Devestated at potential CS. Please tell me your positive stories

[Hollyhop17]

Hi, I am 36 weeks and due to HG scheduled for an induction at 38 weeks. At my scan today they told me he has turned from head down and is now breech. I have booked in for a manual turn next week but if that doesnt work I am likely to have a c section, which I really dont want.

Due to HG, I will only be pregnant once and so sad at the thought of not experiencing labour. I am also incredibly worried about bonding and what I will be able to do in the first days and weeks.

Please share your positive birth and post natal stories.

A very scared and upset FTM

I had a planned CS due to breech. It was a fantastic experience. It was my first and only baby and obviously have nothing to compare it to, but speaking amongst friends and my NCT group, my recovery was far better than a lot of the natural births.

It didn't negatively impact bonding in anyway, she was placed in my arms as soon as I was in recovery and bf'ing was established no differently to friends who had had natural births.

She was born at midday and I was walking (slowly) by 5pm and up and about the next morning. It was a bit sore for a few days, but keep up with the pain relief they give you and it was not in unmanageable! I could hold and feed without any issues and was out with the pram/sling on a par with natural birth friends.

I was distraught when I found out I'd need a section (and very scared!) but hands down if we have another, I'll ask for another section.

I was home in 3 days, DH went back to work 2 weeks later and I was fine.
If you haven't moved house, I remember from a previous thread that you live near me and will have your baby at the same hospital I did. Feel free to pm me if you need anything.

I had a c section at 4pm, the cot was beside me, I could pick him up without help and by 10pm I was up and about and changing into my pyjamas.

I went home the next day and did'nt need so much as a paracetamol. Honestly I did'nt have any pain and could do everything myself, although I had no choice as I'm a single Mum.

It was easy, stressfree and painless.

I had an emcs after a failed induction. It was the last thing I wanted during my pregnancy but after 2 failed processes, and 18 hours on a drip (only to dilate to 2cm) I just wanted her out safely. Everyone was lovely, it was very calm and DH was even able to watch her come out and tell me the sex. He cut the cord and held her near to me until I was stitched up. As soon as we were in recovery, we did skin to skin and put her to my breast to start feeding.
I was standing within 6 hours and had no problem with lifting her or moving around. My recovery has been great and i've barely had any bother from pain. I am struggling to lose rghe weight, but my tummy is deflating. I'm 41so blaming my age for that!
We had some issues feeding as she lost more than 10% of her birth weight. We mix fed for a while as it took a while for my milk to come in but still breast feeding at 9 weeks with a bottle of formula at night.
You'll be fine.

I've had 4 caesareans, they were all amazingly positive experiences. I had a few minor issues afterwards but nothing major and recovered well, was back driving 2-4 weeks after and breastfed all of them to 2 years plus.
Honestly it will be fine, I really looked forwards to my younger children's births.

Thank you everyone.

Think I've maybe watched one too many one born every minute but each section it seems like the mothers never get skin to skin and are 'shown' their babies but never seem to be holding them. I am really pleased so many of you have said that you got skin and skin and bf going immediately.

Thank you.

And yes 5 weeks is fine. My husband went back to work after 2 weeks. I did have people popping in daily but they didn't do everything. I did all baby care, others did housework. The house got left. Do not try hoovering!

A sling is great post CS. With something like a Close Caboo, the weight of the baby is evenly distributed over your shoulders and back as well as your stomach muscles, and you ought to have baby close enough to kiss their head, which means they're wrapped well above the scar line.

If you've felt out of control Tbh a CS might be better for you. You'll know the date time and place your baby can be born. Some hospitals will let you play your own music. The procedure is quick, simple, and will be fully explained. Labour starts when it chooses, can start-stop for days or take no time at all, and a million unpredictable things can happen.

When my DS was born he cried. They brought him to me and placed him cheek to cheek with me and I said "hello baby" - he stopped crying immediately - he knew my voice I'm sure. It was beautiful.

Right. A few things:

A manual turn can be quite a violent experience for the baby, potentially dangerous , and there is no way I would ever agree to one. A CS is much MUCH safer for your baby than a manual turn.

Have hope - my DC1 turned head down half way through my 36th week.

I've had a VB and a CS and there was no difference in bonding. I was way more mobile and pain-free after the section as the VB was no walk in the park - after the VB it took me weeks to be able to walk normally, carry baby up and down the stairs etc. I bonded very well with both babies and never had the blues. With the CS I was discharged earlier, established breastfeeding more easily and didn't need antibiotics or lactulose.

Remember you will have a planned section which cannot really be compared wih an emergency one IMO. My planned section (due to birthing injuries in my VB) was a very calm, quick experience, surrounded by a great team of people who were genuinely happy for us.

Personally I feel that giving birth is first about delivering baby safely and then about me - I didn't have strong feelings or expectations about labour having to be a certain way.

BTW why are you being induced at 38 weeks because of HG? I had HG in my first pregnancy and early induction was never considered.

Also probably the only good point about having HG is that you will feel AMAZING after the placenta comes out You have probably forgotten what it's like to feel normal, i.e. not sick. Being able to finish a meal and get on with my life without throwing up for the first time in 8 months was a thing of wonder

You sound really worked up, I hope you can relax and enjoy your baby coming into this world, however that happens

I got skin to skin immediately after he was assessed (had a cs because of complications that could have affected the baby) and had no problem establishing breastfeeding or bonding at all.

Honestly, it will be fine. Please don't fixate on the birth - it is such a tiny part of becoming and being a parent and the one which we have least control over.

Please please stop googling. This idea that natural, pain relief birth is essential to bonding and successful parenting is ridiculous. It's one day out of a lifetime. As many have shared, cs had no negative impact for them. In my case, emergency cs for dd was STILL preferable to ds' birth. She also fed easier and I bonded with her more. Not least, I suspect, because I wasn't dealing with mild ptsd from a horrible birth with ds.

Elective cs is also good in that the recovery tends to be better ( no emergency cutting or rushing, plus you haven't been in labour for 24 hours beforehand) and really, within a few days you will be up and about. Honestly. If you have help for five weeks, take it. But you won't be helpless.

Enjoy it!!

With the skin to skin I wasn't allowed any until I'd been stitched but he went straight on my husband until I was in recovery. About 40 mins after birth. This sounds ages but it went quickly for me.

I've had both types of birth. There were pros and cons to both, my CS was elective and I didn't feel any real pain at any point due to keeping thoroughly topped up with the drugs. I'd say I bonded exactly the same with both children. While I am glad I got to experience pushing a baby out, I also wouldn't be overly bothered if both births had been CSs. Everyone being ok at the end of it is the main aim!

Regarding recovery, I found this to be ok, it was amazing being able to have a pain free piss, don't underestimate how sore it is having your fanny ripped to shreds. I hope this makes you feel better about potential CS.

I was at a wedding with an overnight exactly one week after my c section back in April 😊😊

After a 48 hour labour it ended in an emergency c section. After all that I was disappointed but I looked at the silver lining that my lady area would stay intact hehe. I'm still pretty happy about that part. The recovery was ok, you just need to take it easy. I still picked her up, walked to get my hospital meals and changed her etc. We also had to stay in hospital for another four nights due to infection and baby girl had a severe tongue tie so establishing breastfeeding was the worst few days of my life, painful and pressured (midwives amazing, hospital BF 'experts' awful). My colostrum and milk came in great and plentiful and that varies from mum to mum anyway. Read up on hand expressing colostrum, I didn't do this doh! I found it soul destroying but maybe I would have been better prepared if I've read up on it.

The c section had no effect on my bonding with my daughter though, sadly I think the latching issues and tongue tie did a little. I dreaded feeds due to the pain which is common with tongue tie. We're all good now though 😊

Thanks all, I am a bit overwhelmed at the number of positive stories, it has made me feel a bit better.

Elvira, I have had HG throughout and my mental health has taken a battering. He has always been slightly on the large side so they were less concerned about him coming earlier. I asked for one and luckily, they agreed. The HG, as you know, is soul destroying and I am desperate, after 8 months, for it to be over.

I'm a ftm too and wanted a home birth because I was worried about being in hospital and particularly didn't want a c section (plus I lived just 5 mins from the hospital in case any thing went wrong otherwise I would have chickened out!). I ended up transferring to hospital anyway and having an emergency c section and you know what? I absolutely loved it! It was such a fantastic experience - the theatre team were brilliant, really supportive and funny (I was in a very good mood as soon as I had the spinal anaesthetic as had had no pain relief and just couldn't cope any more!). I felt so safe, in control, involved in what they were doing, their communication with me and my partner was brilliant.

We heard our dd cry as they lifted her out and remember the excitement over the anticipation of finally seeing her for the first time. One of the nurses took loads of photos for us. I unfortunately didn't get to hold her straight away as she had been in distress and we needed cleaning up (pooed in the womb!). But that delay didn't matter because the moment we had skin to skin contact she immediately latched on, fed and fell asleep blissfully, it was wonderful.

Recovery-wise I was only in hospital one night and was given strong painkillers and injections to administer daily. I was shown different breastfeeding positions to make feeding with a section more comfortable and had loads of support at home from my midwife, breast feeding support etc. The recovery was really quick and healed really well, tbh I hardly used any of the painkillers they gave me beyond the first few days as I felt fine. The first few weeks with a newborn were basically sat on the sofa breastfeeding her all the time anyway or letting her snooze on my partner so I could nap in peace. Having a c section did not affect our bond in anyway, even with that delay in being able to hold her for the first time. She's 6 months now and a right chubby, happy little one.

I had an EMCS after 48 hours of mucking around trying to get labour going (two weeks over due date) and was OK after a couple of days, great after 2 weeks. One thing I would say is, take the drugs on time! Don't wait to start feeling pain to take the painkillers, as they take a while to kick in.

Our health visitor came to the house on day 4 I think, and asked if I was her patient as I answered the door holding ds and she didn't expect me to be looking so well!

Planned elective CS for DD was a total breeze 3 years later, even quicker recovery. I do not feel I've missed out on anything by not having natural labours.

I had one emcs and one elective and the elective one was pure bliss. All organised, spinal anaesthetic, husband present, best team ever, beautiful unsquashed baby. Refused all pain relief afterwards except paracetamol and was fine. Home on day 4. Three days later the midwife said I didn't even look like I'd had a baby, never mind a c section. Happiest days of my life.

PS She's had her moments bless her, but she's off to Uni this September.

Oh and this may be tmi but I was pushing for hours and hours before having a c section and not getting anywhere, which led to terrible piles afterwards. They were the worst bit about my recovery so at least you'll avoid that!

For starters I would never consent to a manual turn (ECV) the risk of that is too high. There can be good reasons why a baby is breech and forcing a turn can lead to cord compression, placental abruption and foetal distress. There was a very harrowing thread on here a while back where someone's baby had died due to the force used in the ecv and the lack of monitoring after. So nope, for me, a planned c section over an ecv any day. I wouldn't give consent for one.

I had a planned section due to placenta previa. I got skin to skin and he latched on the table while they were suturing. It's only if there are complications they will take them to sort out (some babies just need a check and a little assistance.) that can happen with vb too, by the way - giving birth vaginally is no guarantee of immediate skin to skin or successful breastfeeding. General SOP these days is skin to skin at the start. You can make your wishes known to the team performing the surgery.

A drug free painless natural birth is a lovely idea, and fab for anyone who has one. The reality however is that birth is very, very unpredictable. You might have a fantastic vb, or you might end up with serious injuries from an instrumental delivery. A planned cs is almost always a calmer affair. I was up within a few hours and although day one I felt rough, by a week I was functional.

Birth is one day - the real stuff is the rest of their lives. Just as a fancy wedding doesn't make a good marriage, a natural birth doesn't make a good parent.

It is upsetting feeling you might miss out on labour. So much of pregnancy is geared up to birthing, more so than the actual parenting I think. So, it can feel like you losing something by not birthing by labour. However, giving birth is actually such a tiny part of the whole parenting journey and it's such a shame we are told that we are less likely to bond if we have a CS. I have had two, first was an emergency and second elective. Both children were placed on me skin to skin as soon as it was possible - as soon as I was in recovery. Both latched on not long after also. Both were breastfed, baby two is eighteen months now and we are still going! I couldn't love either of them more so I'd say we bonded pretty well. Recovery from the op was good too, you can barely see the scars, but I'm quite fond of them in a way. You will need some help in the first couple of weeks, but it's just a good excuse to spend cuddling your baby whilst they are tiny! Three weeks I was very close to back to normal.

I had HG too, by the way. It's horrific and you have my sincere sympathies

First cs was an EMCS, second (needed due to pre-eclampsia again) was less rushed. For this one I asked not to be told the sex of the baby, and the baby was lifted above the curtain for dh to see for himself and tell me. But frankly both cs's were fine, even though I had planned neither of them.

I did make dh take down the birth pool at home and get it out of my sight before I got home mind you!