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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

993 replies

BertieBotts · 14/04/2018 12:14

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

OP posts:
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13
UnicornsandRainbows1 · 02/06/2018 17:48

I also just kept taking vitamins as I wanted the best shot of having a healthy pregnancy, if that happened. Figured even if it would take a while at least it might help my body recover a bit better from the surgery and whatnot. Still taking them, just not every day.

I've also been taking 75mg of aspirin with this pregnancy. I have no blood clotting issue but I'd rather try all I can to keep them safe. It's probably a coincidence that this one is working and we just were so unlucky, but I'll take whatever positive I can right now.

Wellthisunexpected · 02/06/2018 18:10

anxiousfeelings some people say things trying to be nice, some people are just arses. One friend (and I now use that term loosely) said "well it's not like you wanted it" just because it was unplanned! The best response I got was "I'm so sorry for you, losing a baby is one of the most heartbreaking things in the world, planned or not" which was obviously from someone who has lost a pregnancy!

Anxiousfeelings · 02/06/2018 18:13

@wellthisisunexpected yes agreed! That is an awful thing to say. What I have disliked is the advice about waiting, one friend said ‘you should now take at least 6 months off’ even though I had not asked for advice!

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 02/06/2018 19:05

@Anxiousfeelings I had a glorious line of 'well it's probably because it was so close to your last one so you weren't ready' from my sister. Same sister also said 'well at least we can be the childless ones there together' (it was a family gathering and I was pretty apprehensive about meeting the new baby in the family. I had mentioned this about 5 minutes beforehand).

My other sister recently has offered nothing but support and said how horrible it must have been during last year. How they're from the same parents I dont know. Neither have had mcs, but one has a child so maybe that's why she's more sympathetic, who knows... Hmm

Gratefulninja · 02/06/2018 19:11

People do seem to have a lack of understanding and don’t seem to know what to say so say something awful... I started a thread about it the other day just to have a rant and other posters added some stuff ranging from eye rollingly irritating to just plain mean!

Anyway thank you ladies and sorry for derailing your thread! You’ve all made me a lot more hopeful :-) we conceived after two months so hopefully it happens quickly again and we get a sticky little baby :-)

Best wishes to you all xxxxx

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 02/06/2018 19:18

@Gratefulninja You haven't derailed it Smile But go to that TTC after MC thread for sure, even if you dip and and out. Hopefully you'll pop back over here at some point in better circumstances. Take everything day by day, even if you've had a particularly bad few days, take your time to process it. And most importantly look after yourself!

Gratefulninja · 02/06/2018 19:20

I just have :-) thank you for the link and yes I hope to join you all on here soon :-) 💐

Anxiousfeelings · 02/06/2018 19:49

@gratefulninja good luck and look after yourself 💐

hayleyfx · 02/06/2018 19:54

@Gratefulninja I’m so sorry for your loss! Hope you get your BFP soon 😊

Wellthisunexpected · 02/06/2018 21:04

Very crampy today. Hard not to fear the worst!

DBoo · 02/06/2018 21:38

How far along are you @Wellthisunexpected? You do tend to be very xrampy in earlh pregnancy. Almost like your period is on the way. So confusing.

I remember the motto on here previous times around is 'today i am pregnant'

Wellthisunexpected · 02/06/2018 21:46

@DBoo 5 weeks today. I remember being a bit crampy with DS, but don't remember them being quite so strong but it was 3 year ago!

It's not painful, like very light period cramping, just a bit unpleasant.

DBoo · 02/06/2018 22:01

Sounds pretty normal to me! Sure its everything just settling in and stretching. Try not to worry.

Original poster
BertieBotts · 02/06/2018 22:08

Grateful I conceived very quickly after MC#1 - just three months later. The second time it wasn't so quick but we later found out the reason for this and I DID eventually get pregnant again with a sticky one even though it took a long time!

I am 28 weeks now which feels like a great milestone and we are almost 100% ready for baby. I just need to order the car seat, but I've decided which one and where from, and then we're all ready.

OP posts:
Iswallowtoothpaste · 02/06/2018 22:10

I had mild to moderate cramping since before my period was due up to around 7 and a bit weeks and then they’ve been less frequent over the last week or so, still getting them every now and again though. Made me unnerved too.

Wellthisunexpected · 02/06/2018 22:21

Thanks, it's reassuring.

I too was very fortunate to fall pregnant after my mc - second cycle, first trying.

TheGrumpySquirrel · 03/06/2018 01:47

Haven't been able to sleep as baby been quiet (usually goes crazy as soon as I lie down) but he has just woken up and started playing the drums with my insides, phew! I'm only a week into the third trimester but I'm the most anxious I've been all of this pregnancy Sad I'm terrified I will deliver even more prematurely than my DD (35+5) or I won't notice reduced movements in time and have a still birth. I was so enjoying the second trimester! Argh. Does anyone have any reassuring statistics or anything. I'll be 29w on Monday. Literally counting down to 37w now, praying he comes then. My health anxiety is so bad now.

Flatwhite32 · 03/06/2018 08:05

I won't notice reduced movements in time and have a still birth

@TheGrumpySquirrel my anxiety about this is awful at times. I've cried twice worrying about it. I've got my 34 week midwife appointment next week, and I'm going to mention my worries then. I'm also worried she'll think I'm being stupid Sad.

TheGrumpySquirrel · 03/06/2018 08:14

@Flatwhite32 I know the kicks count campaign is there for a reason but I literally never thought about it with my dd. I know the probability is all will be fine but it's hard not to stress when some days he's very active with strong kicks then some days like yesterday there are only a few soft moves now and then, until 1am/2am last night

DBoo · 03/06/2018 08:21

With your worries @TheGrumpySquirrel i would probably just pop in for monitoring. From what ive heard they would rather see you than not.

I know i will be the same if im fortunate enough to get to that point

TheGrumpySquirrel · 03/06/2018 08:48

Well I'm flying home from holiday today so no chance to go to a local hospital before that unless I miss my flight. Get back to uk at 8pm. He's been very active overnight and this morning so feel ok again. It's just so variable.

Original poster
BertieBotts · 03/06/2018 08:48

Yes. Monitoring is the right thing to do. However if your baby's pattern includes quiet days perhaps it's normal for him?

OP posts:
DBoo · 03/06/2018 09:00

See how you go. He might have just been having a quiet day but if you are concerned at all pop in and be monitored for peace of mind. Not sure what count the kicks stance is nowadays but it is more about if pattern changes than how many kicks you have felt. As you say not a lot you can do today and sounds like he is nice and active now just something to keep in mind in future if you are worried.

Paranormalbouquet · 03/06/2018 10:01

@TheGrumpySquirrel with DD she never really got into a pattern of movement. She moved a lot but never had specific times she was more active- possibly because I worked long hours at the time so was always moving myself! Don’t be afraid to go get checked out though, I did a few times and was never made to feel silly.

I’m super nauseous today. Suspect it’s a mix of antibiotics (bleh), pregnancy, pain from surgery and constipation after surgery! Had a good rest overnight and feel a bit brighter. No painkillers needed yet today. I’m probably being silly trying to restrict them but feel bad I’m taking any at all with baby in there (even though I logically know they are safe).

DD has been really good and gentle with me. As she’s only 4 I’m really impressed with her. Given how high risk I am we think we will hold off until 20weeks to tell her.

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 03/06/2018 10:20

Definitely get checked out tomorrow if you can, they'd much rather you go in with everything still okay than anything else. You'd certainly wouldn't be wasting anyone's time, and even if they thought so, fuck it, they're your baby and their health is the most important thing. Hopefully you're more at ease now that there's been some stronger movement.

I don't really have statistics. Actually it may not be helpful to share this, I'm not sure, but when my mum was having me I was growing way too slowly and was measuring 9 weeks at the dating scan; 16 or so weeks at the anatomy scan (I had some fetal growth thing. Can't remember the name now). Anyway when I was measuring around 23/24 weeks when my mum had reduced movements with me, went to get checked out and she pushed and refused to leave as she felt something was wrong and they were kind of shrugging it off due to how early a stage we went at (she sadly had a stillborn the year before so that might be been why she was so stubborn).

Anyway after refusing to leave until she was seen, she had an e-c section later that night and I wasn't given the best prognosis - far from it. Obviously I'm still here so I made it Wink

Never think you're wasting anyone's time. Ever. If you feel you need to go there, go, no matter how many times you've been before

I also need to say that it's not supposed to freak people out - just show that you know your babies better than anyone and if something feels slightly off for longer than usual than everyone else needs to take a backseat

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