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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

20 week scan soon, am scared baby might be a boy

252 replies

WantingMorePink · 09/03/2007 10:04

Have 3 lovely girls and am pg with 4th. I am hoping beyond hope that this baby is another girl. My scans on Tuesday and I'm making myself ill with thoughts it might be a boy.

I've been so lucky so far with getting girls, just praying its another beautiful girl. Anyone else have a gender preference?

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luxlife · 10/03/2007 11:51

and what's up with this sex preference thing? i have a friend that cant imagine having a boy, only a girl. and she is not even pregnant yet!

i think its bizarre how people think gender defines personality and character. this friend of mine, for example, thinks she can relate better to a woman's world. well, my sister is gay and has been since we were children (even though she only came out on her 30's). guess what, my mom couldnt make her wear a dress, stop playing football, get a boyfriend...

babies, children, is only a fraction of our life spam. we all turn into adults pretty quickly and thats what we remain for the rest of our parents' lives. so who cares if its a boy or a baby girl?

charlottegeorgiaolivermums · 10/03/2007 12:00

had 2 dd's and when dd2 was born was a little upset as really though she was a boy. When feel pg again was scared alway tough that i'd have another girl so at 32 weeks paid for sex scan turned out it was the son i wanted. now my family is complete 2dd and 1ds and i'd not change 1 of them for the world. I find your commends confusing but my auntie said she only wanted 5 boys and that was because he dh was on of 5 boys and his parents adopted their daughter. so she though she would never have a girl so why get her hopes up better to state you don't want a girl when you don't like you'll ever have one saves heart acre when another boy comes along. But she had her girl 3rd time round and only went on to have 1 more boy. Do you really not want a boy or is it that you do really want one but don't think it will ever happen.

charlottegeorgiaolivermums · 10/03/2007 12:03

should just add that although i really wanted a boy when i found out i was having ds found the idea of having male sex organs growing inside difficult to take only have male sex organs in me when I want them

suejonez · 10/03/2007 12:05

I adopted and had the opportunity to state a preference of girl or boy. I really wanted a girl but decided not to specify. As a result I got a boy and he is so lovely that I'm horrified that I might have missed the opportunity to be a part of his life if I had done the girl thing.

BabyMadwithBump · 10/03/2007 12:05

I'm one of ten, there was me and then my 8 brothers followed and I now have a four year old sister, because there is 22 year between us, she feels more like a friends baby/child rather than my sister. Each time my mother had a baby and it was a boy "oh it's a boy better luck next time" even though my brothers were perfect, health, so very sweet and loving she never wanted them because she wanted a girl and that was that! So she kept trying and trying, the worse thing about it my brother know they wasn't wanted just because they were boys, breaks my heart. I have two beautiful boys myself 7yrs and almost 5yrs and would never swap them for a girl in a million years and I'm now PG with my 3rd and DH wants a girl I keep going mad at him all I want is a health happy baby, weather it be a girl or boy, having three boys would be a god send, as it would be to having two boys and a girl!

Beauregard · 10/03/2007 12:05

It always bugs me when people say that they 'want' a boy or they 'want ' a girl .I do realise that when some mothers to be say it they are just expressing a preference but the way in which the op has described her feelings is wrong imo.
Fgs people should consider themselves blessed to have 'a' baby.
I have 2 dd's and would love a 3rd child but when the time comes i wont mind what the sex of the child is .
Some people have all girls, some all boys and others have the variety of both but at the end of the day a healthy child and mother is the outcome everyone wishes for.

GRUMPYGIRL · 10/03/2007 12:12

Oh I think a lot of people have an idea they would like a boy or a girl, what I really cannot understand is why you would get in such a pickle worrying about it.

So many people struggle to have a baby of AT ALL and would give their eye teeth to have a boy OR a girl!

That you come out of hospital healthy is FAR more important.

maveta · 10/03/2007 12:19

I am one of three girls and my mum one of 5 girls so when I initially fell pregnant my preference deep down was for a girl, just out of fear of the unknown I guess. Pretty early on I convinced myself it was a boy and that was confirmed at our 2nd scan. Right away I was pleased as punch and realised it really didn´t matter either way.

IMHO you may have a lovely relationship with your girls now but as we probably all know from our own experiences, mother-daughter relationships go through some fraught times when adolescence and adulthood sets in whereas on the whole boys seem to have a much more accepting view of their mums.

I´m not trying to imply that your rel with your girls will go sour, just that you really would be blessed either way, all girls because it´s what you know and also to have a boy would bring a lovely balance to your family and give you a different kind of relationship to that which you currently have as a mother. You enjoy the girls while they are little because they are so girly and lovely but you might find yourself loving having a cuddly little boy who adores his mummy when your girls are slamming doors and being all hormonal!

kittypants · 10/03/2007 12:24

id love another child of either sex but cannot the fact youre bothered either way upsets me terribly.neither sex is better(unless ofcourse youre 6 years old and argueing in playground!!)
maybe the op was worded wrong,but you cannot be shocked at peoples responses.

winniepoo · 10/03/2007 12:42

don't worry if it's a boy you can always sell it on ebay and perhaps even buy a girl, or perhaps someone on the maternity ward might do a swap - you never know until you ask!

Original poster
wantingmorepink · 13/03/2007 19:32

Well I had my scan today and the good news is baby appears happy and healthy. Unfortunately they couldn't tell the gender as baby had umbilical cord between legs and sonographer wasn't going to give me a guess either way.

Not sure how I feel, am considering a private scan but don't really have the money for it.

OP posts:
Miaou · 13/03/2007 19:36

Oh WMP, how ironic after all your worry! It's possible you will end up with further scans to check on the baby so it might not be your last chance to find out. In the meantime, I am very pleased to hear that the baby is OK and hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well.

kayzr · 13/03/2007 19:38

Sorry you couldn't find out. I hope at least knowing your baby is ok will be enough.

Original poster
wantingmorepink · 13/03/2007 19:38

Thanks Miaou,

I usually get pre-eclampsia so have had growth scans in the past from 32 weeks .........feeling strangely calm about things

Was lovely to see my baby

OP posts:
tribpot · 13/03/2007 19:43

Given the strength of your reaction, it might be worth having a private scan, so that you are mentally ready for what is to come. Great news that the baby is healthy, and hopefully you can use the time remaining in the pregnancy productively to get yourself into the right frame of mind if need be.

I hope that in a few months you will look back at this thread and laugh that you were so upset about the possibility of a boy, but it would be a real shame to let this issue intrude into the baby's first months if you could get help now.

Miaou · 13/03/2007 20:50

I'm pleased to see the smiley, WMP!

paddyclamp · 15/03/2007 15:04

I feel lucky to have one of each, DS first then DD.

I don't think people can slag WMP off for bein brave enough to admit she has a preference. But i can't believe people get so het up on a baby's gender.

The world congratulates you if you have one of each, it even started in the hosp. People whose 2nd child was same sex as first just got "oh never mind, better luck next time".

I'll admit that i wanted one of each, but if i'd had another boy i would have been fine with that.

The boys are better girls are better arguments piss me off. Every child is individual. My DD is not into pink / glitter/ barbie - she's happier playing with her big brother's lego! OK, so my DS is a stereotypical boy - and he's amazing! They both are, cos of who they are, not what they are.

Can't believe "bitch" was used to describe girls. That's just bloody offensive. I teach teenagers and there are lots of lovely girls out there, could count on one hand the number who were "bitches"

chipmonkey · 15/03/2007 15:45

winniepoo, don' joke about that! I remember over here a few years ago there was a newspaper story here (Ireland) about a distraught father walkin around the postnatal ward with his newborn 3rd dd, asking if anyone would swap her for a boy!

chipmonkey · 17/03/2007 00:14

By the way, my mum had my brother after 3 girls and although I remember being a bit put out by the interloper at first, we got very fond of him! I was kind of glad in a way because my younger sister wanted to call the new baby a name I hated if it was a girl and my Mum was going to go along with it!

Baconbaps · 17/03/2007 00:38

Haven't read the whole thread but just wanted to say I felt the same way as the OP. I've got two teenage daughters and always wanted girls. I just could not imagine myself with a boy at all. When I got pregnant last year I hoped for a girl but decided not to find out the sex beforehand and convinced myself it was a boy so I could get used to the idea (I did the same with DD2 and was so happy she was a girl!)

So, I gave birth to my son last December and initially, what with the extremely quick labour and all, I was a bit dazed and deflated when they said it was a boy. As soon as they got me up to the ward and it was just me and him (everyone asleep, all calm and soft lights) - I gazed at him properly and instantly fell in love. He is the most gorgeous boy ever and I can't imagine ever being worried that I wouldn't bond with him.

You see, it turns out I didn't want a boy - I wanted my boy and I got him. I'm sure you'll be the same if you have a son.

Kif · 17/03/2007 01:10

sisters love little brothers. Brings out their maternal side!

marieg76 · 19/03/2007 13:33

My husband is the only son in a family of four and I can quite honestly say that he doesn't mind either way. He just adores children and is incredibly excited about being a dad. For me, I enjoy wonderful relationships with both my brother and sister so have absolutely no preference at all. I'm just over the moon to be pregnant.

NuttyMuffins · 19/03/2007 13:40

I had a boy after having 2 girls and before i foubd out that it was a boy i got quite stressed over it, because it just seemed like it would be so different to having a girl and that I wouldn't know what to do with him.

Found out at the 20 week scan that it was a boy and so went straight out and had a bit of a spending spree on baby boys clothes which helped.

In the end I had a few probs during the pregnancy and by the end I just wanted him out safe and well and had more or less forgotten about my doubts about having a boy.

When he was delivered I was overjoyed....the fact that he was a boy and what the hell would i do with him has never entered my head since then. He is my little star and I love him to bits as do his sisters.

kittywaitsfornumber6 · 19/03/2007 14:08

wantingmorepink. Tbh I'm really quite upset by your post. You should be very, very thankful that you have a healthy baby full stop. I must say I feel sorry for the baby if it is a chap, let's hope for your baby's sake that it is a girl

kiteflying · 20/03/2007 14:22

My partner and I were worried early on that we each "wanted" the opposite of each other, although both outwardly said we were just delighted with a baby of either sex. We have found that now we are in second trimester and are brave enough to start choosing names, this has really helped. I now wish we were having twins as I can't imagine life without either one of my imaginary little boy or my imaginary little girl.

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