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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Staying posifrickentive- Thread 10 for ladies pg after mc

1001 replies

LynseyH5 · 13/07/2016 22:23

I've made the new thread, hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes... just wanted to make sure we had one.

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Macauley · 04/08/2016 21:30

I'm the same tinkly due two weeks before I had my miscarriage. It feels so strange and brings up such a mix of emotions that I can't even begin to process.

Naschkatze · 04/08/2016 21:33

Butterfly I think we all understand what it is to feel angry or jealous towards people who still have the naivety of being pregnant without having suffered a loss. I was that person last autumn. I plucked up the courage to finally tell my parents this week and found it hard when they said to wait to the 12 week mark before we tell the rest of the family. I felt like saying, "There's no guarantee then either!" I don't think people understand just how terrifying this whole process can be. Here, we do (each to different extents probably, but we get it.) You've been through so much so your feelings are completely understandable.

Hope everyone else is well. So grateful to have the support from everyone on this thread!

Whatsername17 · 04/08/2016 21:35

I've told people very bluntly that we are being cautious because I lost a baby in January at 13 weeks. I've had a few people be rude about not having been told. I've also bluntly said that being told to enjoy it after what I went through isn't helpful or appreciated. I'm not being cautious about other people's feelings. People were far too quick to tell me 'it wasn't meant to be' immediately after I'd found out without considering how that impacted on me. I'm protecting myself.

Naschkatze · 04/08/2016 21:53

Whatser I think I need to take a leaf out of your book and be a bit braver with explaining to people what I'm thinking. Hardly anyone knew about our loss though and I'm not sure I want to go there at the moment.

Whatsername17 · 04/08/2016 22:11

I was told to keep mine quiet. I decided not to when directly questioned but didn't announce it either. I had several people ask when I was planning another so I told them. I was so bereft, I was 13 weeks pregnant and pretending I wasn't didn't help at all. Most people were kind and sympathetic but now I'm pregnant again people behave like it didn't happen. My mum has been one of the worst, even though through everything else she is my rock. She just keeps telling me that everything is fine now. It isn't though.

mikesh909 · 04/08/2016 22:50

Mrs, you have my sympathy, the feeling of limbo is horrible. I've got everything crossed for you.

Butterfly, so sorry to hear you're having a hard time. What everyone said upthread is so true, especially the part about giving yourself permission to feel how you feel and to express those feelings, especially to us! I doubt there is a person who knows your story who isn't in awe of your strength, and that is in no way lessened by feeling how you do. So much respect for you and every good thought for your pregnancy.

LadyLynsey · 04/08/2016 22:56

Wow tinkly talk about spooky timing. I do try to think 'everything happens for a reason' but it's very hard isn't it when really awful things like this can happen and there is no justifiable reason anyone should have to cope with it.
And for what reason can this possibly happen for? I argue with myself over the way life goes a lot.
I won't go into my past on here but the last 10 years have been bloody hard work and there's many times I thought things couldn't get worse.
The one time my partner actually realised the extent of my pain was when I said to him "how many times can my heart be broken? I don't think I can have a heart left".
I'm not sure why I rambled all that out...sorry for talking too much!

Tinklypoo · 05/08/2016 06:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyLynsey · 05/08/2016 09:02

Flowers for you tinkly for being strong and finding positives x

I am so excited today.... I am officially 13 weeks and going into the 2nd trimester!! Yay!!

Tinklypoo · 05/08/2016 09:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatsername17 · 05/08/2016 09:20

I'm 16 weeks today. Just listened to Bumpy McBumpface's heartbeat and it sounded brilliant. Baby hates the doppler though and kicks at it and moves away!

mikesh909 · 05/08/2016 09:40

Congratulations, Lynsey and welcome to the second Trimester.

I'm 23+1 today, which seems ridiculously far advanced. Indisputably over the halfway line now...

Have a good day everyone :)

LadyLynsey · 05/08/2016 09:44

Thank you! A round up is a good idea.

I keep wondering about a doppler too but I'm scared of them so I think I'm gonna hold off. Lovely that you've heard baby again this morning though Smile

HopefulKate1980 · 05/08/2016 10:03

Morning everyone.

I've been reading all the posts over the past day but it's been hard to post from holiday.

There is so much kindness, strength and generously on this thread. It's amazing really. I think you all sound like remarkable people and if any of you ever need to find strength to get through the confusion pain and uncertainty of pregnancy after loss you only need to look to yourselves! You all sound amazing.

Nobody can understand what we have all been through unless they experience it and losing a baby at whatever stage is such a profound experience. But getting through it demands a strength that prepares you for so much. We mustn't forget that. I'm talking to myself here more than anything!! i live in constant fear.

butterfly nobody nobody should have to go through what you have. When I read your post my heart broke for you. I'm sure you can anticipate all the words I have to say but please know that we are all hear for you if you need us. I hope each day gets easier for you. Xxxxx

This thread deserves some big boosts of joy and happiness!! We all deserve a shot at happiness. Lots of love xxxx

Sophia1984 · 05/08/2016 10:09

Hi everyone, just popping in to let you know baby boy arrived on Wednesday :-) we're still at hospital while he learns how to feed but both doing well. All the scanxiety is worth it :-)

HopefulKate1980 · 05/08/2016 10:12

I forgot to say I'm 9w3.

Congratulations sophia!!! Gorgeous news.

Xx

LadyLynsey · 05/08/2016 10:21

Congratulations sophia 👶☺

Whatsername17 · 05/08/2016 10:31

Congratulations, Sophia!

MissClarke86 · 05/08/2016 10:33

Congratulations Sophia, lovely news!

For the round up, I'm 9weeks.

doleritedinosaur · 05/08/2016 10:42

Congratulations Sophia! Hope the learning to feed goes well.

For the round up I'm 9+1.

Got a horrific cold, so currently back in bed while OH entertains DS. It's odd as my sense of smell seems gone but smells that make me nauseous are still so powerful.

Hope everyone is doing well, got the midwife in a few hours for more booking in.

Butterfly thanks for your post as now I make sure I'm remembering to wash my veg more & OH said he will deal with the gardening. Must have been incredibly hard for you.

Welcome to trimester 2 Lynsey!

pastabest · 05/08/2016 12:45

Congrats Sophia!

I'm 14+1

AButterflyLightsBesideUs · 05/08/2016 14:11

Thank you all for your lovely kind & supportive messages yesterday, I read them all a few times and they meant a lot. I feel wrecked today, too much snivelling and crying last night and then mad dreams all night and excitable digestion that kept disturbing me. I've put my sole pair of mat jeans in the wash which means I am slightly uncomfortably crammed into a skirt that is too tight, not great!

Hugs to you too Tinkly, those times of yearning are so intense. I identified with so much in that article, the rooms of tissues and flower pictures, cracking inappropriate jokes with the medics - v awkward, the agony of having baby pictures that you can never share, the unbelievable pain of the first induction & subsequent morphine trip, the stress of would the placenta come out or not (mine both did thankfully), the hideous milk coming in after DD and engorgement and leaking all over every bugger who was trying to give me sympathetic hugs, the awfulness of telling family, the spectacular awkwardness of being around people afterwards and how hard that was. Gah. Stop me now.

whatser I think you're right, it's all a trauma response isn't it. Arse. I am feeling a bit bitter about it all. Not only do I have my horrible history and all the associated mental struggles during pregnancy, I'm also just a bit shit at pregnancy. I in no way bloom. I would never be someone who found out to their astonishment that they were 5 months pregnant... I have such a miserable time of it. It is very galling.

sophia huge congratulations! Hope you are doing ok post birth & lots of luck with feeding. Do not hesitate to call a breastfeeding counsellor if you need help, the sooner you crack it the easier it is.

15+ a bit now.

Macauley · 05/08/2016 14:19

Congrats Sophia Smile

I'm 15+4 I think. My dates moved after my 12 week scan and ive lost count now!

mikesh909 · 05/08/2016 15:02

Congratulations, Sophia! I hope the feeding goes well.

Naschkatze · 05/08/2016 16:52

Congratulations Sophia!

For the round up, I'm 11 weeks today.

Bit tricky to keep up on holiday so I apologise in advance if I miss things!

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