Devestated at potential CS. Please tell me your positive stories

[Hollyhop17]

Hi, I am 36 weeks and due to HG scheduled for an induction at 38 weeks. At my scan today they told me he has turned from head down and is now breech. I have booked in for a manual turn next week but if that doesnt work I am likely to have a c section, which I really dont want.

Due to HG, I will only be pregnant once and so sad at the thought of not experiencing labour. I am also incredibly worried about bonding and what I will be able to do in the first days and weeks.

Please share your positive birth and post natal stories.

A very scared and upset FTM

I've had two EMCS, the first was hardest, my boy was an undiagnosed breech and it all went a bit bonkers in hospital when they realised, I was in shock for a day or two & didn't get any milk come in because of it but I was able to do everything with my boys, bonded with them both and loved them from the second I saw them, I successfully breast fed DS2. The only things I struggled with were getting off the bed lol, hubby had to help me for a few days lol and not being my usual independent self, but was back up and driving etc by 5 weeks with both. If we have any more I'll be excited to have an elective c section lol, no stress of labour or pain good luck be excited to meet your baby, don't worry about how they make their entrance!

OP you don't know if you are the only one to have a CS in your NCT group. Your NCT friends don't know, either. IMO 99% of what goes on labour in out of your control -no amount of good breathing will alter the really important factors such as baby presentation, lie, mother pelvic issues, cord issues etc. God having a baby should be a happy time! Sometimes I feel the NCT is doing some harm with their restrictive ideas of what birth should be.

Also I feel that HG mums don't get much support during labour. You get to labour sick, exhausted, borderline malnourished and dehydrated , when you should be at your best because labour is hugely physically demanding.

Sorry you have had so many serious issues with your pregnancy I bet your NCT friends feel they're having a walk in the park in comparison.

The atmosphere in the theatre was so calm and cheery for my planned cs. And despite the huge number of babies they had probably seen born between them, all the staff had a little coo over dd once she was out safely and checked ☺ . 5 weeks of help will be perfect. You'll probably feel fragile the first couple of days. Take it very easy the first week or so (pyjamas and sofa) then build up again.

HG is shocking isn't it. Hang in there .

OP I had EMCS, baby was whipped away because he was very poorly. DH was allowed to see him at 3 hers and me at 4 hrs IN NICU. I had feeling in my legs boot couldn't walk. However whilst I went up and down by wheelchair for 3 days I was up and about by discharge at day 3. I didn't hold my son until he was 2 weeks old due to the ventilator and he didn't come home till 13 weeks.

He's a cuddly koala. My lap is his favorite place. No issues with bonding at all.

All being well your baby will come out into your arms and there will be no difference to all the women who deliverer vaginally.

My CD was a total success because I have my son.

GOOD LUCK XXXXXXX

Also re NCT friends. One had a planned CS. I had CS because of the baby. one had a CS because of her. One had a 30 he vaginal delivery 10 days late. Not sure on the other 2. Its surprising go little you really talk about it past the initial "this happened today"

I would say CS wouldn't impact your bond with your DC I had a tough time with the Birth of my DS 2 months ago had to have forceps delivery as a first time mum I didn't have the birth I'd envisioned I thought I'd be able to have a natural birth trouble free and I didn't I lost a lot of blood was on strong pain killers for 2 weeks after Birth as well as antibiotics to not get any infections I suffered a 3 degree tear and for weeks I could barely walk or sit down without it hurting and I'm still having to go back to see a gyno.
I love my DS he is my world and I honestly think regardless how your child comes out you won't impact that bond it's already been there from the start
I know that if I have another child I will be asking for a CS

Don't worry about your NCT friends. All six of us in my group had sections! My baby was the last to be born and I did feel a slight pressure from the others who kept saying that they were depending upon me to buck the trend and actually show that a vaginal birth is possible. Unfortunately I ended up with an EMCS after a very long labour, three hours of pushing and a failed ventouse. Despite all that recovery was very quick and I was driving again when DD was ten days old. My VBAC on the other hand took me months to recover from and I was in a considerable amount of pain for a long time. I would never opt for a vaginal birth again. IME sections are much easier to recover from and far less painful. Good luck with whatever you choose.

how many are in your NCT group - 6? 8? it would be very unusual for only one to have a CS

You won't be the only one in your NCT group to have a section, it will probably be nearly half. I've had one vaginal delivery and one EMCS. Honestly I had a lovely vaginal birth, a great experience, but when I needed an EMCS with my second I didn't care, I just wanted her out and both of us to survive. The birth is something that seems really important at the time, but everything that comes after soon overtakes it.

My lovely friend had a planned section booked for breech baby but went into labour so had it a few days early. She was about 38 weeks and maintains it was the very best day of her life. She can remember details I can't (I have had 3 vaginal deliveries) and healed fantastically. She is 5 months pregnant now (got pregnant when DD1 was 13 months) with no issues with the growing bump and is delighted and excited to have a ELCS again.

My mum also had 3 within 5 years, as did another good friend - after ELCS #3 they were both back on the school run etc very quickly.

All the best for your new arrival!

Honestly, the labour and birth are such a small part of the whole experience of having children. I know it doesn't seem like it now, and I cried walking into the theatre myself!

But now my kids are 6 and 8, regret just doesn't feature. I don't think about it or feel I failed. My body has brought 2 new people into the world and I am proud of it!

Post cs for me personally was easy, I was mid 30s. The decision to section was made v early on both children.

Thank you everyone, these stories are great. So lovely to hear such positivity with CS.

There are 8 of us in my class. I will possibly have the first as my induction is scheduled the day before the first two are due. 5 of us had 36 week scans yesterday and I was the only breech, the rest were head down and some engaged as well.

No one has chimed in with a positive manual turn... I am sensing it isnt popular on here. My DH thinks its worth giving it a go, but obviously is happy to do whatever I want.

I had an emergency section with my first and a planned one with my second (medical reasons)
I honestly wasn't sure how I felt about having a section beforehand but don't feel like I've missed out nor have I had problems with bonding or breastfeeding.
A section isn't a picnic but it's also can be no more difficult or easy than a natural birth.
You have to be careful with lifting and over exerting yourself afterwards but that can also be true for all births. You can def hold, cuddle and lift your baby. You just have to be careful. I only had help for 2 weeks after birth and I also have mobility problems - both times we've managed.
My planned section was really quite a nice experience and was nicer than my emergency one (I think the emergency nature of it made me a bit scared)

holly my SIL had an ECV. The first one failed but the second was successful. She was then induced due to reduced movement, had a three day labour which ended with a ventuouse delivery and a third degree tear. She says now that once the first ECV failed she'd taken the ELCS on offer. Obviously this is one story but sometimes there's a reason why an ECV doesn't work and an ELCS is the best option for mum and baby.

Oh love, I've not RTFT but I really wanted to go for a vaginal birth too but it wasn't to be. Three prostaglandin pessaries, rigged to a monitor for nearly 80 hours...absolutely nothing.
The day I hit the 42w mark they couldn't get in to break my waters so CS it was.
I was CS at 3:50
Met baby at 4:15
In recovery within the hour
On the ward by 9pm
Eating toast by 9:30
Wandering about by 4am

My recovery was very straightforward: I did what I was told and was totally fine within 6 weeks.

I didn't feel like I'd failed DD delivering by CS. It was a decision borne of medical necessity (as is yours) and tbf I was fed up waiting to meet her.

So just do as you're told where recovery is concerned! Don't be a hero, get as much sleep as you can and outsource as much as you can.

Dunno where you live but a freezer full of frozen ready meals from COOK were a massive help!

Breeches weren't the reason here OP. So no comment on turning.

My ds's heart rate was dropping and on my dd, she wouldn't engage so they said there was not point trying to induce. My waters were gone 24h at that point, so probably time to get her out! (She wouldn't feed either, feck's sake, but that's another story)

And of course you can join the birthing chat! I certainly chimed in with mine, cs is just a valid a birth as a natural one.

I'd say deliveries in my social group were pretty much evenly split between CS and VB. I only know one woman who had complications as a result of her section (adhesions) but several who have ongoing problems after vaginal birth (incontinence, prolapse, continued discomfort after bad tears or episiotomies). I do know women who've had really smooth deliveries with no tearing or intervention but they're the minority.

I had a planned section with DC1 as they were breech and will be having another with DC2 in a few months. I would not have consented to the turning procedure, do your research and make the decision that's right for you. I was terrified of a VB so a section was the best possible outcome for me, it was calm and exciting and genuinely one of the best days of my life.i recovered quickly and went home after 1 night.
Please don't feel devastated, the birth is no reflection on the next few decades of parenting you have ahead.
Oh and in our NCT group 3/4 were sections.

I have to tell you, we've never done "labour chats" in any of my groups. My friends with older kids wanted the birth story, no one else was interested so you may not miss out on that much anyway

By the way of an NCT group of 5 we had only one vaginal delivery. The rest were CS.

Obviously it's up to you, but please do think carefully about a manual turn. I'm not a medic, but I am a scientist who works in a clinical field, so I'm well qualified to understand what I'm reading and to evaluate evidence. I would absolutely never consent to an ecv. Ever.

IF you do (and it's your choice and the above is my personal opinion not medical advice blah blah) then ask:

How many has the person performed ? How many total how many this year?
How many of those resulted in a successful turn ? And by successful I mean no foetal distress, no reduced movements, no follow on to c section. By successful, I mean 'turned baby, zero problems, on at the normal time to a vb.'
how long will I be monitored for after? It needs to be at least a couple of hours.
Have you ever tried a turn and it resulted in harm to baby or required follow on c section?

And make sure that the facility you do it in has nicu facilities and the ability to do an immediate section.

I've had 3cs and baby number 4 who week be a cs in October is just giving me a good kicking.
1st was failed induction at 38 weeks.
2nd I went into labour the day I turned 39 weeks. He was breech but turned before labour. I spent a lot of time hanging upside down off the sofa on hands and knees but no idea if that's what shifted him. Ended in section but he was 10lb 9oz and appeared to be pretty wedged in.
3rd planned section at 40 weeks, played board games with dh on the ward until it was my turn, walked down it was all so calm. I did have a funny turn when they were attempting to get cannula in but they were amazingly supportive I don't think I've ever had better medical care than that day in theater. All 3 were straight on the breast once I was out of surgery. 3rd one I was home within 24 hours of coming out of surgery.
Listen to your body and don't overdo it in the early days.
I would have loved a "normal" birth, but my babies were 8lb9oz, 10lb9oz, 9lb14oz so my vagina is glad I didn't get one.
Have a lovely birth op.

Quick question @oddsocks; what was the gap between your CS's?

I'm just curious as I'm facing down CS#2 and plan to have a third child and don't want my method of delivery this time to cause any complications IYSWIM?

@thelegendofbeans sorry for delayed reply.
There were 26 months between first 2.
5 years between 2 and 3.
15 months between 3 and 4 if he doesn't come early!
To be honest after ds1 they talked about how dangerous cs made the next pregnancies rupture etc etc, but I was in labour for days with ds2 and they just kept sending me home. When I eventually got to 4cm and I was on labour ward I was on a birthing ball and there was no fuss until it looked like he wasn't going to come out and was getting a bit distressed.
Absolutely no concerns from my consultant last time, I was down to attempt vbac even in water if I'd gone into labour naturally. I did encounter a negative midwife/consultant one day and they were awful, said I nearly killed my baby trying for vbac 2nd time but then my actual consultant went thoroughly through my notes from the birth and said that was rubbish. My blood pressure dropped during surgery which affected baby but he was fine. So if you do have anyone upset you please get a second opinion.
This time round I must have conceived 6 months or less after my 3rd section and I was worried but I saw the consultant and he had absolutely no concerns. Didn't advise vbac but had no concerns about doing 4th or 5th sections.
The third section was actually the easiest and recovery the best for me so far. I think it has a lot to do with my recovery after the previous sections. First was a very stressful time and I overdid it, when second was born there was a lot of scar tissue to cut through. But I took it easier after that one and head quick easy surgery for third. Could be coincidence though.
Hope that helps!

Oh god this is so helpful thank you ♥️