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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Staying posifrickentive- Thread 12 for ladies pg after mc

995 replies

LynseyH · 01/10/2016 08:04

New thread.... nice to see it filling up so quickly.

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LynseyH · 01/11/2016 10:49

So glad you made a complaint whatser. And equally pleased for you that the consultant was supportive.
Some people shouldn't be in the jobs they do, they want to get paid and go home, in the health field, surely they should really care about the people they look after!

My cold is coming on full force now and my chest is on fire from the nasty cough. I hate being ill!! Feel like crap. I was heaving over the loo this morning as the mucus from the cough is gross. So sorry for the tmi! Waiting on deliveries all day for our baby things too, finding even that stressful right now as all different times and so far an item is missing from one delivery that has already come.
I just want my bed but youngest doesn't do nursery on a Tuesday so no chance today.

OP posts:
XxBecxX · 01/11/2016 17:01

Hya ladies and welcome Miami xx
Moonlight your scan is picture perfect so pleased for you.
How grim it is having a cold Lyns I hate sniffly noses and being pregnant you get run down so easy.

I'm 15+1 today and my gender scan is fast approaching, I'm sooooooo excited with a twinge of anxiety also.
My Anomaly scan is booked in for the 30th of Nov and that is very scary.
None of the family know still and we had a Halloween party yesterday and I had to continually check my dress didn't catch on my belly too much lol it was dark so that helped.
Xxxx

INeedNewShoes · 01/11/2016 17:18

Lynsey - how rotten to have a bad cold Flowers. Drink plenty of water to flush it out! Hope you feel better soon.

A friend of a friend has offered me a bag of baby clothes. Being single I am going to be super skint during maternity leave as I'll only have statutory maternity pay, so I will gratefully receive things offered by my friends. But it seems too early in my high-risk pregnancy to start collecting baby things. I'm not a superstitious type but I can't help feel uncomfortable making preparations so early on (13 weeks tomorrow).

What do my fellow thread companions think?

jpeg28 · 01/11/2016 18:38

Wow whatser that's an amazing deal!! I think I'll have a look on Amazon!

Lynsey the cold sounds awful... hope you get better soon. Deliveries of baby things is exciting though!!

newshoes I know how you feel about not having baby stuff early on, my OH didn't want to buy anything until 20 weeks because he was scared it would end in MC again. Maybe say to your friend you would love them but could she hang on to them for a few more weeks, surely she will understand?

16 weeks today for me... think I had a few stares at my tummy today... people probably thinking I've been eating non stop!!

Miami81 · 01/11/2016 19:50

Thanks purple for the Scottish scan company info. Will file that away for a few weeks time.

Whatsername17 · 01/11/2016 20:50

New shoes u felt exactly the same I've done nothing at all in preparation because I'm too scared. Even put off the plan to decorate the nursery because I wussed out. That was two weeks ago. Then, since Sunday I've had the overwhelming urge to sort things out and have done loads! Give yourself some time. I'm 28+4. It's taken a while!

HighHopes16 · 02/11/2016 09:27

Good Morning Ladies, Can I join please? I was directed here by the lovely moonlight as I feel like I need people to talk to about the anxiety of being pregnant again after a miscarriage.

I miscarried in July at 7 weeks and I'm now somewhere between 6-8 weeks (unsure of dates due to irregular cycles) so I'm constantly knicker checking and symptom spotting feeling like the worst is going to happen again! :(

LynseyH · 02/11/2016 11:26

Sorry to hear of your loss highhopes here, you're in the best place for support! Welcome and congratulations.
The ladies on this thread are lovely and all know exactly how you feel. Keep talking and we'll do our best to keep each other sane x

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XxBecxX · 02/11/2016 12:44

Welcome high hopes and congrats on jumping back on the horse so to speak.
What your feeling is exactly normal!
Have you got in touch with the docs or EPU yet? You just have to take each day as it comes and get through each goal you set yourself, try to break down your milestones as that helps bring confidence with each small achievement, so say stage 1 docs and EPU stage 2 get past the last MC point, stage 3 early scan and so on, it's really the only way to keep going xxxxx

XxBecxX · 02/11/2016 12:49

So hungry and tired today, I've kept my little mancub home from nursery and I've just been laying here on my bed trying to write lists and get organised but unusually for me my eyes keep trying to close, I've eaten (since 7am) 2 creme eggs, half a slice of peanut butter toast, a mini roll, a minced beef hot pot ready meal and I'm still hungry!!!!! What on earth is going on???
😬😬😬😬

HighHopes16 · 02/11/2016 12:55

Thanks for the warm welcome ladies.
Bec - I called my Dr yesterday and said I wasn't sure how far along I was (in the hope that they'd offer me an early scan for dating purposes) but they said the earliest midwife appt is 23/11 so I booked that. I'll be 8-10 weeks by then.
Do the EPU need to know I'm pregnant again?
I wanted to book an early scan privately but DH is reluctant as he doesn't want to go through the waiting game we had last time. (scanned at 5 weeks due to bleeding & told it was too early to see anything, scanned at 6 weeks which showed slow heartbeat, scanned at 7 weeks that showed heart had stopped and I would miscarry.)

Miami81 · 02/11/2016 13:41

Welcome high hopes. We are wondering about early scans also, but just trying to figure out best timing for that. We will hopefully be 11 weeks by Christmas (rang midwives today and they offered 12 week scan on 30th December) but we are away for Christmas and we would like to be sure everything is ok before that.
The Mmc in April we had scan at 8w and there was no heartbeat and looked like no growth from around 6w. I think for my own sanity I would like a scan at 8w again. May just bite the bullet and have a second one a couple of days before Christmas.
I understand where your OH is coming from but the reassurance of a scan might be worth it just in terms of stress levels. Anyway either way best of luck with it.

INeedNewShoes · 02/11/2016 15:32

Hello and welcome HighHopes Smile - I went through the same last pregnancy with a scan at 6 weeks where there was no fetal pole or heartbeat visible and had to wait ten days to go back for another scan where everything looked fine, only to miscarry afterwards.

I resolved this pregnancy not to have an early scan until at least 8 weeks so that there would be a definitive answer from the scan as to whether things were progressing as they should. As it was I managed to hold out until 9.5 weeks before booking a private scan. Because the stats for miscarriage are a lot more hopeful after seeing a heartbeat at 9 weeks it was properly reassuring to have a good scan at that point.

HighHopes16 · 02/11/2016 15:53

Thanks for the advice Miami & NewShoes -
I think a scan at 9 weeks would be reassuring and then only another 3 weeks to wait after that for my 12 week scan. The only problem is I don't actually know how far along I am right now...

I first did a test last Friday that said 3+ so that makes me at least 5 1/2 weeks today, my last period was 12 sep so that makes me 7 1/2 weeks today, however I had a scan 3 weeks before that (not knowing I was pregnant) and the sonographer didn't mention anything so I doubt I'm that far along? So I won't actually know when I'm 9 weeks.

Bloopbleep · 02/11/2016 16:37

Hey high hopes. Congratulations! I know how terrifying it feels. I wish I could stop obsessing

Hey miami I'm in Scotland too. I'm thinking I will try and get an early scan around 7/8 weeks although I worry that it's not really an indication of much at that stage and certainly not reassurance that everything will be ok.

How do you all relax and stop obsessing?

jpeg28 · 02/11/2016 17:15

Congrats on your bfp highhopes and I'm glad you found this thread... it's a great place to share all your anxieties... I still knicker check every time I go to the loo and I'm 16 weeks... I think after a loss it's natural to feel like that. Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months! I had an early scan with the EPU but only because I was bleeding. We then had an early private scan as I was still so worried! I would recommend it if you can, it just put my mind slightly at ease.

bec I am so hungry today too! I've just got home and eaten a marmite and cheese bagel... I was ravenous! I possibly should have gone for fruit!

MoonlightMojitos · 02/11/2016 18:05

Thanks for your comments on the scan ladies :). Feeling so much happier now knowing the stats and they put me a few days head of where I thought too. I got my 12 week scan through today for 25th November so 3 weeks Friday.

Welcome highhopes :) I would recommend the scan now I've had it. I really wasn't keen on the idea, I was so nervous that it'd be bad news but it was dp who wanted it and now it's done I am so glad, it is a weight off my mind. And now only 3 weeks to go until 12 weeks scan. If you do decide to book one I'd go for around 8 weeks at least (so 2 and half weeks from now knowing when you got the 3+) as the stats are so much better after that.

Hope you feel better soon lynsey I really feel for you, I was so sorry for myself when I had the cold before!

bec how exciting for you, not long till you find out! I've been starving since I got my BFP lol I honestly don't know what happens to it, it's like I eat it and it vanishes from my stomach and I feel like I havnt eaten in days lol (except the weight gain tells me it definately doesn't vanish hahah)

Miami81 · 03/11/2016 09:11

Hi ladies. I am completely freaking out, got my BFP on Sunday and have been doing IC HPT for a couple of days so that I could see the line get darker. But today it is exactly the same as two days ago. So worried now. And I know it could just be the test and all that stuff but now am just expecting the worst. Crap - why did I do this to myself. I was thinking it would be nice to see darker lines over a week. Stupid stupid idea.

SnowyZulu · 03/11/2016 09:44

This is my first post although I have been lurking for a few days. I'm pregnant unexpectedly for the first time at 44 and currently 11+6 weeks.
I miscarried 9 years ago and it was a delayed miscarriage that was so painful and horrendous when it finally happened.
I had a private scan on 18th October just to reassure myself that there was a heartbeat etc and I cried my eyes out. It confirmed I was just over 9 week pregnant.
Start of last week I started bleeding and cramping and was convinced this was the end so I had a referral to my local hospital and had a scan that showed everything looked fine and no reason for the bleeding.
My NHS dating scan is this coming Monday but I have made myself so anxious and am so exhausted that my GP signed me off for this week, Which I have to say has done me the world of good.
So just wanted to be able to talk to other people going through the same thing

INeedNewShoes · 03/11/2016 09:50

Miami - those IC tests are rubbish. It wasn't until three days after my FRER BFP that I even got the faintest of faint lines on an IC and it didn't get darker for around a week. Even ten days after my BFP I wouldn't say the IC cheapie line was strong!

Miami81 · 03/11/2016 09:59

Thanks newshoes. Will throw them in the bin and try to calm down.
Welcome Zulu. Sorry for your previous loss. The stats are really good after 9w scan, so stay positive. All the best with your scan.

XxBecxX · 03/11/2016 10:13

High I rang my local EPU as its self referral, told them about my anxiety due to my past issue and they offered me fortnightly scans up to 10weeks, then it was a fortnight to my nuchal.
It's worth finding out if your EPU can offer you similar support?

Miami ditch those crap internet cheapies, like so many of the other girls on this thread I was doing one of those every morning after ovulation as they as supposedly 10miu and with getting a bfp at 3dpo with the last pregnancy, by 9 dpo this time around with no bfp by then I was so upset, I just decided sodd it I'm going to buy a frer and I did it the same day and with afternoon wee and low and behold I got my bfp!!
Those ic tests just aren't reliable in any way, they are just handy if your not in any immediate rush to know as although they sometimes produce squinters they can be unpredictable.
My advice would be treat yourself to some FRERs, last time I was in ASDA they where on offer, pack of 2 for £6.

Welcome snowy and just to reassure your that your feelings are normal and the anxiety will ease as the days past, you've had a scan and the stats for a continued healthy pregnancy after seeing a heartbeat at 9 weeks is 98%.
You've done the hard part of building up the courage to have the scan so well done my love.
Obviously your struggling and we all know how you feel, I was a basket case for the first 12weeks, I didn't dare to believe that I would make it past those early milestones, and I have had successfull pregnancies, I just couldn't find my common sense, it complete evaded me.
Like I said yesterday to high hopes, the only way I managed to cope was by giving myself goals, small bite size, acheiveable ones, like go to the docs, ring the EPU, take my folic acid, and make it to my scans.
Small bits and pieces xxx

jpeg28 · 03/11/2016 10:35

Miami it could just be that you are more hydrated or that the test isn't as sensitive. I know how easy it is to freak out, I had to stop myself doing tests when I first found out!

Snowy congrats on your BFP! Must have been so scary for you to start bleeding, especially after what sounds like a really tough time 9 years ago. I bled in this pregnancy from 5-8 weeks and was convinced it was another MC, I sat on the sofa pretty much for 3 weeks miserable! But all was fine and it sounds like yours is too! Definitely talk on here it's been a life like for me to share my anxieties and get advice!

HighHopes16 · 03/11/2016 10:38

I called my local EPU this morning and they said they don't offer reassurance scans unless you're bleeding so I will have to look into getting one done privately in a couple of weeks. If DH lets me

I've been feeling very nauseous lately which I didn't have last time so that must be a good sign? I just don't want to get my hopes up!

HighHopes16 · 03/11/2016 13:27

Ok so I've managed to persuade DH to let me book a scan in a couple of weeks time! Smile
I've found a couple of clinics locally that do them for £49 but its transabdominal only and you have to be 8 weeks minimum due to visibility.
There is one clinic that does transvaginal but its £99!

Those who have had ultrasounds at 8 weeks - do you think its worth paying double to have the transvaginal or will the abdominal be sufficient to reassure me? Obviously I could be anything from 8-10 weeks by then but I won't know for sure until I get there.

I just don't want to go and them say we can't see enough, come back in two weeks cause that would worry me and cost me double anyway!!