCatsHere thank you. Means a lot xxx

lux i was on that TTC thread for a long time - i have two children already but it didn't make my want for my third after losses any less than people trying for their first. if you experience loss at any stage or even if you have a child already its still valid. Its a lovely supportive group.

@miami81 thanks a million

Freaking out again today. 17 weeks tomorrow and have midwife later. Really hoping she will do a doppler. I still don’t really have movements and I’ve convinced myself the baby is dead again.

bean I hope you are reassured later, my midwife wouldn't do the doppler at my 16 week appointment, she said it causes more worry if you can't find something. And to let you know I didn't feel anything until about the 20/21 week mark, and this is my third baby so i know what i need to look out for...and I'm quite slim so sometimes it depends on where your placenta is. Is there another milestone date you're trying to get past? When is your 20 week scan?

Bean I felt very little until 20ish weeks too, and this is baby 2. Felt baby 1 more frequently much earlier- the anterior placenta makes a huge difference. It can also make heartbeat harder to find I think so midwife might not want to look- mine wouldn’t at 16 weeks either.

Midwife here on Thursday. Given that my feet have ballooned I expect to be sent for more bloods etc.

@beanhunter I have this at every single appointment. I constantly live in fear of the hand on my arm and the 'I'm so sorry'. But also there is the hope.
17 weeks is great. My mw in my first pregnancy that got that far refused to do heartbeat at 16 weeks as it is policy. But due to my anxiety in this pregnancy my new mw did one for me at 16 weeks this time.
So always worth asking but be prepared for a knock back.
What would help you get through the next few weeks? I am not normally one to advocate private scans, but if you think it would help with how you are feeling I would def consider it.

@beanhunter - hope the appointment goes well and you are reassured. Big hugs, the anxiety around appointments is hideous.

@Nocatshere - that is so lovely, wishing you so much luck for the next couple of weeks!

So, at my scan I was dated a day ahead yesterday, so do I go by that date or by my LMP still? either way I am either 6w3d or 6w4d, and the tiredness and nausea has really ramped up in the past couple of days. I gagged on air this morning, coughed and gagged yesterday, smelled someone's coffee in the lift and gagged, and im sat at my desk now half asleep - I could quite easily nap at my desk.

As much as it's not very enjoyable it is reassuring so I'm not really complaining, though I would realllly love a little nap!

This is my 5th pregnancy but only 2nd to have got this far. With my daughter I felt nothing til well last 20 weeks.
Not sure what milestone will
Help. I’m 4 weeks past my latest mc but don’t feel safe at all. I think feeling movements will help reassure.
Thankfully persuaded midwife to do doppler and we found the hb. So that will reassure me for about a day! Next scan booked in 3 weeks.

Glad you heard the HB @Beanhunter

I'm on pregnancy 7, this is the third to make it past 6 weeks and only one of those resulted in a baby - so I 100% know how you feel.

With DS i only really relaxed once i felt movements etc Hopefully you will feel those first flutters soon x

@NoCatsHere eek the countdown is on! So excited for you!

Welcome to all the newcomers, I'm sorry you find yourselves among us but hope we can offer plenty of support.

@NoCatsHere so exciting you are so close now! Can't wait to read your update when baby arrives!

Hi, everyone I'm currently 9+2. Have a son already, this is my 6th pregnancy and my first since my son that has gone past 6 weeks. I've been too terrified to join. Been diagnosed with APS so on aspirin and Clexane.
Symptoms have been settling off this week so terrified of what's waiting for me this afternoon at my reassurance scan ☹️
I'm sorry for everybody's losses, we're all in this together

Welcome to all the new people. @RachelJoff so sorry for your loss. Do you know what caused your cervix issues? I’m having mine monitored as well as I had a LLETZ last year, currently at 22 weeks.

@samanthajonespr hope your scan went well yesterday.

@beanhunter I feel like the teen weeks are a weird time - first trimester symptoms gone but no bump/movement yet. That’s great that you heard the heartbeat at your appointment! I ended up going to maternity assessment a couple of times for them to listen with the Doppler as got freaked out by the movements being so sporadic to start with - they were really lovely and reassuring both times.

@NoCatsHere good luck over the next couple of weeks!

I was talking to a friend yesterday who is in the first trimester with her first pregnancy. Made me feel angry and resentful that she is so excited at 10 weeks and I am still anxious at 22... then felt guilty and sad to be feeling that way. Not the first time I’ve frlt like this. I need to get past these negative emotions somehow but it’s difficult!

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Bean congrats on hearing heartbeat! Samantha welcome, I hope your scan went well. Vuduvu I know what you mean about feeling resentful, just be kind to yourself and remember that it's not about being unhappy they are excited, just that you are grieving the loss of ability to have that same experience.

I ended up spending hours in hospital. BP is a little high and I have some protein in my urine so had serial blood pressures and bloods taken. Back next week for another check.

Thanks para. Feeling happier today - volunteered on an obstetric ultrasound course and it cheered me up to see her wriggling around.

Sorry to hear you had to spends ages in hospital. Fingers crossed for BP and protein not to be any worse next week x

Scan went really well, baby perfect for dates and looking healthy. Sonographer made me feel like a time waster and was rude about me having a scan before 12 weeks. I'm feeling really confident now that we're a quarter of the way through but there's still that niggling anxiety that makes it hard to live in the present

@samanthajonespr congratulations on a good scan. So glad you feel reassured.

@Paranormalbouquet hope you get the all clear!

How is everyone? Hope you're all having nice relaxed weekends!
Glad your scan went well @samantha. I can't believe with your history that the sonographer wasn't more understanding!
@vuduvu that sounds good to get a few extra scans!
@paranormal I hope it was just a blip and things have settled again this week. Did you have pre-eclampsia with your DD?

Nothing to report here, am currently 26+6. Haven't seen a midwife for a while, got a growth scan in 11 days time, have taken the day off so I can go for a wander round the Christmas markets afterwards. Been busy round the house trying to get some jobs ticked off. Baby seems to have either her head or her feet (I think feet/bum but not 100%) right up in my ribs already so that gets a bit uncomfortable sometimes and she gets the hiccups a LOT!

Can I join? Got a bfp on Friday, think that makes me 4 weeks. We had a miscarriage in January at 9 weeks and been ttc since then.

Like others I’m finding it really hard not to worry and just carry on. Really hope everything is ok this time, at 35 and 39 we are not getting any younger.

Fingers crossed for everyone on here!