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Original poster

Did you find out the sex of your baby? Why?

195 replies

Rosehyd2 · 26/06/2017 17:05

I always thought I'd want to know, that I couldn't wait, it'd make it feel so real. Now I'm pregnant I was certain I didn't want to know, in case they told me wrong. I don't have a preference but tend to get carried away day dreaming with ideas.

Now, I'm not sure if I do or don't want to know! My husband didn't but now does - we are both confused.

We have a lot of time to decide but keen to hear others experiences.

Did you or will you find out? What swayed it for you?

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eternalopt · 26/06/2017 18:13

I didnt found out with either of mine. I remembered a friend telling me that towards the end of her very long labour when energy was fading, the midwife said to her "cmon. Let's find out if it's about or a girl" and that spurred her on, and I liked the excitement not knowing. took away some of the dread of the impending birth as I was super nervous about that. If I had another, I wouldn't find out as, with two boys already, I know I'd find a girl a bit more of a novelty and I'd be afraid I'd feel a pang of disappointment if they told me it was a boy, whereas I don't think I could feel any disappointment as they place a baby in my arms and tell me. It just depends on your personality in that respect. No right answer.

Gracie20 · 26/06/2017 18:16

I didn't find out. I didn't mind and also knowing your child's gender doesn't actually mean you know anything about what they will be like. Had a girl. Was delighted but would have been either way as long as baby was healthy.

DuggeeHugs · 26/06/2017 18:23

We didn't find out last time. It was great not knowing - I ended up on the ward for 5 days before having an EMCS so all the midwives were curious too as most people find out beforehand. In theatre the staff were great and shared in the excitement of us finding out when we met DS for the first time. This is why we're waiting again this time Smile

DakotaFanny · 26/06/2017 18:28

Yes. First time it was so exciting waiting for name not just baby. It felt like they were already prt of the family. Second time because I didn't want to be disappointed at birth and I knew I would be.

100% the right thing for us to do, but totally get why you'd wait. I probably would if I had another because it wouldn't matter either way.

The only argument I ever heard against it that pissed me off was "it makes it worth pushing"...like waiting to meet the named, gendered baby you had been carrying for nine months wasn't really worth the bother!!

allegretto · 26/06/2017 18:29

I just wanted to know!

Pickerel · 26/06/2017 18:35

We found out with all ours. No particular reason really - we just liked the idea of knowing!

mrsbumblebees · 26/06/2017 18:35

There is definitely no right or wrong answer, it is a personal choice for everyone Smile

We aren't finding out, mainly because I've just always imagined finding out when they are born, and it felt a bit like sneaking a look at my Christmas presents to find out early!! And it will be something to look forward to after the birth! I also like the idea of it being a surprise for friends and family too when we announce the birth - but I agree with comments that whenever you find out it will still be a surprise.

I can totally understand why people want to find out, to help with the planning, to narrow down names, to prepare themselves mentally (especially if they have a preference for one or the other) and to start visualising the baby a bit more etc..., but equally I don't think there are any negatives to not finding out, I certainly haven't bonded with my baby any less because I don't know the gender!

Idratherhaveacupoftea · 26/06/2017 18:42

I'm old, no such things as scans in my day. We all had to wait, I think it's part of the excitement.

silkpyjamasallday · 26/06/2017 18:47

DP and I had decided we didn't want to know, but changed our minds at the 20 week scan. His DM was diagnosed with cancer just before the scan and sadly passed away under a month after diagnosis so I'm really glad we did find out as dd is named after her mother which she knew before she passed and it meant a lot to her. I'd find out again if we have another (although I'm not planning to due to horrendous 40 weeks of HG) as it was nice to be able to imagine them as a little person rather than just a kicking tummy gremlin Smile

shamoffour · 26/06/2017 18:48

I have 4 dc and didn't find out with the first 3. I found out with number 4 but didn't tell anyone not even dp.
Obviously the most important thing was a healthy baby but
I found out because I had a tiny preference and if it wasn't the sex I was hoping for I wanted to know and get my head round it. I didn't want to feel even an ounce of disappointment when s/he was born.
I already had 2 girls and a 12 month old baby boy so I was hoping for a brother for him. If it had been another girl that would have been fine but I just needed to know.

ifigoup · 26/06/2017 18:55

I had a strong preference (which I know I shouldn't have, but I did), and wanted to give myself time to come to terms with it if the baby was the "wrong" one. It was, but now DC is here, it doesn't matter at all.

If I have another I won't have a preference so wouldn't find out because of that, but I am so impatient I imagine I would crack and want to know long before giving birth just out of pure nosiness.

peachgreen · 26/06/2017 18:59

I want to know. I have a slight preference at this point and I don't want to feel even momentarily disappointed on the day I give birth. My mum wanted a second girl after me and when they told her my brother was a boy she felt disappointed for a moment - he became very ill and she's felt guilty for it all of her life. Obviously, logically she knows it wasn't her fault but it's always stayed with me.

AgentCooper · 26/06/2017 19:06

I never thought I would want to know but am now 24 weeks and expecting a wee boy. I suffer from an anxiety disorder and the first 12 weeks were very hard - lots of bleeding and worries. When we had a scan at 16 weeks I wanted to know so this wee baby would finally start to feel real, as I could never allow myself to believe that he was. So that was my reason - and it means I can use the boy's name we've chosen when I talk to my bump.

Longhairmightcare · 26/06/2017 19:07

I didn't with the first, we were going to but changed our minds last minute. Can't put my finger on why. I decided I 'knew' it was a girl anyway (and it was 50/50 chance hey Grin) so I do forget that we actually didn't find out, and only knew for sure at the birth.

Second child, we found out for 2 reasons:
To prepare DD for sibling, esp as she was convinced she was getting a brother (she wasn't)
And
Practicalities, by this time we had a shed load of girl's clothes and wanted to know whether it was going to the local baby sale or being kept!

MadisonAvenue · 26/06/2017 19:09

I wanted to know, my husband didn't but I couldn't find out anyway. The hospital had a policy of not revealing the sex of babies due to girls being aborted by some cultures which favour sons.

actino · 26/06/2017 19:10

I am pregnant with my first and we are not finding out. We really want the surprise and genuinely have no preference.

I also don't want others (particularly extended family members) stereotyping my child before it's even born.

MiaowTheCat · 26/06/2017 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 26/06/2017 19:15

I've

  1. not found out
  2. found out by accident a few days before he was born and
  3. found out by choice.

It made precisely zero difference to the surprise of meeting my baby for the first time.

DebsOctBaby · 26/06/2017 19:17

I have found out as I found the weeks going slow and I'm so impatient. Plus we paid for a private scan and found the whole experience really special and a time for me and OH to have a few tears (we were desperate for a girl, we are lucky as it's happened). We feel we are having lots of special days this way as her birth will be wonderful as well :-)

Dede124 · 26/06/2017 19:20

It's helped me bond with my baby as I was struggling with that. It just became more real for us I suppose.

Maybe I wouldn't find out with my second but for my first I just want to feel organised and enjoy buying things I love looking at girly things now :)

ColourfulOrangex · 26/06/2017 19:25

I did because I'm impatient with my DS6 and then I did with this one which is due next month as my son desperately wanted to know if he was getting a sister - he is

I have got a lot of gender neutral items but I have also got a few pink bits, I find most gender neutral things look either more boy or more girl - this may just be me

I also need to be prepared and organised and I could never of focused on a girls and boys name when I struggle enough picking one GrinBlush

GinSwigmore · 26/06/2017 19:26

I did with all of mine because the first had a false positive so needed more detailed scan and latter pregnancies were with amnio. At least 2/3 the doctor gave it away. I liked being able to choose names in advance though and prepare expectations of family members with preferences (I had none).

HelsinkiLights · 26/06/2017 19:28

I wanted to know if I was right & I was. Plus I was very excited!

DioneTheDiabolist · 26/06/2017 19:32

I wanted to know because I am very nosy.Grin

clown503 · 26/06/2017 19:35

I wanted to find out as soon as possible! Too impatient to wait until my baby arrived Grin I also wanted to see if I was right in my assumption it was going to be a boy, which was right. I then had plenty of time to get used to the idea and then we could start thinking of names. It still took until 3 days after he was born to think and agree on a name for him Smile

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