Pregnancy after MC Part 6 - supporting each other through the highs and lows

[Daisybump]

I thought that this one sounded really good!

Glimmer - sorry to read you are feeling bit cack. I echo what evryone else has said - and bloody 'ell having gone through what you have its no wonder you are wary of nhs / hospitals. You are certainly not a drama queen. But you are comfortably pregnant Read yr own posts after yr last scan

There was a good post on here a few weeks ago about things you can do /say to ensure good care during labour (it was on a thread about that panorama program) I intend to be very much like that - I don't care if I come across as a pain in the arse. I'll be very polite but I want to make sure I get the best possible care and minimise chances of foetal distress etc (which happened last time round and I didn't have a clue and wasn't the slightest bit panicked by the fact dd's hb had gone down to 60 Nor was my mw who I barely saw all labour)

I think its very easy and entirely natural to feel let down and wary of medics / hospitals following cock ups and lapses in care. I don't know if it offers you any assurance at all but keep in mind that when someone has experienced this - subsequent professionals are likely to be far more on their guard. Even if its just cos of the knowing attitude you give off. That's what I'm clinging onto for myself anyway

Hola amigas!!! I am back from España!
Weather was lovely, very hot and sunny except yesterday when there was a terrific rain storm with thunder and forked lightning!
Only downside to holiday was mi abuela (grandma) is in hospital She had been diagnosed with leukemia, it sounds like they have caught it early and she is doing okay, however she caught an infection in the hospital and so I wasn't allowed to visit her. Happily by Monday the doctor pronouced her infection free so saw her yesterday afternoon. She is over the moon about the prospect of another great grandchild (she has 2 so far), as is mi abeulo! I also saw 2 of my dad's sister and spoke to the 3rd one (who lives in Miami) on the phone.
Abuela was hopiing to go home yesterday, but her BP is high so they are keeping her in a few more days. So I asked my dad to keep me posted.
As for me, I am okay, very little ms when I was out in spain, though kept feeling nauseous at times and appetite was poor. Not looking forward to going back to work either..

Hope you are all okay anyway, congrats to all those who have had successful scans, my next one (13 weeks) in on June 12th!

My granny is spanish too. We call her abuela Lucy. She's a quarter basque, quarter castillian and half german (but raised in spain).

Oh and she married an Irish man Got a good mix of blood me Ds has all my diluted mixture plus afro-caribbean from dh.

Afternoon all ...

Glimmer - I'm really sorry you're feeling crappy - but you are allowed to have down days ... oh, and wanting decent care at one of the most important times of your life does not make you a drama queen!
I've got myself a doula for this time around: dh is a lovely lovely man, but is not great at dealing with medical staff. Her job is going to be the one to be ar$ey on my behalf!

Uki - have fun at the hospital tomorrow.

MrsMc - CEFM is continuous electronic fetal monitoring ... basically strapping you tp a machine that goes ping (and records baby's heartbeat and your contractions). In theory, it's a wonderful thing - but it's often used an an excuse to leave labouring women alone ... and midwives tend to check the machine rather than the woman!
It also completely restricts your mobility - you can't move around a great deal. Given all the problems I have had with my pelvis, I need to be able to move around - hence me not wanting cefm - I'll be happy to have monitoring - it's just not necessary to be strapped down for the entire time.

I went to see the acupuncturist this afternoon, and talked to her about the appointment yesterday - one thing that concerns me now is the possibility of having to have an elective if I go too far over my due date (I have categorically stated that I wil not accept induction - and consultant agreed with me!)
Her response: 'not a problem - when you're sure you're ready, let me know, and I'll start you off!' - takes a weight off my mind!

Going to go to bed early tonight - I have been out the past 3 nights, and I can't handle it!

love to all ...

Hello everyone - not posted for ages, been working in US and really busy. Just had a lovely catch up and it has been great reading everyone's progress, really positive.

Glimmer - I hope you can sort the work thing out, it really does add a lot of stress, worrying about that too - are you planning to go back full time?

EJT - a girl, how exciting - congratulations!

MrsMc - I'm so glad to see you are pregnant again! I hope the meds are not spoiling your excitement. Can't wait for your scan - hope everything is perfect!

Jossie - how are you??? Are you around 14 weeks now? I hope you are feeling good.

Plummymummy - I have similar dilemma re: the hospital, the one I want to go to is over an hour away, very worried about going into labour on a Monday morning...

Beckle - how are you doing?

Hello to everyone else - looking forward to some birth announcements on this thread soon!

I had my 12 week scan last week and had a nuchal this week. Was supposed to be 13 weeks at the nuchal, but she thought I was further on, only just slipped in the threshold! Results came back good, so relieved, but still not allowing myself to make any firm plans...
Not told work and dreading it for some reason.
Night all!

Great news about your scan Strangetown

That?s a really good idea for researching your hospital gemmamc, must try that

Ejb ? I totally agree with all you have said. Must look for that post about labour. I want to be as well read as I can so that I am making informed decisions and not just going with what the medics say just because I don?t know any differently.

Hola Furrymummy I heard about that storm, my parents drove from Malaga in beautiful sunshine and then got caught in that storm in Chinchon! Really sorry to hear about your Abuela but sounds like she is getting better so that?s good news. I hope you enjoyed the break and I?m not surprised you don?t want to go back to work!

Plummymummy ? I grew up in Spain. DH and I are planning to move back when we have our precious bundle. We would like our kiddies to grow up bi-lingual I bet your DS is soooo cute

Thanks Ejt CEFM sounds like something for my ?probably not thank you? list. I know what you mean about not being able to handle late nights, I went to bed at 11 last night and have really struggled today.

Hey StrangeTown ? so long no talk how are you? Thank you for your lovely words for me That?s great news about your scan and nuchal what?s your next milestone?

Hi Strangetown-yes I'm 14 weeks on Friday, still having neurotic moments (such as oh no have my stomach / boobs got smaller), but I think that goes with the territory!
Good to know everything is ok with you.
I've not been posting lots, but have been lurking! Keep getting worried about tempting fate-mind you was very unimpressed when I had to lift DS1 & 2 down from our oil tank today (don't ask why they climbed up there, because theyt could I suppose, but hadn't thought about getting down!), so much for taking it easy and not straining myself

Mrsmc, I don't have a ds, I have a dss. The other two great grandchildren are from two of my cousins.
IN Madrid at the weekend, 33 people died in 27 car accidents due to the weather - there were gale force winds and hailstones the size of golf balls , so we were very lucky. Though couldn't believe the heavy rain yesterday, the raindrops when they hit the windscreen of my dad's car, were about 2" across!

StrangeTown, congrats on the scan

Glimmer - sorry you are so down, keep offloading here {{{{{hugs}}}}}

Not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, but I'll have gone into double figures - 10 weeks whoohoo!!!

I know hon that message was for Plummy

Hi Mrs McJ - yes he's scrumptious but then all mums say that about their lo's at you moving to Spain. Great for lo to be bilingual I agree. I wish I had been less rebellious when my dad was teaching us Spanish as children. Dh and I were having lessons for a while but we stopped when we moved as our mortgage increased and we couldn't afford them anymore. Are you fluent? Furrymummy how is your abuela? Agree CEFM to be avoided where possible. I had it with ds (not my birth plan!)as I had to be induced with drip because he had done a bowel movement before birth. There was nowt wrong with him - he got 10 on apgar score fgs! I think he just fancied having a dump and got bored waiting to be born

Hi everybody. Thanks so much for all your kind posts yesterday. I am doing much better today and MW found a heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!! EJB: 'comfortably pregant' I like the expression.... whish I could make my emotions make follow my head and feel what I know IYSWIM...
I was just a little much with everything going on, the stress about MW and the birth and the moving of house etc and yes -- the pg hormones!!. Thanks so much for being here for me! Your have become true friends.
Your points about being more prepared and assertive is a good one. I will certainly be informed and explicit this time and will brief DH who will be very good in supporting/fighting for my wishes. Thanks for the CEFM tip.
Yes, I consider working with an independent midwife or doula but the sad things is, insurance wouldn't pay for her, but for expensive private hospital. Typical, isn't it?! Will let you know as my plans progress.
Have important meeeting soon, so have to be off, will check in later!

Hi to Plummymummy (fascinating heritage), Strangetowm and Jossie (super- already twelve weeks!) and double digits for Furry! We are all going to stick out here for none months, yes?!!!!

Wave to Mumpbump, Uki (good luck with the test) and MrsMJnr (have a nice weeding party!)

And hi to everybody else!

Hey Plummy I?m not as fluent as I used to be but it comes back when I go over there. PMSL at DS?s dump, typical bloke!!

Glimmer that?s fabulous about the HB, I am dying to hear that when do you move house?

Morning all! Excellent news, Glimmer and Strangetown as well! Am in work late as I had to take ds to the doc's - he probably has chicken pox - so can't post at the moment, but will try to get back on later...

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Hello all

some of you may have seen me positng on the ante-natal and miscarriage threads. I ahve had two m/c in the last 6 months and , have just got antother BFP today. 4+O. Stronger line today than previous two pregnancies at the same stage which I am hoping is a good thing but TBH I am not going to believe it until I see a heartbeat

Welcome VV So sorry to hear of your m/cs but delighted you have a bfp I am not far in front of you and it is nerve wracking at this stage isn't it. I don't know whether coming on here makes time go faster or slows it down but at least it helps to off-load worries during the early stages. Will you be having an early scan?

Great news about scan Glimmer and glad you seem a bit more cheerful Hope your ds gets better soon mumpbump. Chicken pox has gone round a few times at ds's nursery but he hasn't caught it. In a way I would prefer him to get it while still young as it is so miserable for them when they are older.

Congratulations VV and welcome! As you may have seen a few of us saying, the first few weeks are very scary, but we all know how you might be feeling so you will get lots of support here! Here's hoping for an uneventful pg for you...

I will be having an early scan but I have decided to wait till 8 weeks ie. when there can be no doubt tnat a heartbeat should be present. The m/c I had befire xmas was missed but I had a dating scan at 5+4 where it all looked OK but then by 8 weeks there had been little progress and no heartbeat. for some reason I just want to skip to the 8 week on e and know re heartbeat either way (am setting great store by this 8 week marker!). Have DS 23 months already so have carred a baby to term. But am 39 so all fraught with difficulty

Thanks for well wishes for ds. Apparently, he is happy and has eaten well, so I'm hoping it might just be some random spots, rather than anything sinister. At least it's a bank holiday weekend so I will be able to spend lots of time with him if he needs it. Plus, I'm on holiday tomorrow for a friend's wedding! Hate to think how I stand any chance of catching up after the long weekend...

Furrymummy - glad you had a good holiday!

VV I know what you mean - my benchmark is 7 weeks as neither of the ones I m/c were developed enough to get to that stage.

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