Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

I don't even expect them to look it up before I come in, just be honest and say you don't know if you don't, don't make it up! I had a GP tell me that I couldn't have miscarried if I was still getting positive tests

@toothpaste that’s awful. I hope you get someone more sympathetic and clued up. I agree mental health is very important in these circumstances and to try and separate the physical and mental impact is false. When I was 12 weeks with DD I had a bleed but I was abroad at the time and phoned the local hospital to be told, ‘it sounds like you’ll miscarry soon, there is nothing we can do’. I then had a miserable few days while the bleeding stopped. I didn’t miscarry and I don’t know what caused it. DD was perfectly fine.

I’ve just been to GP to have a swab to get unusual discharge checked out. Now I’m really nervous again, had the same for both MMCs ......

Your GP is the worst Iswallowtoothpaste I'm so sorry, hope the midwife is better

@Anxiousfeelings, I hope everything is ok and that they’re keeping a close eye on you!

I was dead against a private scan but after today I’m actually considering it.

@Iswallowtoothpaste that is really shit. I'm so sorry you're getting this treatment.
I would get a private scan if you can.
A & E would surely take you seriously.
It's so easy for those who are not going through it to not understand your torment and worry.

@Iswallowtoothpaste that's awful. I promise you not all GPs are like that. Mine was wonderful when I had bleeding. Put in a complaint, as that's really not on. Is there another GP you can speak to? Definitely ring the midwife too.

I had an 8 week scan yesterday and saw a heart thumping away. It was very hard not to expect bad news after a stillbirth at 37 weeks and a miscarriage at 14 weeks but fingers crossed this is it this time. I am lucky to have a 3 year old daughter at home from my first pregnancy so clinging on to the idea that I can produce kids! Best of luck everyone. X

Sorry to hear about your losses but yay to a strong heartbeat yesterday @hoppyfarmer
Here’s hoping all is ok with this pregnancy!

@hoppyfarmer congratulations and welcome. I hope all goes well this time for you. Can't imagine what you've been through. Xx

@toothpaste how are things today? I am still very worried, GP took tests and will see but it just feels wrong. Perhaps it is just thrush though.....

@hoppyfarmer welcome and so sorry about your losses. Very best of luck for this one!

@hoppyfarmer so pleased the scan went well! So sorry for your losses, must’ve been devastating x

Well I managed to get through to the local EPAU. Lady on the phone was shocked when I told her what the doctor had said. - she said that the left hand side pain alone was enough cause for concern, let alone the bleeding. She’s said that she’ll be able to get me a scan within the next week.

Meanwhile, the postie has been and a letter plopped on my doormat. A scan appointment, for Monday just gone!!

Only had a tiny little bit of pinkish mucus when I’ve wiped and I had to look really hard to see it. Had a few cramps but nothing out of the ordinary. Having sore boobs and had nausea earlier as well as last night.

That’s annoying about the scan appointment @Iswallowtoothpaste
Make sure if you have any further pains you go straight to a&e just in case it’s ectopic. I can’t believe your GP ignored the fact you’d had those pains! Hopefully it’s nothing and there’s a strong heartbeat when you go for your scan 🤞🏻

When did everyone tell friends/family about this pregnancy?
We’ve been too scared to tell anyone after our 3 losses. Scared if I share the news it’s tempting fate which I know is silly but it was the day we told our parents the last 2 times that I miscarried. I was only just over 4 weeks and I know there’s a strong baby in there now, just too worried to announce to anyone yet

Thank you @mummyjl15 I’m actually in the process of changing doctors at the moment.

I will probably tell my mum at 10 weeks ish (or after my first scan so I know all’s ok) simply because she was horrible after my second M/C, blamed it on my weight and made me feel really shit. I’ll probably wait until I can feel little one wriggle or until after my 20 week scan to tell the rest of the world.

mummyjl15 I told my parents and my best friend straight away (but in a 'I think I'm going to have a fourth miscarriage and I need support' way, not a happy announcement way - and they'd been great about the previous ones), and told everyone else, including work, at around 16 weeks. I had been hoping to hold out for 20 weeks but it was just getting impractical - I was avoiding social occasions entirely to get round the drinking issue - and DH really wanted to tell by then. We've just people as and when we've seen them, though - no social media announcement - so I'm still encountering people who don't know and who are shocked by my 7.5 months pregnant belly!

Had my dating scan earlier. Due date moved forwards 4 days to 2/12. Baby didn't really want to cooperate with having the nuchal measurement taken but after half a wee(!) the sonographer managed to get it.

Back is agony - DH thinks it's sciatica - so I'll be seeing the doctor tomorrow as paracetamol isn't touching the pain and I can hardly move.

@toothpaste glad it seems like you are getting better reception from EPU.

@mummyjl I totally get that, also have the superstitious feeling about telling people but have now told close family and friends, just really so there is some support, and childcare if all goes wrong.... not a very positive reason! I have struggled with people now assuming it’s ok though when I’m not at that stage of acceptance.

@em great news on the scan! Another milestone. Sorry about the back, I also have terrible back pain on and off and no idea about how to relieve it

@mummyjl15 I did the same as Lisa and have told the people who I would like to support me through miscarriage number 4 should it happen.

So I'm due my ELCS in a matter of hours - hospital for pre op by 8am!!

I can't sleep, not cause the OP concerns me but because I feel I need to stay awake and monitor babies movement, im scared that having got so close something could go wrong over night

Anyone awake for a hand hold and a head wobble

@zaalitje best of luck today! I’m sorry, I’m just seeing this now. I hope you got some sleep.

Sorry, zaa, just seen this and you'll be at the hospital now! Hope they don't keep you waiting long and wishing you very best of luck - you'll be meeting him so soon!

Good luck zaalitje I hope it goes super well!

@zaa all the best for today 💐

Good luck @zaalitje. Thinking of you!

@emwithme oh I know what you mean! I’ve been suffering with sciatica since my first miscarriage in June last year and some days I’ve been unable to stand up the pain is so bad! I’ve had so many different types of pain relief but the only things that have helped is yoga and having reflexology every other week (honestly try it, it’s amazing and made a huge difference to my sciatica, I’ve had very little pain since starting it a couple of months ago)

@zaalitje so excited for you! All the best for today!

I’ve decided I’m going to tell my best friends and our parents about this pregnancy over the weekend. They were all so supportive during my miscarriages and the fact I’ll be 11 weeks tomorrow I’m feeling a little bit better about things now