Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

I know zaa felt she never had a consistent pattern of movement, some babies are like that. Mine is very consistent all bloody day (not really complaining) but if you don't have consistency, that can be when the specific planned counts can be useful, because it gives you a benchmark and something to count. I think mine has settled into a position now because I'm getting all kicks in the same places consistently for the last week or two, whereas before that they were all over, and some days would be really big and easy to notice whereas other days would be much more subtle (though still there). I think that was when he was moving around and facing different ways. I'm 90% sure though that his back is all down my right side with head down.

Thanks Bertie. I think mine is still switching positions a bit from side to side although I'm sure he's still head down. Mostly I get the odd random kick every so often during the day when I'm sitting down ie not moving around. Then early morning he's very active when I wake up and usually again when I go to bed. If I wake in middle of night I'll generally get a couple of kicks.

There you go then - if you have two standard periods of movement you can count on in a day then those are the ones you want to keep an eye out for :) I certainly don't notice as much movement on the days I'm busy, stressed or moving around a lot whereas if I'm sat still or not doing much, it all comes up then.

Exactly so that's why I was stressing last night, no usual bedtime movements, but they came later around 1am

Movements with my little mouse were never consistent. Think I got checked 4 times all together, it was usually due to a change in position, if he'd turned to face my back i felt him far less.

Also I can remember being hooked up to the monitor, midwife adjusting the belts, seeing my stomach move but not feeling it, she must have thought I was crazy!

If you're feeling less movement they'd always rather see you, strapping you to a monitor and leaving you for 40 - 60 minutes is an easy job for them.

Great news on your scan unicorns!

And I'm really pleased your op went smoothly paranormal.

Another one who spends too much time worrying about movements here. Baby seems to have a pattern of having a couple of very busy, active days followed by a quieter one. Yesterday was a quieter one and it probably didn't help that I was occupied at my sister-in-laws wedding all day so didn't notice any more subtle ones. They've certainly made up for it today spending a lot of the 5 hour car journey home bouncing about on my bladder!

Ah, just come on to catch up and see a discussion about movement - very timely for me because I'm exhausted today after going to hospital to be monitored for reduced movement at midnight last night...! All fine, though the midwife measured me and it's looking even worse for growth - though my fundal height measurements are just all over the place, so I'm pretty suspicious of them all round. But CTG came back great. Mine has very definite times that he's a lot more active and he missed yesterday's so we decided to go in. Was the second time and I do feel like a bit of time waster but both times they've been lovely and completely insistent that it was the right thing to do.

Counting down days to my growth scan next week as starting to get more and more worried about it.

Glad to hear all is well with baby Lisa and that they were nice about going in. Hopefully the growth scan will show what's actually happening with that - the fundal height thing is so inaccurate.

I've just landed in uk and baby been nice and active all flight 👍🏼

Sorry im rubbish at remembering where people are at. How far along are you @LisaSimpsonsbff and are measurements bigger or smaller than should be?

You did thw right thing getting checked and im sure the midwives dont feel like you are wasting their time. Glad everything was ok.

I'm 33+5 and measuring small - at the last scan (31 weeks) dead on 10th centile. Previously my bump had actually been measuring fine, but now that seems to be dropping down below the line too. I'm just really scared that scan will show he's dropped down the centiles as they said that would be a pretty serious situation.

Its hard not to worry isnt it? He may just be small in height though everyone always says its hard to get accurate measurements via scans.

I know it's not ideal but at your stage you are at a good point where if there was an issue and it is safer for him to be here than inside im sure that could be done and all be well. Hopefully you will get more information at your next scan and with any luck things have caught up a little.

I've just rung the midwife and left a message asking them to call back. I just have this unshakeable feeling that something is wrong, and although I'm probably being silly and irrational, I think I need someone to explain some of it to me a bit further. I wasn't going to, but DH - who is the sort of person who never, ever likes to make a fuss and who would let you stand on his foot rather than trouble you to move - said this morning that he thought I should press to go get checked out again; he said that I've been anxious the whole way through but it's not normally like this and he's worried that my body is trying to tell me something. Everything - and particularly his movement - just feels off somehow.

Follow your instinct lisa, I was encouraged a couple of times to have an induction at 39 weeks with my little mouse if he'd turned head down, which he did a couple times. I was convinced that something would go horribly wrong if that happened, but with nothing to base that feeling on.

Post section they told me he'd had a true knot in his cord, and was lucky we'd had an elective Cs. Every contraction in labour would have pulled that knot tighter, the possible outcome doesn't bare thinking about.
Community midwives I've spoken with since being home have all remarked how lucky I was.

I agree with everyone Lisa. At this point if baby isn’t growing it’s very likely everything will be fine with an early delivery. Don’t ever feel you can’t seek help.

I’ve had some bleeding. Which obviously is not surprising having had cervical surgery but it’s always horrible to see. Next scan is Friday, hoping all is ok and we can do it without hurting me too much!

Trust your instincts @LisaSimpsonsbff. Can you go in for monitoring again ig his movements are still causing concern and explain your worries whilst there?

@para the bleeding must be a fright nut hopefully from the surgery. Are you home now?

Got home over the weekend. Pottering about, at a snails pace. I expected some bleeding but it still scares me every time. As do the cramps which I know will be a combination of cervical irritation and bowels getting moving again. I think I’ve just accepted that I’m going to be super anxious no matter what!

Thats a good stance to take @Paranormalbouquet hopefully time will pass quickly between now and friday and everything will be well at scan. Sounds like the pains are to be expected with the sugery you had but must be very difficult to keep your mind rational.

Thanks for all the supportive comments. I ended up going in again and CTG was again absolutely fine, but they want me to go in for monitoring on Wednesday and Saturday just in case. Keep going between being really anxious something is really wrong and then feeling like I'm being ridiculous/attention-seeking and making up a problem where there is none. I've been really tearful and erratic all day, and again can't tell whether it's normal pregnancy hormones or a sign I'm starting to lose the plot a bit.

Either way @LisaSimpsonsbff they obviously are taking you serioualy inviting you back in so hopefully that will give you the peace of mind you need. I think we would all be feeling similar in your situation. Hopefully you will get some reassurance from the monitoring.

@LisaSimpsonsbff don’t ever feel ridiculous, if it doesn’t feel right always call. They would rather you go in over nothing than stay at home getting worked up & stressed which isn’t good for either of you.

Are you having another growth scan? The baby might just be small as someone said above. My DS1 was 2nd centile & he soon got up to 50th.

Also scans depending on machine & songrapher are only 70% accurate.

@Paranormalbouquet hope the bleeding stops for you soon & scan goes well Friday.

Sickness has hit here, I have to eat/drink constantly to keep it at bay. I also told another friend who was so happy & I miss that joy of innocence that my pregnancies used to have but I’m passed my point of previous miscarriages, just 6 weeks until scan now really.

Hi @LisaSimpsonsbff - just wanted to say I'm thinking of you. At the same stage DD was measuring ahead and I was convinced the placenta was going to fail due to GD or something else awful would happen. The home strait is a weird time and everyone IRL expects you to be fine because you are past the mc stage. I found it impossible to relax or be reassured as the thought of the worst happening was always there and you are constantly aware of movement or lack of it. I hope the growth scans are positive and you can keep on taking it one day at a time.

@LisaSimpsonsbff I’m glad the team are taking you seriously. Never feel bad about being seen or sharing concerns. The last few weeks are really hard, especially when you’ve had difficulties.

I’m having a melancholy day. Didn’t get much sleep due to be uncomfortable and having cramps (although took no pain relief before bed which might have been the problem). My first day at home alone after surgery and I’m a bit anxious for some reason!

And it’s the due date of miscarriage #2. DH remembered this morning and was very sweet. It’s really heightened my anxiety about scan on Friday.

@doleritedinosaur congratulations on making it past point of previous miscarriages. It’s a milestone!

Thanks all - and lovely to hear from you, msjuniper. I hope you and DD are both doing well - how has DS taken to her?

I think I got lulled into a false sense of security because I found weeks 20-28 - so after my anomaly scan, and before they started finding stuff that meant extra monitoring - so much easier, so I think I thought it was all downhill now in terms of anxiety. So it's been a bit tough to have it ratchet right up again, and I sometimes wonder if I'm going a bit nuts and a bit Munchausen-y. I'm back to counting down the days to this growth scan and a week feels so long!

@lisasimpson you are never wasting anyone’s time. Hope you are feeling a bit better today.

@paranormal thinking of you, im sure it’s just part of the recovery to feel down and that coupled with the significant date makes it harder. Take care of yourself 🌸