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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did you find out the sex of your baby? Why?

195 replies

Rosehyd2 · 26/06/2017 17:05

I always thought I'd want to know, that I couldn't wait, it'd make it feel so real. Now I'm pregnant I was certain I didn't want to know, in case they told me wrong. I don't have a preference but tend to get carried away day dreaming with ideas.

Now, I'm not sure if I do or don't want to know! My husband didn't but now does - we are both confused.

We have a lot of time to decide but keen to hear others experiences.

Did you or will you find out? What swayed it for you?

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Soslowmo · 28/06/2017 07:57

As I said earlier, we found out the sex with 2 dc and not with 1.

It made absolutely no difference to the excitement of the birth.

Gothbaby · 28/06/2017 08:10

I didn't care about knowing because to me it doesn't matter. However my husband really did! So that's why we asked :-) though I can imagine it being different if I had not wanted to know x

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 28/06/2017 09:28

We found out, mainly because we couldn't agree on a girl's name and wanted to know whether we needed to continue the argument! Luckily we found out we're having a boy for which we agreed a name ages ago so we avoided endless discussions and sifting through baby books for hours.

mummyretired · 28/06/2017 09:32

We didn't ask but at the ultrasound scan were shown a close-up of the genital area where her uterus was clearly visible. However, DH didn't want to know before the birth, so I didn't tell him.

Amysav · 28/06/2017 09:54

With my first, we chose not to find out. When our daughter was born, it is was a hundred times better than the best Christmas morning I had ever had. Sheer indescribable joy in that surprise.
With my second, when the time came to find out, my husband was deployed. I had the easiest pregnancy and I didn't really feel as if reality set in. We decided to find out with our reasoning being it would give us something to latch onto and to a bit of happy news. After our son was born, we later felt we had missed out on a wonderful opportunity for life's biggest surprise. I felt disappointed with myself afterwards and that I had cheated myself out of an incredible memory.
You are going to find out anyway with the birth. Think about holding off and give yourself that present. It is indescribable. My best friend found out with both of her girls. Her reasoning was that she would 'get to be happier earlier.' This is true but having done it both ways, I would definitely go with not finding out until the baby is born.

moggle · 28/06/2017 10:14

We waited for the surprise with DD, and it really was, because I had been imagining her as a boy for quite a while during the pregnancy (not preference, just one of those things that your brain does). I think most of our family thought it'd be a boy and when we got to tell them she was a girl there was lots of excitement. (and it was a good job, as we had a girls name picked since very early on but no boys name even by the time she came)

I'm now 9 weeks pregnant with twins and we are going to find out sexes at the scan this time. Just knowing it is two has been enough of a surprise and knowing the sex will enable to be a bit more organised with clothes, etc; if they are both boys we can give away the more girly stuff now and make space for the extra clothes and other things we'll need for them. I also think it'll help DD (now 2.5) to understand what's happening if she can call them her baby brother/sister or whatever. It's going to be hard enough for her to suddenly have two newborns competing for our attention. Finally we don't have any strong contenders for names this time so it is going to be difficult to choose one let alone two, so it'll help us out with this.

fruitlovingmonkey · 28/06/2017 10:22

After a mc I was scared to connect with my baby. Finding out the sex helped to picture everything going well and ending up with a healthy baby at the end of the pregnancy.
After we found out, and subsequently named the baby, I felt more of a bond. I should add that we kept the name to ourselves.

NameChange30 · 28/06/2017 10:25

Yes we kept the name to ourselves as well, even though we told people it was a boy. They were all really impatient excited to find out the name, so that was the big "reveal" when we announced the birth!

FiftyShadesOfDuckEggBlue · 28/06/2017 10:34

newbian That's exactly it! For the majority of people, the baby's biological sex is like some sort of primary category or dominant personality trait, and they fail to see how ridiculous it all sounds. When colleagues in the office were asking me "So, do you know what you're having??", I'd reply with "A narrow-headed baby!" (based on the 20-week scan measurements).

NameChange30 · 28/06/2017 10:35

Fifty
That phrase annoys me too! The pedant in me was always tempted to answer "Yes, a BABY!"

CuppaSarah · 28/06/2017 10:36

Found out with both of mine, but if I was lucky enough to have a third I wouldn't find out, that way DD was my first girl DS my first Boy and DC3 my first surprise. Yes it's very twee and no I don't care.

MERLYPUSSEDOFF · 28/06/2017 10:46

I did not want to find out about non-id twins as DH's brother has a girl and SIL would've filled my head with shit had there been a girl in there somewhere. I knew either way that smaller twin would have middle name of recently deceased DN (regardless of sex).

I had to have intensive foetal abnormality scans but made it absolutely clear I did not want to know the sex but did want to know if they were expected to be affected by my medication and be born with limb deformities etc.

My OH is Asian, so was the sonographer, and he nearly let slip by saying that OH would be pleased about the babies sex - males taking the surname forward. They were boys but they have my surname which pissed SIL off no end. 9 years on she still has snide digs.

It is a personal choice and I can understand why people wanted to know. WE didn't.

Mulledwine1 · 28/06/2017 12:38

I also like to buy more than just gender neutral clothing and other baby buys

DS was smaller than we expected him to be so DH had to go out and buy some smaller size babygros on the day he was born anyway.

Do the radiographers ever get it wrong or are scanning techniques too sophisticated these days?

glastogal · 28/06/2017 13:47

We chose to take our surprise at 16 weeks rather than 40.. I don't think it will have ruined anything. I still expect to be surprised/shocked by the birth of my son. There will be lots of new things to marvel at and enjoy the day he arrives! We are keeping the knowledge of his sex to ourselves as we had so much intervention to create him - it's lovely to have this piece of info just for us (also, I don't want my house filling up with stereotyped clothes and toys.. I know it will happen but I want to delay as long as possible!!)

seafoodeatit · 28/06/2017 14:04

We wanted to know! too excited to wait and we knew a name would take months. We're going to have a small age gap so have a lot of baby things already but we wanted to know if we'd need new clothes.

TheNaze73 · 28/06/2017 14:07

No. Really didn't want anything to take away from the moment at the birth. Both of us firmly didn't want to know.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 28/06/2017 16:02

We weren't allowed to know with the first two DCs - something about people choosing to terminate if it was the wrong one

With DC3 we were given the choice, but I didn't want to know. I preferred the surprise, although by the time she popped out I was too tired to really care!

We used the same unisex clothes for all 3 DCs and then bought some specific more girly bits once DD was born, although I'm not a very 'pink' person and preferred to see her in red and black/white outfits as she looked a bit wishy washy in pink! People kept buying her really girly stuff but she is now a moody pre-teen, in her brothers' hand-me-down camo gear and rock band t-shirts, so it really doesn't make any difference!

Madonna9 · 28/06/2017 16:07

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I wanted to know, made it more real for me. And I didn't want to have to come up with twice as many name options.
It also made it a lot easier with preparing and shopping.

Saz626 · 28/06/2017 20:48

With our first we didn't find out and really enjoyed the anticipation of not knowing if we was getting a little girl or boy. Turns out we was to have a little girl!! The moment was priceless and I'd love a surprise all over again but I'm currently pregnant with my second baby and thinking that I'll most probably find out this time round. I want to experience both ways.

missadasmith · 28/06/2017 21:20

we found it out both times - I just wanted to know. That's all. I don't get the 'surprise' argument. Even with knowing the sex there was so much to discover right after birth - size, looks, hair, weight etc... it's not as if the absence or presence of a penis is the only surprising bit to discover in a newborn

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