Posifrickentive into 2018 - thread 20 for those pregnant after mc

[MsJuniper]

New thread - bringing lots of happiness, support and understanding through Christmas and into the new year!

Wonderful news @mammabear4

Sorry to hear your news @Hollymchollyface - look after yourself.

I'm after a bit of advice ladies. I am 9 weeks after two previous MMCs. We have told close family and they've all been great. But my MIL is driving me insane. I'm suffering with tiredness and she keeps calling at 9.30pm at night when I can barely form a sentence and then it's only to repeat the same questions - are you still feeling sick? are your boobs still hurting? I ignore the phone a lot of the time, but feel I need to answer it from time to time because I know her calling comes from a good place. However, I'm anxious and on edge enough about my symptoms without her focusing on them too. Plus, I haven't told her, but my symptoms are coming and going. But also, I didn't lose my symptoms with my two MMC so it's not really an indicator for me anyway.

What would you do? I'm tempted to ask my DH to have a word with her. Frustratingly he's often not around when she calls otherwise I'd get her to field the calls. The other day after me ignoring her for a few days, she text me so I replied (stupidly) so she immediately called!!!

Congratulations @mammabear4! Your boys are beautiful!

I'm so sorry @Hollymchollyface, take care of yourself and drink and eat everything and anything you want. I hope the new year brings happier times for you.

@AKP79 I think you need to get DH to gently say something. Get him to field the calls and try and just communicate with her by text saying you're too tired to chat. It's so annoying when people won't give you your space.

I'm really sorry holly, and hope you're able to take care of yourself. Hope you're back here soon.

APK that sounds nightmarish. I'm sure she means well but that sounds incredibly anxiety inducing and it needs to stop. I really think DH should have a word and say that while he understands that she's concerned and wants to be supportive, this isn't helping. It's completely normal for symptoms to come and go and asking you daily is inappropriate and just going to worry you both.

Oh and congratulations on reaching viability @MsJuniper! I hit the same yesterday, it's a very strange feeling. I still cannot believe I've got this far! Feels like a huge milestone

Thank you for your replies ladies. I have a tendency to be very over sensitive about things, so I'm glad I checked. But it's got to the point where I'm dreading the phone ringing. The other day I said I wasn't feeling as sick and she went into full blown interrogation. I know this is totally irrational and hormonal, but it's starting to make me blame myself a little for the past. I don't know why.

I'll speak to DH this evening.

Huge congratulations mammabear! Your boys are gorgeous and how considerate of them to come so quickly! You must be thrilled and proud and exhausted :)

Good luck for the scan today notpatient. It is a stressful time but I agree that it's great to be reminded that sometimes everything does go to plan.

So sorry, Holly. Wishing you all the best - take care of yourself.

AKP congratulations on your pregnancy. I have to be honest, you are being much more polite than I would be! I would just tell her that I'm exhausted and in bed by 9, so please don't call in the evenings. Do you think she'd be offended if you said that?

Hotcookie we are in exactly the same situation regards space! Our plans to extend have had a bit of a kick to get moving, although we're not due until June, all being well.

Thank you for your support and kind words. It really does help knowing that I'm not alone. I'm luckily not in work today so I've had a duvet day with my dogs.
Ekphrasis I had my MC in March at 12 weeks. I do feel like I allowed myself to grieve but I think MsJuniper you're right that the further along I get with this pregnancy (especially now I know the gender) the more I feel I have to lose, maybe? I guess its normal to have a blip every now and then.

hotcookie you're just a week ahead of me. Nice to know that people buying stuff freaks you out too! Distractions are good!! I'm hoping Christmas will make the next few weeks go faster.

Congratulations @mammabear4, its such a comfort to hear from new mummies!! Your boys are so precious, so happy for you x

mammabear your two baby bears look absolutely gorgeous, amazing news and so nice to see that pregnancies actually end up with babies in the end!

Holly, sorry to hear this, why can't things just go according to plan. Take care. Sending warm thoughts.

AKP I ecco the others, this must stop! You need to be able to contain your own anxiety, not your MILs on top of it all! It doesn't matter if the intentions are good if the result is this stressful. Hope you DH can talk to her.

I am back from my 7 week scan. It took ages for my consultant to fint the heartbeat, but thankfully he did, after what felt like 20 minutes of poking around (probably only 30 seconds, but still...). It was nerve-wrecking. It turns out that little embie has attached itself to the top of my uterus, and with the internal scan, it is impossible at this stage to get a good picture of it. Consultant was happy about the heartbeat, whereas I had hoped that it would be possible to measure the little bean so we would know that it is growing according to plan. But he let us come back in a week for a new scan, so at least that is something. And he didn't seem worried, so I have to focus on that.

notpatient that sounds like a good scan, if rather stressful. It's so difficult with the early scans. Congratulations on seeing the heartbeat, eventually!

I’ve got my booking in appointment tomorrow and I’m a mixture of excitement and nerves.

With my little boy I had no sickness ( or any real symptoms) but this time I’ve had sore boobs, nausea, dizziness and sooo tired however apart from being tired al the time the rest seems to have calmed down so I’m trying to talk myself out of panic mode.

Thank you for any support ladies I’m just so anxious as my last MC

Congratulations mammabear and enjoy your babies

Hello everyone, I'm after a bit of posifrickentivity. I've got 2 DD after a long TTC journey for each, involving 3 mc inbetween. DH and I decided to just see what would happen about having a 3rd because I just couldn't face TTC again and last Feb we got pregnant, but that ended in another MC.

I found out last Monday that I'm pregnant again, had no idea how far along I was so had a scan yesterday and they found a tiny empty sac making me about 5 weeks. Going back in 2 weeks to check everything's there. I can't imagine it being a good outcome - having had 2 blighted ovums. There's no point worrying about symptoms or taking tests, yet it is all I can think about.

Anyone got a positive outcome from an empty 5 week sac???? Anyone suggest how I can distract myself? - It's night time that is the worst - how can I get back to sleep when my mind goes from thinking about what we need to do to get ready for a baby to being certain that there won't be a baby and that I'll have to go through the whole MC process again.

PS mamabear4 your boys are so beautiful - congratulations and well done you on twin breeches!

Congrats mammabear, that’s wonderful news about your little boys;hope you’re not too exhausted!

I’m so sorry holly, that’s so unfair. Take care of yourself and hope you’re back on here again soon.

You’re a million times more patient than me AKP, I’d tell her to go jump...or probably something a lot ruder!

Hi to foxtrot and hetty and all the other newcomers I think I missed. Congrats on your pregnancies and sorry you’re feeling so anxious. It’s a very tough time. I’ve no useful advice I’m afraid as I’m also still worried most of the time but I’ve found/am finding it very helpful to vent on here; people here are so lovely! Hope you find it helps.

Welcome Foxtrot feel free to share feelings! I find it really helps to get things off my chest to allow me to move forward. Good luck. We're all here for you.

Hettyturnip I had a scan at 5+3 that found an empty sac, they arranged for me to have another scan 10 days later. At the second scan we saw the fetal pole but they still dated me behind. Anyway once I got to the 12 week scan they put me forward by a whole week as everything had "caught up". I know its difficult but I hope this give you a little piece of mind x

@foreverhopeful21 thank you, that’s exactly the thing I needed to hear! Thank you

@Hettyturnip That should have said peace of mind! Silly phone!!

Mamabear - congratulations!

I am 25+1 and things are looking reasonably O.K at the moment (I had a loss at 22 weeks a couple of years ago) and have two lovely dds.
Been for a scan today/consultant appointment. Fluid around the baby was on the upper limits of normal, so I am having a test for gestational diabetes/infection but of course anything that is potentially 'abnormal' is very anxiety provoking. I've come home from the appointment feeling shattered (emotionally drained) and burst into tears when I was sat with the consultant (who wasn't overly worried about my scan measurements) "I just want this over with, I found myself waling to her, and then I can put pregnancy and child birth behind me forever." (this is definitely my last pregnancy). I have to have a fragmin injection daily as a precautionary measure and can honestly say that this is the least of my worries compared to the ongoing psychological worry. This pregnancy has been so far removed for the naivety of my first pregnancy where I never envisaged for one moment anything going wrong...now there is fear everywhere. At 43, I am also an older mum on the block...everyone in the waiting area looked so young in comparison today (bar one other lady). I'm done with it all now (well nearly!).
Sorry to hear that some ladies are experiencing further losses x

mamma congratulations!!!! Your boys look gorgeous and you look so well. Much better than I did so soon after birth, and you’ve had 2! Glad you’re all at home now.
I don’t know if you know but your DH is allowed 6 months full pay of paternity leave? The RAF introduced it last year. (My last job was in HR policy at the HQ).
Anyway, have a lovely time getting to know your beautiful new boys 😃

Had my 3rd cervical length scan yesterday and all OK, so feeling more reassured now, next week is the anniversary of my ERPC so hopefully when I get that out of the way I'll feel better then.
Baby is kicking away at time, but I don't really feel other movement, just sharp muscle twinges.
Woke in the night with horrific cramp in my calf-poor husband was woken by my screaming. I really MUST REMEMBER to take my magnesium!
Hope everyone is doing well.

Your boys are gorgeous mama. Congratulations.

Welcome to all the lovely new people.

I am so sorry Holly. I hope you have plenty of real life support and are back here soon.

AKP I made it clear very early on to everyone that it was far too hard for me to discuss the pregnancy and that I would allow no questions. Only 1 person ignored that and they got blocked on phone, FB and e-mail and I stopped going anywhere they were likely to be. Apart from them then enrolling in my italian class in september, I have avoided the stress from them all summer. Thankfully I think they quickly figured out that if they dare say anything to me in class there was going to be the mother and father of all rows, but the very action of them doing that means they will have nothing to do with my baby afterwards. We are totally done now. I know you can't do this with your MIL, but I would just tell her it is making you anxious to talk about it and refuse to answer any questions ever. Make sure your DH backs you up.

I am glad your scan was looking good Notpatient, even if it was a bit tense at first.

I am sorry your scan was a bit worrying too User. I am right on the top line for fundal height but I am trying to tell myself that is great as it means baby has lots of space (although I hope this means it doesn't take him or her longer to move out). I hope all is well with your wee one - at least they are taking lots of special care and investigating everything.

Ouch Hotcookie. I have had a few corkers of nighttime cramps. I have only wakened up DH once with them, thankfully just with me saying Ouch. I think that still scared him a bit, but he did calm down quickly when I explained that the ouch was a cramp.

Hi guys 👋🏼 I recognise a lot of you from the ttc boards. I'm 4+0 today after getting a surprise BFP at 10dpo on Tuesday! We were meant to be having a month off 🤣 I got 2-3 weeks on a digital today and my boobs have exploded. I swing between utter terror and panic to pure elation. Plan to do next digital after Christmas and hope to get a 3+ (should try to wait until 30 December when I'll be 6 weeks). Plan to get an early scan at 8 weeks in January and harmony at end of January. Eeeeeek

Hi @TheGrumpySquirrel I just saw the ttc thread in Active so had a look and delighted to see your news and also flatwhite too. So pleased for you.

Congrats Thegrumpysquirrel I remember you from the TTC threads! What a wonderful early Christmas present!!