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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did you find out the sex of your baby? Why?

195 replies

Rosehyd2 · 26/06/2017 17:05

I always thought I'd want to know, that I couldn't wait, it'd make it feel so real. Now I'm pregnant I was certain I didn't want to know, in case they told me wrong. I don't have a preference but tend to get carried away day dreaming with ideas.

Now, I'm not sure if I do or don't want to know! My husband didn't but now does - we are both confused.

We have a lot of time to decide but keen to hear others experiences.

Did you or will you find out? What swayed it for you?

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RainyDayBear · 27/06/2017 11:54

We found out as we wanted to know - I don't regret it as I think knowing that DD was a little girl helped us picture life with her and bond a bit more knowing that. I'll find out again this time round.

Additionally, my logic was that childbirth would be enough of a surprise (I was right). Quite frankly I remember being shocked there was actually a baby! Don't think I needed the additional gender surprise on top of that!

Iseehotpeople · 27/06/2017 11:54

I will never understand why people think it spoils the surprise. It's a surprise whenever you find out!

Also, trust me, giving birth is...um...surprising enough without the gender reveal. It won't feel like an anti-climax just because you already knew the sex. It's definitely a day to remember.

Iseehotpeople · 27/06/2017 11:59

A friend once likened it to opening your Christmas presents early - you're still chuffed with what's inside but for some people it takes some of the magic out of Christmas day itself

What absolute rubbish. I'm willing to bet my house that no woman in the history of child-birthing has ever felt the event was "less magical" (your word not mine) because she already knew the gender.

MTBMummy · 27/06/2017 12:11

DD lay with her legs splayed for her ultrasound, so there was little option not to know, even the sonographer laughed and said "well I hope you weren't planning on not finding out the sex" When I was pg with DS i had to find out, we had kept all of DD's stuff lots of gorgeous pink dresses (thanks to relatives and gifts) so I didn't want to start with all the wrong gear. That said DS was also fairly obvious in the scan.

Alcea · 27/06/2017 12:13

Didn't find out on the first 2. Found out on #3.
#2 was an EMCS and was taken away from me after the birth, so I never even really got to enjoy the 'it's a girl' reveal. All I cared about was that she was breathing, and ok. With no.3, I could be happy about knowing he was a boy, and I didn't have to keep any of dd's baby clothes for him.

I would definitely find out if we have another. It's an even better surprise on the day of the gender scan, because you're not exhausted after childbirth or dealing with other issues.

wherethewildrosesgrow · 27/06/2017 12:26

no we didn't find out with any of ours, for me it takes the magic away,, I always feel a bit cheated when people I know have a baby and we already know the gender & name and the date its going to be born (if its a planned section), of course having a baby is still very special, but I love the not knowing part, with my first two, I cradled the babies for about half an hour before I thought to check to see the gender

ethelfleda · 27/06/2017 12:41

We found out yesterday we are expecting a boy. I always wanted to find out as it helps me with bonding and imagining etc. Plus I think as others have said - I am expecting child birth to be enough of a surprise as it is!

Underparmummy · 27/06/2017 12:54

Surprise whether you find out at scan or birth!

I always found out because:

It made the scan a lovely experience in itself
It made name discussions much easier
It made pre birth baby purchases either (Im not a yellow or green fan!)
It made it all seem more 'real'
With second and third ones really helped the older siblings understand and prepare

Underparmummy · 27/06/2017 12:55

either = easier

Underparmummy · 27/06/2017 12:56

Knew you were waiting for that response so you could have a 'pounce' titty. Yawn.

GetAHaircutCarl · 27/06/2017 13:02

I think I'd have not bothered if I'd been having a singleton but I was cooking twins so I felt like I needed the prep!

larry55 · 27/06/2017 13:11

I had my youngest child at the age of 40 so I had an amnio so I was asked if I wanted to know the sex. This was 25 years ago and very few people would have known the sex of their baby. Although the result gave a 99.9% chance of me having a dd I still took gender neutral clothes into hospital because I was convinced I would be the 0.1%!

I decided to find out because I had two nearly adult ds and also I knew a midwife at the hospital and felt that if she knew we should know.

Dd is now expecting her first dc and knows that she is having a boy as they wanted to know in advance

Greatballs · 27/06/2017 13:14

I didn't find out with either of mine. I enjoyed the not-knowing. Somehow it seemed more fun that way...
But then I'm not a super organised, well prepared sort

MrsD79 · 27/06/2017 13:14

Cus I wanted to know what was comming out of their! The labour pains and pushing were all the damn surprises i needed!

Mulledwine1 · 27/06/2017 13:26

When I had ds the hospital had a policy of not telling people. I don't know if that's still the case.

I think it can make a difference if you really really want a baby of one sex and you find out at 20 weeks it's the other, you might be really disappointed and you've still got 20 weeks to go with that disappointment. Whereas I think once you've gone through labour you really don't care anymore, you're just glad to have a healthy live child.

We are all different, it suits some people to know and others prefer not to.

Does it matter?

jellypi3 · 27/06/2017 13:36

We found out.

At the end of the day it was still a surprise. It was just 20 weeks early and meant we could prepare for her by choosing names. I'm going to find out with this one too.

You don't have to share the sex with others if you it to remain a secret. I tried and failed at that (my telling someone we were only looking at girls names - what an idiot) but we did keep the name secret which was a nice 'us' thing to have.

2ducks2ducklings · 27/06/2017 13:37

I did. I changed my mind last minute to do so. We had so many girls names in mind and not one boys names so I felt like I'd need to know to have a few weeks to focus on trying to find a boys name.
We're having a boy and still have no name!
Also, I think it helped to help our two children get used to the idea. Although, my son was adamant he wanted a brother but now he's adamant he doesn't so we're in for an interesting 19 weeks!

Elmo230885 · 27/06/2017 13:37

We didn't find out. I wanted to find out when the baby (end up she) was born rather than in the sonographer's office and don't like the ' gender reveal' parties. Whenever people asked what the baby was they were pleased we didn't know and thought it was sweet. As I went to 42 weeks our families were desperate to know, especially as she is the first grandchild on my side of the family. Also I didn't want a house full to the brim of either blue or pink prior to birth. Finding out at the birth made the very long induced birth a little better.

Each to their own, any baby is special x

Wonderflonium · 27/06/2017 13:39

I didn't want to know but my husband did. We had the 20 week scan and we asked the midwife to write down the sex, so if we changed our mind we could look.

It was too tempting! He looked and then he was teasing me relentlessly because he knew something I didn't know. I'd had a feeling it was a girl the whole time.

I asked "Is it a girl?" and he said "YES" and I said "Is it a boy?" fully expecting him to say "YES" to continue the teasing but he said "NO" and that's how I found out.

I did ask.

I didn't want to have to deal with my colleagues telling me that girls were or boys were for the next 20 weeks, so I just lied to everyone and said I had no idea. I also wasn't crazy about getting wall to wall pink stuff as presents (but this just meant that my loved ones waited until the announcement to select pink gifts for the baby)

Oldraver · 27/06/2017 13:44

I found out with all of mine. I had very difficult pregnancies and it was something 'nice' to look forward to as so many of my scans and appointments revolved around potential issues.

I had a 4D (is it 3D/4D?) scan the last time time for a similar reason..something for me to look forward to.

lifetothefull · 27/06/2017 13:50

I didn't find out. I find I am more excited by arrival of friends' babies when I don't know the sex beforehand. Dds are genuinely interested to know what their name would have been if they'd been boys. It's nice to announce 'It's a boy / girl'. Not very strong arguments, just a personal preference.
I know people who know, but don't announce. I even knew one couple where dad found out but not mum.

Falconhoof1 · 27/06/2017 14:14

I didn't know for my first. Back then I was only offered 1 early scan at hospital and didn't have money for private. Second time, still only 1 scan offered but I saw an advertisement for 4d scan so went for it. I think the first birth was more special in some ways as it was a surprise but the 4d scan was also great and I have a dvd of my DS in the womb!

Sierra259 · 27/06/2017 14:21

Ffs Isee I was quite clear in my post that I knew different people would have different feelings about the whole thing, and when they personally felt the most surprising time would be. I liked the delayed finding out, others don't. Nowhere did I imply that my choice was the best one for anyone else. You know what? It really doesn't fucking matter as long as you respect other people's reasons.

Ifyouthinkiwillsleepyoudream · 27/06/2017 14:24

We didn't want to know. I thought the excitement of discovering the sex would only add to the general excitement when baby arrived, and also the anticipation would help me get through labour. And it did! We got a wonderful DS and I would be equally thrilled with either sex

banannabreadforme · 27/06/2017 14:26

We didn't with first. Had loads of problems during birth, we ended up being whisked off into surgery. I was unconscious, baby taken to ICU. When I came round I had to ask a nurse what kind of a baby it was. (We are all fine now).
Did with second. It still upsets me now I had to ask

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