Devestated at potential CS. Please tell me your positive stories

[Hollyhop17]

Hi, I am 36 weeks and due to HG scheduled for an induction at 38 weeks. At my scan today they told me he has turned from head down and is now breech. I have booked in for a manual turn next week but if that doesnt work I am likely to have a c section, which I really dont want.

Due to HG, I will only be pregnant once and so sad at the thought of not experiencing labour. I am also incredibly worried about bonding and what I will be able to do in the first days and weeks.

Please share your positive birth and post natal stories.

A very scared and upset FTM

Heres mine. Written for another forum, so apologies if some bits seem odd.
I am the only person I know who had an EMCS with general anaesthetic. I am not physically able to have spinals or epidurals due to the volume of metal in my back. We knew this from very early on and investigated options but it was simply impossible to give me the pain relief required for a section in any other way. My birth plan was quite detailed to allow for this to be managed in as gently a way as possible. I expressed a lot of colostrum beforehand, ensured my birth partner knew to only put our baby in a nappy and towel until I came back, clarified with all staff that baby was only to be washed if medically necessary (basically if she pooed in the womb, which she did) . Anyway. I went into labour naturally, she did a poo, it all got pretty scary and the next intervention offered was the Syntocin drip. I declined this as I knew the likelihood of a section was getting greater and I wanted to minimise the drugs in our systems. I also declined continuous fetal monitoring as I had infection concerns regarding faeces/cutting baby's skin. I first held her 85 mins after she was born. Our 'bonding' was unaffected, breastfeeding came very easily to us and she is still breastfeeding at almost a year old. Sorry for the epic response, but please know that for those of us who birth our babies this way still have great relationships with our little ones.

I was chatting to my mum about this last night as I have had the same 'cut' you have when you have a CS (to remove a large cyst rather than a baby!) and so may have to have a CS. She's had both and found the CA much easier to recover from and it didn't impact her bond with my brother at all (quite the opposite I'd say, she remains besotted 30 years later!) She said if she could choose again, she'd have another CS as she was in less discomfort afterwards and recovered more easily. The only negative for her was that it took her slightly longer to lose her baby weight and obviously she has a scar (I have the same scar and it's never really bothered me).

There's pros and cons to both but I really don't think it impacts the bond - they're very good at making sure you still get skin to skin etc. Good luck!

I ended up with an emergency c section and the staff couldn't have been any nicer. It wasn't what I wanted/imagined how I'd have my baby but it was for the best. I've not found bonding with my son a problem at all. He was placed on my chest within seconds of being born and was allowed to remain there for a good while. In recovery again I was given the chance to do more skin to skin, the actively encouraged it. It's now been 11 days since I had him and yeah it's been hard to pick him up out of his cot etc but it doesn't stop me from bonding with him. He's currently conked out on my chest before the OH lifts him into his bed.

I've struggled a bit with trying not to do too much and finding that I'm still sore/bleeding but you just need to take the time to heal and slow down.

I have had 3 CS. They were all lovely experiences and did not put anything in the way of bonding, or breastfeeding. My recoveries were quick and painless too. Try to have some help around at home for a few days if you do have a CS, but it shouldn't stop you doing much except hoovering and driving temporarily.

Don't be scared, it isn't scary at all when it happens. Elective CS is calm and easy.

I had a forceps delivery and a CS. If I'd have had the guts to ask for it I'd have had a CS first time round. there is nothing fantastic and wonderful about labour. It's painful and only 50% of first time mothers get away with out an instrumental delivery/CS or bad tear. I was home the next day, off painkillers within 3-4d and driving at 1w after my CS, after the forceps delivery I was still walking like John Wayne and on heavy duty painkillers several weeks later. Count your lucky stars you've got a reason to have a CS!

I have had two C-sections- the first an EMCS after a hellish failed induction and the second an elective section. I had no trouble bonding or breastfeeding after either! Recovery wise, I was very sore for about 3 days afterwards and needed some painkillers for about 10 days, but after that it was absolutely fine. In fact I recovered much more quickly than some of my friends who had had vaginal births, but who needed forceps etc.

I would definitely recommend an elective section based on my experience- so very calm and civilised! Labour is overrated!

Thank you for sharing and sorry it was so difficult. Was it 85 minutes because you were under GA?

I have been reading and was scared to see that bf can be more difficult to establish. I worry that I wont be able to pick him up, change him, carry him in a sling etc.

I'm really pleased to hear it didnt affect your bonding.

I had a CS and was much less nervous than the thought of having a natural birth. The team looking after me were lovely. Recovery was quick. And no bonding problems whatsoever. He is the happiest little baby and I love him.

Don't worry. I had a failed induction (horrific) at 42 weeks and then an EMCS. It was fantastic from the moment the epidural kicked in. Great bonding time, bf was easy and comfortable. No real post op pain, with only paracetamol and ibuprofen as analgesics. Healed well. Velly was flat with no shelf by 3 months pp. Only regret is that I didn't take the ELCS I was offered.

Belly!

My husband didn't stay overnight with me and I was lifting, changing, feeding my baby, and walking around with him once the numb legs had worn off. No problems.

Labour, in all honesty, is overrated. DD was born following a natural-ish labour, and was taken away while I spent about 2 hours being repaired in theatre. I was fucking exhausted, when she cried in the ward in the night I barely had the strength to hold her, she fed badly and my nipples were cracked to bits. DH was traumatised by the whole thing and exhausted after being up with me for days as I laboured. DS was born by ELCS. Good night's sleep the night before, calm drive to hospital, born in no time without fuss or fear, propped up and breastfeeding him within maybe 30 minutes of delivery. Everyone happy.

I don't mean to give you labour fear in case your baby turns, but that is my personal experience. Good luck either way, and trust me (unless you have an unusually traumatic experience) how they come out makes not one jot of difference to how much you'll love the little bugger :)

I had a lovely elective c section, really calm and wonderful memories. Baby was put on my chest after a quick check by the midwife. Started breastfeeding in the recovery room. Very sore for the first 2 days, take your painkillers regularly and you feel ok, but after that just paracetamol and ibuprofen for another week or so.

Yes, long delay due to my anaesthesia

Sorry, lots more people replied as I typed out thst last message.

Thank you all for sharing, much appreciated.

I'm struggling with the loss of control, because of how ill I've been I havent felt in control once and I was pinning my hopes on being in control with a new born.

How long did it take people to be able to do everything for themselves? I'll only have someone here for the first 5 weeks, is that long enough?

Hi there- for you. I'm sure you'll get hundreds of people telling you the same thing- as long as you and the baby are healthy, then you've had a positive birth! I don't want that to sound flippant, but it really is true. I've had 2 c sections (one an emergency and one planned) - both children are healthy and fully bonded. It's the cuddles and the love and the caring that will bond you over the coming days, weeks, months, years- not the fact that you have a vaginal birth
With a CS, you'll be sore- you'll be hunched over, but you'll manage. You'll need some help to pick your baby up initially, but you'll certainly be able to do almost everything you were planning- minus the driving and hoovering! Its definitely the housework that will have to slide, not your love and relationship with your baby.
Hope you feel better soon- it's not what you planned, but you'll all be fine and thrive if that is what it comes to. Good luck!

I loved my CS. I did go into labour before that but it was a planned CS so it was brought forward. It was calm and lovely. I was relaxed and had a lovely time doing skin to skin while they stitched me up. I took it easy. Breastfeeding came fairly easily to me (and him). Husband did all the nappy changes and what not. I just lay in bed and fed. First 4 days I needed my painkillers. Day 5 down to 1-2 a day. Needed no more after Day 7. By Day 15 could barely feel a twinge. Absolutely no bonding issues.

Second baby also a CS. But he was a very very prem baby weighing under a kilo so the focus was on his survival. However my recovery time was similar AND I expressed milk so that he left the SCBU after 60 odd days having had nothing but breastmilk.

I was driving and out walking with DS in a sling at 5 days.

CS does not cause any problems with breastfeeding in my experience. All mine started feeding in the recovery room.
You will be expected to pick up and change your baby from the first night in hospital.
I felt in control when having CS. I got to choose the date, the surgeon and the music. I also got aromatherapy - all NHS.

5 weeks is ages. 2 weeks is probably enough really.

I had an emergency c section after a long labour followed by a 4 month recovery to fully heal.

I can honestly say that the c section and recovery hasn't affected my bond with baby at all. The early days when I couldn't move consisted of lots of lying with baby on me and lots of feeding.

BF went well and the issues we had were nothing to do with the c section.

In terms of lifting, the first couple of days I couldn't pick him up out of the cot so had to ask someone. After that I was fine and could pick up ans put down. I didn't use a sling for the first couple of weeks as I didn't need to.

If you have family and friends living nearby use all offers of help. They will want to help. Don't be too proud. I was to begin with. Don't do too much either. Give yourself time to heal.

The biggest thing is I would do it all again to get the lovely little boy in front of me.

That should be more than plenty. Tbh you can look after a newborn more or less from the off if breastfeeding works out, just stay in bed recovering and feeding and changing nappies (I recommend a small folding change mat), and get someone to fetch food and drinks for you. By 5 weeks you'll be flying. I looked after DS and toddler DD alone when he was 5 weeks old and my leg had only been out of plaster cast less than a fortnight. If it hadn't been for the plaster I would have been fine alone far earlier :)

A midwife said to me that the birth is an event but not part of parenting, and it's the parenting that's vital. She said you don't need to be biologically related or give birth at all to be a great mum or dad.

The drugs help with accepting the loss of control!

I had 2 sections. Bf was hard for a few days: I had a bad time with DC1 bf in first few days, she screamed loads and lost weight, was fine once milk came in. I broke the " rules" with DC2 and syringe fed formula in addition to the boob until milk kicked in! DC2 was then bfed until 2.5!

5 weeks is plenty- you'll be off painkillers and walking normally within 7 to 10 days. I had v difficult pregnancy and was literally grinning the day of my ELCS - I felt like I was regaining control!

I had twins with a c section and on own after 3 days. You will cope.
Enjoy those new born cuddles

Five weeks is loads of time! Really. I hated my induction. It was awful and the emcs at the end was the best bit. Things finally felt safe and under control again and I knew my dd would arrive safely and soon. She bf straight away in the recovery room. We bonded brilliantly. I needed help from DH for a couple of weeks (mainly for nappies and to look after me while dd and I lay around feeding.) So happy with it I opted for a elcs the second time. I recovered quickly and easily from both because I really took it easy the first fortnight with both.

Obviously there's no guarantee you'll have it so easy but no reason to think you won't. Good luck!