Staying posifrickentive- Thread 10 for ladies pg after mc

[LynseyH5]

I've made the new thread, hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes... just wanted to make sure we had one.

Your mum actually said that Lynsey?
Bloody hell, I wouldn't tell her anything now regardless. That's awful. Families can just be the worse sometimes.
It's good you've got a scan date.

Hope one comes for you soon MissClarke, can you ring the department?

I'm absolutely exhausted today, OH said I look awful which was nice haha. I just hit Aldi for junk food to get through the rest of the day.
3 days until scan. I feel displaced from it almost. Feeling movement after tea so will be good to see it on screen.

Hope everyone else is having good day.

I know what you mean. If everything goes well this will be my last baby too. There was a bit of pressure from dhs side as he is the last of his name. I'm ignoring it all. Your sister sounds mean to be honest. It's different when you've lost a baby. It changes your perspective and she should be more sensitive to that. I'd have loved a little boy, but after what I went through isn't will just be glad to get through pregnancy. My cousin has 4 boys. She thought the first was a girl after having a gender scan and bought all pink. When he was born and they realised it was a boy we all had a shock but they were happy and loved their son. 3 boys later, anytime anyone disagrees with something she does it's because she 'has all boys and wanted a girl and is probably depressed'. It gives me the rage that people are so judgey.

I'm 18+3 today and my bump has popped. I'm feeling lots of kicks too which is lovely. Dh confessed the other day that he is struggling. With dd he read to my bump and constantly touched it. This time he hasn't much at all and keeps calling her an 'it'. I haven't said anything because I didn't want to put pressure on him. It was a relief when he told me. He's been trying a little harder to bond. It's hard for him and I'm not sure how to help really.

Yes she really said it dino. The first time she said it was before I had my mc's but it still stung, like my boys weren't good enough for her. Now I hear it regularly and have no doubt I'll hear it again if this little one is a boy.
whatser My sister is quite a bitter person. She's older than me and has no kids or partner. She has never really spoken to me about the babies I lost, just comes over all judgemental when I said I was pregnant.
It's so scary how judgemental people can be isn't it. I'm a (mostly!) 'live and let live' type of person so I find it quite hard to stomach.
dino you've made.me want to go junk shopping now too lol. whatser are you embracing the bump?! I feel like I've been showing for ages and can't help but give it a rub I really hope your partner can find a way through his emotions too, it's good he's talking to you now. Maybe organise a little date night even if it's at home. Put little one to bed, set up munchies, put a film on and cuddle up. Feeling relaxed will hopefully help any anxiety, even if just for a couple of hours. I've bought face and foot masks for me and my partner (the face masks are black good lol).
I'm sorry can't help any other way, my partner doesn't do emotion, it's blood and stone type situation.

My mental health appt went well and it's been left open if I need anymore support... right now I feel able to cope. Ish.
Think this is a long post so will end it there!

Black goo*

Sounds really positive Lynsey. Tune your mum and sister out. They give me the rage! I am embracing the bump completely. Every time I see it I feel lucky. I haven't gained much weight and the rest of me is fine so it is nice to look more obviously pregnant.
I'm going to have a pregnant lady rant now if no one minds? Sorry if I seem a bit self indulgent. I'm a bit annoyed at the leadership team at work. Last week I sent them all (5 of them) an email detailing the health issues I'm facing due to pregnancy. It was a courtesy really so that if I were to fall ill it wouldn't be a surprise and to make them aware of the reasons why I might need to take additional time off for medical appointments. I also reassured them that I would make every effort to book appointments in my own time (despite legally being entitled to time off) and that I felt fit enough to do my job to the best of my ability. I went on to say that, due to the concerns over my BP, dodgy blood and potential placenta previa, I felt that I needed to take a bit more responsibility for my health and not take on as much additional and extra-curricular responsibilities (running clubs/trips etc) and that i'd be grateful for their support with that. I made no demands, promised to keep them informed and assured them that I can still do my job to the standard that they expect. Anyway, not one of them has responded. Not even a 'thanks for the info' response. One of them is my line manager and also a good friend. I helped her get the promotion and pretty much act like her 'right hand man'. She has sent me other emails but no response to my email. I can count on one hand the amount of days I've had off sick in the last 10 years. I always go the extra mile for that bloody school. It has really p'eed me off. I'm a Head of Year and Head of Department so have a lot of responsibility and I'm not trying to shirk any of it. I'm still going to run the school production, manage my staff and my year group. I've worked it so that my Year 11 GCSE group will be finished by the time I finish so that they wont be affected. Im going back in September and taking a shorter maternity leave to ensure that next year's Year 11's aren't disadvantaged. I don't think it is too much to ask that they send a bloody 'thanks for letting us know' response, is it? Sorry, rant over. I cant rant at DH because he gets cross and thinks they take the piss with how much they put on me as it is.

Hi everyone, got my scan tomorrow. So scared. Lunchtime tomorrow. Feeling a bit overwhelmed with stuff.

I've been reading closely and glad to hear everyone is pushing through. Whatser that was really decent of you but I am afraid to say that people for some reason don't appreciate decency. It's so sad but I find myself in the same situation. It's very frustrating but also making me question what I really want from life.

I've been reading closely and glad to hear everyone is pushing through. Whatser that was really decent of you but I am afraid to say that people for some reason don't appreciate decency. It's so sad but I find myself in the same situation. It's very frustrating but also making me question what I really want from life.

Good luck for tomorrow, Purple. I will be thinking of you and sending lots of positive thoughts into the universe. I sobbed through my 8 week scan. I've never felt more terrified. We are here to hand hold xx

Whatser I also work in teaching (primary though) and feel your pain. I give 200% to school normally but am gradually realising I need to put myself first this year. I'll be leaving a very challenging class in a key data year group mid-year (and probably Ofsted year!)and I've had to quell the feeling of guilt a bit but the headteacher is paid to deal with that and make arrangements so I'm forcing myself to just let it go and think of myself a bit more. Make sure you think of yourself too.

Purple good luck with the scan tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.

My scan letter didn't come so I've had to sit on my hands to avoid booking a private one. OH wouldn't be able to make it and I want him to be there the first time we see baby properly (hopefully) and I can't justify £100 just to be scanned early...it won't change the outcome, so I need to sit tight. Might need some pep talking though!! I had a bit of a moment today and OH suggested I go to counselling!! I didn't think I was that bloody bad, just impatient and a bit anxious.

whatser I think your totally right to be angered by them. It's very unfair to treat you that way, like your letting them down, when in reality your doing the opposite, your giving them plenty of forewarning.
The one that is also a 'good friend', should especially be ashamed of herself. Not only are you being upfront about it, she's also ment to be your friend. I'd be extremely upset in your position too. Rant away, I've had mine for today!

Good luck for tomorrow purple. Fingers crossed!

missclarke gutted for you that your letter didn't come yet but a huge well done on your strength and will power!
As for your attitude to work and put yourself first, good for you. So you should. I'm not saying your job isn't important as it obviously is, but so are you and your baby. This is a very special time for us all so you and whatser taking a step back is a healthy step to take

whatser I think you did the right and considerate thing. I think in teaching, we're expected to give over and above and generally we do it out of the good of our hearts without any thanks.

MissClarke Sounds like we're in the same boat job-wise. Also in primary, key data year and tricky class coming up. Feeling guilty for my year group colleague who will have to pick up a lot of work when I leave (planning and assessment wise). Worrying slightly about having the energy to keep up because I still feel exhausted most days. Realising I'm going to have to settle for good enough at work which I find really hard!
Hope your appointment comes through soon.

Purple Good luck! It is terrifying, we'll be thinking of you.

Mrs So glad things are looking good. One day at a time.

Thanks purple and Lynsey. It's really frustrating. Brilliant news Mrs! Congratulations x

Thanks Nasch x

Good luck tomorrow purple

Glad everything is looking good mrs. There was a table of mc risk after seeing a heartbeat I used to look at it every day quite a lot.

Forgot to say 2 week countdown to scan which means manic googling, reading threads I shouldn't and driving myself crazy

Good luck Purple. Will be thinking of you.

So pleased you are here again Mrs!!

whats and missclarke - you are so right to put your baby and happiness above work. I have sacrificed so much in my life for work and I refuse to do it any longer. Others don't seem to worry about putting themselves first. We need to too...

whats I feel disappointed on your behalf for your colleagues reactions especially your friend. It's just strange. Do they not know what to say? Surely it isn't because they are heartless. I am sure you wouldn't have become friends with someone who was? Maybe they just don't know what to say for the best? I am sorry you have to deal with that crap. People can be useless and disappointing at times.

I went back to work today after 3 weeks holiday. It was really good to see everyone although there have been two pregnancy announcements while I have been away which hit me for six a bit. I'm not sure why. The fear of losing this one I guess. I sometimes just want the world to stop for a bit, let me catch up, and then it can carry on again. News of more pregnancies just makes me realise how much I want this and how devastated I would be if it didn't go right. Anyway mustn't think that way...

I have my 12 week scan on Thursday. Argh. I have been suffering today with tiredness and my boobs hurt when I walk. All good signs that the little bubba is growing I hope.

Hope everyone else is doing ok tonight.

We are getting there ladies!

Lots of love xxx

Good luck for the scans kate and purple. Mrs glad you're still hanging in there. whats I usually try to take the least judgemental alternative if trying to guess at what might be behind other people's on the surface of it unreasonable behaviour, so I'd wonder if your colleagues are just taking time to formulate an equally thoughtful and considerate reply, e.g. maybe they need to talk among themselves and agree how to redistribute some work first before they get back to you, or maybe they're thinking of a card/ flowers or something? Or maybe just thinking of talking in person rather than emailing back? I get on really well with my manager, and she quite often will come through and talk to me in person in response to me sending an email about anything emotive or complex. I'm totally with you and miss clarke on putting your health and wellbeing ahead of work just now, I'm making a concerted effort to just work the hours I'm paid, given that I'm only going to get bigger and slower it makes sense to set realistic expectations I can meet, for me and everyone else. I'm not usually big on putting myself first, but because I see this as putting my baby first it feels right to me.

Good luck for tomorrow purple, and congrats mrs what a relief. I've booked a private scan for 8+3 as I just can't beat waiting till 12 weeks. Although the last time we did that the news was not good, it did prepare me for the Mc which began the next evening which otherwise would have caught me by surprise. Made me realize I'm rather know, even if bad news. Will be 6 weeks tomorrow, so all over two weeks to wait. DH and I arent talking about it much, think we are both protecting ourselves. A bit sad we don't feel we can look too far ahead with this one. Jpeg meant to say congratulations on your scan, was thinking of you the whole day.

Ive decided if it's bad news then I'm
Going to opt for the ERPC rather than medical management this time. It helps me to feel prepared with knowing how ill deal with it. I'll tell work I'm having a procedure on my bladder which I've had before and I'll need a few days recovery.

Good luck purple. Id made that decision too going in to my early scan. Fingers crossed you don't need your 'plan b'.

Purple you'll be in all our thoughts today, best of luck

Last night I slept with my brand new pregnancy pillow! As I'm not especially tall it's as long as me so I was interested to see how I managed. I slept really well until 6am and needed a wee. Noticed my neck is a little stiff (headaches don't help) so think I'll have to get used to it but, all in all, I recommend these pillows, made me feel all snug and secure!

Good luck for today purple!! Xxx