Bleeding, waiting for repeat scans, worried about viability etc – let’s unite in limbo!

[MrsMcJnr]

Ladies, I know there are quite a few of us in this category and I am conscious that although the lovely ladies on here are supporting us on every thread we post on, I am worried that we are spoiling their own pregnancy experience by worrying so I thought I?d set this up for those who really don?t know if things are going one way or the other. Thought it might help us to get through the days/weeks until we do know what?s going on.

For those who don?t know me (though I?m a prolific poster ) here?s me in a nutshell: Based on LMP I?m 9+4 weeks (9+1 based on suspected OV). First pregnancy (though had early termination 10 years ago). TTC for 8 cycles to get here. Got BFP 26/1. Some spotting that week so sent to EPU on 23/1 for early scan. Gestational sac seen by external scan and yolk also seen by internal scan. Measured only 11.4mm though so only 5+5/6 weeks. Was rescheduled for scan 7/3 to see if things had changed. Given 50/50 chance. Started heavy bleeding 1/3. Had emergency scan 2/3. Told sac still there and has grown. Repeat scan scheduled for 9/3. In the meantime, more heavy bleeding, clots, cramps and much anguish.

I just wish I knew what was going on! Please join me.

Glimmer that's great news I'm really pleased that everything is ok
Sorry we are moving house - I wasn't really feeling too great when I posted that and didn't realise it didn't make much sense!
The huge chain is that there are loads of other sales & purchases link with us buying the house as we are at the bottom of the chain
I feel shattered now so I think I'm going to just curl up and go to sleep!

Whoops ? I?m sure you are tired, one day at a time hey? Very annoying about the chain, we don?t have that system in Scotland but I do understand how it works. Hope you get a date soon. I have been feeling that nothing is going our way too, on Sat we went for the train to have a long, leisurely lunch with DH?s folks and SIL for Mother?s Day only to find that there were engineering works and DH drove instead and was in a foul mood and then yesterday the people that came to see our house (after me getting up really early to hoover it all) said the garden was too small!! Grrrrr?

Glimmer ? thank you for your lovely post, you are so right, MN and the lovely ladies on here really do help

I am SO delighted about your news I am so glad one of us had good news, I was thinking that the stats on here had been pretty bad for things working out and I am so pleased that they seem to be for you Please don?t hesitate to tell us, we need to know that good things can happen and faith and hope are worth it . I really hope that things continue to do well and I?ll be praying for you (Greedy is back from her hols now and still having bleeds so if you need a chum in a similar position I?m sure she?d be delighted to chat) Keep us posted hon, we are here for you anytime

Taichimum ? sometimes sleep can be the best medicine can?t it I?m enjoying it again now as the nightmares have stopped. My Mother?s other comments included ?are your boobs still enormous?? (I?m a 32E normally and she?s a 36B and never coped well with that!) She really doesn?t mean any harm but she just doesn?t know what to say (best she didn?t say anything really!!).

I'm feeling a bit better this morning - still can't help wondering why me but I suppose that's life it just upsets me that the last few house moves have gone wrong nothing seems to run smoothly in my life!
I'm guessing the main part of this is y hormones adjusting too.
MRsMcJnr - We used to livein Scotland so know the system there although it wasn't an awful lot different to here!

whoops, sometimes life does bring us a lot of difficult situations and all at once. i couldnt help to read your post and add my own story here: stillbirth of our first baby at 30 weeks, followed by being kicked out of our nice new flat (long story), followed by being bitten by a new adopted dog and losing the dog back to the shelter. yes, life sucks sometimes!

i have a strong belief that life only brings you what you can handle, and its for my personal growing and good. also, if life is too calm, we accomodate and stop growing. dont get me wrong, there are days that i feel like crap, but i try to stay positive most of the time.

AHA! found this thread again! glimmer - that is fab! like mrs said, your situation sounds very similar to mine, so try not to panic too much if you get more bleeding. guess i shouldn't say that yet........my 12 week scan is tomorrow.

Hi Greedy. All the best for your scan!
Let us know what you'll learn!
I am hopeful since it's the furthest I have ever gotten but the bleeding has increased considerably since yesterday. I try and tell myself it's because my circulation is increased, but am still worrying. But there is absoltely nothing I can do, is there? Thanks for your godd wished everybody!

Got everything crossed for you. Do you any existing dc's and how many babes have you lost in the past? You sound like you have a bit of a history in this area, so wishing you extra special luck for this one.

jabuti - you are right about life being given what you can handle and as someone else said to me is that everything else seems twice as bad too!

Greedy good luck with your scan

Glimmer - of course you're going to worry but get it checked again if it seems worse.
I've now got the dilemma of do we try again now or wait part if me wants to get on and try straight away and then I have the sensible side that says to wait til all the house stuff & stress etc is over and try then

Bella - how are you?

I know what you mean whoops about trying again. I am not sure either. Part of me can't bear to be pg again after several months of all this pg trauma but the other half of me wants a baby so bad I just wnat to go for it.
Good luck with the house move. It is a really stressful time but at least it will give you something else to think about.

Whoops ? Glad you are feeling a bit better I think the hormones do plague you, that?s certainly how I feel. I had a migraine yesterday so stayed away from the PC (typical ? being ill on my own time! I?m thinking of stopping temping until I get AF (let?s hope I don?t) my temps are still way below my coverline and I am meant to be cd21 today so I really don?t know if I am going to OV or not, I?m finding it so stressful, I guess I am putting a lot of effort into hoping that it will happen this cycle but I think I?m setting myself up for a fall.

Jabuti ? sorry about all your bad luck, I truly hope it has improved since. You are right on your philosophy though, only dead fish swim downstream!

Greedy ? I knew you?d support Glimmer, can?t wait to hear how you got on today (you?ll have to share you baby with me until I get another of my own ? I know I can say that to you and you?ll know what I mean without thinking I am some weirdo!

Glimmer ? how are you feeling now? Sorry to hear that there is more bleeding, it is so scary but you must try and stay positive and hopeful, it does help you through it Huge hugs.

Hi Taichimum how are you feeling?

Hey Bella, how are you?

hi mrs, thanx. things have improved but... i cant ignore what has happened, or i choose not to. however the wounds are slowly healing .

(we do have to move again, found out this house has mould and the landlord wont do a thing about it. but at least this time we are staying for a whole year here instead of 3 months)

hey mrs! you weirdo!

Jabuti - of course you cannot forget, nor should you, it's a big thing in your life but I am pleased that things have improved Hope the move goes well.

Greedy - !!

Hi ladies
I hope everyone is ok, im thinking of you all even though im not wrighting !!!!!!

Hi ladies, this is MillyM in my original guise and I also wanted to say hi and I'm still thinking about you all. I feel really guilty for not posting regularly when you were all so supportive there are a thousand and one excuses but I won't bore you with them. Suffice to say I'm still watching this thread and have my fingers crossed for each and every one. x

Hi all. I guess most of use had some sort of resolutionin the last weeks. I am still in the game, but still bleeding and have another scan in 10 days (will be 8 weeks then). I am much more relaxed after the first scan but can't wait to make it so eight weeks....
All the best to you and hi Milly/Honour.

Glimmer - will be thinking of you with the scan,glad to hear you're less stressed about this one. Take care hon

Glimmer - will be thinking of you too and keeping fingers crossed that your little one holds on

Glimmer we all have our fingers crossed for you.
Not checked in for a while. Been too down to post. I am back at work today but I am miserable. Feel like I am going to burst into tears all the time. I am fully functioning on the surface but underneath I am a mess
Not one but two pg women sat opposite me on the train this morning. Some luck.
How is everyone else?

Hi there
Sorry not posted for a while but I had my scan on Wednesday and then moved house on Thursday! I was such a nervous wreck before my scan as I had convinced myself that the 2 bleeds I had had were bad news that I was in tears in the waiting room before I even got in there. The news was good though as the baby was still there and had a heartbeat. The bleeding had been it's twin who sadly hadn't made it - there was a blood clot where it had tried to implant. I hope my good news doesn't make you all feel worse as you have been so supportive and I would hate to make your losses even more painful. I still have a long way to go (am only 7 weeks!) and am still petrified! My next scan is Apr 5 so keeping my fingers crossed for that!
I'm thinking of you all and hoping you feel ok today.
xxx

Hello,
I wondered if I could join this 'limbo' thread (hopefully not for too long iyswim!). Just don't really know what to do with myself.
I'm 11wks, 3 days pregnant with no.3 but have had some bleeding. I spotted at the very beginning, then had a bit of a scary bleed on Friday morning- a fair bit of blood- very fresh, but quite dark. It didnt last for long at all and the doctor said to put my feet up til my scan (previously booked) on tuesday.
Bled again this morning- bit more this time. No pain though whivh I supose is good. But dont feel pregnant anymore (apart from v sore boobs!). I dont know what to make of it- never bled at all previous two pregnancies so feel like its a sign of something bad. But cant bear this limbo thing- have sort of gone into hiding! Some freinds know I'm pregnant, but not all and just cant bear thought of talking to anyone- just saying I've got flu and cancelling arrangements etc.

I do feel immensely lucky to have two beautiful ds's already and I know for some women who are trying for their first this sort of experience must be unbearable.

Oh, I just feel weird and sad (and a bit sorry for myself) and I don't even know whats happening in there yet. Feel should be positive and send good vibes to my womb or something (!) but can't ignore strange pessimism upon me, and if all is ok, where is the bloody blood coming from???! Also, if I do miscarry, I'm terrified about what to expect- how much blood etc. in all the books it says you can pass 'tissue' cant bear to think about this- I'm sure foetus is fairly sustantial at this stage.
Sorry so long and whingey. Sigh.

Hello Sweetbean

Hello Honor/Milly don?t feel guilty, this is a transient thread for those in need at any time and it?s great that you don?t feel the need to be here anymore apart from visiting I feel the same but am back to see if I can help anyone the way you helped us! How are you now? Feeling good?

Glimmer you are right, it?s good for us all to see that we survived the limbo, one way or another. So glad you are feeling more relaxed, I hope the next scan goes really well, let us know and take great care of yourself and that precious bean in the meantime

Whoops ? how are you feeling now hon?

Taischimum ? it?s a shock when you go back, you feel so sensitive to everything. Take it easy and it?ll soon be over for the day Sorry to hear you are so low we?re here for you if it helps. I feel a lot stronger and more able to cope with what?s happened. Don?t get me wrong, I still have very dark days and my emotions go from despair to fury in a few minutes but I?m better than I was. Managed to persuade my GP to test me for blood clotting issues yesterday so that was a bonus. I?m desperate to be pg again, I miss everything about it (but mostly my baby, and I know that it?ll be different next time round because it?s not her ? I?m prepared for that) I am cd27 today but no evidence that I?d ovulated so I guess I need to be patient until things start working again .

Hello Bella I?m so pleased that you got some good news, that?s great! Delighted for you! Sorry about the twin that must have been hard to hear, sending you hugs! It?s so good when it works out; we really have had outcomes both ways on this thread. Though I am one of the unlucky ones, it does give you faith and hope that next time things will be better. Please don?t worry about sharing good news, we need to know it happens and you have been through a lot too. Good luck for the next scan and let us know how you get on. Hope the house move wasn?t too exhausting!

Welcome ImagineryImogen ? I?m sure I speak for all the others when I say that we?d love to help you through and make you feel better if we can. Limbo is a very lonely time as we all found out. There?s no doubt that bleeding is very scary.

From all the things I read, I would say the following though; you?re just at the point where things are changing quite a bit, the bleed could be to do with the placenta or with your lining sorting itself out or even due to the fact this could have been when your AF was due and that your body is having a spring clean. There could be many reasons and one of the hardest things is that you might never know why. No pain is good. Do you have a headache/ dizziness/ blurred vision or a temperature or anything like that? Isn?t it not quite common for some of the first trimester symptoms to start wearing off at the stage you are at? That might be all the lessening symptoms are plus, I was 10 weeks when I MC and still got all my symptoms for 2 ½ - 3 weeks afterwards due to the HCG levels taking a while to fade (which is apparently what creates the first trimester symptoms, not the baby)

I know exactly what you mean about retreating into yourself, I did too, cancelled everything I could and avoided everyone. Try not to worry about it, it?s just your body protecting you and people will understand. It?s really hard when you are in limbo to know how to feel and what to expect, there is so much fear. I am a positive person by nature and it knocked me for six, I knew that my chances were 50-50 and being an optimist I wanted to believe it would all be ok and wanted to have positive thoughts for my baby and quite frankly found the alternative thoughts unbearable. After a few days of being as harsh and realistic as I could and face the negatives, I was a total mess and decided to just be positive, where was the harm but I also prepared to be told the worst case scenario. It did help me to get through the wait and actually, probably to get through the worst times too. Just let you mind go where it wants, it will find a comfortable place to be until you know what?s going on. You are entitled to feel weird and sad and sorry for yourself, what you are going through is horrible and very scary. All the thinking is also emotionally draining plus you are having to get on with life for your DC too, that?s a lot to ask of yourself at the moment.

I think many people feel differently in MC and if you were to miscarry, don?t be scared, it could be painful but it might not be, you may bleed a lot or not much and even if you do pass tissue, there won?t be very much to see even at your stage. I really hope it doesn?t come to that for you but try not to be too frightened. I could tell you about my own experience if you think it would help you out of the unknown but they do say it?s different for everyone.

We?re here for you if you need us don?t hold back ? we didn?t!

Hi all. There have been some wonderful post here -- thank you all.

Bella -- good news and I am very sorry to hear that you lost a twin. But now you know the reason for your bleeding and the chances for bean 2 look good!!! My bleeding has stopped now and I am awaiting my next scan (on Apr4).

Taichimum -- so sorry you are feeling so down.
Ultimately I have no words of consolation for you, since grieving is such an experience of loneliness. But I have been there and I know exactly how you feel: times when it is hard to find the energy for the next breath. I could say now that it will get better with time and that there will be joyeous times in your life again, but I never found these comments particularly helpful, albeit they being neant very well. I send you lots of support and maybe a little engery -- quite in the Taichi sense.

Hi and welcome Imaginary. Sorry you are in limbo: Join the club! I agree with MrsMcBE that it could be just the transition but at the same time if you strongly feel it is over you might not be wrong. When I mc a part of me knew I was not pg anymore, only it was my first pregnancy and I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. Is your scan Tuesday as in today? I hope the news is good and you already might know more by now. Lot's of good wishes!

MrsMcEB do I detect a smidge of optimism in the choice of your new name? Your posts are always so sensitive and optimistic I wish I could be a little more like you.

Whoops and Sweetbean -- how are you holding up?

Honor -- so I assume you are okay and are waiting for your 12 week scan? That makes us two who bled and the bleeding didn't mean something had go wrong at the particular time of the bleeding. Hope it stays that way!!

Greedy -- hi! Hope you are well!

hi and thankyou for the lovely welcome!
Especially thanks to Mrs McEasterBunny- everything you said has made me feel better! I just can't get my head around the whole feeling positive/negative thing- but you're right, I don't have to and swaying from one to the other is fine too. My scan is today, but not til 8pm! I don't get a routine 12wk scan here so had booked a private one before the bleeds. Figured I may as well keep the appt as its a more detailed scan and they do the nuchal fold test etc. and want to know as much as possible after this scare!

So in a few hours I'll know whats happening but at the mo my biggest worry is that my mil is babysitting and I'm really not in the mood for her! She'll be all over excited going on about getting photos and dvds and stuff but if I tell her I've been bleeding she'll go all devastated and into hyper sympathy mode. Oh well, just have to see how it goes i guess.

Have just been reading some of the old posts and its great the way everyone supports each other. I think its especially imortant at this limbo time- it seems impossible to talk to people in RL- until I know what the situation is anyway. I live in a small town and because I havent been at the school gates my husband (who thankfully is off work) has been beseiged with people wanting to know where I am and whats wrong with me!
I know its just friendly concern but I feel I cant explian and just want a bit of privacy.

Anyhow, the waitings nearly over, I'll let you know how it goes.

Hope everyone else in limbo is doing ok
ii x

You are very welcome imagineryimogen So glad that you don?t have long to wait to see what?s happening with the baby, that?s fate for you! Sorry to say this but be prepared to be told there is more waiting before you are out of the woods, sometimes things are not clear after bleeds. Sorry that you have to contend with your MIL tonight. I was a bit mean to mine earlier she and FIL keep going on about TTC again quickly, immediately, right away and whilst we?d like nothing more, my body is just not ready (I haven?t ovulated yet and it?s 27 days since the MC began ) and I don?t need the stress so I told her straight out that I?m being tested for blood clotting disorders and that It?s unwise to try again now and that I?m probably infertile at the mo anyway (all this was said by my GP yesterday) I could hear my MIL?s heart sink but hey, it?s my baby not theirs!

I really hope it goes well tonight and I?ll be thinking about you.

Hello Glimmer nice to see you!