Pressure to breastfeed.

[Kitcat159]

This is prob going to cause arguments but I'm just looking for some actually advise....
I don't want to breastfeed. I never have. I have discussed my reasons with my husband and he is happy with my decision.

My mum however is constantly pressuring me to breastfeed.

I still don't want to BF but as a compromise, what about if I express for the first couple of weeks?

I don't know how that would work in the hospital tho. Will I be pressured to BF?
I don't know if it would be appropriate to want to express in the hospital?
Should I just stick to my guns and bottle feed instead?

The midwife said someone will help me to breastfeed and when I said I am going to bottle feed she said they will send someone to help me BF anyway. Feel a bit pressured.

Is expressing from the word go an option?

You cannot say anything with 100% certainty when you haven't tried the alternative.
As I've said, I'm all for breastfeeding. I am breastfeeding right at this moment. Life is much easier for me by doing it.
I do find it irresponsible to make claims about it being wonderful and magical without the caveat that you only know that is true in your own single experience a d youve nonodea if the alternative woulsve have or have not been an equal experienxe. Firstly for the women for whom it isn't magical and wonderful, for whom it's actually a horrendous struggle- are they doing it wrong? Secondly for the women who didn't succeed to breastfeed as they wanted, it just adds another layer to the crippling guilt.

I will never understand why a FTM who has no experience of BF will just dismiss it out of hand during pregnancy. Yes it’s 2018 we’re all I powered women yada yada, but honestly it is selfish, misguided and a bit fucking crackers.

What an unpleasant person you are

Why is it selfish frilly?

I will never understand women who are so obsessed with other women feeding their own children . Bonkers !

I think we have a few ‘alpha mums’ ok This thread...

Women who look down their noses and make negative comments about other mums and their choices..

I am sorry if my comment offended anyone, I didn't mean to, I was trying to say, if formula wasn't an option then there wouldn't be a choice would there? Baby would just be bf. I would think a lot of reasons back then that women failed to bf were due to lack of nutrition etc but in this day and age that shouldn't be a thing surely?
I formula fed my first btw because I got no support and fully believed I had no milk! I have successfully fed my next two babies. I believe it is rare for a mother to not have enough milk for the baby, problems usually arise with supply when supplementing with formula before bf is established. But in the cases a mother just doesn't want to bf then of its her choice! But fed is best is a ridiculous statement! Best? Better than starving?

You tell your mum when she had babies she could feed them which ever way she wanted to. It's your turn now and its your choice. I'd be pulling her up about calling you a disgrace. That is a disgrace!!
With the midwife you say something like 'I'm sorry, you must hsve misunderstood. I am not breast feeding. Thank you all the same"

I will never understand why a FTM who has no experience of BF will just dismiss it out of hand during pregnancy. Yes it’s 2018 we’re all I powered women yada yada, but honestly it is selfish, misguided and a bit fucking crackers
To be honest it doesn't matter what you think. The OP didn't ask for opinions about why she shouldn't bf but is under pressure trying to keep everyone happy.

OP do what works best for you.

With the Ff v bf debate in in the camp of just make sure your baby is fed.

I didn't mean to, I was trying to say, if formula wasn't an option then there wouldn't be a choice would there? Baby would just be bf.

Er no, actually babies used to die. And no, not just because of lack of nutrition and support.

I will never understand why a FTM who has no experience of BF will just dismiss it out of hand during pregnancy. Yes it’s 2018 we’re all I powered women yada yada, but honestly it is selfish, misguided and a bit fucking crackers

Maybe you should have a bit of fucking empathy and think there might be LOADS of reasons why a woman might not want to do it, none of which have got anything to do with you.

I will never understand why a FTM who has no experience of BF will just dismiss it out of hand during pregnancy

Genuine question: Can you express why?

Because a woman has the right to hold that opinion and a right to bodily autonomy. If we start policing women’s decisions we deny them that agency.
Its like there’s some sort of committee approving how ‘worthy’ peoples reasons are for not breastfeeding. ‘I don’t want to’ is enough. No one needs to justify it or explain it to anyone.

I BFd mine for years before anyone has a go about me being anti BF. I’m very pro - IF that’s what a woman wants to do. I’m even more pro bodily autonomy, and if someone doesn’t want to, they don’t need to explain why to me, or to anyone else.

Don't bf if you don't want to. I think everyone should try, but nothing bad will happen if you don't.

Mothers, in laws and others will have opinions on everything. Get used to being firm with them now.

I'll be bottle feeding like I did with my 1st hasn't harmed him any he's a brilliant, bright little lad, I don't see why there is such a stigma to bottle feeding bugger all to do with anyone else 😁

I will never understand why a FTM who has no experience of BF will just dismiss it out of hand during pregnancy. Yes it’s 2018 we’re all I powered women yada yada, but honestly it is selfish, misguided and a bit fucking crackers

And also none of your business whatsoever

MN would be rather sparse and dull if everyone minded their business.

I personally don't get why it is anyones business how you intend to feed, but I don't get all the people who choose to bottle feeding feel like there is a stigma - you are joining the majority in this country as most babies are bottle fed surely?

My baby had his first lot of injections recently and I was laughed at openly by the other mothers as I was breastfeeding who were all snickering and in general acting like prize cunts. I was also the only one bf on the ward after birth.

One of the most inflammatory things you can possibly say on Mumsnet is “ I found breastfeeding easy and convenient”

One of the most inflammatory things you can possibly say on Mumsnet is “ I found breastfeeding easy and convenient”

Is it? I've said that loads and never received any backlash for it.

It was easy and convenient. For me.

I recognise that doesn't mean it's easy and convenient for everyone, just as those who found it awful presumably recognise it isn't awful for everyone.

I'm trepidatious of breastfeeding again. It went badly with DS. It felt weird to me, and unpleasant. He hated it.

But I'm having another DC in June and I'm definitely going to give it another go. It's free, it's less faffy, it's the best nutrition possible. It might go badly, and if it does I'll switch straight to formula. There'll be no guilt about doing so. But i might as well try.

What it comes down to, really, is this pushing “breast is best” isn’t working. In fact i’d say it was counter productive, as people try who don’t want to, then the false information is perpetuated. If you look at the bf rates in this country, it’s extremely unlikely all those who bottle feed have a supply issue, yet that’s what every bottle feeder i have met has said.

It is fine the nhs saying all this, but there is nothing to back it up. No support, no normalising of bf, no actual talking about bf babies and what their feeding pattern may look like.

At my 6 week check i was asked how i was feeding at met with sheer disbelief when i said ebf. What no top ups? No formula at night? None at all? My baby was actually diagnosed with failure to thrive at 4m, because she’d dropped two centiles. I was lucky that my hv said to keep bf, as if i switched to formula i may mask a real problem. I then met a great paed who said she was absolutely healthy, and some bf babies simply grew in fits and starts rather than nicely follow a curve.

For bf to become the normal way of feeding it needs to become a real choice. With proper support for those who choose it. Trying to guilt everyone into bf means the support is spread too thinly, so nobody benefits.

Proper support, would mean that people learn the realities of bf and can make an informed decision.

Quietlife the latest estimated figure of deaths caused by unsafe formula feeding is actually around 800,000 from a report by WHO and unicef. Some reports have come back with figures up to 1.5 million. The charity Baby milk action has lots of info on their website and links to various reports if you want to read up on it.

Great Post really. Agree completely.

unsafe formula feeding such as poor countries watering their babies milk down? Your comments imply that fomula it’s self is the cause

Can you post a link grandma as can’t find it

grandma Can only find reasons such as

Unclean water to mix with the formula

Mothers from poor countries watering milk down to make it last longer.

Still can’t find those figures or a direct link from infants dying specifically because of formula when it was used correctly