Pregnancy after infertility III

[stealthbanana]

Spotting, cramping, "is my clearblue digi accurate?",* viability scans, measuring behind, measuring ahead, high hcg, low hcg, morning sickness, lack of morning sickness, anomaly scans....

That's right, folks, it's the place where scanxiety really means something, where the feeling like you're always going to be on the wrong side of statistics nevers go away, and where moments of sheer terror are par for the course ...it's pregnancy after infertility.

Join if you want to hang out with a supportive group of women across all different stages of pregnancy who can't believe they got here and are hoping like hell its all going to be ok.

Previous thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2679146-Pregnancy-after-infertility-II

*hint for newbies: it's not

Congrats Boris!!

I'm going in to be induced tomorrow

Thanks friends, Rebecca and Blueroses. It's good to know that potentially it is normal and nothing I should worry about. It eased off late last night.

Rebecca great news about your results. Another milestone reached!

Boris congratulations on the birth of your baby! I hope the feeding improves soon and you are settling into your new routine nicely.

The best of luck for today Blue! Eek! I hope your induction is nice and swift.

MPP Good luck with your scan today! Scanxiety is absolutely rife here- hence the rather early post

Congratulations Boris - I hope the feeding gets sorted soon x

Wonderful news Blueroses - I'm so happy to see you back. Congratulations.

How did you get on at the doctors Sammy? I hope it went well.

Good luck with your induction Blue - I look forward to hearing about your new arrival.

Blondes Congratulations - a little girl, how lovely!

Friends I'm sorry to read about your accident - it sounds really scary. Do you have a follow up appointment, or are they happy with everything?

Rebecca - that's great news about the test results. I can only imagine your nerves when you had the missed call expecting a letter.

Welcome Harmony and Custard, and good luck today MPP and Rose!

Hello to everyone else!

haven't been posting much. Not much to report. Am scared obviously that it will all go to shit, but am 14 weeks today and it seems to still be alive (a male friend said I need to stop pharsing it like that - "try 'it's all going well'". Fuck that. I'll phrase it however I damn please and to hell with your squeamishness) so that's obviously incredibly positive.

I have started to tell people - told someone I work with (different company) yesterday and she squealed. I find I tell most people "it's taken a very long time and all my savings" because I don't want to make out I've breezed to get here when I fucking well haven't.

However I do feel like a 1st trimester fraud as I've not felt sick or dreadful or anything much. I just try to ignore it all and not give it too much headspace. This is a normal reaction right?! I felt a bit of awe of it at 12 week scan, but then the feeling went again. I can't imagine having a baby, or having a deep bond with one. I'm saying yes to all sorts of projects at work and focussing on that.

Icy - I'm sorry to say, I'm still exactly the same (even on induction day). It's still hard for me to believe this is real. I swore I would 'let' it feel real at each stage (harmony, scans, movement) but I still haven't. And the only reason I'm not on work emails this morning is because I know Mr B wouldn't be best pleased.

Since announcing my pregnancy at work, it turns out almost all my team are also fellow interfiles. But this means our only grad so far can offer advice, she says it took her 3 months after the birth of her child for it to feel real. but I know she's a great mum and she adores him. So if it takes me 3 months but I end up like her, I'm ok with that.

Congratulations boris! Hope you get the feeding sorted out, all my girlfriends say it takes time so don't stress

blue good luck with your induction. Hope it does the job soon

blueroses what wonderful news about your bfp. Hoping for a peaceful first trimester that passes quickly for you, and that you get that stitch in there as soon as you need it.

rose it should be just ligament pain. V disconcerting though.

icy do whatever the fuck you want to get you through. Pregnancy is a long old road so handle it however you want.

Am 36 weeks today. Can't believe it. Work is at peak madness and I am exhausted and we bought a house this week to add to the chaos. Can't wait to have this child out of me and into the world!

Hi everyone!

Boris congrats!! Hope the feeding is sorted soon.

Blue exciting!! Best of luck, hope all goes well. Also good to hear what you said about it can take time to sink in, I have heard that before.

Blueroses I'm so happy to see you back here. Wishing you all the best, I hope they take especially good care of you and the baby.

Stealth wow 36 weeks! Sounds like you're having an exhausting time, can you try rest up a bit now?

Mpp best of luck for your scan today, am thinking of you. Best of luck too rose.

Sammy hope you and babies doing OK.

My 20 week scan yesterday went fine. I suppose now I need to try to relax and enjoy it?! Still can't believe it though! Oh and i asked her to check my cervix and she got a bit snarky (she was very odd anyway), saying "do you have any issues with your cervix? If you did you'd be in a special clinic". Um yeah, or it would be totally missed.... she did check it though and was fairly nice about reassuring me, in a patronising way. I didn't care, as long as it's checked!

Blue roses, I am so happy for you.

Waves to everyone else, again I've missed a tonne, but hope you're all ok.

Tiger, am still thinking of you. Hope you're being looked after.

AFM. I ended up back in hospital on Wednesday evening. I was in so much pain and they thought the babies were coming. I was bluelighted to the nearest prem specialist hospital (about 40 mins from us) where they got my pain under control and eventually confirmed that they didn't think it was early labour. We had a cervical scan and it's long and closed, and they did a swab test which apparently shows something if you're going to give birth in the next couple of days which was negative.
We also had a growth scan and our little one, twin2 has grown. She's now only 10% smaller than her sister rather than 25%. Fluid levels and blood flow appear normal. It couldn't have been a better result at this point. So far so good. Xx

Morning all!!

Blueroses I can't tell you how pleased I am to see you here. Congratulations! It sounds as though you will be very well taken care of and monitored throughout this pregnancy, and its no wonder you plan to be extremely cautious. Welcome back!

Rosebud Good luck for your scan today. Mine's at 10.45 and I'm getting rather nervous now! The dull, achey sensation that radiates into your groin sounds similar to what I had a few weeks ago. It was mostly discomfort, though I did have a small bit of pain too. I wasn't overly worried but I mentioned it to my midwife and she said to keep an eye on it and if it got worse or became constant over a few days, to give them a ring so they could investigate, but she thought it was probably the result of everything moving around in there. After that, it carried on for another week and then disappeared. Of course, it may not be the same thing and its always worth checking with your midwife imo, but hopefully it will be something similar and will vanish on its own. I hope you're doing ok!

Welcome Custard and congratulations!!

Rebecca Congrats on the low risk results. No need to feel like an idiot! It's always a relief to have good news! :-)

Major congratulations Boris!! :-)

Blue that's so exciting!! Good luck today!! I'll be thinking about you :-)

Stealth sounds like you have alot on your plate at the moment! Only four weeks to go though. I bet that'll fly by before you know it :-)

Icy I think you're doing fab, and it all sounds like one of the many possible normal reactions to me. I hope you're ok.

Kiwi So glad you're scan went well! Did you find out what you are having?

Sammy I am so sorry you had another terrifying night, but so so pleased that things are looking a little better! I have everything crossed that things continue looking up!

Tiger I hope you are ok. I have been thinking of you xx

Waves to Blondes, Friends, Ghengis, Lucie and everyone else!

mpp and rose good luck for your scans! Keeping everything crossed for good news.

sammy how terrifying. But it sounds like the babies are on the right track, what a relief. Fx they stay put for a few more weeks.

Well, I have mixed feelings about that scan. When I first went in, she had a look for a few minutes then said that she couldn't see any issues but baby was upside down and curled in a ball and she wanted a clearer picture, so she sent me out to have a walk around and a drink. Went back in half hour later and baby hadn't changed position so she took the measurements she could and said we had to come back in two weeks to check again and get the ones she'd missed. She did say that everything she COULD see looked fine, but that there was quite a bit she couldn't see. Anyone else had to go back for a repeat anomaly scan? On the plus side, I suppose, we get to see our baby again in two weeks and she did tell us we're having a boy!

Hope all has gone well with yours, Rosebud!

Boris congratulations!

Blue good luck with the induction today.

Genghis where are you at, at the moment?

Stealth - good to see things progressing nicely for you, 4 weeks is not long at all!

Icy there's no right or wrongs, it's perfectly understandable to feel as you do.

Kiwi great news from the scan and I'm happy to hear that they did a cervix check (although reluctantly).

Sammy that must have been scary but glad the girls are doing ok now.

MPP awwww a boy! Understand the mixed feelings but just look forward to the second scan. Hopefully he will cooperate this time.

Really sorry if I've missed anyone . It's good to be back xx

MPP - they couldn't get all our measurements at the 20 week scan either. Our sonographer said it happens fairly often. Try not to worry. Xx

MPP thanks for your advice. I'm not even booked in with a midwife yet- not happening until 12+4 because I didn't refer myself quickly enough (didn't want to jinx anything) I've made a doctors appointment so they can check I don't have a urine infection etc- just to rule it out.
It's not getting any worse though and I haven't felt it for most of today so I think it probably is ligaments stretching. But no harm in being checked out.

Great that everything seems well at your scan. It must be hard when you haven't been able to get all of the info you were expecting to get. But at least you get to have an extra peek soon!

Kiwi Congratulations on your little boy! And well done for holding your ground on the cervix checking- I plan to follow your lead (if I get to that point)

Sammy God you really are having such a difficult time. Glad you are back home now and all looks well. What s relief!

AFM- my 10 week scan went well. All is looking good. One very active, wriggly little baby with a strong heartbeat and measuring one day ahead at 10+1.

I cried with relief. One week to wait for our harmony results.

Custard. Welcome

Boris congrats

Rebecca. They usually say they will call if a problem so not surprised you panicked

Blue good luck with induction

Icy. We all understand how you feel. It has taken us all ages and often ivf and/or ivf failures to finally get preg

The risk is lower after 12w and more so at 20w

I'm 23w and counting down to next week as will be 24w then and in my mind that if anything happens god forbid then bubs will have a chance of survival

I know that a weird way of looking at it. But how I cope iysiem

Stealth. Wow almost ready to pop - not long now

Kiwi. Glad 20w scan went Well and you feel happier you had
Cervix checked

Sammy. Scary day you had being blue lighted but glad all ok

Fab news smaller twin is catching up. You must be so relived so understand still a long way to go

Mmp81. Yes my
Little bugger wouldn't turn
And went back 3 times in the end. Yes 3 !!! Going for a walk and caffeine and star jumps in disabled loo (yes fun at 21w) not !! Didn't work

What worked was 3rd time there and I drank orange juice
As that's what many of my FB friends said to try

And it worked. Also made me throw up lots as have hg and usually only drink water or I'm sick

But worth it as bubs turned and got the final measurements of heart kidney and face and found out was a girl 💓💓💓💓

Blondes I am the same counting down like that, so I'm sure we're normal

Rose I'm delighted that your scan went well. Is your next one at 16 weeks? It must have been lovely to see your baby wriggling away.

Congratulations on the baby boy news MPP - I've also read it's very common to have to do repeat 20w scans, so definitely try and see it as good thing that you'll be able to see your baby again in two weeks.

Sammy I don't know how you have any nerves left?! I'm sorry to read about your trip to the hospital but absolutely delighted that the twins are doing well, and that t2 is measuring closer to t1.

I'm glad your scan went well Kiwi, I have to get my cervix checked at my next appointment - what exactly does it entail?

Not long to go now Stealth, and congratulations on the house purchase! Is your baby still measuring big?

Hello Icy, I also hate it when people try and tell you to be more positive - I can say what I damn well like thanks very much.

Blueroses I'm 23 weeks now. I'm really pleased you're in a happy bubble and totally get why you will be so cautious - it's very understandable.

Tiger, if you're reading, I hope you're doing as well as can be xx

Gengis. Cervix is measured by dildo cam 😂😂

Had so many with ivf that I'm blasé about it iyswim

Every scan I've had I have cervix checked from 14w due to cone biopsy 20yrs ish ago. They sliced and diced a lot more then , so I have slightly less cervix and weird shape

So will ask if ok to use one. Then literally gets slipped up you. Some are better then others and then use the probe to measure cervix

I think anything over 3 is ok - but ask them

Takes few mins and literally can save baby's life as is cervix is
Showing less they will stitch you to make sure baby doesn't appear early

I know get scanned every 3w to check cervix and also means I see bubs regularly which is nice as well x

Oh, just a dildo cam? That's okay then...it'll be like the old days :) I had visions of my obstetrician with binoculars on or using his hand!!! I'm having it done because I'll be flying long haul a few days later, so hopefully all will be well.

Whoops, I meant to add a thanks for your info!

It turns out I have a UTI so on antibiotics now for 5 days- so I'm glad I went to the doc!

Also got my 12 week scan in the post today for 19th Dec when I'll be 12+3. However I'm not due to do my booking in with the midwife until the day after! So won't have any notes with me- I'm going to have to check if that's ok.

Blimey, you've all been chatty! Loads to catch up on.

Boris huge congratulations! It's always so wonderful to hear of a happy post-barren birth. Hope you're all enjoying bonding and snuggling.
Blue thinking of you and hoping induction went well- yay, another thread baby! Totally understand about it still not feeling real, but let us know how it is when you meet babyblue. Still have a huge disconnect here when I think almost idly of having to give birth and all relatively soon. SO WEIRD.

Stealth, looks like you're up next. Can't believe how time has passed with stealthini now almost fully baked. So excited for you. Congrats too on the new house, there's nothing like doing it all at once, eh? Bet you're looking forward to a bit of mat leave- do I remember correctly that you're working up until Xmas?

Sammy so pleased to hear the twinnies are doing ok. Well done twin2 on starting to catch up with your sister! Also can't imagine how you're coping with everything, you're being amazing. Much love and to you all.

BLUEROSES! A massive, massive welcome back to you. Thrilled to hear of the bfp and glad you've had this happiness alongside remembering Jovan in the last few weeks. Joining everyone else in wishing you as smooth a ride as possible and the absolute best of care.

Congrats on hitting the 20w scan milestones MPP and kiwi!
Also yay for your little wriggly 10 weeker, rose. So pleased to hear all is well so far, despite the pesky UTI.

Hey Icy, nice to hear all is going well for you and baby is still going strong in there. Totally had the same terminology as you for at least the first 6 months until could actually feel the fact it was there, moving around and everything. Also applaud your honesty in telling people how hard-fought it was. I've had loads of people thinking I'd merrily instadiffed as FET worked just after we moved house - and have therefore been congratulated on my 'good timing' a fair bit. Would much rather point out that actually it took nearly three years, loads of intrusive cameras and drugs, not to mention many thousands of pounds, than appear to be one of those smug arses who can actually successfully plan when to be pregnant!

Also hello and welcome to all newcomers. Wishing you all smooth pregnancies around the scanxiety and general fear.

Apologies as I'm sure I've missed people out as currently on phone in cafe, drinking matcha and admiring my nice shiny new shellac. Making the most of lazy weekends before the Xmas madness and then having to think properly about this hopefully impending arrival. Only 4.5 weeks left to go at work with the festive break in the middle

Hope you all have nice weekends.

Hello all...Wow it is hard to keep up with all the messages on here! Went away for a few days and it all happens! Good to see some fellow BESHers on here

I love coming on here as it makes me feel like I am not completely mental with my worries, anxiety and reluctance to get excited in case something goes wrong.

This week I had my midwife appointment which all went well. She was a little concerned about my fingers which are too swollen to wear my wedding and engagement ring. Did some tests on my urine and blood pressure and all seemed OK.

I think because I was asking so many anxious questions she got a doppler out and let me hear the heartbeat. The baby was right there at the front and I heard it straight away!! Cried, obviously...I was on cloud 9 all day.

Back now to the slightly worried state. Is like some days I get a holiday from feeling anxious and it is just so nice. Then the next day am back to feeling worried again. Am 17 weeks and not feeling any movement. Is this normal? Anyone else in the same boat?

The midwife talked again about scans at 30 weeks and 36 weeks. This is because an IVF pregnancy is considered "high risk." Has anyone else heard this? Seems like it might differ from trust to trust.

Waves to everyone, glad people are doing OK. Still thinking of you tiger and hope you are hanging in there.

Jen, I didn't feel movement until 22 weeks.
I also got additional scans due to IVF (and was glad for it)

Came in for induction today, not much happening - just waiting ....

blue exciting- hope it kicks off soon!

Jen I only really felt movement at about 19 or 20 weeks, so don't worry.

Mpp lovely to hear you're having a boy! That will be nice to see him again in two weeks time. No, we didn't find out the sex, we'd decided not to.

Genghis I've had my cervix checked twice and both times they did it just from the ultrasound on stomach, not intravaginal. I have no history of problems though so I suppose if they specifically want to check yours they may do it via dildocam as blondes had.

Grumpel not long to go at work now! Enjoy your lazy weekends.

Sammy great news about the twins.

Hi to everyone else, hope you're having a nice weekend.

Wow what a. Usy busy theead since i was last on!!
blueroses i am soo pleased for you xx
blue fingers crossed flr some
"action" soon for u hun!
boris congratulations xx
Waves to everyone else- i cannae keep up lol!!
I am 31 wks today- which means we are into single figure weeks til due date 😳