Has anyone refused to stay on post natal ward due to men on the ward?

[PinkSnowAndStars]

Hi.

I’m not looking for a debate - and I understand how mums want their partners with them after giving birth.

I’m 26+5 with my second child. When I had my first in 2011 partners weren’t allowed to stay so there was no issue. This time my hospital allow Partners to stay on the wards in the 6 bedded bays with women that have just given birth. I’m a high risk pregnancy and will probably have to stay in one night after birth.

But the thought of staying in a bay with men terrifies me (childhood abuse) it’s literally panicking me and I don’t know what to do.

Has anyone had or heard of people refusing to stay? I don know what to do.

Tolly

UCH had a visiting policy when I gave birth in 2016.

Hopefully your midwife understands and you can get a private room op.
I am fully supportive of partners staying because there is no one else to look after new mothers and babies! My partner lifted my baby over to me for every feed and stood up and did the nappy changes. My leg wasn't working post epidural and I'd been stitched up from a bad tear, just moving from sitting up to lying down and back hurt. I do hope all the people against partners are aware they are recommending vulnerable unwell women unable to get out of bed be left on their own to tend a newborn.

Neiflette the op has said repeatedly that she doesn't expect a complete ban, but is hopeful that she can be accomodaed in a ward / room with no strange men because of issues from her past.

That, to me, seems completely reasonable. Good luck when you chat to the midwife OP

The stories of what some men get up to though are just beyond shocking and grim

I hope you get this sorted op. Last thing you need to be worrying about I imagine. Good luck for birth and congrats on your soon to be here new baby.

I do hope all the people against partners are aware they are recommending vulnerable unwell women unable to get out of bed be left on their own to tend a newborn

What about the vulnerability of other women who are unable to sleep on a ward with non staff males in overnight? What about women without a partner able to stay?
The solution is to have more nurses and other support staff, not rely on randoms.

Nimbler

Male and female are biological realities. Identifying as a male doesn't make you one. Being a male does. Males do not have babies. Transmen are evidently female because only females can "identify" that way.

I do hope all the people against partners are aware they are recommending vulnerable unwell women unable to get out of bed be left on their own to tend a newborn

No we aren't.

We're recommending that actual clinical staff be there to take care of people not well enough to be discharged from hospital, not people's random unqualified partners.

@BitOutOfPractice

The part about a complete ban being ludicrous was in response to someone on the 1st page saying they believe men shouldn't even be allowed to visit. Not to the OP, although that wasn't clear. I didn't differentiate that part from the rest of my message.

time you do realise lots of women give birth and raise children entirely alone? So no reason someone can't manage a few nights without theirs and respect the rights of a former abuse victim who will also be vulnerable and alone.

Apparently my usual midwife is on annual leave this week. So I’ll wait and speak to her when she’s back