Pregnancy after mc - part 5 the support we need - luck to all

[firststar]

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ejb1976 that sounds like you are having a boy to me. They wouldn't bother describe your dh as 'apparently normal'!! My dp wants to know the sex but I'd rather not. He suggested a compromise of them writing it down for him and only him reading it, but he can be a bit gormless sometimes and would definitely say he/she by accident to me.

Becklespeckle - being starving at bedtime is a good pregnancy sign. I didn't know you had had two missed m/c, and one of them as late as 12 weeks - that's terrible. Roll on next Wednesday.

Purple - I have been through the same as you recently. Felt some definite kick, kick, kicking and then it all went quiet for a while - I too wondered if he/she had strangled himself. So just when I think I am relaxing the little seed of fear starts to grow. However, there was loads of movement this morning at 5am so I think things are actuallly OK. Good luck with scan tomorrow.

I went to ante-natal yoga yesterday. I did it to try and get me feeling more pregnant. I don't know why but I can't get that completely self-absorbed blissed-out pregnant thing going on that I had with dd. The pregnancy doesn't really feature much in my day to day life and going to the class made me realise that I still have a certain amount of detachment to it...although having said that I feel like I love this baby very much already, so a bit of a contradiction. Do you reckon it is just a question of time (am 19 weeks tomorrow) or is this natural for a second baby, or is it the fact that m/c has taken away the innocence? I really want to enjoy it as much as possible as it will probably be my last.

Mumpbump I hope she slopes off early and quietly. It sounds a bit awkward and stressful to me. We are considering getting and au pair in a couple of years if possible, so I take an interest in these things.

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Good luck with the Au pair Mumpbump, must be strange having someone else living in your house! Hopefully she'll take the hint though... Are you getting another one?
Glad I'm not the only one who gets thrush while pg Purplelostprincess, unfortunately I have in inside and out, used a pessary last week but all that did was make the outside bad again. Been given some internal cream by the doc now (yuk ), have been putting off using it but DH has started to drop hints that he is a bit frustrated at no sex! Is lovely that you can feel your baby moving, that is my favourite thing about being pg. I always used to find that my LOs used to be very quiet in the daytime when I was moving around a lot but once I relaxed they wriggled around loads! Is scary when they don't move for a while though! Hope your 20 week scan goes well tomorrow!
ejb does sound like it might be a boy for you! I have 2 and I 'knew' each time! We didn't find out with DS1 but we did with DS2 cos DH was convinced he was a girl, I knew better though...
Rubles, I loved the 'surprise' when DS1 was born but it was also lovely to know with DS2, it made it much easier for DS1 to adjust as he knew he was getting a brother. I will prob find out again this time too. DH is convinced we are having another boy as I was told by a medium recently that my last m/c was a boy and that he would come back when the time was right! I'm not sure yet. I think that a m/c takes away the innocence of pg, the first time I conceived I was so happy and positive, it hadn't occured to me I would lose it! My pgs with my DSs were definitely marked by it though and I don't assume anything now. I am trying not to worry too much, m/c last year was not too straight forward and messed things up for a while but my symptoms seem to be progressing since I bled on Sat so am trying not to think the worst.

Oh and 'hi' to Firststar!

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Ahh, that's just how I feel to Firststar, I lost my first too.

We really need to look into new premises, getting very close to 1000 posts! Any ideas for new title?

PurpleLostPrinces - all the best for your scan tomorrow. I know it's scary, but at the same time it is so much fun to see LO on the screen.... Those are my next milestones: feeling first movements and the 20 week scan.

Yes, DH will be there for the 20 weeks scan !! and I feel really bad I deprieved him of the ones I already had. On the other side he doesn't have to suffer from a hormonally imbalanced wife either, expcet phone calls at the oddest times...

Pecka and Beckle, About the bleeding: When I had the mmc, I had no bleeding whatsoever whereas with this one I bled for three weeks. Sometimes things are just opposite of what we think.

Rubles that is an interesting question. I have no kids, so I am not qualified to answer but like Firststar I am very upset that rather than being joyful, these first 12 weeks have been pure anxiety and stress for me. I have three pregnant friends (all pregnant with their first) and they have been sailing through their first 2 trimesters and I have to admit I envy them very much. I cannot say I never worry, but I can say the worries and anxieties associated with pg and mc are so much more inetsive than anything I ever experienced. And I do with that there will be a little joy at some point as well.
(I tend to be happy for about 1 week after the scan and then start deteriorating, so 8 weeks will be a long time to go....)

I also with see my GP for the first time next week. Am very cautious and will change immidiately if I am not happy with her responses. By now she must know that I have filed complaints with NHS, NHS trust, surgeries, doctors etc. and it could go either way. BTW I sent these complaint letters 8 weeks ago and havent't heard back from them yet. I do not expect much, but hope I will get at least a form letter back...

Since somebody asked: Pecka has her own thread under pregnancy and it seems her hgl has almost doubled. So very good news.

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hi thanks for thinking of me girls, have confused myself with multiple threads.

yes my hcg had almost doubled so i was much more positive but i have had some red bleeding today

Pecka -- sorry you continue to be in limbo. I had red bleed (not a lot (panty-liner managable) but bright red and fresh) for about one week very early on. I think it was week 5.
So, there is still everything possible.

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hi guys had my early scan today everything was fine saw the heartbeat and burst into tears just couldnt quite believe it was actuly there they put me at 9wks and under consultant care due to fibroids and a cyst, but no more scans till 20 wks mid july, it seems so long away think i will be staring at this picture of a blob everyday till then hopefully it will fly by.

know what you mean about the worry and anxiety and feeling like you are missing out on some blissful, pregnant state. Soemtimes I do feel sad about this, then I think about how getting a baby at the end of it is the main thing and all this will be a more fuzzy memory then.

I also worry lots about all sorts of problems the baby may have - what with my dd having special needs, through the groups she goes to and various hospital stuff, meeting families going through all sorts.. that's like my 'normal' iyswim so I'm far more aware of what could happen (don't worry though will not blather on about this. Like we don't worry enough on this thread). Again was blithly unaware of all of this 1st time round.

Was racking my brain for new thread name. Arrgghh. Dunno. What about something about hanging in there? Cos that's what we're all doing / trying to do. Erm or 'trying to be calm and optimistic but shitting it' Nah - dunno!!

How about "Pregnancy after m/c - going through it together..."? or "helping each other through the ups and downs..."?

Funnily enough, dh and I had this conversation in the car a little while ago about enjoying this pregnancy. I had my two DC's with my exhusband so this is our first together. DH said he feels bad for me that I'm not enjoying this pg and I assured him that I am but that its very different and I'm disappointed that I'm not sailing through it like I did with DS and DD. I agree that having had 2m/c's and been with SIL for an advanced m/c, does affect it quite a bit for me as I'm more aware of what can go wrong but I'm hoping that the scan tomorrow will reassure both of us. We've both been a bit detatched from this LO so far, purely out of fear but we're hoping that tomorrow's scan will be a turning point. I even suggested that we go to the shops afterwards and buy our first 'baby thing' and DH agrees - can't wait!

mad4girls -- fantastic news!

EJB - you are absolutely right -- in the end it's about the baby and not about being joyfully pregnant (well, I guess it's a little bit of both, but if I'd had to choose, I'd take the healthy baby any time...)

EJB in my opinion you should share your worries because a) a shared worry is only half a worry and b) I would like to learn and know more, so in case I should have a child with special needs, I could better cope with it, because I would have had more info.

I am not sure sure about the 'hanging in there'...at some point Daisybump will have a very different opinion... :-)

LOL Glimmer ...feeling a bit like that already

thought I'd posted earlier today, but obviously not. whilst I've been off on other threads this has been very very busy and am just catching up.

Glimmer...great news about the scan....can't believe you're that far on already.

fingernails....try to stay positive, we'll help you get through this . Was it firststar who had a mantra in the early days...maybe that needs to be invoked again?

Pecka...keeping it all crossed for you and hope you get soem positive news soon.

Becklespeckle...great news on the scan...keep us posted.

Mad4girls...that's great news. My DH and I were both sobbing uncontrollably at our first scan at 7 wks after I'd had some bleeding but they found a HB.

And thanks for the washing tips for the blanket ejb!

You may have missed all the kerfuffle yesterday and today over ante-natal thread titles....but apologies to anyone on this thread if you found the title of the last june one offensive or hurtful in anyway . In light of all of the noise made, I don't think I'm the best person to think up the next one for us here!!

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I like the 'going through it together' kind of thing - i'd want it to feel open to newbies & not cliquey at all.

Good luck Purpleprincess today.

Here we go ladies.....New Thread This Way....