Posifrickinspring thread for PG after MC!

[BertieBotts]

If we can't be positive about the weather what can we be?

Welcome posters new and old.

Pregnant after miscarriage in December hopefully all goes well this time round!

Hello all, can I join? I had two mcs in a row last year & got another bfp in November.

I'm currently 16 weeks on Wednesday & heard my baby's heartbeat at my 16 week check. It was truly magical.

I'll never ever be able to let go of the anxiety though, which makes me feel so sad. Even after this check I got into my car & sobbed with relief.

It's lovely to see some familiar names on here

Hello all, I haven't posted for a while, but just checking in to say that I'm 30 wks and all seems to be well. I've even managed to buy some nappies etc - turns out that the money saving opportunities of boots baby event are enough to overcome feelings of not being confident enough to plan for anything!

That's fab news @FoxtrotSkarloey - what a great picture too. Did you find out the sex? I had a scan at 17ish weeks and it made the 20 week scan so much less anxious with the knowledge that everything had been checked already. It's amazing isn't it.

@Stealthtoast good news from you too - I bought a little frock a couple of weeks ago but really need to start getting a few sensible bits together and packing a bag in case of an early arrival. I did look at some nappies the other day but freaked out and ran away!

Great to have so many new people on the thread, hope it is heartening to see those of us negotiating the journey further down the line. It really seemed impossible at 8 weeks that I could get this far (I am now 33 weeks after 6 mc + 1 DS age 5.)

Hello newbies! Wishing you all as little stress as possible.

foxtrot that’s a great scan, and great that they did an informal check over for you! We’ve got our sex scan on Saturday, I’ll be 16+6. Absolutely petrified.

Juniper it really is heartening, I love seeing updates from people nearing their due dates. Hope you’re doing ok. How is your DS feeling about it all? Mine is 4 and a half and we’re not talking about it too much yet, but he has been quite sweet (calls it ‘my Baby’). Thought of getting a book for him nearer the time.

Great news, foxtrot - and a lovely scan pic! Really glad it made you feel more reassured. Counting down the days to my 20 week scan - two weeks tomorrow.

Lisa, Foxtrot and others - how far in advance did you get your 20w scan appointment letter through? I know every trust will be different, but mine were quick to give me a date for my dating scan so wondering if/when to chase.

I got mine within a few days of my dating scan - I think they probably sent out the letter the same day

But my midwife did check I had one at my 16 week appointment and seemed pleased/a little surprised when I said yes, so they may not always be so efficient!

Thanks, Lisa. Glad yours were so efficient! I’ll give it another week then chase. DH works away in the week, so would be good to know in case I need to request a change.

Thanks Foxtrot! I might get on to them sooner then...

We are finding out for a few reasons, I want to sort through all DS’s baby clothes, I also had PND and think finding out will help me bond with the baby, and I’m nosy.

We want to find out because we think it'll make the whole thing a bit more real and enable us to think of the baby as more of an actual person rather than "it"

I felt the same with DS and some people scoffed at this but it made a difference.

It is still up for debate in our house. DH wants to find out because he feels like it will make it more real. I don't. I never have done. Current solution is to have a best of 3 game of rock, paper, scissors!

Marking spot. Not been online much this week as too busy vomiting!!!

@coastalchick apart from the vomming, how've you been?! Was thinking about you & @Flatwhite32 the other day (in a totally non-creepy way- honest!).

We're not going to find out. At first I was desperate to, but DH was so adamant he wanted a surprise I've relented. The idea of him being the one to tell me just sounds so lovely. As long as he doesn't fuck about!

Right I have a plan. I've worked 2 11-hour shifts this week (one down, one to go) as well as more overtime hours, and I'm working Saturday. I've decided to just say fuck it, bomb that into scans every fucking week and pray that this works out.

Worst case scenario at least I'll find out rather than have a prolonged mmc again. Just fuck it all

Hello @yellowfrontdoor! Thanks for thinking of me and @coastalchick! Glad to see all is good with you. I'm currently on holiday in New York with DH, so haven't been on mumsnet as much this week. Walked 30,000 steps yesterday and boy am I feeling it today! Having a great time though. I'm 17 weeks now, and can no longer do up my top button! Still as terrified as ever though. I don't think the anxiety will ever leave.

Hello all! Thank you for the new thread Bertie.

Welcome to new people - if there's one thing we all know about on this thread it's the awful lonely anxiety of the early days, which for me continued really till well after 20 weeks. (Almost 28!)

I'm much more relaxed now though I do have days/ weeks where I'm convinced there's less movement and post a panicked question In pregnancy. Ds (5) gave me an accidental quite hard kick when we were swimming a couple of weeks ago, after diving down to kiss bump which really worried me. I think at work when I'm racing around my bump tends to harden a lot and I don't feel him.

I can fully understand the zika worry zaa, after having endless issues over slapped cheek in my first pregnancy. I've a nagging back of the mind worry that the slightly fatter belly we saw at the 20 week scan was fetal hydrops and I've unknowingly caught it this time. I think this is technically silly in reality but I do worry. It's like thing thing hanging over you - I hope you can get through these weeks and be reassured by scans then.

I also found it very hard telling people. One colleague teasingly said she was upset id not told her (as she'd covered both my mcs last year) - I honestly thought I had - but I found actively telling people too hard. Bump has now told people the only thing I can say is that ideally work do a risk assessment and mine includes them needing to know for certain situations as I am now banned from some activities - which I couldn't physically manage even if I wanted to!

I've a 28 week scan in a week. My main worry is growth as ds had IUGR so hoping they can judge that then.

Ds is being adorable- kisses and sings to baby every day, he's so proud. I'm quite taken aback actually- I don't think I liked my sibling much when mine came along but I was 3! Dh and I joke that we hope baby lives up to expectations!

We've managed to get a last min holiday in the canaries which has been lovely. I think as I'm sitting about lots I can really feel (and see!) baby loads which is reassuring!

When did you all tell people? I suspect my nuchal scan will be high risk if for no other reason than my age (I'm nearly 40) and my hospital offers the harmony test free for anyone with a risk greater than 1:1000 so i was thinking of telling family after those results are back at which time I think I'll be close to or just over 15 weeks. Or is that too early? Do you think I should be waiting until after the anomaly scan? To be honest, I'm so fed up of having to lie all the time. With the constant nausea, tiredness and anxiety, having to lie on top is just exhausting!

I told a couple of people at 13 weeks after my scan, felt completely freaked out and upset by it so then didn't tell anyone else until 16 weeks (I had told my family and best friend right at the beginning, not in a 'I have wonderful news' way but in a 'I'm terrified I'm going to have a fourth miscarriage and need you' way). Yesterday I met a friend/colleague who greeted me with 'oh my goodness, you're pregnant!' which I thought was pretty bold because I'm only 18 weeks and this bump is definitely still in the 'could have just put a bit of weight on and it went right to her tummy' phase! I initially thought we'd wait until after the 20 week scan - and I still worry a bit that we should have - but DH really, really didn't want to. I just tell people when I see them and try and do it in the most low-key way I can, though - no announcements.

I told my mum and a friend who also suffered from recurrent miscarriages straight away for exactly the same reason. They've helped during those times where my anxiety levels have been through the roof. I so want to get excited about this pregnancy. I am at times. I told my son at the weekend (he's 21 and is currently on a gap year of sorts and I didn't like the idea of him being told at the same time as some family members - I felt he needed to know sooner).

Sorry I'm rambling. The sickness has been awful this week and I'm struggling with my mood I think.

We're in two minds about when to tell people too kirin. I've got my dating scan tomorrow and if that is ok I think we will just tell people. I think a lot of people have worked it anyway due to my lack of alcohol intake over Christmas and New Year. I feel that maybe we should try and embrace it a little and behave as anyone else would when they're pregnant. And also I am fed up of lying! But then the worries about jinxing it creep in, even though that isn't even possible. I think at work other than close colleagues I will just let people work it out when it becomes obvious.