Staying posifrickentive- Thread 10 for ladies pg after mc

[LynseyH5]

I've made the new thread, hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes... just wanted to make sure we had one.

I'm off for a week in the sun with my family. Hope everything goes well at your scans ladies- sorry for the radio silence - I'm not sure if there is WiFi but will be thinking of you all x

Have a lovely holiday and enjoy the sunshine!

Here everyone is!
Hope everyone is doing well
We've had a rough couple of days. Wednesday EPU appointment checked bloods and scanned: 11,000 hcg and they think a 5-6 week pregnancy judging by what they saw.
Started spotting brown blood last night, not enough to soak a pad but when I wiped. Rushed to A&E in a mad panic (as this is how the miscarriage in April started almost exactly to the day using my dates) and had bloods taken and cervix checked. Hcg at 22,000 and cervix closed so we have been advised to wait and see. Discharge has slowed right off, to almost nothing.

We are really really hoping this isn't a repeat of last time. Please spare a thought for us if you can

Good luck lottie. Your bloods look v promising? What did they say at the EPU? Did the see a heartbeat? Got everything crossed for you. Xxx

No heartbeat yet but they said it was early at the EPU on Wednesday, they said that everything looked OK and my bloods were great. Since the miscarriage my cycles have been messed up (well, the one we had!) so dating has been a bit of a nightmare!
No scan last night but we've been booked in for a scan on Wednesday. If all goes well (ie I don't start bleeding over the weekend) we are thinking about cancelling the Wednesday appointment and keeping the one they booked us originally for the 25th July to give us maximum time for this little thing to grow. Not sure however!

Thanks for well wishes, lots of hope going on here, fingers and toes crossed! Xx

Good luck lottie. I had a full 10 days bleeding that was heavy enough to make me think it was a period in the middle of May. When I want for my early 8 week scan yesterday because of a mmc in Jan it turned out I was 11 weeks today ... these things can happen

Thank you so much. It was truly a relief every time she identified some other body part that was without fault. My partner has always wanted a girl as well so he's really happy. I've allowed myself to feel positive about things for the last few days, we'll see if I can keep it up.

Lynsey, you can never really know the answer to your question about intuition, but if you are anything like me, it is very likely that your previous experiences have hardened you a little bit and that what you feel is your self preservation kicking in. For me, the pattern of thinking goes "it's better to be prepared for the worst, then at least you won't be shocked". I've said this before, but IMO the saddest thing about a miscarriage is that you lose your naiveté, your ability to be excited and your faith in your own body as well as a baby. Whilst all those things might be truly sad, they don't actually affect your current pregnancy.

Good luck for your scan Lucky. I was out in about 30 minutes I think? Are you having your blood test done that day too? Mine involved going to a different location, so that was extra time on top though. I haven't told my boss at work yet, and have just passed 20 weeks so it is possible. It really depends on how you dress though. When I look at myself in the shower I wonder how on earth I'm fooling anyone!

Truly, I second whoever said consider what you would do if your results came back high risk. If the answer is nothing, it's not worth the £200... Can they do the combined blood test? That is supposed to be almost as accurate.

for butterfly. I will be thinking every good thought for your scan on Tuesday, and for mac, too. Did the tiredness improve in your previous pregnancies? I hope it does soon, it's the worst.

Hope you have a wonderful holiday, whatser, you deserve it!

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time Lottie. The early days of watching and waiting are so tough. I have nothing helpful to add but plenty of sympathy. I hope the spotting turns out to be nothing, as we know it can.

Wow, that's a long message! I hope I got everyone, good thoughts as well to anyone I missed.

I'm really sorry but I need to unload and I have no where else to turn. Me and my partner have just had the argument to end all arguments and I think we are over.
We've always been a fiery couple as we're very different but this just feels like the end, I almost hope it is.

The argument was nothing to do with the baby or my pregnancy, but I don't think he could care less what happens either. He told me if it wasn't for our boys he wouldn't be here anyway. He has always been a selfish person and he doesn't contribute financially at all so I'm wondering what is the point in being together. I'm not at all scared about being a single parent, I did it with my eldest for 4 years before I met him.
The thing I'm most worried about is being alone in a city where I don't really know many people and my family live an hour away. I feel so alone in everything and only have this thread to voice my concerns over the pregnancy with.
I'm scared all the stress of this will cause a problem with my pregnancy and this baby is all I want, this one and my lovely boys.

Place marking even though I don't post much. 37w2d today :-) Have had so much more energy these last 2 days so hoping that's a sign!

Oh love, that is hard. Can I say first off that the stress will not affect your baby. Women have pregnancies in war zones and all sorts of horrific situations, please don't add that to your worries.
It sounds terribly lonely to be going through everything you are going through, including being so bloody ill with it, without him properly with you and on board. I'm glad you've got the mental health referral done and appointment lined up because if you're right, and this is it, any support you can get you must grab!
Practically, babies are fantastic ice breakers. If you can scoot along to a few antenatal classes nearer the time and make sure you drag yourself to a load of baby cafes/breastfeeding groups/sure start baby stuff/nct postnatal coffee mornings hopefully you can widen your social circle quite quickly. I knew no one in this town for the 5 years we lived here before I had DD. Have tonnes of friends now as a result of diligent playgroup etc attendance.
Homestart may also be worth looking at for a bit of a hand for a few weeks after the baby is here, my parents are both Homestart volunteers and its absolutely within the charity's remit, whether it's baby holding so you can go and have a bath, or playing with older children, or coming out to the park/trip somewhere with you as an extra child herder/entertainer, they do all sorts.
Is it worth considering couples counselling or is that a terrible idea?
I hope a bit of time to let the dust settle helps you work out what you need & want.

PS this thread is for offloading

Have a great holiday whatser! Come back tanned and bumpy

Mac every good wish coming your way for Tues as well. When's your appointment? Mine's 1.30, not 100% looking forward to the old testing my bladder's capacity trick beforehand but nevermind.

Lottie the hcg and cervix check sounds promising, but I do know how bloody scary that brown on the tissue is. Glad it's stopped for now, and fingers crossed for your followup scan.

To add another perspective to the screening/testing discussion, I think there are benefits to testing regardless of your intentions in the light of the results. A lot of babies with non lethal chromosome abnormalities do have extra health needs and their prognosis can be hugely improved by having a paedeatric team on board antenatally eg if certain care is needed immediately post birth, or if a vaginal delivery would be inadvisable, or if they are likely to be small for dates but really really need as long to cook as possible, not induction/section because of mistaken concerns about placenta function/IUGR for example. Just a thought, but some things I've seen discussed more thoroughly on the antenatal tests boards.

Thank you again butterfly. Your always there with some lovely words for me.
I don't think I want counselling, I really don't feel like I even like him anymore let alone anything else. I wish this just wasn't happening all at once! Feel like everywhere I turn, there is another problem adding to my already anxious brain.
I just wish I could move closer to my family but it's not an option right now. It'd be so much easier if him and his family weren't just down the road. Shows how committed he is...6 going on 7 years and 2 kids together, yet he has never lived with us.
Before anyone wonders why on earth I've had kids ( and wanted another) with him, it's simply because things weren't always this bad and I adore my kids. They want for nothing and are my world. I'd never stop him seeing them and that's the last contact we had, I asked him to think about what contact he wants and to let me know

Hugs to you lynsey Maybe a bit of space to breathe and think things through would be good to give you time to think what you want. The stress won't be affecting the baby. Just take care of yourself just now.

butterfly snap exact same time!

Oh lynsey that sounds like a tough situation. How are you feeling this morning? You need to trust your heart and protect yourself. You sound like a brilliant mum. Where do you live? Is there any option of moving closer to your family? Sending you lots of thoughts. Sounds like you know your own mind v well, and I guess you just need to follow that?

Mac and butterfly good luck for Tuesday!! Sorry for my drain brain but how far along are you both?

I am a day behind you - scan on Wednesday. It is our first one and of course I am petrified. I'll be 7w1 - will they be able to see anything do you think (if the little bean is still there, god pray)??

I wake up every single morning expecting this one to be the last day of pregnancy. I am sure that is normal but I can't beat the demons away!

The drugs are making me feel properly shit. This pregnancy has definitely made me lose my looks (if there was anything to lose)! My hair has gone a funny colour, I have a layer of spots and I am SO bloated. My boyfriend tried it on yesterday and I couldn't have felt less up for it and unattractive.

Lottie how are you this morning? Really hope the brown spotting has gone? When are you being scanned again?

Whats have an AMAZING holiday gorgeous.

xx

12 weeks today by my dates kate and scared stiff. Not had an early scan this time so I have zero clue about how many babies or whether we even got off the starting block. Argh. Stress. At 7 weeks you should definitely see something, but for a precise measure they may well need to do an internal, just so you're prepared. They are not as bad as they sound, the worst bit is probably all the squelchy lube making your pants feel slimy afterwards! Good luck.

lynsey you sound like a tough, independent woman and a proper tiger mum. You will be fine in the end, I have every faith.

Oh gosh butterfly best of all the luck in the world. How are you feeling symptom wise? Did you turn down the chance to have earlier scans or not offered them? I'll have everything crossed for you xx

Butterfly and Mac good luck for your scans on Tuesday, are they both 12 wk ones? Kate I was about to say snap my scans on Wednesday too but then I remembered it's week on Wednesday, bloody baby brain!

There's some major work starting on my house on the 25th, I've got some big deadlines at work and the scan and I keep thinking they're happening next week and having a panic before realising there's a whole week in between. I've also managed to go to work with my dress in inside out this week and bawled my eyes out at several adverts, anyone else feel like they're losing the plot?

I wasn't offered them kate. I've had two 2nd trimester losses so I don't think anyone gets very excited in my 1st tri. I've had private early ones in the past but was feeling a bit jaded about them this time as they (obviously!) don't actually change anything, and more to the point can't really tell if the baby is developing normally or not, bar the basic size. Got bitten that way before.

I still feel sick, still tired, "bump" expanding, boobs getting fuller and heavier (DH is thrilled...), so the signs are there but I am a proper pessimist and am still feeling fairly fatalistic about the whole thing. I've been here before and it's all ended in heartbreak later on. Sorry, that is very much not in the spirit of this thread's positivity. Self preservation I guess, expect the worst, barely dare even hope for the best.

Oh dear mimi, I'm sorry but I did have a little chuckle at you wearing your dress inside out. My vocabulary has gone to pot when I speak. I have just lost crucial words at the point I need them, so am constantly looking a fool. What are you having done on your house?

Butterfly sorry I missed your reply on my phone. My midwife was lovely, I'd seen her briefly in previous pregnancy so she knew some of my history and let me arrange booking appointment post-successful early scan and did a home visit. She gave me really useful info about my birth options, I live in an PCT area where there have been infant deaths at one of the maternity units so I really don't want to end up there. I didn't realise you can go out of PCT area, and I know it's ages off, but hopefully I'll be going to an alongside birthing centre in a neighbouring PCT and have a splash in the birthing pool . And thanks for your advice about the milestones, I've got a crazy busy fortnight ahead of me so hopefully I won't have too much time to dwell on things.

Ah that makes sense butterfly everything crossed for you.

I start twice monthly scanning from Wednesday (well I hope it will continue that way) as they want to monitor me but I do share your opinion that it can give you false hope and keeps the anxiety levels up.

Your symptoms sound like everything is moving in the right way though. Everything crossed for you and us all.

My way of thinking is that if it's bad news I have a gorgeous holiday to look forward to in 2 weeks time (when I can recover, get a tan and have a chilled glass of rose) and if it's good news, my holiday will be lovely and relaxed with a growing bump. Obviously one option is so much more appealing but still...

How is everyone?? Hope you have the sun wherever you are!

Xx

for Lottie and Lynsey having tough times of it.

Lots of scans this week. Mine is on Thursday. Trying to be practical yet hopeful at the same time. Definitely doing the self-preservation thing too though..
Fingers crossed for everyone.

Kate It's a lovely day here but everytime I go outside to enjoy the sunshine I feel more ill! There is virtually no shade in our garden either, which usually I love about it.. Hope there are people managing to enjoy the good weather though.

Oh you poor thing nasch. Hope you find a cool spot! Good luck for your scan. How many weeks are you?? Xx

Feeling a bit better after forcing down some lunch, it seems the trick for me is to never get hungry as that's when I feel worst. Is anyone else finding that?
7+5 I think, though last period would put me a week ahead of that. I have had longer but regular cycles since the molar pg in January so I'm estimating! Fingers crossed they can see something this time around.

Thanks for the well wishes!

The brown discharge seemed to taper off yesterday then returned this morning when I went to the loo. I don't feel like it's a bleed as it doesn't flow, so I'm wondering if (hoping!!) it's just some old blood being gotten rid of. My next scan is Wednesday and I'm holding out for good news. The miscarriage in April started like this but by the end of the second day (which would have been yesterday evening) the miscarriage was complete and I had passed everything so hopefully that's an indication that it's not a repeat, plus no pain!

There's a lot of hopefully in there! 🙂

At least the weather is lovely finally, although I've no enjoyed much of it due to feeling sick / exhausted. Hoping for good things for everyone! Xx

So sorry to hear of your rough times lottie and lynsey keep holding in there. I bleed so ,uch throughout the first trimester went into pre term labour 3 times as well there tough little peanuts. I wish there was something I could do to take the worry for you. Just keep your chins up lovelies and I'm sending you big hugs and positive thoughts.

sunday oh no I can't believe your still going I bet your so big as well in this heat fingers crossed he makes an appearance soon.

After so much stress and nearly losing the pregnancy so many times I'm 35 weeks today hospital bag packed :). Making the most of stuffing my face lol xx