Staying posifrickentive- Thread 19 for ladies pg after mc

[Brenna24]

Ready. Steady. Go

Just checking in to the new thread ladies!

I was also absolutely devastated to read about Miami. I’ve just posted on her other thread in bereavement. Such a horrible thing to happen.

To those asking about whooping cough/flu jabs I had mine last week at 21 weeks. They did them both together (in separate arms!!). The flu one was fine, but the whooping cough one was super sore after a day and very very itchy. No one thought that through did they- giving a pregnant woman a jab in each arm when she can only sleep on her side and still manage to breathe!! Never mind, all done now!! My surgery do them from 20 weeks onwards so I just had the flu jab at the same time as they’d just come in to the surgery!

Amy I hope you’re home and settled now! Fingers crossed baby stays put until your section date!!

Brenna you’re not alone with the awkward baby! Ours wouldn’t play ball at all, but does also have long legs! And a slightly giant head! Glad all was well though!

Oh, I'm feeling like such a selfish fool having avoided the thread for a few days because I was 'struggling' with anxiety and now sitting here in floods of tears thinking of poor, lovely Miami. Hoping they are getting all the support.

Also really lovely to read positive news from people. I'm sorry, I've done a bad job of keeping up personally. Always warms my heart to see the good news.

Hoping everything goes well for you Amy!

Brenna, beautiful scan picture!

Lisara, glad the bleeding settled. It's so worrying! I bleed after dtd and have done in every pregnancy (of which the first 2 ended in mc and this one we're yet to find out!) and it's always petrifying. Needless to say, I've not been too keen on it lately, even on the occasions I've not been feeling sick or too tired!

Amy, pleased to see your little one is staying put for the time being. I really hope you make it to your csection date!

Did anyone else's bump pop at 12 weeks? I know it's SO unlikely to anything but bloat this early on but it's so pokey-outy and it's so difficult when I don't even know if it's okay! It's there all the time as well. 3 more days until the scan and I'm having regular tearful, panicky moments. I've been trying to remind myself we'll be fine whatever happens but sometimes that's not enough.

Also, those of you talking about ligaments stretching - this is something really panicking me because I've not felt them at all this time! I did with the first pregnancy (which was twins), but not at all this time and I'm worried it means the baby isn't getting any bigger... has anyone NOT had the stretching and tugging sensations?!

Emvy I had some painful stretching feelings early on and panicked, then they went away completely for weeks and I panicked again. They've come back this week (13+2). I think if your bump is growing then that's definitely a good sign!

I am on the larger side so although I can feel the bump when I lie down, it's not obvious to anyone else yet. I get so bloated at the end of each day though. I kept googling bumps at 11 wks, 12 wks etc and comparing and worrying - not very healthy or sensible!

I have also posted on Miami's thread. Just shed quite a few tears reading it. How unspeakably cruel.

I had my next Italian lesson tonight. I was really dreading it after last week and the Mad Lady. I was expecially worrying about getting there and having to wait in a group in the corridor and how to handle it. Thankfully she was late again. Unfortunately she has decided to move from stage 1 in the other classroom to stage 2 with us. She is now IN MY FUCKING CLASSROOM!!! I have the rage. We are a class of 15 and luckily the table layout is in a square, so I can sit quite far from her but I am going to have to chose my seating wisely. I can't believe it but I refuse to lose my dignity and turn into the class crazy lady and have everyone else avoid me. So I am just blanking her unless she is stupid enough to escalate to approaching me. Then I am going to just look at her and say "I thought I was very clear in asking out not to contact me!" Then just give her an icy glare until she bogs off. It is really ruining class for me though. Plus it means to bringing baby into the class to say hi to everyone after he or she is born as I am not bringing him or her anywhere near this woman. I will arrange to meet people elsewhere.

@Brenna i'm genuinely a bit worried for you - she sounds a bit stalker-like :-/

Also thanks for the reassurance with the weird twinges - so hyper aware at the moment

Currently debating a 16 or 17 week scan but can't decide if that will cause more worry if the measurements are a little bit behind. Did anyone else have one?

I went out for dinner tonight with a friend who regaled me with 20 week scan scare stories - was feeling good and positive until I left and it's thrown me. She also said gaily "i can see you've stuck to the rule of not getting your hair coloured look at your roots!" Might be rethinking the "friend" status to be honest.

Jeez. Some friend there Rum. Not what you need right now. It is not like we don't know the problems we face anyway.

I am starting to feel quite stalked too. But I really need these classes for when we move to Italy and to talk to the in-laws now. Plus I enjoyed them (at least until this) and I refuse to be pushed out. I have a group of friends from my class last year, so I am just sticking in the middle of them. If I asked them to, I am sure they would keep close in turn, but I really do not want to have to involve others in this. I feel like I am crazy for being upset like this. But it is getting beyond a joke. I have literally given up all the things I did that we shared, which was quite a lot, and am only meeting up with people from those singly elsewhere. For a while I had to change which church I was going to.

Perhaps it couldn't hurt just to mention it to a few of them? I don't know I just feel like it would be better to have a few people aware - especially since she seems to be trying to get closer and closer.

Sorry not trying to worry you! Just seems very odd.

@Brenna she sounds absolutely bonkers. I'd definitely explain it to your friends in the class so they can help you stay out of her way. Nothing like a few friends for moral support when you need it.

Talking of friends @Rum yours sounds awful! Why would she say any of those things. For what it's worth I think I'll get a 16 week scan (if I get that far!) I'd like another check to make sure all is ok. I'm already a bit twitchy because it's over three weeks till my next one.

Hi everyone, I've been off the thread for a wee bit but glad to rejoin, thanks Brenna for the new one! I think you've all summed it up brilliantly, after I pm'd Miami I just needed a bit of a break to get my own fears under control. But reading all the love on this thread is good for the soul, and you're all a great group of people to know (anonymously). It's not that any of us want to borrow trouble, but terrible news like that does throw you--and it has renewed my gratitude at feeling every single kick and turn of my baby.

@rum, oh fantastic, scare stories about something no one can control or change the outcome of, and a snarky back-hander about your appearance as well! 😑 (FYI, Holland and Barrett sell Naturtint dyes which avoid most of the chemical nastiness, although I did wait until second trimester to use them).

@peachgreen I know it's been a few days, but just wanted to reassure you that my movements were there, but not consistent in number and intensity until nearly week 26, then I noticed a huge difference. Now that they are hard to miss I'm using the Kicks Count app to keep track of them and to keep myself from second-guessing my own crappy memory! I'm 27 weeks, so almost 3rd trimester now...

@AmyB wow, I missed the drama yesterday! I hope baby stays put for now! Not long to wait now, at least. Your DD2 sounds very sweet, and I imagine DD1 is just as excited, if less emotional!

@doublechocolatetiffin i know, it's made me feel a bit fed up/anxious this morning and i'm really cross about it as i've been doing really well. I'm 16 weeks monday after next and really considering another one now might speak to DH.

ooh thanks for the tip @wlm i do really need to get it done but a bit skint at the moment (work for myself and am waiting on a bunch of invoices to be paid) so have been putting it off but will take a look today might be a good temporary solution.

Dancing don't feel bad - we all completely understand how hard all this is.

Emvy I think I had more of the tugging and stretching with my first, I had a little around week 4-5 but that's been it. Anything else Ive been able to confirm as wind!

brenna I too am a tad worried - she sounds bonkers. Although, you don't think there's any way she could be on the spectrum? Women are difficult to spot but I can still have social communication difficulties that don't sit right with 'neurotypicals.'

rum - hmm really 'helpful' friend. Perhaps distance for a bit! I'd noticed that brand in h and b too. What do people think of henna? I usually henna it. Tempted to go gracefully grey though!

I didn't realise Miami had a thread in bereavement. I'll see if I can find it. I think of her daily.

I'll be 8 week next week, still not heard from mw for booking. Think I'll try chasing it up today. I've also not booked any early scans etc - I can't bring myself to find out bad news (the worst would be like last time, a hb but measuring 5-6 weeks at 8, which I had due to bleeding). At the same time I'm not sure I want to get to the 12-14 week scan at the hospital and find out it's a mmc. I also am wondering about doing the harmony test, at the same time I don't want to spend 400 to be told there's no baby, so feel like I need a scan before then.... Argh. Existential scan crisis.

Tomorrow is the day I started spotting in my first mc (second was at 5 weeks). There was a hb 3 days later but I mc two days after that. However, I've still got very sore breasts, crazy dreams, constant wees and very occasional nausea (the lessening of which worries me but I think it was like this with ds) so very much hoping all is well. And extreme exhaustion. The gp last Friday was really great regarding thyroid meds so I'm sticking with her!

@ekphrasis i completely get you about the early scans every time i book one i feel like i'm setting myself up for bad news - almost inviting it which makes so sense i know! We had our harmony test at the fetal medical centre - don't know where you're based - but i'm pretty sure they said to us ignore we had bad news at the scan the bloods wouldn't be sent off so we wouldn't be charged as much. Obviously I am not saying anything is wrong at all but might help you make a decision?

i'm trying to give my friend the benefit of the doubt, she's had some pretty horrible marriage problems recently and i was worried about telling her... still no excuse of course and she knows about mmc before . I wish her words hadn't affected me but i'm really wobbly this morning - my "bump" isn't noticeable when i'm lying down and really seems to fluctuate, i know spoken of it is bloating... i'm just really cross that my positivity has been turned upside down.

@Amyb how are you getting on today? Hope everything is going smoothly.

I'm going to try and find Miami's thread too i've been thinking about her a lot.

Hi all, thanks for all your well wishes.

All quiet here, nothing to report. Discharge has calmed down and no more contractions since last night.
Didn’t sleep very well as I was constantly poking my lazy baby again to get her to move! Seems when I lay down she goes to sleep. She’s been wiggling lots this morning though.

Hope you’re all ok and have a nice day. Hope it’s not chucking it down where you all are like it is here!

@brenna24 I've been having the same thought about your stalker as @Ekphrasis... her behaviour seems consistent with being on the spectrum... it doesn't really help the situation but it might go someway to explain things.

I'm such an idiot. I have my consultant's appointment today at 12, couldn't sleep for worrying about whether he'd had the blood test results and what they would be. Turned up 40 minutes early for my appointment. And forgot my fucking notes. The reception person said he may not agree to see me without the notes. I could cry.

Hope you're getting on okay @MsJuniper and that he agreed to see you.

Oh no mrs j, I hope he agreed to see you! I hope you're ok.

juniper surely you can tell them anything in the notes? I hope it's get sorted!

I have often wondered in the past if she was on the spectrum. She is over 60 now, so no way she would have been diagnosed as a child. However, I have been very explicit with her at every point. Telling her what I really don't want her to do and explaining why and i know she is more than capable of following requests if she feels like it. She has just decided not to listen to me as her needs trump mine. In other circumstances I can deal with her well but right now I really can't take it. At this rate i may have to waste £300 and give up the classes. Which is really upsetting as i have given up everything else she could come near, i got made redundant in February and these are my one 'thing' left to save my sanity and keep my mind off the pregnancy. Except now it is now. I could cry.

I hope they saw you anyway MrsJuniper

@whyhastherumgone I've decided to book a sneaky little 16 week scan too to keep me going, the remaining 7 week stretch for me to get to the 20 week scan is too much to comprehend! I've been looking at clinics and looking for cheap and cheerful, I'm not bothered about measurements etc... like you I'd be scared I'd worry. I just want to see a heartbeat and wiggly baby. I've found a gender scan for £35 which I think I'll go for. Not bothered about finding out gender either but seems the best value scan I can find that meets my needs!

@AmyB1986 been thinking of you today. Glad things are settled today.

@Brenna24 she sounds a bit scary, and it does sound like she is on the spectrum perhaps. Like you say though, it seems a little selective. I would get some people onside if I were you, I think that's quite understandable!

@MsJuniper oh no! I really hope the consultant saw you anyway. That is gutting, especially as you were early for the appointment.

Rum, my "bump" does the same thing. After posting yesterday that I think it's stopped going as flat when I'm lying on my back, it was pretty flat this morning. We just constantly find things to worry about as a way of trying to get a handle on the lack of control I think.

I've got to the point (at this minute in time) that what will be, will be, on Monday. I can't change it. I've done everything in my power to keep my baby safe until this point. My body has done the right thing so far and I just hope it's not clinging on to a pregnancy that has failed again. All I have left is hope so I'll take that with me, along with an acceptance that I will survive whatever we are faced with.

Brenna, I'm so sorry she's ruined these classes for you. Please don't give up on them until you've spoken to your friends in the class about it - I really think having some support around you while you're there will give you strength to at least get through the classes.

Amy, glad things have settled for you. I hope your sleepy little one keeps up her wriggling until your csection so you're not worrying.

MsJuniper, really hope they still saw you!

Rum I'm hoping I can get by without a private scan. My anomaly scan isn't until I'm 22 weeks (I'm 17+4 now) so still feels like forever to wait. But I had a bit of a meltdown this week as just couldn't cope with the anxiety any more. Had convinced myself baby was dead etc etc. Kept bursting into tears at my desk at work. Was really scary, as I just didn't feel in control of anything that was happening around me. But spoke to my midwife and she told me to come in so they could listen to baby. She's said to do that any time if things get too much. So I'm hoping that (and hopefully increasing movements!!!) will help me survive the next 4+ weeks.

Brenna, I'm so so sorry she's making your life so difficult. It's completely unfair. Is she actually good enough to be in the intermediate class? If you're able, I'd tell your friends. You don't have to go into the details, but could just say that she makes you uncomfortable and you've asked her to stay away from you and your family and she's joined the classes anyway. Hopefully your friends will be able to keep you safe, and help you to feel safer. If she comes anywhere near your baby, I'd honestly be tempted to call the police, though there probably isn't a lot they can do. I hope she gets bored of Italian and leaves you to your life!!

Amy I hope your little one is staying put and staying wriggley!!

Msj did they see you? It's crazy, you can't be the only pregnant person to have ever forgotten!!