Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

Sorry, crossposted paranormal. I'm sorry you're having a tough day - anniversaries can be so, so hard. Glad that it sounds like DH is taking care of you - make sure you look after yourself, too, and have a really easy day if that's what you need.

I know it is nothing compared to what some others are going through, but I am so so scared about my 12 week scan tomorrow. I have heart palpitations just thinking about it...... I just don’t think I could go through this again if it’s bad news.

Keeping everything crossed for you for tomorrow @Anxiousfeelings.

I have no advice i just go in expecting the worst and anything better than that is good news. Im a bit of a planner so i go through what will happen under the worst circumstances then remind myself i can cope with that. Probably not helpful at all sorry.

@Anxiousfeelings I’m the same about every scan. It’s normal after what we’ve been through I think. I hope it all goes well.

I know it's such a horrible feeling anxious - I don't think anything makes you feel better until you've actually had the scan, so will just hope that the time until then passes quickly for you and that you get good and reassuring news. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Thank you so much for reassurance :) It is true that people who haven’t been through it don’t seem to really get it!
@dboo that is actually really helpful advice, I like your logical approach

That's great if it helps @Anxiousfeelings as i say reminding myself i can cope keeps me at it.

Saying that ive not even told anyone im pregnant apart from dp. Im only 5+6 or 6 wks but i just cant face people asking me things all the time like do you feel sick etc. I know generally its too early to tell anyone anyway but in all previous pregnancies ive told my dm the day i did the test. Im hoping i can keep it quiet until after screening if i get that far.

More frigging bleeding!! Bright red spotting, only when I wipe but with small ‘stringy’ bits in it. Almost like tiny clots.

Hoping it’s just my cervical ectropion. Don’t want to bother EPAU with it. Will see what it’s likeover the next couple of days.

I have a few more instances of spotting too, sometimes watery and sometimes stringy with cm. But I am telling myself I'm not cramping and it's not heavy so just to relax. If I'm going to mc then there's nothing anyone can do really. Dating scan is next Thursday, I'll wait until then unless it gets worse.

I think I've found a zen-like place where I'm actually feeling relaxed. Like seeing blood every week is making it normal or something.

@SoozC I’ve had the same, bleeding every few days and getting fairly sanguine about it. It stopped for a few days but then I had surgery on my cervix and of course it’s started again. I’m pretty anxious about the next scan; mainly given the recent general anaesthetic and surgery, and all the medication afterwards.

@LisaSimpsonsbff "I think I got lulled into a false sense of security because I found weeks 20-28 - so after my anomaly scan, and before they started finding stuff that meant extra monitoring - so much easier,"

Same here, I was so relaxed & happy weeks 12-28, whole of 2nd trimester really, and I feel even more silly stressing because I'm not required to have any extra monitoring (yet / that I know of - got ages till next MW check) but literally the day I turned 28 weeks the anxiety ramped up. The not being able to physically exert myself as normal has really freaked me out. Thankfully my breathing is now back to normal but it was very scary. And I'm slow, can't bend over, can't put my own shoes on! And I'm not even 30w yet. I think my mental health has not been great in recent days, I can't think straight and am very emotional. I've had to step back from work a bit just to cope.

Sorry to moan - I realise the baby and my health and my family are the most important and I'm trying to calm down a bit and put less pressure on myself in various ways (macho work environment isn't helping... )

Hugs to you all, I hope all the spotting stops x

Sorry to hear of all the hard times u are all going through.

X

I had my 12 week scan today and all looks good, measuring 13 wks. The relief......

That's great news @Anxiousfeelings really happy for you!

Fantastic news anxiousfeelings - congratulations!

Congratulations anxious! Fantastic news. And measuring ahead is great. One less anxious week ahead!

Congrats, Anxious!

I've had a couple of days where I've felt pretty damn good. I had few symptoms anyway, do you think at 10+3 it's totally possible to feel perfectly normal? That said, still have slight backache and sore legs but nothing major. Should I be worried?!

@SoozC symptoms often abate around the end of the first trimester as placenta takes over. I seem symptom free again although I'm not sure if thats because I'm distracted by symptoms of surgery. I have backache now too but am worrying thats due to cervical spasms after the stitch. When is your next scan?

Congratulations anxious! I hope the relief and reassurance lasts as long as possible!

Congratulations @anxious

& thanks @Paranormalbouquet hope you’re healing up okay.

Sorry I dropped off thread as 2 days ago I had long stringy discharge with flecks of blood then cramps & felt like cervix opening for 2 hours.
Just had a scan & im a week earlier than thought which ties in with ovulation actually.
There was a heartbeat, looked good & songraphers were happy.

Got 6 weeks until dating scan now & booking in a week Friday.

I still feel a bit numb & this isn’t real. Forgot how tiny everything is at 6 weeks.

Hope everyone else is okay.

Lovely news @doleritedinosaur!

Im 6+1 or 2. Not really having sickness yet and spending mosy of my time trying not to worry. I guess i have a wave of nausea now and again but not really anything notable.

I keep thinking back to past pregnancies to compare but cant remember timings anyway so not sure if normal for me or not. Ive never actually been sick when pregnant but had a fair bit of nausea and food aversions.

Congratulations doleritedinosaur! Seeing a heartbeat at 6 weeks is great. DBoo in all my pregnancies whether successful or miscarried I’ve had variable symptoms. In fact my only successful one had minimal symptoms and my MMC I was sick non-stop. I’ve tried to take my own advice re symptoms (and intermittently it’s worked!). I think anxiety is something we all deal with in pregnancy after loss and I’m just coming to accept it now.

My own anxiety is building re scan tomorrow now. Really hoping there’s still a live baby in there after all this. Also terrified that scanning over a wound will hurt. And wondering what they’ll even be able to see under my thick dressing and very bloated stomach (looking around 7 months pregnant right now).

Could you request an internal scan @Paranormalbouquet sounds more practical. Hope you're feeling a little better.

I know i'm being daft that's the annoying thing. I don't remember my symptoms h being particularly bad last time and dont get me wrong, i don't feel normal if u get me. I really dont know why we waste time worrying theres nothing i can do is there. I get so frustrated at myself haha.

I was thinking that but I actually have 2 cerclages- one placed abdominally, one placed vaginally. To avoid infection probably best to avoid internal scans.

Oh I’ve been daft from the beginning, I’m accepting it’s my new normal!

Yes probably best not to take any risks in that respect. Really hoping everything is good tomorriw at the scan for you @Paranormalbouquet are you there morning or afternoon? How are you feeling now after the op?