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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

20 week scan soon, am scared baby might be a boy

252 replies

WantingMorePink · 09/03/2007 10:04

Have 3 lovely girls and am pg with 4th. I am hoping beyond hope that this baby is another girl. My scans on Tuesday and I'm making myself ill with thoughts it might be a boy.

I've been so lucky so far with getting girls, just praying its another beautiful girl. Anyone else have a gender preference?

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NotanOtter · 09/03/2007 17:27

I came from a family of four girls Hatrick!

I have to fight the boys corner because society today favours the pink variety so

TaylorsMummy · 09/03/2007 17:33

Indiajane - You thought boys were rough and a bit of a waste of space??

what, as a grown woman?

some of you people must have serious man phobias, omg.

hatrick · 09/03/2007 17:37

This reply has been deleted

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indiajane · 09/03/2007 17:37

Yes, I did, I was really really smug that I had two girls and I used to read with interest all the newspapers reporting how girls do better at school and are more adept socially than boys in terms of ability to communicate etc and I admit it, I was really glad to have only girls.

NotanOtter · 09/03/2007 17:40

has that idea changed now India?

indiajane · 09/03/2007 17:43

Damm right! Have eaten humble pie so often to all my friends and family.

Having him was one of the best things that ever happened and if I were to have another I would LOVE it to be a second boy!!

Enid · 09/03/2007 17:43

notanotter - really?? boys are not favoured?
tell that to my PILs . Also they do better than girls in the job market so I think it all evens out in the end!

I was a bit of a stroppy teenager (really enid ) but my sis was an angel so there you go.

I met a grandmother the otehr day who had four dds, eight grand-girls and one brand new baby grandson. She said he was spoilt rotten and also that all her dds were lovely adn not difficult at all - so there is hope, even if it is just with the benefit of hindsight

NotanOtter · 09/03/2007 17:43

Aww IndiaJane- you made me come over all Goosebumps!!

sweetkitty · 09/03/2007 17:45

In our family boys are seen as the better sex (I don't know why one sex is seen as better surely everyone is an individual not just a boy/girl). When I told my mother DD2 was a DD she said "nevermind I know you'll have a third" wtf DD2 is a brilliant little person how could I ever be worried about what's between her legs?

WMP - whilst I think it's a bit worrying that you are getting yourself so worked up about it I think you are brave for posting your honest feelings. Thats the great thing about mumsnet people can say things they don't feel able to in RL.

indiajane · 09/03/2007 17:45
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Original poster
WantingMorePink · 09/03/2007 17:46

beanie2bump and rahrah,

I am incredibly sorry to hear about your lossess. This thread was in no way meant to undermine the real importance of being pregnant and make those who have experienced the loss of a baby feel upset and angry.

Logically I know I'm being ridiculous about gender. Realistically I could cope with a boy and love him like my others. Practically there is room in our family for a baby boy. I just cannot shake my longing for a girl and am feeling worse and worse as my scan day approaches. I'm sure this is nothing like the terrible experiences you have had and I was never intentionally setting about trying to compare my worries to yours. My intention was to try to get someof my anxieties out and seek some advice from others. Please accept my apologies as feel really wretched I've upset you.

Wishing you both healthy pregnancies now or in the future.

OP posts:
NotanOtter · 09/03/2007 17:46

Enid I truly believe it. Dont you think looking at this site that girls are the desired object?. Look at gender selection figures - although it evens out globally - British couples want girls

I was brought up in a family of four girls where people used to grimace when my mother anounced it and now culture has shifted and people look at me with pity when i announce my fourth boy

nh101 · 09/03/2007 17:46

Rahrah1 sorry about your son, that is so sad.

Wantmorepink - I have three sisters (no brothers) and they have five daughters between them so we were always dead sniffy about boys (but I think we all seecretly wanted one to come along). So when Sister 2 had a boy last August it was an unknown quantity - but what a delight! He is so different to the girls, much more placid and my heart melts for him in a different way to the others (tho I don't love him any more/less). I think you might be surprised if it is a boy.

When my youngest sister was born everyone said to my dad: "Oh, you must have been hoping for a boy" but he was so offended, as if his girls weren't good enough. Is there an advice line you could ring to talk about this?

Clare123 · 09/03/2007 17:49

This is post is horrible, all those generalisations about the different sexes and using the word bitch to describe half the population is horrid.

Many of us may have a sneaky wish for one sex rather than the other, I know I ashamedly did, but I am also adult enough to realise I will love any child I am truely blessed to have - and every child is a true gift.

Enid · 09/03/2007 17:51

notanotter but I have had that pitying thing about having a third girl

I think people have an idea that one girl one boy is the ideal outcome (never mind the lack of same-sex siblings!)

but really I think people just comment for something to say and tbh, they couldn't give a tinkers cuss what mixture of genders you have!

Overrun · 09/03/2007 17:54

Okay, I have been lurking
I agree with NotanOtter, I get condolences for my three boys, all the time It really winds me up, seriously people say "poor you" or "My God three of them"
Statistics prove that girls are favoured as well.

indiajane · 09/03/2007 17:54

WMP, why don't you not find out what sex the baby is?

In retrospect I wish that I hadn't known that I was having a boy because then I wouldn't have needed to go through the next 20 weeks of very, very serious (to me) upset.

Perhaps leave it and find out the sex on the day of the birth, when you hold him - or her - in your arms the chances of you minding what sex it is are much much less than when it's nothing more than a vaguely uncomfortable bump.

Not sure if I'm being very clear here

myturn · 09/03/2007 17:58

I lost count of the number of people who said 'are you trying for a boy now?' after having dd4. Errr no actually... I loved having girls and was happy to keep on having them.. I felt it would have been very odd to have had a boy after being so used to girls (fear of the unknown). So when pregnant I did secretly hope they would be girls. I positive that feeling would have changed instantly if I had had a little boy though...

Now that I can't have any more I would LOVE a boy... my sister is pregnant and hopefully she will have the little boy I'll never have...

kimi · 09/03/2007 17:59

DH1 really wanted DS2 to be a girl, I just knew he was a he even before the scan.
I was just lucky to be blessed with two lovely healthy children, fingers and toes intact.

Having boys though i often wonder what it would be like to have a girl, (not that i will be having any more).

My cousin has a girl 3 months younger then DS1 and she is really hard work, but cousin cant imagion having a boy as they get muddy

MadamePlatypus · 09/03/2007 18:02

I also have one of each. When I had DS, I was secretly sorry for all the people who had girls, and when I had DD I was secretly sorry for everyone I knew with a little baby boy. Ofcourse what I really felt was sorry for everybody who didn't have MY baby boy/baby girl. Whatever sex it is it will be your "bundle of scumptiousness".

I can kind of sympathise, (although I am obviously not in the same position), as I think there is something quite cool about having a tribe of one sex, whether boys or girls. However, my advise is chill and go have a tub of icecream

beanie2bump · 09/03/2007 18:37

WantingMorePink no need to apologise. and i do hope u manage to find peace with what ever sex you have, im sure you will be overjoyed with a boy as much as a girl, but understand u have only had girls,
and ur concerns,.

Try not to waste such a happy time that you will never get back, and try and enjoy your last pregnancy,

i did not mean to be ott, its just when u have really suffered to have a child other concerns seem small to them, and some times leave you frustrated and unable to understand, which im sure you can understand,

i hope u feel better and that you start to eat and relax a little, have u deceieded to find out the sex of your baby????

duchesse · 09/03/2007 18:40

I have both. Boys are lovely. Girls are lovely. I very much doubt you will not love this child, whatever sex it is.

kayzr · 09/03/2007 18:41

Im expecting my first and until about a week before my scan I wasn't bothered and didnt want to know but something changed and I really wanted a boy even though my husband has Muscular Dystrophy which could be passed down to a boy (very rare for it to be passed to a daughter). I was so happy to find out we are having a boy. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed already for the next to be a girl.

I'd rather have at least 1 of each than all one sex

jhyesmum · 09/03/2007 18:49

Boys are great fun. My DS is great.

TBH IMO just feel lucky that you are expecting your 4th child.

Jossiejump · 09/03/2007 19:30

I have got 2 DS, when I was pg 2nd time I was told by everyone that this one would be a girl (even had a "girls" heartbeat!), when I gave birth I fell in love with him straight away, even though a part of me had been hoping he would be a girl.

I wouldn't be without him for the world and love both my boys.

I have now had 3 miscarriages in 10 months and am desperate to hold another of my babies in my arms and feed it and really don't care what sex it is.

When I read your post all I felt was sadness and anger.
Be grateful for what you will have as there are others that are not so lucky-just imagine how you would be feeling if things hadn't gone right, you too would be desperate for a baby of either gender