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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did you find out the sex of your baby? Why?

195 replies

Rosehyd2 · 26/06/2017 17:05

I always thought I'd want to know, that I couldn't wait, it'd make it feel so real. Now I'm pregnant I was certain I didn't want to know, in case they told me wrong. I don't have a preference but tend to get carried away day dreaming with ideas.

Now, I'm not sure if I do or don't want to know! My husband didn't but now does - we are both confused.

We have a lot of time to decide but keen to hear others experiences.

Did you or will you find out? What swayed it for you?

OP posts:

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TittyGolightly · 27/06/2017 07:26

Halved the number of arguments about names.

TittyGolightly · 27/06/2017 07:27

it does help with organisation of baby stuff

How?

Soslowmo · 27/06/2017 07:35

We found out with dc1 (girl) as we were young and curious...we didn't find out with dc2 (boy) as we were happy and wait and see. We did find out with dc3 (girl) as it helped with organisation - I was able to organise the bedrooms so that eventually the 2 girls would share and also sort the clothes out from the loft. The boy clothes went in to bags and were given away shortly after dc3 was born.

Ledkr · 27/06/2017 07:41

Only with number 5 as I had a very early scan in the FMC and was able to know at 11 weeks. I was so relieved all was well that we said yes to knowing the gender.

I never found out with the previous 4 and had 3 boys and a girl. I was convinced. She was another boy which was great, had name picked out, fairly boyish clothes etc. My 3 sons were present for the birth so it was such a surprise when they got a sister, I literally couldn't believe it and had to keep looking.
Changing her nappy was a shock for days

needsomesunshineandwine · 27/06/2017 07:51

I wanted to know what I was buying.

Part of me wishes I just waited to birth to see baby though, probably more this time as it's my last.

Vintageproblem · 27/06/2017 07:55

We didn't want to know. I had to go for a scan at 38 weeks as baby was huge apparently.

The sonographer turned the screen to me and showed me an image of a pair of testicles!

After the scan DH met me and I burst into tears!

gunting · 27/06/2017 07:57

I did. My pregnancy was a huge surprise so I felt like I needed to know who was living in me to help me bond with my son. I didn't regret finding out and we came up with a name before he was born that we both loved.

RandomUsernameHere · 27/06/2017 07:59

I didn't find out, even though DH wanted to. It's a lovely surprise whether you find out before or after but for me it just felt a bit more special to wait.

newbian · 27/06/2017 08:03

TittyGolightly It definitely helps to organize if not a first child. I have DD already so when I know the gender of the current baby I can do a clear out of all the pink crap lovely clothes we were given by friends and relatives to make room for the new baby's stuff.

hoddtastic · 27/06/2017 08:50

not for any of them, i've guessed correctly DC 2 and 3 though. I like DH telling me what we've got, I like the excitement of not knowing.
It really is the one surprise that you get no influence over and is exciting (to me) I don't think anyone is that busy that they can't waste a bit of time thinking up a name for either sex are they?
i also confess i am never as excited knowing what the sex of the baby due is when friends and family are pregnant, it's less 'exciting' when all there is to find out is the weight / if it's bald or not.

NameChange30 · 27/06/2017 08:56

I think the most exciting thing is meeting the baby or seeing a photo and seeing what he or she looks like. Not the sex.

Sierra259 · 27/06/2017 10:03

TittyGolightly if you have a child of a different sex to the first and don't need to hang on to certain stuff? Or if people are offering you second hand baby things and you don't want to accept a load of dresses and end up having a boy? Or if you want to decorate baby's room blue/pink/whatever? Lots of reasons.

EssentialHummus · 27/06/2017 10:12

had a preference and I agreed with the perceived wisdom that it makes it easier to come to terms with it if you find out beforehand

Same here. Plus I'm married to the most indecisive man in the country and we need all the time we can get to agree on names.

TittyGolightly · 27/06/2017 10:59

Ah, yes. Terrible things happen to baby boys dressed in pink and girls in blue. Silly me.

newbian · 27/06/2017 11:06

TittyGolightly I bought gender neutral clothing. I was gifted piles and piles of pink stuff. And then asked if DD was wearing them. If it's a DS this time then I can absolutely get rid of all of it without having to endure requests for pictures of said child in a frilly dress.

I'd also love to hear if you have in fact put a boy in a dress and frilly headband as a means to reuse clothing or if you just enjoy acting a bit superior on this issue.

NameChange30 · 27/06/2017 11:12

I hate the obsessive gendering of colours and clothes for babies, but I would draw the line at putting DS in pale pink, flowers and hearts, frilly things and dresses.

I still make the effort to buy clothes that are as neutral as possible, though. It's hard but not impossible to find them. You don't have to know the baby's sex in order to prepare.

Oysterbabe · 27/06/2017 11:13

We didn't find out last time and won't this time. I liked finding out at the birth and that DH was the one to tell me.
It would help a bit if we knew this time in that we could start getting rid of DD's clothes that are too girly if it's a boy but storing them a bit longer doesn't matter. At least we already have loads of gender neutral newborn stuff from not finding out the first time. We've already had a boys name chosen from last time and have decided on a girls' name too.

Erinys · 27/06/2017 11:24

I hate surprises. I think we might not have bothered but when DH asked the sonographer if we could find out, we were told our NHS Trust doesn't divulge and that annoyed me for some irrational reason.

Booked a private scan the following day.

Really glad we did as it turned out. I thought I was having a girl and was already eyeing up half of Monsoon's stock. Turned out we were having a boy.

tuxedocat · 27/06/2017 11:25

I think it's just personal preference. I've just found out we are expecting a boy, as DH was sure it was a girl (along with everyone else!) I've had zero symptoms all pregnancy so for me it feels more real that I can refer to baby as 'he' and know as much as I can!

The pure surprise of finding out at the scan (I had no idea either way) was amazing in itself to me. I couldn't believe it was a boy! Think I was open mouthed with shock - So that excitiement was great to share with our families before baby is even here. Now, I can't wait to meet him - that is is enough to spur me through labour.

MinorRSole · 27/06/2017 11:33

I didn't find out, just never wanted to but can't articulate why really. Tradition maybe. I did guess correctly for each one, including the twins. I don't know if my delight was connected to their gender or just being right! suspect it's the latter

BarbieBrightSide · 27/06/2017 11:38

I did with dc1 because DH was keen to know. DC2 was twins, so we wanted to know whether we could get rid of older age clothes or not.

I also go told that it was wrong to find out etc - but I think it is a personal decision. One fairly religious friend said she felt it was 'against Gods wishes' because we shouldn't know what is happening inside - but she was happy to have all the health scans, which I felt made her a bit hypocritical!

That said, whether you know or not, you still haven't met your baby until they are born! If other people want it to be a surprise for them, don't tell them!

Sierra259 · 27/06/2017 11:45

Not sure who your last comment was aimed at TittyGolightly but people were just responding to your question about how finding out baby's sex might help you get organised. I used gender neutral clothes as much as possible, but I still wouldn't put a baby boy in a dress! Some people might want to have a girly pink room for their new DD, that's up to them, even if it's not to your (or my incidentally) taste. Of course you don't have to know the baby's sex to prepare, but for some people that works.

choccybiscuit · 27/06/2017 11:45

I decided on a suprise and im do pleased i did! I was torn at first butonce i got past the temptation of the 20 week scan, it was easy.
I just bought a few neutral things and bought more once the baby was born and i knew what it was.
Best decision i ever made.

amousehaseatenmypaddlingpool · 27/06/2017 11:48

I didn't really but DH was desperate. It wasn't a big deal really. You're going to have plenty of surprises on the big day, 'baby has so much hair!' 'I pooed in the pool!' 'Gas and air rocks!' 'Fuck, my waters!' Etc, knowing the gender doesn't take too much from the experience.

Good luck and congrats OP!

beachdream · 27/06/2017 11:48

I did not either time. I didn't want to imagine the baby or project any preconceptions on him/her.
It was lovely both times to find out as she then he were born!

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