Posifrickinspring thread for PG after MC!

[BertieBotts]

If we can't be positive about the weather what can we be?

Welcome posters new and old.

I feel that maybe we should try and embrace it a little and behave as anyone else would when they're pregnant.

That's exactly how DH feels - we've been told that we're 'normal', no one can find anything wrong with us and so far the pregnancy has been textbook, so we should - and I quote - 'act like the normo preggos do'. And I think he's right, but struggle to do it. I went to my first antenatal yoga class on Monday and felt so weird about it.

I think if you feel like you want to tell - either specific people, or in general - you should tell. As you say, there's no such thing as jinxing a pregnancy, and I think many of us here know that trying to 'stay detached' doesn't actually work, so if you want to be excited then you absolutely deserve to be excited.

I think you're right. If the nuchal scan goes well or the harmony test if I need it then I'll start to tell people. I think by that time we are actually going to have to start planning for there being a baby - there are huge waiting lists for nurseries etc and we need to get on with some building works. I don't really want to tell Work until I have to. I can't imagine they're going to be overjoyed.

I told close family around 14 weeks and work.. Well I told my manager and was going to tell everyone else after the 20 week scan (at 22weeks) around the 20 week mark one colleague came to me and have me a hug saying that's it no more hiding it we have all thought it for weeks and now its pretty obvious (I didn't think it was ) we are a small staff and in some way this was better for me.. I didn't need to actually come out and say it and two who knew of my previous losses I think (don't know for sure) spread the word quietly that I was anxious about it all and everyone was really good and caring.
Ekp I still have those anxious moments.. Had a scan on Monday and spent all day yesterday convinced I want feeling baby... I think I'd just had a busy day really.. Currently sitting on the sofa feeling baby push out at my hand on either side of my ribs.. My toast is ready but I'm not quite for moving yet as then I might not feel baby as much..
Almost 35 weeks.. Has anyone heard of placenta maturing and can explain more to me.. Afraid to Google.. Doc says at scan on Monday (and previous one 2weeks earlier) that placenta is starting to looking a bit mature so she is keeping an eye on baby growth and I'm back in 2 weeks again. From previous scan growth had maybe slowed down a little although she said she had struggled to get proper stomach measurements due to baby moving about and it could just be that atm.. Baby is still on 90th+ percentile but it just gave me a new thing to worry about and I think it's what led to my anxiety yesterday...
Sounds silly because I know doc surely wouldn't be leaving it 2 weeks if she was worried..

Weirdly I told my colleagues first. I work in a small office with 2 other women and I needed them to know that I'd be going to lots of appts and also that I would be feeling quite anxious. I said I didn't want to talk about it but just wanted them to know in case I needed to leave suddenly.

Told my mum and sister after 9wk scan as that meant I'd got further than before. I just couldn't face getting their hopes up again any earlier. Started telling close friends etc after that.

It's only been recently that I feel I can talk about it with any level of excitement or as if it's a thing that's really going to happen. I'd love to be like a normal preggo but I just can't. I'm lucky I got to enjoy it with DS but this is just something to be got through. Sorry to be a bit grim about it.

I don't think you're being grim about it at all, MsJuniper - you feel how you feel and that's fine. But I guess that's one of the reasons why DH really wants me to allow myself to feel excited - this is my first child, and we're not sure we'll have any more. If this one works out it might be my only go at a successful pregnancy, and I think he's worried I'll regret not enjoying it. Enjoying it is very hard, though!

Thanks for the new thread, Bertie.

Hope everyone is doing well, I've been away for a little while. All going ok here, I have my 25 week scan tomorrow, he's been wriggling and kicking for a couple of weeks now and it is mental watching my belly moving of its own accord! Little thing is definitely more active when I'm not.

I've picked up a nasty cold and am really suffering without ibuprofen and decongestants. Paracetamol just isn't cutting it. Can anyone recommend anything pg-safe but effective? I have chesty cough, burning sinuses, streaming nose etc, no fever though.

Wrt telling people, I told 2 close friends/colleagues at around 10 weeks (similar to Lisa in a "we're probably going to have another mc and will need support" way), family at 16 ish, immediate colleagues at around 20, and I've only just told work officially at 24. It's such a personal decision about when to share the news and previous experience does suck the joy out of it a bit. I am gradually relaxing as the weeks progress...although if I'm totally honest, I still don't 100% believe it will all work out well. It feels a little as though I'm going along with a daydream really, like those "when I win the lottery" conversations, iykwim?

Not grim at all Mrs J - you've been through so very much.

I told very close friends and my parents very early mainly to be a hand to hold if it went wrong. Mum at 5 weeks or before but only as I'd had a terrible chest infection and recurring Utis that signalled the start of pregnancy! She was just asking after me and I was feeling shit!

Very close colleague around 7/ 8 weeks as I was having a wobble.

But then not really anyone else till they started peering at bump, around 18-20 weeks. Had to tell my boss around 7 weeks I think more for her to plan around, as things creep up quickly.

Hey All

I'm another one in the 18w and freaking out stage. I'm hanging out for my 20 week scan (1st March same as you Bluee). I haven't felt any movement yet which is normal and fine, but ofc I'm worrying about it. Hope we all can stay sane till then

I'm doing alright. Feeling some wiggles but could still be wind.

I still haven't found a midwife which is a bit of a pain. Everyone seems to be on holiday either in August or September which makes my late August due date a problem! So far I've had one practice say if I get really stuck I can call them back and they'll assign me one for August and another for September. But I've got to go down the list and try everyone else out first. Hardly any of them seem to answer their phones!

I'm 25+ and have probably told 10 people, parents, direct manager, couple close friends I still get panic attacks at the thought of telling others, especially work colleagues who have the sensitivity of a sledge hammer and , having seen other colleagues pregnancies, would not shut up talking about it, I've only kept it together this far by not talking and if I were to ask them not to bring it up constantly the there'd be questions of why not . . . Argh!!
I once heard them (and theyre mainly women) discussing mc nd they came to the conclusion it would be like a bad period. I could have thrown things at them but instead ran off to cry and composer myself and said nothing, but then felt I couldn't take time off a couple of months later when I mc'd.

I have a midwife appt tomorrow that I'm super nervy about, I've still got no bump and have met several women at similar gestation who have nice neat and very obvious bumps. I've also got 101 other questions around anxiety that's built since 16 weeks.

I've just stumbled across this thread. I was a regular in 2016. Just wanted to give you ladies some positivity. I had a MMC at 11+6, seems like ages ago now. I didn't even TTC until my due date had passed as I was so heartbroken.

Fast forward a couple of years and my second has recently been born. I'm now the owner of two boys age 13months and 4 weeks.

Your journey may seem long. I still grieve my loss but that's ok. I guess I just wanted to let you know that there is light at the end

I'm 32 weeks, and told my work colleagues pretty much as soon as got BFP (work with drugs, anaesthetic gases & other potentially dangerous things so people need to be aware so you don't get exposed, it's crap telling so early, but they were all very supportive when had the MC before, so were quite understanding about my paranoia, anxiety & stress at first!)
We told no-one else until we had an early scan at 9 weeks, when we told our parents, then remaining family & close friends after the 12 (14 week in our case) scan

I saw the midwife yesterday for my 31/32 week check and all was fine, and growth scan today so fingers crossed for that. Still haven't decided what to do regarding our NCT classes, original one was cancelled and am rebooked on one that starts at 36 weeks, but I don't know if I should just cancel it.

I have 3.5 weeks left at work, and am completely counting down the days (13 if you want to know ) . 10 hour days take it out of you when you are 7 months pregnant!

Just a quick post to say our perfect baby girl Alice was born yesterday morning at 3.40am weighing 8lb 15oz. Came home last night and she’s been a star.

Keep going ladies. Sending lots of positive vibes to you all!

Oh congratulations! A valentines baby! How lovely!

Huge congratulations, noparticular!

Congratulations @NoParticularPattern **

Congratulations!! Love hearing about babies arriving :)

I'd love to keep my pg secret for longer but at 7 weeks I already have a noticeable bump and can't fit in any of my jeans. I told my mum and sisters at 5 weeks, I kind of wish I hadn't because they want to get excited and my mum asked the other day if the baby was alright and I snapped that it wasn't a baby yet. Maybe I'll feel different once I've had my early scan on Sunday. I think I'll have to confess after my 12 wk scan because it will be so obvious then. Even with my first I had a bump at 13 weeks so it's not a huge surprise that I'm expanding so rapidly!

Huge congrats, Pattern - that's wonderful news and Alice is a beautiful name

What a lovely picture Prusik, ty for posting the positivity :)

Our NCT classes were cancelled too, hotcookie, we're now booked on to another that will be when we are 37-38 weeks. Not sure if that'll be too late to be useful?

25 week scan this morning and all is well. We have a little 3d scan of his face :) I think the 3d imaging is a bit of a new toy for the sonographers to play with, they were getting quite excited about it

Wonderful news, pattern! Congratulations, and what a pretty name. Enjoy the snuggles X

How lovely to get a 3D scan, Brogueish - really pleased the scan was good.

I think I replied about NCT a while ago, maybe to cookie, but I do think it’s worth it even if late on. We didn’t get to attend the classes as DS came early, but I got in touch with our group and they were brilliant in the early days, even though DS was a bit older than the others (makes no difference after a while). We are all still close and even holiday together, have a babysitting circle etc.

@NoParticularPattern congratulations! Gorgeous name. Enjoy this precious time x

Hi ladies back again after MC in dec. Pg again 5 weeks tomorrow but symptoms seem very light compared to previous pregnancies so I need some hand holding to get me through the next few weeks. 6 week scan on 28th

Congratulations pattern and prusik and thank for for the positivity!

Great news pattern! Enjoy getting to know your little lady.

Well I'm pleased to report that despite whipping myself into an absolute frenzy and being utterly convinced it had gone wrong I had a succesful dating scan and have made it through the first trimester! Due date is 22nd of August. I cannot concentrate and am being utterly unproductive at work.

Thanks Lifeofpies - that's really reassuring to hear about NCT. We were a bit about being out of sync with the other EDDs but you're right, it won't make much difference at all after a little while.