Pregnancy after infertility II

[stealthbanana]

We've got through a whole thread! Hope it's ok that I took the liberty of starting a new one.

Newbies, if you've had fertility treatment and found that it actually worked, this is the thread for you! We're a supportive group of women battling everything from scanxiety to unexplained bleeding, and we generally can't believe this is really happening for us!

First thread is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2584015-Pregnancy-after-infertility

Oh God you poor thing. What a loss.

Blue - hope the hospital are taking good care of you. Once again I'm so very sorry and continue to send my love to you and your DH.

So sorry blueroses, there is nothing to say, I just hope you are being well looked after

I am very very sorry to hear your news blueroses. So so sad. I hope you have kind people around you. So sorry xxx

blue

Thank you for your kindness. Everyone has been very kind at the hospital and especially our families. We spent the morning with our baby and now we have come home. We have agreed to a post mortem to help us try and get some answers and will soon need to decide on funeral arrangements. I'm so lost. It's technically a 'late miscarriage' but I feel that phrase doesn't reflect the fact that he was born and we held him. He was born early.

Thank you all for your support over the last few months. It's really helped.

Wishing you all healthy and successful pregnancies.

I hope you don't have to rush to decide anything. Take all the time that you need to and don't place any expectations on yourself about how you 'should' feel. And if you want to talk to us about your little boy then please do, but only if it's right for you. Thinking of you x

He doesn't feel like a late miscarriage to me blueroses. I've thought about you all since you told us. I think of him as your son, he was born.

Oh blueroses so so sorry to hear about your loss. How utterly devasting for you and OH. Take care of yourselves

Blue roses I'm so heartbroken for you. Can't even imagine what you are going through on the loss of your son. Of course late miscarriage doesn't even touch what has happened - horrible terminology
Take care of yourself sending lots of love

Hope everyone else is keeping well

I have been writing to myself about my little boy, trying to capture a multitude of thoughts and feelings. I might share on a blog, if I do I'll post a link on here.

I'm emotionally wrung out, my body aches for my baby, and I'm stung by how unfair life can be.

My family say my son looks likes me, he has my lips, and perfectly formed hands and feet (including second toe being longer than the first like mine). He has my husbands head shape and ears (and no hair!). He has long limbs and at 29cm long already, I'm sure he would've been taller than me in future. He has super silky skin, perfect for stroking. He was perfect, but just too small.

Blueroses we are all here for you, to listen, to talk, to soothe, whatever you need. My heart is broken for you. I can't begin to imagine the pain. Your son sounds utterly beautiful. Poor little soul. Sending you so many love thoughts and sympathies. Life is so incredibly cruel. Your son would be proud of your strength xxxx

All I want to do is make everything better for you Blueroses, but I can't. It breaks my heart. You have been an amazing support over the last few months. After everything, I still can't believe how truly unfair life can be. Xx

Oh blueroses. No words, really, but you have been in my thoughts this weekend

Been thinking of you lots blueroses. It's lovely to hear more about your precious son.

How are you blueroses? You haven't left my thoughts. Xxxx

Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts. DH and I are getting huge amounts of comfort from just being able to talk. We have decided on a name for our son, and we want to share it with him when we see him tomorrow before we tell anyone else. It's a name that we haven't heard before but has several meanings which all feel very poignant.

We are not overly religious but in our culture, there are rituals or fasts that might be followed when a family member dies, and though it is not expected of us, we have decided to be vegetarian for 21 days as a sacrifice in honour of his 21 weeks of life. It's just something that feels right for us.

We also have friends and family arranging to see us through the week so we are feeling supported.

Please don't let me monopolise the board. How's everyone else doing?

blueroses you are remarkable. I'm so glad you have comfort and support around you. You are in my thoughts and I really hope the pain eases soon. Your naming and fast idea sounds v special. Lots of love and hope xxxxx

Wow Blueroses, even at such a time you are still thinking of others even now. Your strength is amazing. I would like to do something nice to commemorate your little boy if you would let me as you have always been kind and supportive to me when I have been feeling anxious. Is there perhaps a charity that you would like donations made to? I have been thinking of you lots. Xx

I'd also like a charity donation in his honour if you feel that would be OK

Wow I'm so touched, and DH is too. Any donations to SANDS or Tommy's in honour of our 'Little B' would be incredibly generous. They both research neo-natal deaths and I've found their websites full of informative and sensitive material, they offer support to bereaved parents too and I'm intending to ask for their help. Thank you xx

I'll donate too. Thinking of you both xx

Lovely. I will send them a donation. I'm glad that they are there to support you and help you through. I wish you all the best for tomorrow. Xx

I will donate too. I used to work for Sands years ago, they do great work.

I have made a donation and left a lovely message in his memory. X