Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss

[BertieBotts]

Welcome everyone :)

I am feeling much more positive today, how is everyone else?

That sounds like a really good plan - try and get some sleep if you can - if you want to chat tomorrow do pm me, I'm waiting in all day for the washing machine man - exciting times so happy to be on hand if you need a bit of distraction or support.

It's such an anxious time, I truly never realised how stressful it can all be before I fell pregnant. The magazines make you think it's all glowing skin and twirling around in meadows in maxi dresses. [need a rolling eyes emoji here!]

Hopefully it's nothing, and you're just having one of those incredibly stressful pregnancies which involve a bit of bleeding now and then. If the pain does get bad, do call 111 for advice just incase xx

Why is life so hard Iswallowtoothpaste? I'm scared of going to bed incase it happens again.

@peachesarenom keeping everything crossed everything carries on smoothly with no more bleeding. It's such a scary stressful thing to happen :(

@whyhastherumgone thank you so much and I’ll keep you updated! First trimester is so worrying even when you haven’t got cause to worry!

@peachesarenom the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I bled with DD and she’s fine. I’m so pleased all went well today at your scan. Just think of that little heartbeat going ten to the dozen in there x

How are you doing today @peachesarenom and @iswallowtoothpaste ?

I'm fine, v.tired

Tiny bit more bleeding this morning when I wiped. Sore boobs have returned, uterus feels very heavy stop having the left sided round ligament type pain.

Will be ringing GP as soon as I’ve dropped DD off at school. Meant to be going into work today but I’m panicking about whether I start bleeding again while I’m there.

I’m 10+4 weeks now @Paranormalbouquet and have my booking appointment on Thursday. I’ve got my 12 week scan booked now too which is good! The doctor at the RMC booked it for me yesterday as my booking appt is quite late in my pregnancy

@peachesarenom ah that’s great news! So so pleased for you!

@iswallowtoothpaste oh I’m so sorry to hear this! How many weeks are you? Can you go to A&E and just say you have a pain and you’re pregnant? My friend ended up doing that as she was told she couldn’t get a scan without an appointment by her doctor.

From my rough dates I’m at least 7+3, had a scan at 7+4 with DD due to similar bleeding with her and saw a heartbeat although I’ve now it a bad gut feeling about this.

@Iswallowtoothpaste I hope you get a scan sorted soon, it’s horrible having this uncertainty.

@mummyjl15 I’m glad you have a 12 week even arranged now. Mine is June 8th, I think I’ll be 11+5. I have scan+harmony booked for next week. That’s my next milestone!

Thank you, I’ve rung my GP’s surgery and spoke to the nurse who said I should’ve had a scan date and midwives appointment date by now of which I’ve had neither. Anyway she’s going to get the doctor to give me a call back. I almost feel guilty asking for a scan. I feel like there are people out there that will need one more than I do.

Had a call back from the doctor who couldn’t have been less interested if he’d tried. He’s told me to just ‘wait and see.’ Which would’ve been fine if I was only 4/5 weeks along but I’m at least over 7 now. Told me it’s sounds like I’m probably going to have a miscarriage as bleeding never usually ends well which I know is bull shit really.

Hacked off with his attitude to be honest, wasn’t even bothered when I told him about my left side pain. Made me feel as though I was wasting his time.

FFS I HATE it when medical professionals are so dismissive. It's such a problem IMO. I get it that there's not a lot they can do if someone is going to miscarry but at 7 weeks they could absolutely scan you and see what's going on.
It makes me so so mad. Some of these healthcare providers could really do with a dose of compassion.
I really think you should go to A&E even though it's a pain. Go because of the pain and the bleeding.

He made me feel about 2 inches tall. Thought I would’ve at least been offered a scan seeing as though I’m 7 weeks on at least and should be able to see something.

Waiting and seeing isn't doing me any good at all. It’s all I’ve been doing these last 4 weeks and it’s driven me absolutely mad. I can’t deal with the up and down of it all the time. I just want to know. My fear is that A&E will just say the same an I quite think that they will. There’s one thing for sure, I’m definitely changing doctors!

Have you still got bleeding?

The bleeding has stopped for now maybe a tiny bit of pink when I last wiped but nothing alarming.

That’s so rude!! I get miscarriage is common but it’s such a traumatic thing to go through mentally as well as physically. I don’t understand why doctors can’t be more sympathetic above it it rather than saying ‘wait it out’!
For my first mc I was almost 7 weeks and had some bleeding but I wasn’t too worried (this was before I knew anything about how common MCs are and thought it was just normal bleeding), the doctor sent me straight for a scan to check so I found out that day I’d miscarried.
It’s the not knowing that’s worse, at 7 weeks they should definitely offer to scan you. Don’t feel bad asking for a scan, it’s important to know what’s going on as if everything is fine you don’t need the stress.

If you've got time I think I'd still be inclined to pop to A&E but obviously entirely up to you

I really don't think mental health in these situations is given enough consideration.

I think I may still do that and if I get no luck with them, I’ll be ringing the midwife whether I’ve had a referral or not and explaining what’s been going on.

Could you try the midwife anyway? And just really hammer home the impact it's having on your mental health - the worry and stress and anxiety, and the fact that you're not being given very good care or support?

I'm really sorry you're being treated like this, toothpaste - it's horrible when doctors don't take you seriously or consider the impact on you. I think calling the midwife is a good plan, and really emphasise the left side pain - that's potentially serious, and needs to be checked out.

I might actually get more sense out of a midwife I guess?

Yes, I think so: in my experience the amount GPs actually know about pregnancy and miscarriage is massively varying, and the 'bleeding is always miscarriage' and not spotting that pain to one side needs checking out both suggest that, leaving aside his bedside manner, this one isn't exactly among the best informed.

Agreed @lisasimpsonsbff I had a doctor openly Google miscarriage when I went in for a follow up after my MMC. I could not have rolled my eyes any harder.
I get they can't know everything about everything but jeez take a minute to refresh before your patient comes in rather than Googling in front of them and then authoritatively shutting them down whenever they say anything about the experience.

Hope you get on better with the midwife if you call @iswallowtoothpaste

@Lisasimpsonsbff I thought he didn’t seem very well informed I must admit. Had got the midwife’s number off my friend.

@whyhastherumgone that’s terrible! I wonder if it was men who experienced the physical side of miscarriage if they’d be more sympathetic then! More than likely