Bleeding, waiting for repeat scans, worried about viability etc – let’s unite in limbo!

[MrsMcJnr]

Ladies, I know there are quite a few of us in this category and I am conscious that although the lovely ladies on here are supporting us on every thread we post on, I am worried that we are spoiling their own pregnancy experience by worrying so I thought I?d set this up for those who really don?t know if things are going one way or the other. Thought it might help us to get through the days/weeks until we do know what?s going on.

For those who don?t know me (though I?m a prolific poster ) here?s me in a nutshell: Based on LMP I?m 9+4 weeks (9+1 based on suspected OV). First pregnancy (though had early termination 10 years ago). TTC for 8 cycles to get here. Got BFP 26/1. Some spotting that week so sent to EPU on 23/1 for early scan. Gestational sac seen by external scan and yolk also seen by internal scan. Measured only 11.4mm though so only 5+5/6 weeks. Was rescheduled for scan 7/3 to see if things had changed. Given 50/50 chance. Started heavy bleeding 1/3. Had emergency scan 2/3. Told sac still there and has grown. Repeat scan scheduled for 9/3. In the meantime, more heavy bleeding, clots, cramps and much anguish.

I just wish I knew what was going on! Please join me.

Morning Mrs Mc
sorry to hear it's still bad. I'd have to be realistic and say it doesn't sound too good, being bright red and so much, but there are stories of hope from this too. Can i ask have you seen a heartbeat at all? and was the growth last week correct for dates, if yes to both of these, it sounds hopeful.
I really didn't want this for you, it suxs.

Milly M - so sorry to read you are stressing about the hosp appt.
If the drive is worrying you - can you afford to treat yourself to a cab... just this once... you are precious & deserve it!

I always forget to take something really good to read... or maybe an ipod/walkman to listen to something relaxing - may be worth a go??

As for listening to the outcome - yes - that is always hard... if it's bad news I get blinkered if it's good news I'm too excited to concentrate! Do you normally take a pen & paper? .... I try to write things down so I can look them up later. Don't be afraid to ask them to repeat or explain again - it is their job to care (I know, it doesn't always feel they do)

Thank you sunshinedays I can't really afford a taxi unfortunately,plus around here they are few and far between and you tend to have to book them well in advance- I just didn't think about the logistics of it all in time.
Good suggestion about the book - I've popped my Ian Rankin into my handbag. There is nothing worse than sitting there trying to avoid eye contact with other people!
Good call on the pen and paper too - I always forget what has been said and then worry about that too. Can you spot the fact that I am a perpetual worrier?
I'm leaving in half an hour.....oh my god....panic...
Sweetbean, I know you'll probably be at the hospital by now, but thinking of you x

Good luck Milly

fingers crossed for you milly
(My doctor mate's advice in consultancy appts is to always ask 'what happens next? what is my symptoms stay the same/get worse/go away - what are the implications of each of these?'
That way when things change next week ( as they always do!) you have a sense of what it means

I'm back! Fp,wish I'd seen that post before I went, they'd have been really good questions to ask, perhaps I'll put them to my midwife next week and see what she says.

Right- I sat in that waiting room with a sense of dread (made worse when a new mum bought her cute mini baby in and it started doing that lovely cry that newborns have - it was all I could do not to cry!). Everyone was lovely and guess what...I could see a tiny tiny baked bean with a mini heartbeat. I'm in shock . No one can explain the bleeding but the consultant booked me in for my 12 week scan, is the fact they don't want to see me before good news? I've got a direct number for the EPAU lady if there are any new problems.
They also found a cyst on my right ovarywhich they said may account for some of the side painI've been getting, but not the period type pain.
Now I'm faced with the fact I've probably got to tell my boss - I figure she can probably / hopefully(?) help me more if she knows what is happening.
Still feel in limbo, still dreading going to the loo and finding another bleed but at least I've seen hope. x

Sorry - got carried away with my message - Sweetbean, any news? Was thinking about you all through the scan sweetie x

Milly
hugs, how wonderful...bless you and baked bean.

Thank you mmk - it all seems a little unreal. Like when you get some good news but you can't quite bring yourself to believe it's true.

hurray - brilliant news Milly!! As you know, my ds & dd are living testimony to the fact that you can bleed throughout pg (unfortunetly) with no ill effects...and indeed no real diagnosis!!
I think they tend to say that seeing a heartbeat early is usually a really good sign too.
Really hope everything goes smoothly for you now ... & good luck to everyone else on the thread too

That's fab News Milly
Bet you must be relieved

Thank you fp and whoops, let's hope the good news keeps coming for all (and that it all remains good.) The sonographer - is that the right word?- said something about the cyst being good too as it shows hormones are high. Should have asked consultant more about that.
Any news from sweetbean yet?

Milly -- that's phantastic news!!! What a relieve this must be! I am very happy for you!

Great news Milly. Get loads of rest... if you are not too excited!

Right - how are the rest of you doing???

Thanks to everyone yet again !!!

But sadly they found no baby on the scan and i had another pg test it was neg.
so looks like i don't even fit in on this thread. Sorry for the post but i feel terrilble,like iv'e lost something but that i don't even have the right to feel sad!
It feels like i never was pg at all that the line on the 3 tests that said BFP ment nothing i can't get to upset as i alrealy have a beautiful DD, and i was only 5 weeks gone so not like alot of you how have it much much worse!!! but i still feel so sad at least its all over which is good!!
but it also meens no hope!

Thank you so much for all your support you have been there when No One else has and that meens so much to me thank you all again and i hope that everything works out just perfect for you all!!!
I send all my love to you all and wish you ther very best thank you xxxxxxxx

Wait a min Sweetbean - don't go just yet! We're not all quite what the header says. The reason I'm on here is because I had the same kind of bleeding MrsMcJnr had - though my outcome was the same as yours... about the same number of weeks. If you are anything like me you are soon do have a bit of a emotional meltdown. I howled, cried, stamped and shouted. I even shut myself in a wardrobe for a while (... it was a walk-in). I had a huge shift of hormones and a huge hunk of grief to shake off. I needed to cry.
... if you get this..we're here to support you through it.

((((((HUG)))))))

Oh sweetbean, we are all feeling for you. You do fit on this thread. Any loss is a loss, and you have every right to feel everything you are feeling.
You were pg, and that little teeny was your baby. He/she needed a mummy for it's 5 1/2 weeks and you were a good choice.

I'm not sure what 'no hope' means in your case, but nowadays, all things are possible.

It is so important to share your feelings now,so please do so.
Things will come right for you.
Hugs and heartfelt sympathy to you

Mmk ? thanks for the reassurance

MillyM ? oh yeah!!!!! Excellent news, I am so so so so pleased hon, I really, really am! almost in tears for you (and would be if I wasn?t at my desk in open plan office) Sorry I wasn?t here earlier to get you through the wait. I?m reading Ian Rankin at the mo too.

Uki ? thank you for giving me your honest opinion. No HB at all but then the sac is so small so they said they wouldn?t expect to. The growth was not correct for my dates but was correct for a week of growth if that makes sense.

Sunshinedays ? very good point about the pen and paper, I should do that.

Funnypeculiar ? good point about what?s next.

Sweetbean ? thinking of you hon. Of course you have the right to feel sad hon, don?t deprive yourself of that. You still belong in limbo land with us until you decide to try again or otherwise and remember to be kind to your mind and your body, you?ve both been through an awful lot.

Oh sweetbean, I'm so sorry to hear that hon . MMK put it beautifully though and I agree with what she says about you being a mummy for those 5 weeks. Of course it is still a loss and a big one for you, you have every right to stamp your feet and cry. Please do stay on here (if only because it will stop me searching your name to find news and make me feel less like a stalker!) as others have said, we are here to support and that support continues when limbo is over in one way or the other. Sending you really big hugs chick. Milly x

Oh sweetbean, I am so sorry. At least you know now where you stand and can start the grieving process (sorry, if my comments are a little egocentric I almost wish I would have negative pg-test so that there would be some resolution....), Talked to the EPU totday and they said they won't take any action for another two weeks at least. Please yall stick around a little longer for me!!!! and MrsMcJnr!!!

Sorry to hear that Sweetbean
Like the others have said stick around and chat to us as we know how you are feeling

Morning ladies

MillyM Im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pleased for you babe that amazing seing that littel bean makes everything feel ok again im over the moon for you hun !! sorry that i didn't say so sooner but i hadn't read all the posts

Glimmer Im so sorry that you have to wait 2 weeks it must be terrible ((((((hugs))))))

Thanks again for all he advise and support your all amazing but im sure you have all been told that many times before! thank you ladies X X X X