Pregnancy after infertility III

[stealthbanana]

Spotting, cramping, "is my clearblue digi accurate?",* viability scans, measuring behind, measuring ahead, high hcg, low hcg, morning sickness, lack of morning sickness, anomaly scans....

That's right, folks, it's the place where scanxiety really means something, where the feeling like you're always going to be on the wrong side of statistics nevers go away, and where moments of sheer terror are par for the course ...it's pregnancy after infertility.

Join if you want to hang out with a supportive group of women across all different stages of pregnancy who can't believe they got here and are hoping like hell its all going to be ok.

Previous thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2679146-Pregnancy-after-infertility-II

*hint for newbies: it's not

Glad to be of amusement sunrise! Try to laugh otherwise I'd probably cry!

Thanks Boris. I'm anxious to get my dates for appointments in so it feels like progress and I know where I'm aiming for!

Fantastic news Lucie and so nice you can start telling people.

Sammy how is your back now?

Thanks everyone for the reassurance on the measurements. I had the full report through yesterday and its made me feel better about it all. Anyone else find they go down a rabbit hole of worry/stress and then once you pull yourself out, it all seems a bit daft?!

To anyone on pred/steroids, how did you find coming off them?? Consultant said he would start weaning me off at about 10 weeks and have heard tiredness can really hit.

Just out of interest,to those further along when did you start feeling baby?

I'm almost 21w. No kicks but the last two weeks felt flutters /like bubbles /popping candy every now and again

Was told kicks etc about 24w

I think how and when you feel kicks depends a lot on where your placenta is. Mines anterior so I didn't feel much until week 28 or so, I felt some gentle movements at the sides of my bump after week 25. I now can't miss the kicks, rolls, punches, hiccups....

Lovely to read all the good news!

For me, I started feeling flutterings around 16/17 weeks and they've progressively got stronger, and I now feel kicks (21 weeks). I'd heard that about the placenta positioning too Boris.

Does anyone have any good remedies for itching? My ankles are driving me nuts.

So nice to read all the good news!

Friends I'm also stressing about my cervix, not for any good reason. They did actually measure mine at 12 weeks (just via abdominal ultrasound; but it was a private scan and they were more thorough). I mentioned to midwife last week and she said they will measure at 20 weeks, but sounds like from what everyone else has said that they won't do that unless I ask. Seems so silly they don't check routinely.

Good to hear about when you can start feeling the baby, seems it varies a lot! I'm 18 weeks now and don't think I've felt anything yet.

Just to say that do a cervical length scan at baby bond clinics. Obviously you have to pay but reassuring if you're worried

Well it was my turn for brown spotting yesterday - have pretty much escaped it up until now so it definitely freaked me out when it suddenly started and was quite heavy. We ended up going for a scan at a random scan centre and all fine so felt like a drama queen but just thought it better to know. My symptoms are all quite mild so think that makes me worry more?! Anyway, had an abdominal scan for the first time ever - sonographer looked quite amused when I came in the room and immediately started trying to strip off. She was like, errrr just show me your stomach!

Hope everyone else is having a good week and keeping stress levels in check. Seems like spotting and lack of symptom worry will be replaced by cervix and movement concerns in the second half!!!

chocolate sorry you had the worry of spotting but glad all ok. I've had brown spotting for the best part of two weeks now, wish it would bugger off, but grateful it's not anything worse at the moment! I have heard the steroids and other meds can mask symptoms, which could explain why yours are mild, although you could just be lucky! My symptoms are really variable - from feeling absolutely normal to feeling bloated, nauseous, exhausted etc and I've no idea what I'll wake up to each day.

Lovely to hear about feeling kicks and movement. Can't even begin to imagine what it must be like.

Midwife is coming over today to do my booking in appointment - it feels weird to be doing it. Apparently I will get my 12 week scan date in the post at around 10 weeks. DH and I disagree about having a private scan in the intervening period and I know he won't want to do the Harmony test either - he thinks I'm just focusing on bad things that can happen and should just be zen. I'm so far from zen that it's laughable. Oh well.

Quiet weekend planned here - cinema, spot of shopping and generally not doing too much. What is everyone else up to?

Morning all.

Chocolate sorry to hear about your spotting this week but at least the scan was reassuring for you. It's so stressful.

Tiger I hope yours clears up soon too- are you still at home resting or out and about more now? Hope your next scan shows the bleed has healed.

Lucie I'm a bit late to the party but massive congrats on your 12wk scan. Big milestone! So pleased to hear all is well and you've even gained days! Hope telling people goes well too and you're able to enjoy the moments rather than then being paranoid you're jinxing it (ahem).

Sammy hope your back is feeling better. Have you found some decent relief?

Rose how are things with you?

Big happy Friday vibes to everyone else.
icy you out there? Hope all ok.

AFM I'm getting the joys of backache myself now, plus a touch of SPD this week too which is, frankly, a ballache. I think it's officially time to quit the gym and stop mindlessly bending over to stroke the cat pick up things. Has anyone else had pelvic pain and done anything other than support bands and belts? Am all strapped up today which is helping a bit. If it gets worse I'll be off to the physio I guess.
Only one week of 2nd trimester left here. I can't believe it. Looking forward to leaky nipples and officially obsessing about baby movement next week, then!

Chocolate Sorry about the spotting but glad you had a positive scan- phew! I've been having quite strong symptoms- very sore boobs, lots of severe nausea etc for the last few weeks. But as of this morning my boobs are fine and my nausea is minimal...... cue utter panic and frantic Goggle searching. So stressful

Tiger That's reassuring that you find your symptoms are quite variable too. I would honestly rather feel sick everyday, as it's at least a bit more reassuring. Eek your midwife appointment- hope it goes well. Let me know what it involves- I have no idea on any of this stuff.

Grumpel I'm ok thanks- stressing today. But hopefully tomorrow will bring lots of nausea and I will feel better (ironically!)
Nearly 2 thirds there!!! Madness! Have you bought much yet? x

AFM- booked harmony test for 30th Nov. There is a high chance I will go slowly mad before then

Hi everyone - can I join? After an FET back in Oct, I'm 9 weeks - had first scan the other day. I know some of you (Lucie, MPP) from previous threads - so lovely to see you all here and doing so well.

Rose, so great to see how far you've come!! Amazing. I just wanted to say, my symptoms (just nausea really) totally disappeared while I was on hols - I was a bit worried but it's back now. Comes and goes. So please try not to worry (Most Useless Advice Ever TM)

Rebecca Hello my lovely! How was the States? I bet it was amazing!

Thank you for the reassurance- it's so hard to stay rational some times, isn't it?
Fantastic news about your scan- congratulations! Have you been referred to a midwife yet? I've only just been referred yesterday so waiting for an initial phone call.

Sorry to hear about the spotting chocolate.

Kiwi. I'm glad it's not just me! I also don't have any reason to suspect anything is wrong but I just can't believe they don't check! It's such a simple thing to do.

Lucie. I noticed they did checks,that's probably what put in in my mind in the first place.

Tiger. My Dh is the same! I've had so many concerns in the 14 short weeks I've been pregnant, I guess made a lot worse by my paranoia. My husband just sees a baby at the end, I haven't got to the point of accepting that will definitely happen yet.

Lovely to hear about the movements and the when they happened. Just shows it can vary so much.

Hi to everyone else and a huge welcome noodles!

Afm, I'm just waiting for my 16week appointment that will be at 17 weeks. My 20 week scan is just after Christmas so I'm just wishing Christmas away. I still haven't managed to tell many people. ( I said I will after the next scan.) Still no really sign that I'm actually pregnant apart from the lovely discharge.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.

Friends thanks for the welcome! I hope Christmas provides a distraction and you reach 20 weeks soon.

Rose, thanks! The states (LA and San Diego) were great - it was hot and sunny, we swam in the pool most days! We had a minor disaster in that I forgot my driver's license so that poor Mr Noodles had to do all the driving - such a waste since I wasn't drinking ...I was quite tired in the evenings, plus throw in jet lag and I am a total zombie this week!! But I'm not complaining

Re midwives etc, I was surprised - after my scan my clinic said, right now book the hospital you want - it's a 'choose and book' system? So I've sent off a form to my preferred hospital and waiting to hear back - hope they can slot me in by 12 weeks or else I'll have to go private for the 12 week scan if I get that far [bites nails]! What are you doing regarding scans? Is your next one 12 weeks?

Have you told anyone yet and when are you planning it? We're seeing my parents and brothers and SILs next week and I would love to tell them ... But it'll be only 10 weeks and maybe too soon. If anything went wrong, I wouldn't want my nieces and nephews to hear about it and they miss nothing ...

OK I'll stop chatting now, didn't mean to write an essay ...

Welcome noodles! We told some family before 12 weeks- but they were the ones that knew I'd had a previous miscarriage (at 12 weeks) and I would have told them if I had another. If you don't want people to know maybe wait a bit. I know it's hard to know when to tell people!

Chocolate sorry about the spotting, hope you're feeling OK.

Tiger hope you're doing OK, totally get what you mean about the worry. You've been through a lot!! If it's any consolation I did feel a lot better after 12 week scan and the combined tests (I also didn't get harmony).

Grumpel I have a history of sciatica and it came back the minute I knew I was pregnant (well before period due), very strange. I'm worried I will get SPD. I had 16w midwife appointment last week and she referred me to an antenatal physio appointment at the hospital next week. They apparently give you general tips too so I'll let you know if I learn anything helpful. I'm also wondering if i should quit the gym but think pilates is helping at the moment. My gym doesn't have any other preggos and I feel awkward in the classes asking for options though! (Especially when my colleague showed up in one class!)

I'm waiting for 20 week scan, which is on 1 December. Can't wait for it to be over, pretty anxious. Decided I need to get a baby on board badge as i fainted when standing on a busy train yesterday - I've never fainted in my life before, i was on my own and it was scary!

Hope everyone's having a nice weekend

Hi there, and welcome noodles to this board. I have found it really helpful to realise that I am not the only one going slowly mad! Feeling slightly better-now at 15+3- as starting to feel like Iam getting bigger. Friends123 sucks that you don't have your 20 week scan before Christmas, ours has just sneaked in on 20th December. Of course I am still thinking what if we get bad news that's Christmas ruined. Last Christmas was the worst, started bleeding with a CP after IVF1 on Christmas day...So hoping for a happy one this year!

Rosebud I agree, is so hard to stay rational!

Thanks both. Jenbot, what a sad Christmas for you last year, I'm sorry - really glad that this one looks to be much happier Will you have your 20 week scan by then?
kiwi that sounds so scary to faint! I hope people were nice to you. Sorry to hear about your mc at 12 weeks, how tragic. I have had bad sciatic pain in the past so I really feel for you, it's miserable. Have you tried a TENS machine? They're pretty effective so might be worth a shot (I think they're safe for use in pregnancy but obviously check!). There are also some good Pilates/stretching routines online for sciatica that I've used in the past, I like this one: www.jessicavalantpilates.com/sciatica-and-an-exercise-routine-for-sciatic-nerve-pain

Just to follow on tens machines seem to only be recommended after 37 weeks as they can cause contractions....
Pain relief is tough to manage in pregnancy, sympathies if it's bad talk to a doctor but yeah Pilates, being in a swimming pool, paracetamol etc help.

noodles thanks, no no-one helped me on the train, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they didn't realise. Thanks re the sciatica and for the link, it's quite manageable at the moment and I've had a lot of physio for it in the past so know what to do, but figured it couldn't hurt to go to a pregnancy physio. Will carry on with stretching and pilates, thanks Boris.

Jenbot also wishing you a happy Christmas this year!

Rebecca so pleased you had such a fab time. And fab idea 'forgetting' your drivers license
We have booked the harmony test for 10weeks which includes a scan so that is on 30th Nov. Not that long to wait but time seems to be going super slow at the mo.
I've only told my Mum and two best friends as they knew we were going for another round of IVF. We aren't telling anyone else until Christmas assuming all is ok. I think you should do whatever feels right for you.

Jen Its definitely time for you to have a wonderful happy Christmas.

Kiwi I can't believe no one helped you! That's awful! It must have been so so scary. You poor thing.

AFM- first episode of actual preggo vomiting today- and I'm so happy about it! Sure hope I won't regret that statement later!

jen you definitely deserve a good Christmas! Ivf can be v cruel

friends know completely what you mean about wishing time away. 20 weeks seems such a milestone and hopefully it will come up quickly - I always find Dec races by

Waves to noodles

kiwi that sounds scary and shit no one helped you - pregnant or not!! Hope you're feeling ok now. Was it unexpected or were you feeling lightheaded beforehand??

grumple are you feeling movement yet or does that come later. Hope it's a speech send tri for you.

tiger hope you're ok - your husband sounds like mine - doesn't see why I should worry at all!!

rose I'm jealous of the vomiting!! I only feel sick if I try and drink a green veggie juice! Good luck for your harmony!

Afm, spotting has stopped (touch wood etc etc) and my symptoms are mild so in theory I'm ok but obviously convinced it's all going to go wrong!! Had my booking in appointment today and was actually impressed as midwife was lovely and seemed v switched on about things like checking cervix as I've had a colposcopy - they've booked me with the obstetrician already so that's a tick.

For people who had nipt, is there any reason to go for panorama over harmony? Harmony seems more popular choice but didn't know if there was a particular reason?!

Chocolate I'm so glad that your spotting has stopped, and that your appointment went well.

I fainted a few times in early pregnancy, it's very scary and disorientating so that's really disappointing that no one helped you Kiwi. I hope you get your badge asap!

I'm with you on wishing time away Friends...at the moment I've moved to waiting to get to 24 weeks. It is a pity your appointment is after Christmas but at least there are a lot of distractions in December so hopefully it will fly in for you!

Jen I'm sorry about your Christmas last year, and wishing you a happier one this year.

Congratulations on your vomiting Rose

Welcome Noodles - it sounds like you had a lovely holiday!

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend. I have another scan tomorrow - I'm still caught between anticipation and nervousness. I also wish DH was here to hold my hand :)

Oh, Chocolate, not to ignore your question - I had the nipt done but don't know which one it was (they don't seem to be named the same way here). That was a very useful answer :)