Pregnancy after MC Part 6 - supporting each other through the highs and lows

[Daisybump]

I thought that this one sounded really good!

Morning everybody.
Hotchoc - great news! I opted for taking the nuchal scan privately (was my 12 week scan at the same time). As with all scans I was quite scared beforehand and I did spend quite a bit time considering what I would do if the results would come high risk and what my individual levels of 'high risk' are. It was an opportunity to discuss with my husband what we would do if we knew we would have a child with disabilities etc. The scan not only looks for Down syndrome but also other abnormalities (e.g. Edwards syndrome, anencephalitis) which would be 'incompatible' with life and either end in a miscarriage or in neonatal death. I personally would have opted to end a pregnancy that is incompatible with life and have a RL friend who found out at the nuchal that her child would most likely have Edwards syndrome (she is currently undergoing further testing). So that's the scary, in my opinion 'down' side of testing.
I was very very blessed in that the results of my nuchal scan were positive. Not only was my risk for Down's, Edwards and Trisomy 13 small, but they could also see a brain, 4 chambers of the heart, a functioning stomach etc, so that in a sense it was a mini-20-week scan, which is extremely reassuing to me. So for me it was good to take the test because the results put my mind at ease (at least relatively speaking).
So much for my expereince.

Hi to everybody else.

Daisy -- I would share your feelings with your DH. Mine is always very surprised how much I miss the child I lost but it helps him to understand what's going on and he realises often that he misses it, too.

Fettle -- thinking of you. Hope your enjoyed the photo op.

hi guys....gosh its been busy on her hasn't it.

Glimmer, thanks for your advice. We had quite a chat over the weekend and I'm feeling much better about things, although I've been really flat since yesterday, but I think that is purely down to hormones. Getting odd niggly pains, but as I was induced with my DS I may as well bee a first timer where recognising labour is concerned. Feelin strangely restless today which coupled with odd pains and quite cramy BHs is giving me some cause for alarm....I've not even packed my hospital bag yet!!

Hotchoc....just echoing other thoughts really. DH and I talked about getting a nuchal fold scan done (not done routinely here either) but decided that after the trauma and sense of loss of the MCs we would have continued with the pg anyway so there seemed little point. Our 20 week scan didn't show any markers for Down's etc, however we know that doesn't mean we're out of the woods yet. As my due date gets closer I do find myself panicking a bit about it all, but I think that's par for the course regardless! Its a difficult one to advise on, as everyone feels differently, but I hope you can come to a decision that you're comfortable with!

Don't mean to ignore anyone else....just a fleeting visit as my nesting instinct is telling me I must pack my hospital bag NOW!!

PS...please forgive my spelling, its atrocious

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Firststar - you need lots of sleep during and after pg in my experience! Once you get through the sleepless nights because you're feeding every 3 hours or so, you then get the sleepless nights because they're teething... Don't know yet what comes after that, but suspect there will be something else, like nightmares! Hope you're getting lots of rest and relaxation in these last couple of months!

BTW, Daisybump - agree with Firststar. Remember you're meant to get a burst of energy within the days leading up to labour... How exciting!!!

Hello I post on too many threads and really should spend more time here with you! I will catch up this afternoon, hope all is well!

Hmm, go and get yourself sorted Daisybump. Even if this ends up being a very slow build up to labour in weeks' time, it would do no harm to have that ready.

Re: the nuchal scan. Just to add my thought process at the time into the mix of opinions here. I opted to not do it, because when I thought about it I realised that the only result I would want to hear would be that the had a 1 in a million chance of having any chromosomal abnormalities. I wasn't prepared to go for the amnio or CVS after the m/c as having been one of the 3% who see a heartbeat and then miscarry I thought 1% sounded too risky. So wasn't sure what I'd do with any ambiguous results like a 1:250 chance (say) of having Downs. It would only have worried me more. As it is, it doesn't really feature in my mind much. Also, particular to my situation, dp seemed to be of a different opinion to me regarding what we'd do if the baby did have problems. I could see fairly tricky discussions on the horizon if we had had an ambiguous or bad result. I would still have ended up continuing with the pregnancy anyway so why add all the heartache.

Brilliant news on the scan result though Hotchoc. It's amazing that they are wriggling and kicking at such a young age isn't it.

Ejt and all you other singers - I think that singing is definitely the way to go for bonding. I am a frequent and loud singer (oh my lucky, lucky neighbours) and I remember it used to be a brilliant way to calm my dd when she was under 6 months....I used to put on a favourite CD of mine and really sing along loud to it with her up on my shoulder as I walked around the room. She used to fall asleep (despite how loudly I was singing, I was really singing!) and I'd get a nice therapeutic sing song. I wondered if it was a familiar sound from when she was in the womb?....

Oh, Firststar I remember the awful sleep issues. I was considering buying one of those body pillows in anticipation, but there seem to be really mixed opinions on them. You've now put me off again. I suppose the plus side is they do have a use after the baby is born. Oh I don't know.

Fettle, I shall look out for you tonight. I hope it put your mind at rest. Did your dd go too? Mine is this afternoon at 4pm, my dd has been told about it but she is having a party at her nursery today so she has the option to not come.

Oh, just a word of caution to you fellow knicker checkers if you have other children. I saw yesterday that when my dd sat on the potty she looked in her knickers in a manner remarkably similar to her charming mother . THEN, later on when I went to the toilet and made a conscious effort not to check in front of her she said 'but mummy you haven't looked in your knick-knocks'. I didn't even realise that I was doing it that much any more, but I obviously am but I don't know it.

HOTCHOC - conratulations on such a good scan!!!!! such good news

Dasiy - how exciting , might not be long now and baby will be here!!!!

Sorry its breif but i must get up of my butt today and do some house work!!!!

Hope everyone else is well!

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Firststar - having propped ds up on countless small cushions in order to breastfeed him (not to be recommended), I can pretty much guarantee that you will get good use out of your pillow if you are intending to breastfeed!

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Hello ladies!! Had the scan and everything is fine, saw the heatbeat and it's measured at 8+5 weeks!
Later DH is going to scan the pic, (which they charge me for!!) and i'll post it on my blog and post the link here! I'm sooooo excited and happy, I feel like a huge weight has lifted off me, it was so amazing. I'm just in awe of the little tiny being growing inside me.
I think we're going to call it Tortoise now coz it kinda looks like one lol.

Sorry I mean they didn't charge me - they should havem but I think they were touched by how nervous i was and then how happy i was after, that they decided not to charge me

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Very pleased for you, furrymummy!

I?ve finally caught up ???..

Hey Becklespeckle it?s great to talk to you again so soon! I can understand how you feel about the scans and never feeling home free I don?t know how I will feel about my scan on Monday (this is just to make sure that the baby is in the right place and not ectopic so I can start my meds for thrombophilia) I?ll only be 5+6 and that is based on AF not OV so I doubt I?ll see a HB, I guess I just have to be grateful if they see what they are hoping to. My software says my EDD is 17/1 (I OV late) I?m starving most of the time! Appointment went ok yesterday, Dr was lovely and there were no surprises as I?d learnt it all on here. It was a bit hard being back in EPU though.

Daisybump only 4 weeks to go! bet you are getting really excited now. Hope the appointment goes well re the C section. Can totally understand your thinking

Fettleandmini can totally understand why it is stressful if they give you an EDD which is too soon, I could see myself hiding in my house to gain more time! Why is it that the medical profession generally totally discredit what we know about when we OV? I see you 20 week scan is today really hope it goes well. Obstetric cholestasis sounds nasty! Hope things went really well today.

Hey Furrymummy I hope all is good with you, what discomfort are you having? Good luck for the scan. Sounds like they are still working you too hard holiday sounds wonderful! No MS for me (yet!) exhaustion has kicked in and my boobs are enormous ? remember that dress I bought for the wedding ? well, it?s on Sat and I don?t think it?s going to fit, must try it on tonight.

Purplelostprincess ? I?m sure the memory of a MC will always haunt no matter how many kids we go on to have, I have been feeling a bit haunted this week, going through the early bit again and digging out the books makes me miss my lost baby a lot especially as I haven?t bonded with this baby at all yet, maybe I am scared to. Hope the scan goes well. I really hope today is not too hard.

Thanks Uki you stand out to me as a MN pal who has really helped me over the whole blood clotting thing, thank you sooo much and for the tip on the aspirin, I think the Dr was quite impressed and told DH that I?d clearly done my homework, I mentioned that I?d been on a parenting website and got some info and she winked and said she posted on them a lot too she is 7 months!

Ejt hello you! And thanks for the welcome! Hope all is good with you?

Lorla ? I see your next scan was today, hoping for you that you are ok and can get through this. Please talk to us; it is such a lonely time. The limbo is horrible. I?ve been there willing a miracle to happen.

Hello Mumpbump! thinking of you and your Mum. Good point about the nuchal, I?ll have to think about that.

Hello Glimmer ? I?ll also have to weigh up what you?ve said.

Hello HotChoc that?s great news about your scan! I bet you cried, I would have! Your Mum must have been so happy for you. Hope she is as good as she can be.

Hi Firsty posted all the details of my appointment on the Graduate thread. It did go quite well, won?t get my meds until after scan on Monday. Scary thought.

Now caught up on today?s

Rubles ? PMSL at your DD knicker spotting so young!!

Hey Pinky hope you are well!

Oh Furry so so so pleased for you! did you think you were that far on? Now you can have a FABULOUS holiday!

Furry great news so glad you saw LO and HB! Enjoy the pics and the holiday!

Fettle? I guess you are all tied up at work.
Which is a good sign, I guess!!!

MrsMc glad you had a good appointment and saw a registrar you trusted. Take is one step at a time and don't worry about nuchal at this point. I only go through the first 12 weeks by making it through one day at a time. I have to admit even now I get worried after about 7-10d after the last sign of life. Look forward to my booking appointment with MW (who is a XY (man!), but I liked him very much last time and I am not the one to question people in gender-atypical professions quite the opposite...) because I hope he'll listen to HB.

Am hunting house for husband and me and LO. Can't beleive that things are coming together finally.

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Big Big for you furry...that's brilliant news.

Thankfully the EPU changed buildings at our hospital so you no longer have to go anywhere the ante/post natal departments. I found it very difficult sitting there in the waiting area with all these heavily pg women waddling around. The last time I was there though was for good news so it might not have affected me the sme way. Better for everyone from now on though...

Well....I didn't get the hospital bag done...decided my make-up bag needed to be washed out instead, and the lovely jasper conran bag I bought isn't big enough so I'll need to put the baby stuff in the changing bag...which will arrive tomorrow with the pram and cot . I still can't quite believe this is really going to happen.

I've felt a bit odd about bonding with this LO as well......and by the time I had relaxed enough to start the bonding process the nasty hormones took over and I've been on an emotionla roller coaster ever since. Our HV team has a mental health nurse though and she's coming to see me on Thurday (I had PND after DS was born) so I can talk to her about how I've been feeling.

Just realised after doing this long post that I forgot to change my name back...we were mucking about on our ante-natal thread earlier....I hope no-one feels I'm being insensitive

Evening all ...

just popping in to say great news about the scan ... and Daisy, I think the name is great!!

Am absolutely useless tonight - am going to bed as soon as I've had a shower...

Hi all

You've been very chatty today haven't you!! Not sure I can remember everything, so if I miss anything I'm sorry, it is nearly DD bath time and I have to be quick.

Things definitely moving in the right, quick direction for you Daisy - hope the last few days/weeks go smoothly! Makeup for after delivery - i haven't even contemplated that!

Nuchal fold - I agree completely with Rubles. We had exactly the same thought processes. Wouldn't have risked amnio due to previous mc, and just knowing had high risk would worry me more. i'd rather deal with it all once I'd given birth. But it is a very personal decision, which only you and Dp/DH can make together.

Glimmer - how exciting. House hunting? Really must be making this all real for you now. When I think how awful everything was for you end of last year/earlier this year - such a turn around!!

anyway, bathtime calling, must dash. hello everyone else!

Well, must quickly tell you that my scan went well - everything in right place and right size. Sonographer wants to stick with my due date from my 12 week scan, which puts me back at 23rd Sept and 21+2 today - but still the head (which he confirmed is the most accurate measurement) was 12+5 (I think I'm 12+4 today, if you go by 29th Sept due date! i've given up, i'll go with whatever date, as long as this baby comes out healthy and happy!!

We did find out the sex in the end, as DD was convinced it was a girl. So I'm glad we did, as it is most certainly definitely a boy! DH said he is already proud of his son IYKWIM!! We had agreed to keep it a secret, but Dh has told everyone at work and DD has told everyone at nursery, so it was only me who managed to keep it a secret!! And it was DH who wanted to keep it a secret in the first place!!

Anyway, hope everyone else is ok - love and hugs to all.
xxx