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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did you find out the sex of your baby? Why?

195 replies

Rosehyd2 · 26/06/2017 17:05

I always thought I'd want to know, that I couldn't wait, it'd make it feel so real. Now I'm pregnant I was certain I didn't want to know, in case they told me wrong. I don't have a preference but tend to get carried away day dreaming with ideas.

Now, I'm not sure if I do or don't want to know! My husband didn't but now does - we are both confused.

We have a lot of time to decide but keen to hear others experiences.

Did you or will you find out? What swayed it for you?

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mrsBeverleygoldberg · 26/06/2017 19:41

So I knew if I was having a boy or girl.

MelinaMercury · 26/06/2017 20:05

No, we didn't with either pregnancy. Partly because we didn't want to but also because our NHS trust has a "don't ask because we won't tell" policy at scans so it would've meant paying over £100 privately which I didn't see the point in.

I did like that DH was the first to "know" and he was the one to tell me :)

TwoDogs9 · 26/06/2017 20:06

No we didn't find out and I don't regret doing it that way at all. If we're lucky enough to have a second, we'll keep it as a surprise too.

Lemondrop99 · 26/06/2017 20:15

Yes, we found out and it was the right choice for us.

We both had a mild preference for a girl, so we wanted time to adjust mentally if it's a boy (which he is! ).

DH didn't want to waste time and effort selecting names for a sex we would use

I feel it's helped me feel better prepared in general and bond with my bump.

Dontgiveaflyingfuck · 26/06/2017 20:20

Dd1 not as i just didn"t care - i was happy i was having a baby, gender didn't matter.

Dc2 i did as I had AND and was advised to find out the gender and name the baby. It did really help with the AND.

Dd3 we found out as dd1 was threatening to leave home if it was a boy and we wanted time to help her adjust when we weren't busy with a newborn. Dd3 was obligingly female which solved that problem

MyBreadIsEggy · 26/06/2017 20:20

I found out the first time because I was impatient....then went and bought everything in pink when we found out she was a girl, like a pair of fucking idiots
Lo and behold, fell pregnant again when she was 8 months old so wanted to know the sex to see if I could keep and reuse all the girls clothes I had kept. Obviously had a boy second time
So I sold all the pink stuff and bought mostly neutral colours instead - actually had potential future babies in mind this time around!

ChickenBhuna · 26/06/2017 20:28

I didn't find out with my first two. My third pregnancy ended shortly after 20 weeks due to a fatal diagnoses at the anomaly scan. I'm now on my fourth pregnancy and I know what I'm having because I asked the sonogragher to tell us everything she saw (we were petrified we would lose another baby to the same condition). She said she could see boy bits as well as everything looking great. That's really the only reason we know the gender, we'd have been thrilled either way to be honest.

Bobbiepin · 26/06/2017 20:32

DH effectively blackmailed me. Said he didn't want to discuss names until he knew what he was naming. I didn't want to know at the start but came around to the idea. Also I convinved myself I'm having a girl and think I may have been a bit upset to find out I was wrong at the birth (would have been just as happy with a boy but I'd accidently already referring to baby 'she'). I'm not buying pink clothing etc and our nursery is yellow and turquoise I do want to buy a frilly pink tutu at some point though!

LadySpratt · 26/06/2017 20:37

We hadn't even considered knowing or not knowing the sex of the baby at the scan. I was so focussed on the images, hoping that they were normal, I blurted out "It's a BOY!" before the registrar had a chance to even ask if we wanted to know. Up until that point my husband had hoped that we'd be having a girl (for sentimental reasons), but the only person that was miffed was the doctor!!
With hindsight I used to spend delightful journeys on the tube dreaming of names, so I'm pleased I knew.

LadySpratt · 26/06/2017 20:39

And if I were ever to go through it again - and I won't - I would want to know.
Never thought I'd be sentimental, but it is nice knowing you can really prepare for the baby.
God I'm getting broody. No!

MooMooTheFirst · 26/06/2017 20:45

I found out with my DS. It was important to me because I found myself unexpectedly pregnant with a man I was seeing very casually who desperately didn't want a baby and wasn't in love with me. I felt that I would be able to kick start the bond between DS and DP if we could put a face to a name if that makes sense? I suppose it also helped me bond with him a bit more.

Even though the three of us are a happy little family now, id find out again!

OhOurBilly · 26/06/2017 22:29

Didn't find out because I was scared if I knew then I wouldn't bond, preconceptions etc. Whereas being presented with my flesh and blood after giving birth I knew I'd be besotted regardless. I'm glad I did it this way. It was the right choice for me, even though DH was desperate to find out. We couldn't have had him find out and not me as he's about as subtle as a house brick through a glass window and would have dropped a bollock within about 20 minutes of having found out.

Also my dad insisted it wasn't the done thing to find out, then when we got home from the anomaly scan "what are you having then?" Same at the 3d scan we had privately!

Wooooo · 26/06/2017 23:08

We thought it would be an amazing thing to look forward to on the day of the birth, and it was. As soon as my husband saw my son's head he said 'It's a boy!', he could just tell from his face, before we saw the rest of him. I will never forget that, it was magical, that is how we met him.

As for being prepared, babies grow so fast you don't need sex-specific clothes for a newborn. White stuff is perfect (and easy to wash together).

Congratulations!

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 26/06/2017 23:27

I was totally and utterly convinced I was having a boy - no preference, just a very strong feeling. I needed to know if I was wrong because it would have thrown me quite a bit. I kept referring to the baby as 'he' and if it had turned out it was a 'she' it would have been an adjustment. As it turned out, I was right!

Also, dh and I do not see eye to eye on the whole naming process - finding out the sex cut the number of arguments by 50%!

SarahBeeney · 26/06/2017 23:42

Found out with 1st pregnancy as it was unplanned and I just needed to know!
With my 2nd I was committed to not finding out!I had 8 growth scans including on my due date and managed to not find out. I have to say having a surprise is amazing!

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 27/06/2017 00:35

I chose to find out. No reason other than pure nosiness.

tinhead · 27/06/2017 00:40

Couldn't see any reason not to. What's the point of not knowing?

Downyonder · 27/06/2017 00:51

I didn't find out with either of mine. My other family members did. So when their DC were born, it was just a case of " oh fab... baby A is here..., are they ok" ..... mine were a total surprise. All DC were amazing news, but mine were a surprise.... if you know what I mean.

Oddsocksforeveryone · 27/06/2017 01:02

Ds1 I can't remember, but I enjoyed knowing. We had miscarried at 10 weeks the year before so I was nervous.
Ds2 had his bits on display the minute the scan came up at 20 weeks.
Dd1 we needed to buy everything again, but also because I was convinced I was having a boy and everyone else thought girl. I really didn't believe and even bought boys clothes. I think if we'd waited and they'd handed me a girl I would have been in shock. Also for ds1&2 to help them bond.
Ds3 I actually had a thread on here about it. I didn't want to know, dh did. But since we were and to a certain extent still are in denial as he was a surprise blessing we thought it would help us bond. Plus we now need to buy baby boy things.

newbian · 27/06/2017 05:25

I found out with DD and will find out with this one too. It's not a piece of information that is meaningful to me as a "surprise." It's a 50/50 chance of being male or female, how surprised can one really be?

I have to admit being confused by people who get 3D/4D scans but then don't want to know gender. You want a surprise about your baby's bits but are OK seeing the full contours of their face in utero? Doesn't really make sense to me.

SuperBeagle · 27/06/2017 05:31

I didn't with any of my four pregnancies.

No reason. I just didn't feel the inclination to find out at the time and was content waiting and using the "not knowing" as motivation to get through the hardest bits of labour. I chose not to have any 4D scans for that reason too. I wanted to keep it as much of a surprise as possible.

BalloonDinosaur · 27/06/2017 06:59

I was desperate to know a soon as I found out I was pregnant. Waiting until 20wks was a nightmare!

We also both had a pretty strong preference, opposite ways sadly. I was so happy/relieved when the sonographer said he was a boy, DP was pretty disappointed (I don't think me cheering helped) but he had time to come to terms with it and is now besotted with our 5mo DS.

Confuseddot · 27/06/2017 07:03

I always wanted a surprise. Other half wanted to know. I then started shopping neutral stuff and realised there isn't a whole lot of it! Kept referring baby to it. Found out the sex and now I can say she. I feel I've bonded more with her now and it's so much easier to shop lol x

SoupDragon · 27/06/2017 07:13

It's still a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks, 37 weeks or at birth. There really is no greater surprise than looking at your baby for the first time and finding out what they look like.

We didn't tell anyone what sex DD was. I didn't even tell XH what DS2 was (accidental discovery at growth scan) or that I even knew until after he was born.

Each to their own! It's always lovely however you find out :)

Sierra259 · 27/06/2017 07:20

We didn't find out with either of ours. I wanted to have that extra surprise to look forward to through late pregnancy and labour. A friend once likened it to opening your Christmas presents early - you're still chuffed with what's inside but for some people it takes some of the magic out of Christmas day itself. I loved not finding out and I would do the same with any future DC.

I completely understand why some people like to find out though. You still get your surprise, just at a different point in the pregnancy and it does help with organisation of baby stuff. There's no best way, just what's right for you.

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