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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

20 week scan soon, am scared baby might be a boy

252 replies

WantingMorePink · 09/03/2007 10:04

Have 3 lovely girls and am pg with 4th. I am hoping beyond hope that this baby is another girl. My scans on Tuesday and I'm making myself ill with thoughts it might be a boy.

I've been so lucky so far with getting girls, just praying its another beautiful girl. Anyone else have a gender preference?

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GRUMPYGIRL · 09/03/2007 14:33

Are you sure that you dont secretly have a hankering for a boy and are protecting yourself from "disappointment" by convincing yourself you want another girl? Reason I ask, not making that "you must want a boy" assumption, is I think that is what I did. All the way through I had a gut feeling about what I was having then right at the last minute changed my mind and like most mums had the best baby in the world irrespective of gender!!

Very small boys really are quite girly anyway the boyishness doesnt really kick in until 3 in my experience by which time you would love him to bits anyway.

strongteabag · 09/03/2007 14:33

My boys are wonderful, I actually wanted boys- SHOCK HORROR!! And I could easily have another couple, I have 3 under 4 1/2 so far.

I think one reason you want another girl is the fact that you love your DD so much that you want more of the same, IYSWIM? Trust me, when the baby is born it won't make any difference what gender it is.

I don't want to turn this into a thread that defends boys, I easily could! My boys are obsessed with Charlie and Lola, all sorts of role play. DS1 reads his school books and like doing sums and mazes, but his main obsession is teddys and his baby brother. DS2 likes cooking, baking and CARS. Boys are human beings, wonderful cuddly creatures who need lots of love and mothering. They are fun and funny, adore their Mummy. What you see is what you get, they are honest, not superficial.

I also think it's easier to keep boys on the straight and narrow as they get older if you get them into sport/football/karate etc.

I am so lucky that I will have every Saturday afternoon to myself while DH and Grandad takes them to the football!

I feel so so lucky to have 3 lovely boys, all different but wonderful. Don't make yourself ill with the thought of having a boy, you will love him.

The main worry I have as a Mother of boys...and I can already see it at DS's school, is that girls can belittle boys and this carries on even when they become men. Boisterous boys can be seen as naughty boys, rather then 'playful'. FGS some of the comments on here are derogatory, I really hope my DS's don't get this sort of thing, boys can be very sensitive.
Sorry, going OTT now!

TenaLady · 09/03/2007 14:35

Wantingmorepink, you will kick yourself later when you get all the back chat and bitching when they are all teenagers. Your boy will be there loving and steady as ever and will give a bit of balance to an all bitch household.

Enid · 09/03/2007 14:43

oh dont use the word bitch about girls/daughters/women

its horrible, unnecessary and untrue

GRUMPYGIRL · 09/03/2007 14:48

Enid...not untrue at ALL I was a complete bitch when I was a teenager, speaking to my friends so were most of them.

TenaLady · 09/03/2007 14:48

the bitching hormones all in one house, course its true and living hell.

Aloha · 09/03/2007 14:49

I agree with that. Babies are babies, people are people. Just because you love your sons doesn't mean you have to denigrate your own sex. I have a 15 year old stepdaughter, a five year old son and a two year old daughter and they are all yummy.

TenaLady · 09/03/2007 14:51

wtf? Im not decrying any sex, fact is I use the word as a description of not only the fair sex but the attitude that goes with it at when they turn 11!

If you have any daughters at this age and above that are all sweetness and light and not sniffing around boys, send them this way they are a rare specy and should be treated with kid gloves.

Enid · 09/03/2007 14:51

well don'#t big up boys at the expense of women

silly and unconvincing

Enid · 09/03/2007 14:52

well it is ahorrible description

I hope your dds dont hear you calling them that

TenaLady · 09/03/2007 14:53

Boys are bl**dy nuisance when they turn in to men but rarely a nuisance to their mothers usually to their wifes

TenaLady · 09/03/2007 14:54

Oh Enid, he already tells me boys are best!

Overrun · 09/03/2007 14:56

I too feel very protective of boys, having three, and the bad press they get. I see happy but boistorous boys being labelled as "out of control" and sometimes Mothers of girls, looking on in horror as they race around the room
But I really don't think the OP was saying this.
I think as much as I wanted a girl, I am a bit guilty of not finding the good things in girls. I know rationally that they are all different, but I find myself generalising about little girls. Being annoyed by their girliness, I know, not fair. I'm sure it has come about through protecting myself from my initial disapointment about not having a daugther.
What I am trying to say, is that all this, is very complex. I think some people are over simplifying

snowleopard · 09/03/2007 14:59

WMP, think of your first pregnancy and how what was about to happen was a complete leap into the unknown, you could not imagine what having a baby would be like - but it was still a change you wanted and looked forward to. Try to think of having a boy the same way - if it happens, it will be a wonderful adventure and experience for you all, even if you can't imagine it now.

I come from a family of three girls and when I was pg I was sure it was a girl - it was a boy and he's fab. Sometimes what you don't expect or think you can deal with turns out to be lovely. And who's to say he won't like pink and gliiter?

Original poster
WantingMorePink · 09/03/2007 15:20

well, I'd be quite happy living in bitch house but having a boy is not going to change the fact that I have 3 girls (or are we to call them bitches????). I never said anything negative about boys so can't really understand the need to put down girls.

This is not about me saying girls are better than boys, it is me saying I want a girl as I believe it would be better for OUR family.

OP posts:
Aloha · 09/03/2007 15:38

But you don't know. You have absolutely no idea how another girl or boy would fit into your family - you are imagining various scenarios but none of them are real. People are notoriously bad at guessing how things will turn out!

NotanOtter · 09/03/2007 15:38

girls are bitches - fun to dress up and nice hair

MINNIE1 · 09/03/2007 15:56

I have 2DD and love them to bits. I will be trying again (not for a while mind you 11 months between them!) I wanted a girl the second time to have a friend for DD1. A boy could have been a friend aswell but i felt it would have been nice for them at a close age to share cloths and go out together and mind each other. When i go for no 3 i would love a boy and i think the girls will love to have a brother.
WantingMorePink it wont be the end of the world, i bet if you have a boy and get the first 3 months over (alway the hardest) you will settle well and the girls will love him, its always great to be the big sister and have a small brother to boss about. Please stop worrying it will all sort itself out in time.

TaylorsMummy · 09/03/2007 15:58

i can't believe this thread is for real!!

i think you need to see a counseller before you have your baby because if this is for real and it's a boy you are going to get very down about it.

Some people feel lucky to have any baby and there you are getting worried about what it is. I think grumpygirl might be right, r you sure you don't really want a boy and trying to cover it up because you know you will be upset? i can't imagine wanting 4 of all one sex!!

Ash80 · 09/03/2007 16:06

From what ive read no one really seems to have prefered having a boy when pregnant!!...I was secretly hoping for a girl too, but when i i found out i was having a boy i was so happy and realised that i didn't mind what the sex of the baby was...

aragon · 09/03/2007 16:11

Not sure what your reasons are for not wanting a boy. I am guessing (without reading through rest of thread) that you are used to girls and boys seem an alien species.

All I can say is try not to let the worry ruin your pregnancy and the scan. I have a boy (my one and only child due to fertility problems) and I wouldn't change him for the worlds - he's fabulous, funny and cuddly. If you have a boy I bet yours will be just the same.

sweetkitty · 09/03/2007 16:32

I think WMP has had a bit of a hard time on here, I think we all deep down have a gender preference even if we don't admit it. However, it's different having a preference whilst being pregnant than when the baby comes along I'm sure WMP will adore which ever flavour she gets and be wondering why she ever thought how she did.

I have 2 DDs who I totally and utterly adore I was delighted DD2 was a DD and do overly defend wanting another DD as everyone assumed we would have the matching pair and then stop (why do people tell you you must have one of each them stop why??) I would love another baby boy or girl, I think DP wants a boy as the thought of 2 teenage girls having boyfriends around is already giving him nightmares.

batters · 09/03/2007 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beanie2bump · 09/03/2007 16:39

i only wished in pregnancy. i had your worries, i really do

for some people they have real concerns to make themselves sick over,

maybe people who have been through hell and back to have a child may feel rather annoyed at such a comment, as they really have suffered to go through pregnancy or to get pregnant even or to carry a baby to term,

i myself am on my fourth pregnancy, and i only have one child, my first baby was stillborn at 37 week , he had a birthdefect , which i have to carry this concern that subsequent children may have, so in pregnancy i have this to worry about, , which involved untold testing, supervision during pregnancy etc etc

ever moment of my second pregnancy i was concerned, that yet another baby of mine would pass away, the day before i gave birth, i feel asleep with a doppler to my stomach crying praying,

surely you can see why some people, are annoyed at such a fickle comment,

pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ScummyMummy · 09/03/2007 16:43

Completely agree batters and Enid re the word bitch. I can't believe anyone would refer to a little girl using this word.
wmp- I agree you've had a tough time on this thread. I hope all will be well whatever gender your baby turns out to be and really think it is a matter of adjustment. My earlier post was tongue in cheek but I really did have a marked preference for girls and was convinced i was carrying twin girls. And I really couldn't love my boys more. They are fab. I came to terms with their boyness practically as soon as I saw them.