Pregnancy after mc - part 5 the support we need - luck to all

[firststar]

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Morning all!

Ejb - really, really pleased to hear your news. I can't imagine how worrying it is dealing with the possibility of chromosome abnormalities as well as m/c!!

Ejt - I guess some people think that if you're signed off work, you have to be confined to your sick-bed! I agree it is worth pointing out that you got the medical okay and that teaching on your feet all day in a classroom is much more demanding than lounging by a pool on a sunbed... Actually, might prompt jealous mutterings, so maybe not such a good idea!!

Daisybump - sounds like it's all warming up for you... Need to check the stats thread to see how many weeks you are as my memory is shocking at the moment...

Firststar - hello!!

Glimmer - my symptoms disappeared around 11 weeks, ie. just before getting to second trimester and all seems okay...

Becklespeckle - congratulations and welcome!

Hotchoc - sorry to hear your news. Lung cancer is what my mum has and she is having her first dose of chemo on Wednesday. It is very difficult dealing with it all when you're pg and hormonal as well...

Princess - is this your first pregnancy - sorry if you've already mentioned this. I remember with ds, I didn't feel anything until about 19/20 weeks and even then it was SO faint!

Hello to anyone else I have failed to mention - very difficult to keep up with this thread after a weekend...

All is well with us. As I mentioned, my mum has her first dose of chemo on Wednesday so I'm going to the hospital with her. I went over to their place and cut her hair for her yesterday which was a bit sad, but it actually looked quite nice... Feeling the baby move intermittently, but not as much as I would like. Hopefully, it is an indication that the baby is chilled out and will be super content when born - here's hoping anyway!! Ds is being gorgeous, but has clearly worked out that crying/tantrums gets attention. In the last week, he has gone from going straight to sleep without a murmer after his last bottle to howling to such an extent that he was actually sick last night! I don't think we've done anything different, so assume it is just him working out how he can manipulate his doting parentals... Roll on maternity leave at home with a newborn and a howling ds...

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Mumpbump - hope everything goes okay on wednesday, some scary things for you and your mum to deal with.
Becklespeckle, IKWYM regards to how long you are pregnant. My last LMP date was 18th March(after 1 30 cycle), which implies I'm 5+1, but I think I ovulated early, on 27th March which would mean I'm 5+6! Think I would rather be the latter...
Hotchoc - glad you are feeling better.
EJT - yes it's not just you. Try not to worry, but do document the conversation and any similar conversation and I would definitely confide in a trusted colleague. If someone really had been complaining, perhaps he/she might know who?

Thanks, furrymummy!

Hope the physio goes well, firststar. Does this mean you will be getting massages on the NHS? Shame they don't offer facials as well. Anyway, I hope it helps! 27 weeks is definitely the third trimester - I am pretty sure about that!

furrymummy, it took till the third week after the chemo for mum's hair to come out and it was literally handfuls by then, feel for you and yours, it is a really harrowing time. mum is done on the chemo and radio on her lung and is having a some radio on her brain now, as a precaution. she found the chemo ok until the last one when she was really sick.. hope it is ok for your mum. i was preg when she was going through it and she never knew, i did not tell her about the m/c either, felt i did not want her to blame herself. i now feel guilty at not confiding in her but i think it was the right thing for me.

got a call from the local epu today, they are not willing to scan for 3 weeks because they have a policy of waiting til 8.5 weeks so that the scan is conclusive. quite sure i will be more than 8 weeks by then, they were using my pos date as a guide, 13 march, i felt preg long before that!! anyway, will have to go with their rules i suppose, got quite upset afterwards but fine now apart from totally tired.

thanks for all the kind words. love xhotchocx

Hotchoc - yep I got the same response from the midwife - they won't even book in until 8 weeks. I think you do need to be quite firm about wanting a scan.

How is everyone this morning?
I think DH has given me his cold
And on top of that I had a horrible nightmare where DH told me he didn't love me any more and wanted a divorce, and he said lots of mean and nasty things to me and I was scared to mention the baby because he might make me lose it. I was crying and upset in the dream and when I woke up, I woke DH and told him about it. He gave me lots of cuddles and again this morning gave me lots of reassurances - he told me it's probably my pregnancy hormones causing it.
He really does love me lots!
Has anyone else had any strange dreams like that?

Hotchoc....my mum had non-hodgkins lymphoma nearly 4 years ago (Nov 2003) and at the time they found a shadow in her lung....it didn't change all through her chemo, and they did a biopsy Feb 2006 and found out it was lung cancer. She's still with us bless her, and is reasonably OK....in a wheelchair for getting about and has oxygen in the house for when she needs it, but relatively pain free and galivanting around the country on bus trips etc. We were all a bit gob-samcked and gloom and doom when she was first diagnosed, but she's staying really positive about it all and planning her trips which is half the battle I believe. (((((((((((hugs))))))))))) to both you and your mum...

Hiya
haven't posted on this thread for a while as have been feeling quite neurotic!!
But I've just got back from my scan and everyhing is ok, have changed my EDD to 5 days earlier than at 6 week scan so I'm now 9 weeks 2 days.
Fingers crossed with this one, its the furthest that any of my babies have got in the past year.

great news jossiejump, hope the neurosis slows down now, i cannot wait for my scan on 14 may, seems forever.

daisybump, thanks for your post, for a while everything seems ok with mum and then something unexpected comes along like that data. i have put it out my mind now (no, really) and on with life.

feeling more positive today altogether, still so tired, zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

hotchocx

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Firststar - just shows how bad my pg knowledge is!!! I'm feeling okay today. My mum is having her pre-assessment and then tomorrow is the big day! My dad says she is bricking herself so I'm glad I'm going along with her.

Jossie - pleased to hear of your good scan result.

I saw this poem posted last week by MrsMcJnr on the ttc after m/c thread. I don't know if you've seen it before, but I thought the poem was absolutely lovely - BUT TEAR ALERT!!! IT WILL MAKE YOU CRY OR AT LEAST WELL UP (in a kind of sad, but kind of nice way...)

"A Different Child

A different child,
People notice
There?s a special glow around you,
You grow
Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
In your mother and father?s eyes.

And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There?s a trace of tears,
One day
You?ll understand
You?ll understand
There was once another child
A different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment.
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly
Any may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on earth.
One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother?s tears
Another father?s silent grief
The you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
?I know how you feel.
I?m only here
Because my mother tried again.? "

Hi Ladies,

a sneaky post at work - I have a free lesson (non-contact hour ) and have finished doing what I wanted to do, so though I'd sneak on here! [guilty emoticon!]

Thanks for all you support over the weekend - I really appreciate it!

Yesterday was absolutely fine - I felt like cr*p first thing, and was really glad that my A level class wasn't happening as they had their A level oral test!

I have confided in a couple of my close friends - and we've narrowed it down to one person who I asked a favour of (to pick something up as I needed to give it to my friend we stayed with in Dubai) - who was the only peron who really knew. I feel so naive now - this person I thought was a friend ... I'm too nice for my own good sometimes!

I've also spoken to a colleague who is my union rep (handy that I'm friendly with her anyway), and she's confirmed that dephead shouldn't be saying anything about my attendance considering that my absence was pg related.

I'm really glad to be back - the kids are all so please to see me - even when I've told them all that I'm doing assessments with them for the next couple of weeks ... I feel really appreciated (by the kids at least!)

Right, better get my room ready for the year class I'm expecting in 2 minutes!

Take care all!

glad your feeling more upbeat ejt......sounds like you have a nice bunch of kids to teach too.....

hello everyone

thanks for all yr lovely supportive messages. Not been about the last few days cos have been back on bedrest - had a small bleed. Grrrr - first one this pg - and just after getting our good cvs results. Had scan and all looked grand - was most prob the fibroid or old blood from after the cvs. Bit more relaxed now

Glad everyone on here seems to be doing well. Pleased about yr scan, Jossie. Yr work situation sounds pants ejt - what a mare of a woman. Glad its getting bit better though. ALl the best to everyone else x

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Hi all!
Furrymummy - hope your Mum's chemo goes well tomorrow, my Mum had cancer last year but sadly we lost her. It was a sad day when she cut her hair and I have kept a lock of it. She cut hers very short and loved the feel of it! It is a lot of stress for you (and you Hotchoc) to deal with and I hope it goes really well! Oh, and I have loads of dreams like that! It's horrible when you wake up because even though you know it's not real, it feels it for a time. It always shakes me up!
ejb sorry to hear you have had a bleed, make sure you get plenty of rest! I had lots of bleeding while pg, esp with DS1 when I bled quite heavily and quite regularly and he was nice and healthy and just over 9 lbs when he arrived!
Well I went to the docs today and he was really lovely. Has put in a referral for an early scan for me but he says they may refuse it (he seems quite unhappy with the system TBH). He also phoned the consultant I have been seeing to do with fertility issues stressing that I had had 2 previous missed m/c so could he please back up the scan request. He got through to answerphone and left a message so I've got to phone the consultant to chase it up. Also got a midwife booking in appt for tomorrow morning - they like you booked in reasonably early here although then don't do anything until 2nd trimester unless something goes wrong. Got a bit of an icky question to ask, did anyone else get thrush and if so what was their docs advice on using pessaries? My doc says he thinks it is fine but my friend's midwife said not before 2nd trimester. Am confused!
Hello everyone else! Hope it's all going well for you.

becklespeckle - I googled and found this on Women's Health website (from a leaflet widely given out about Thrush):

Pessaries and creams are not well absorbed into the body?s circulation and are therefore unlikely to affect a developing foetus, but there has been little research into their use during pregnancy. Treatments with clotrimazole have been used by pregnant women for years and are considered safe. But iodine-based pessaries, such as betadine for recurrent thrush, should not be used during pregnancy. Some experts advise against using econazole during the first three months of pregnancy. If you are pregnant and have thrush, talk to your doctor or midwife about treatment.

ejb for your bleed, but hopefully as you say its the fibroid or the CVS....keep well and rested. I'm under house arrest at the moment, after spending all yesterday morning in the ante-natal assessment unit with regular painful contractions after a very small show on sunday night. Thankfully though things have settled down and although I'm still feeling uterine contractions, they've gone from every three or four minutes to about three an hour and are no longer painful. I've been hugely worried as its far too soon, but MW said that bub feels a good size so if it came to it she'd prob be fine....anyway, DH is working from home and won't let me lift a finger but my bum is getting seriously numb from all the sitting around [ouch emoticon]

Hi Girls
ejb - hope you are ok now after your bleed,
Dasiybump , how worrying for you, how far gone are you now, you just rest and put your feet up as much as poss!!!

Hi all. So much going on.
First of all -- congrats for the scan Jossie.
EJB - I was so delighted and relieved to hear about the good CVS result. Can't beleive it was shadowed by the bleed. Take good care of you.
Firststar 3rd trimester already hope the physio helps.
EJT so sorry to hear about your nightmare at work at least the kids love you!
Edie -- when is your 20 week scan exactly?

I am still freaked out: each day about something different. The newest is that I am really scared about the nuchal scan test (next Tuesday) wondering a) is LO still alive and b) what will I do if I get a positive (bad) result, at which probabilities will go I go for a CVS or amnio etc. Did anybody take or intend to take on of them?

Okay, here is an example for my paranoia:
I read that a strong heartbeat at 8 weeks is a good indicator: so I asked for it. At 172 BPM the heart rate was very high. But rather than being happy about the strong HB I am now worried because I high heart rate can be an indication for a chromosomal abnormality. I should be denied to internet access. I think I know now more about the stats than a consultant. I guess this is just a way of trying to rationalize my fears, but I know that I can change absolutely nothing by knowing them. End of rant.

Daisybump -- crossposted. So sorry to hear about your contractions. Abuse that bum, who cares about numb bums... Hope little one was just practising and you are getting a few more weeks... All the best

Firststar -- I seem to remember you own a fetal doppler monitor. If so, would you recommend owning one, at what time could you hear a HB, where did you get it from and how much was it?
Hope my questions are not too direct.

I'm 33 weeks now...MW did say though that if bub does decide to come early, she feels like she's a good size!...does that mean she'll be a monster if I go full term?....more ouches

Glimmer...wasn't ignoring you. Try to "keep it real", and STAY AWAY from the internet as much as possible (apart from MN that is)...it just freaks you out all the more. Chances are everything is just fine.

Can't help with the nuchal scan etc...DH and I decided that after 2 mcs we would rather not know as there wasn't really any outcome which would make us want to end the pg...so, we decided not to have a nuchal scan done and didn't have any blood tests done at 16 weeks. Thankfully our 20 wk scan didn't show any structural markers for Down's but it doesn't mean we're in the clear. As my due date gets ever closer, I'm starting to get a little panicky and worried, but...it's too bloody late now I suppose! We deal with whatever gets thrown our way....

Try to stay focussed on this LO and the chances are that everything will be fine.