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Original poster

Did you find out the sex of your baby? Why?

195 replies

Rosehyd2 · 26/06/2017 17:05

I always thought I'd want to know, that I couldn't wait, it'd make it feel so real. Now I'm pregnant I was certain I didn't want to know, in case they told me wrong. I don't have a preference but tend to get carried away day dreaming with ideas.

Now, I'm not sure if I do or don't want to know! My husband didn't but now does - we are both confused.

We have a lot of time to decide but keen to hear others experiences.

Did you or will you find out? What swayed it for you?

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PinkHeart5911 · 27/06/2017 14:27

With my 2 dc Me & dh were too excited to wait. I am currently expecting my 3rd and we will find out with this little one too.

The baby is in my body so I think I had the right to know if it was a boy or girl

NameChange30 · 27/06/2017 14:28

I don't understand the argument about motivation in labour. I knew I was having a boy but I was super motivated! I was excited to go into labour in the first place (didn't enjoy pregnancy and went overdue so I was sick of waiting), excited to meet my baby, and when it came to the pushing phase I was so bloody relieved it was nearly over! I was delighted to be "allowed" to push him out at last after being having had the urge to push for a while and being told I wasn't dilated enough.

I really don't think wanting to find out whether it was a boy or girl would have spurred me on any more. And when I was being stitched up, which was pretty horrible after I thought it was all over, I'm glad I wasn't also fighting mixed feelings because it wasn't the sex I'd been expecting or hoping for.

redladybird · 27/06/2017 14:29

Yes, both times and I told people. I didn't do all that.... must keep it a secret from everyone else. I didn't see it as a surprise....I knew I was having a baby and I knew it was either going to be a boy or a girl, no surprise there really is there?! Hmm

MidsummerMoo · 27/06/2017 14:33

Yes - curiosity, and not having to think up two name options!

Iseehotpeople · 27/06/2017 14:44

no we didn't find out with any of ours, for me it takes the magic away

You can't possibly know this if you've only done it one way. I also used to think like this but please believe me, it really, really, really doesn't take a single jot of the magic away. Not one iota.

Giving birth and meeting your child is about so much more than what's between their legs.

DeliciouslyHella · 27/06/2017 14:46

We have both times.

With DD1, I wasn't bothered whether we found out or not, but DH really wanted to know.

With this pregnancy (DD2), we had NIPT testing done at 13 weeks and so found out then.

I strongly believe it's a surprise whenever you find out - be it 13 weeks, 20 weeks or when the baby is born. There's no right way.

spiderlight · 27/06/2017 16:22

We wanted to know, which was just as well because the first image on the screen at my 20-week scan was like one of those cock-and-balls pictures that 14-year-old boys draw on bus shelters. The radiographer was in absolute bits trying not to laugh, and when I asked her at the end if she could confirm the sex, she said 'Oh, thank goodness you wanted to know!!' Grin

Curlyshabtree · 27/06/2017 16:24

After losing DS1 at 6 days my subsequent pregnancy was twins. It was important to me to know the sex as there were 3 options! We got a healthy boy and girl.

MERLYPUSSEDOFF · 27/06/2017 16:32

Nope. (twin boys)

Just remember you can't unknow once they've told you.

Winterflower84 · 27/06/2017 17:10

I didn't Smile Everyone was saying oh it's so obvious it's a boy and I started to believe the 'experienced' mums. It turned out to be a beautiful girl and the biggest and sweetest surprise of my life. I always knew I waned to experience that big moment of surprise. In terms of shopping, I didn't buy too many clothes anyways, just the essentials in white, yellow, green, red, the bedding was in Winnie the Pooh theme. All the pretty things I bought after her birth.

AnyFarrahFowler · 27/06/2017 18:05

We didn't find out with our first. The baby was still "a person" to me and I still felt very much attached and bonded to my baby - I find it very confusing when people say they could only feel this by knowing the sex Hmm Plus nothing compared to the moment our son was born and my husband announced "its a boy!" I'll always remember that.

We found out this time (we're having a girl) simply because we thought it would be nice to experience it both ways - I feel no more or no less bonded to her as I did to my DS.

MissOnomer · 27/06/2017 18:08

DS kept talking about when his baby brother was coming.

We thought it best to manage his expectations. Just as well as he got a baby sister Grin

Ragwort · 27/06/2017 18:34

also, the day of birth is going to be the best day of your life - really Hmm? I know everyone's experience is different but giving birth (by EMCS and DH being told that the baby might die "but your wife will probably live", then learning that DS had serious medical issues) - was certainly NOT the best day of my life.

But to answer the question, no, we didn't want to know - had no 'preference', didn't want to buy any 'gender specific' items and quite happy with bland magnolia walls in the nursery Grin.

NameChange30 · 27/06/2017 19:37

Wasn't the best day of my life either Grin
Meeting DS was amazing but the day as a whole wasn't.
My wedding day was!

Lana1234 · 27/06/2017 19:37

I have Smile boy due 21st August. Wanted to know to start thinking up names, buy clothes I wanted and just to know really

Alpanini · 27/06/2017 19:40

No desire to find out the sex and usually I'm a massive planner. I have a slight preference -- but I know once the baby is here I won't care either way. Also don't want unsolicited advice of the 'oh boys are...' 'oh girls are...' variety. No naff pink stuff either.
Everyone is asking me though -- which makes me think we're in the minority maybe.

Tazerface · 27/06/2017 19:54

We found out. First pregnancy was ID twins and difficult - we wanted to be able to put an identity to our babies should the worst happen Sad. It didn't.

Second pregnancy, third baby, we found out because we wanted to be able to buy some of those daft 'little brother' things Grin. And rightly or wrongly, clothing is gendered and as pretty as I think a dress is I wasn't prepared to put a baby boy in one.

mycatloveslego · 27/06/2017 20:08

We did both times. First time we wanted to have it as our little secret and didn't tell anyone else, even though they knew we knew.
Second time was because of DS1. He really wanted a baby brother, so if we were going to have a girl we'd need to have given him plenty of time to get used to the idea.

beardotdo · 27/06/2017 20:16

We didn't find out with our ID twins. Obviously knew they'd be the same sex, but that was it. I was being scanned fortnightly and even weekly for a while but managed to keep it hidden.

They were born prematurely and it was so lovely to have something exciting to focus on, as everything else was so worrying.

I absolutely loved the suspense and trying to guess! I definitely didn't feel unprepared because I didn't know their sex.

squizita · 27/06/2017 20:19

I had 15+ scans (medical reasons before anyone hoists pants, no risk apart from left handedness and massive risk if placenta not closely monitored) so ended up asking out of curiosity and also to pick a name as I can't pick something off a menu in decent time let alone a name! The sonographer was saying "still a girl..." eventually as she was confident by 18 weeks but saw me 8 more times I think!

squizita · 27/06/2017 20:22

Winter a scan won't stop those mums. .. I had 15, 8 of which saw a girl, and they still insisted I was carrying like a boy! Grin I was getting annoyed in the end it was starting to feel kind of pushy and invasive.

ChevalierTialys · 27/06/2017 20:24

We found out for DSD's sake. She has a younger sister from her mum and stepdad who is treated like the second coming. She is constantly pushed to the side and blamed for everything her sister does. When you bear them talk about, and to, the 2 girls, the difference is horribly noticeable.

When I got pregnsnt DSD stsrted acring out really badly and when we talked to her found DSD had got it into her head that it was to do with being replaced by a better girl and she was frightened it would happen with us as well. We were hoping for a boy, and thankfully that's what we got, but we found out at 20 weeks to give ourselves plenty of time to prepare her for a girl.

DSD loves him, he is her little shadow. Not sure she could have accepted a girl the same way. We're thinking of having another, and hopefully now that DSD has experienced a new baby changing nothing for her, she would be ok with a girl this time round.

beargrass · 27/06/2017 20:41

Nope and really do not understand the desire to know. It' not always right - I do know one person who was told the wrong gender and then had to re-adjust. Mostly feels like a symptom of the 'let's make money out of everything' mentality attached to every tiny thing these days. 'Let's have a 'gender reveal' party (WTF)', 'let's find out and then get bombarded with 'ideas' for names/clothes'...so it goes on. Tbh I think it only invites yet more prying questions and invasive opinions into your life. Also helps build the pre-baby expectation which is a huge disconnect from the reality. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

NameChange30 · 27/06/2017 20:53

Chevalier
Your poor DSD Flowers Glad she has you and her dad.

FiftyShadesOfDuckEggBlue · 27/06/2017 20:54

We did not find out until the birth. Mainly because we wanted to protect the poor baby from all the gender stereotyping that starts from the womb. People around us were extremely surprised, which got really annoying after a while.

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