Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

I've lost count of what number we were on, sorry.

Also there seems to be another BFP after MC thread running, but it has all different people on it so I didn't know if we should crash theirs or just have two running at once...

@Hidcat no advice I'm afraid but there is a lot of growing going on at the 11 week stage which may explain the sickness? I had similar.

@NoCatsHere what was the reason for your section last time? Was it a emergency under general or a less urgent emergency section where you were awake? Its a very personal decision and at the end of the day do what you feel is best for you and baby. So many medical professionals push for VBAC nowadays it seems so if its not something your comfortable with just dig your heels in and don't let them pressure you.

Hi ladies. As you're aware I've had a miscarriage start of the month. Had Cm cramping pains at 8dpo and been sick this morning. If I post a pic of my Cm today after I've been sick today can someone advise me, I've had this before with last pregnancy but unsure. It's nothing too TMI haha x

labmum thanks, i had an emcs for my first (it was not under general i was awake and didn't feel panicked), then a vbac for my second baby...unfortunately it wasn't a smooth birth with him ending up in special care for 10 days. It's not really birth i'm worried about, i know what a csection feels like and i've done a natural birth too....its more the memory of what went wrong during the vbac that is troubling me. Its the outcome, especially after these two mc, I feel very lucky to be having a third baby, sometimes i feel i'm pushing my luck you know? I know the chance of that happening again must be so very tiny, but it's hard to let go of that trauma isn't it?

NoCats it might be worth asking for an appointment to discuss your options in detail with either consultant or a specialist midwife? You can go through what went wrong last time and the chances of it happening again before coming to a decision.

I’m sitting waiting for my appointment. I think they are at least an hour behind so Expecting to be here a while longer! Sitting beside some very loud couple who I really hope are called in ASAP!!

@hidcat [hand squeeze] while I’m a few weeks behind you I know exactly what you mean. The chances are everything is going to be fine and you have just got to take each day as it comes (or each minute as it comes). We are all here cheering you on and hoping for your little bean.

Also take a look at this thread- some lovely positive thoughts to help you take your mind off things www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3277012-Staying-Sane-Positivity-during-TTC-journey

Thanks everyone, Im looking forward to getting to the end of this week...

HidCat the first trimester after miscarriage is really really rough. And the second it seems! Be kind to yourself and I think you just have to accept that you will be anxious.

I finally got seen (2.5 hours later!). Good news generally. Stitch is holding and fetal fibronectan is very low suggesting I’m unlikely to spontaneously labour before 32 weeks. 80% placenta praevia but was 100% 3 weeks ago so looks to be moving (hopeful) and baby looks fine.

Next appt with midwife 25 weeks and growth scan at 28.

@Paranormalbouquet glad it's positive news for you today. Fingers crossed that placenta keeps shifting.

Glad things are looking up for you para. Time never passes slower than in hospital!

For those of you further along, do things ever speed up pregnancy wise? Does it feel less stressful when you get past the point your previous mc(s) happened?

I’m 11 weeks Friday hid, been v lucky with no proper nausea but after about a week of pretty much no feelings in my belly I’ve had a heaviness and not quite crampiness in there for a few days. Generally my anxiety levels are lower than they were as I just couldn’t sustain it and I’ve been too tired to invest as much brain energy freaking out. But pre scan I always feel paralysed and I’d love to think there’ll be a time when it’s not quite as panicky. I’m probably being naive

@NoCatsHere haha!! The early saddle is already kicking in with me at 23 weeks! 🙈

@HidCat sorry to hear you’re having a tough time. I felt so anxious constantly until about 20 weeks and even at 23 weeks I still haven’t announced the news to anyone unless they’ve seen me (kind of hard to hide it now as I’m so huge!) I think it’s totally normal to feel anxious after miscarriage. All you can do is take each day as it comes and look after yourself and that growing bump 💙

I was expecting to be anxious the entire way through but after I got to 24 weeks a weird zen like calmness engulfed me. I've spent the last two months living in one room with stressful building works going on around me and my boyfriend has been really surprised at his calm I've been. I'm now 38+3 and still feeling relatively calm although I'm pretty nervous and tearful about birth now. After the first 18 weeks of heavy bleeding, I've been really fortunate to have a very straightforward fairly uneventful pregnancy which has obviously helped.

Moral of my story, the anxiety of the first and second trimester may not follow you into the third. It's hard to believe especially at the beginning.

Kirin I’m really glad to hear it got easier for you. I’m definitely more relaxed after a good fetal fibronectin yesterday. I think it probably was the trial you were in- it’s a high vagina swab. They take the results and combine with cervical length and obs history to give you a %likelihood of delivery at various gestations. Under 50 is low risk and mine was 6 so I’m very happy with that!

Due date for miscarriage 3 is fast approaching although given that it’s only after that loss we discovered just how badly damaged my cervix I’m quite sure I’d have had a second trimester loss instead of the pregnancy had continued (my consultant says the small amount of cervix below my stitch looks entirely non functional due to scarring). So I’m trying to see it all as the journey to the baby I’m meant to have.

I’m delighted you’ve got to term, you’ll be meeting your baby very soon.

anne I don't think things have sped up as such but after passing mc milestone set I felt better, and then again after both the 12 week then 20 week scan. Once I passed 24 weeks I really do feel relaxed about pregnancy . I'm stressed about birth, but that's much more a personal thing because of my history, I'm actually enjoying being pregnant now. All the little kicks etc are reassuring and make me feel so lucky. Its not smooth sailing anxiety wise, but I do think you relax a bit the further along you get.

Thanks para yes I've got another birth choices appointment to discuss my previous birth in more detail as I feel very vague as to what actually happened and went wrong. I'm hoping by having that cleared up I'll be able to make a clear decision. I'm leaning to elcs just to purely be a bit in control, but it's hard, I did sort of weirdly enjoy labour etc And want so much for a straightforward birth but I know that's impossible to promise!

I enjoyed labour too NoCats. Until it all fell apart while pushing and ended up with a crash section. Even if I hadn’t needed the cervical stitch I think I would have opted for elective section anyway, as you say to be in control. Mainly to avoid another emergency section. But there’s obviously no right or wrong and it’s worth discussing your options in detail and working out the likelihood of things going to plan.

Anne I relaxed a bit after the first trimester. Obviously my second trimester worries have continued but they are really because I know I’m at high risk of a second trimester labour so it’s hard to put that out of my mind. I have been very well cared for this time though which is helping.

@kirinm You've had a difficult early pregnancy, so pleased it's all going well for you now though.

We're so lucky to have such amazing doctors to help through all the different problems. @Paranormalbouquet I'm keeping everything crossed that you get to the third trimester and all is well with lo.

Yes TBH I actually feel like I've bonded with him quicker than with DS1. However I am less clingy with him in a way, I suppose because we had time apart already.

Did we make a postnatal thread BTW? If not could someone start one? I'm stuck with only a phone.

Yes bertie I think there’s enough babies for you to make a postnatal thread now!
I think I bonded with ds2 quicker than 1 despite our time apart, I think that’s because you know what they’ll become if that makes sense? Like how your love just grows and grows for them? So for me loving no2 was instant whereas with no1 it was a slow burner while I got over the shock of adjusting to this new life!!

Hating my anterior placenta today, just want a nice pattern of movements! SPD is really kicking in too, I’ve had a day of mostly sitting and now can barely walk. Looking forward to the bank holiday and a rest!

Not entirely sure how to word this but our little girl was born on the 22nd August via EMCS at 32 weeks exactly, as there was a small bleed behind the sac, so no one would've picked it up. She's in the special unit but seems to be okay given everything ❤

Congratulations @unicornsandrainbows1

Glad to hear she’s doing ok. Hope everything goes smoothly from here and she grows quickly and doesn’t have to stay in SCBU too long.

Congratulations @Unicorns, glad she's here safe and sound. Sure she'll go from strength to strength and you'll be taking her home in no time! Does she have a name yet?

Unicorns congratulations!! Glad she’s safely here, sorry you’ll have a SCBU stay but I’m sure she’ll do very well. I hope you are recovering well.

OMG @unicornsandrainbows1 congratulations! wow what are whirlwind but great she is doing well. How are you?

@UnicornsandRainbows1 OMG congratulations! I'm glad she's doing well, she must be so tiny and precious. Hope you're feeling ok. xxx

Can I tentatively join? I'm 5+1 today and scared to death it'll go wrong again! So desperate for it to be ok. Early scan on 19th sept.

Congratulations @UnicornsandRainbows1 and @BertieBotts xxx