Pregnancy after infertility

[bananafish81]

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

Hope everyone has a fun and relaxing bank holiday weekend as best they can 🎉

Evening all.

Thanks so much for the thoughts everyone - I really appreciate it. How are you all? Looks like it will be lovely and sunny this weekend!

Rach - how are you? Sunrise? When do you go away?

No major news here. My consultant wants me to stay on my medication until my scan next week as he isn't willing to throw the towel in yet, despite saying it is "very very very unlikely" that this pregnancy is viable. It feels cruel to me, but he reassured me that he isn't prolonging an inevitable MC but rather supporting a potential pregnancy. I guess I need to place my trust in his hands.

Until then I am just waiting. Went back to work yesterday which I found very hard. I was straight back into the thick of it, with my boss putting on the pressure of deadlines and new projects. I found it all exhausting but at least we have a long weekend now.

Lots of love to you all xx

Morning all!
Hope you enjoy this long wkend.
Kate- yes place your trust in his hands and just pray pray for a little miracle that's all you can do. I wish I had some more words off encouragement sorry.

I just feel numb at present. Just waiting for nature to take its course,feels so cruel. But I have to try and remain strong(just don't know how) feel empty and lost.

Anyway that's enough off that . On a lighter note I'm prepared to make something good come out off this.
Not sure what or when but I have to do something, I have to have some positive at the end off this journey and that is what's going to get me through this.
Enjoy your Wkend everyone and hope the sun makes appearance very soon X

I wish I had your strength Rach - that sounds so positive.

I had my worst fears confirmed today. My HCG has started to drop and so a miscarriage is imminent. I feel so angry and lost, words fail me. This is number 3 and I honestly don't know how many more I can take. Being a mother is all that matters to me but when do you know when it is time to say 'enough'?

I am sat here with a Disaronno (is that what you call it?! It is all we have in the house!). It is my first drink in 3 months as I was strict while we were TTC. I am desperately trying to see some positives through the pain but I can't. Maybe it is too early.

I may lurk here for a bit. I won't bring you down! But if there is a miracle and we fall pregnant very quickly again (however we do it), I will pop up again and let you know.

Thanks so much for all your kindness and support. I wish you all v healthy and happy pregnancies. Rach and Sunrise - I hope we all will be on here again soon with our BFP pictures and hope in our hearts!

xx

Kate and rach I'm so so sorry for what you are both going through. I can't imagine the pain. Please do vent here as thats what this is for. Both the ups and the downs we all go through it together. Sending lots of hugs and thoughts your way. Xxx

Feel so sad for you Kate,know exactly how you are feeling right now.
I'm trying to be positive And have the strength but deep down I'm breaking but just trying to deal with this one differently..... God knows if that will work. Kate you will find the strength..... I know that you want to give up and thinking how many times you can go through this but just give it some time and please don't give up just yet. Like I've said before if I had gave up I wouldn't have my precious 2 yr(half) old.
You can do this,and I'm here if you need to let off.
What the next few days bring God only knows but we can get through this painful short journey,well physically anyway.
Thanks birchy

kate am so so sorry. Enjoy the disaronno (classy!) and take good care of yourself. Big hugs xxx

So sorry to read your updates Kate and Rach. Its so bloody unfair. My HCG has dropped too, but I've been told to go in for another scan next week. What's the point? So my ERPC I want might be delayed a week or maybe two. I am terrified of miscarrying again at home. I just want to get on with my life.

I hope the rest of the pregnant infertility crew aren't feeling too disheartened by this chat, I don't want to upset you guys with all this.

I've been doing lots of work in the garden which has helped mentally.

Rach, Kate and sunrise - my heart breaks for you. It is such a hard time and I know how much it emotionally costs. I wish that I had some words to take away the pain or say something that would make it better but having been through the infertility journey over several years and feeling that dispair I know there aren't. Life is so unfair. I have many times consoled myself with a large I glass of wine! Please keep in touch and let me know how you all get on. sending lots of love tonight to all of you. Don't give up hope. Xxx

Lost for words. You have my deepest sympathies. Love to you all. X

How is everyone doing? Have you had a good bank holiday? I've had a lovely time. Feeling quite worn out by it all. I have my consultant appointment tomorrow. I will be 24 weeks. I feel like it's a bit of a milestone as it's the age of viability. It feels quite positive to have reached this point. Hope you are all doing well.

hp07 - good luck tomorrow. I hope it all goes well. how have you been feeling?
I have had a lovely bank holiday and OH & I have tomorrow & Wednesday off as well.
I have a scan on Thursday. Even though I will be 32 weeks then I still feel very nervous. I have had scans to check on the baby every week but this is a more in depth one.

HP good luck for later. That is a massive mi!eating to reach- so pleased for you.
Thom good luck for later in the week.

I had a lovely weekend - was at radio 1 big weekend which was fab. However I suffered the next day - think I just got overtired

Glad you had a good weekend Thom and Birchy. Consultant appointment was fine thanks. She wants me to have an extra scan at 28 weeks to check growth because of my bleeds. Then I already have one scheduled at 34 weeks to check my placenta has moved up. Quite happy with that plan. Tonight husband and I are staying at the hotel we got married at to celebrate our wedding anniversary. :)

Thom good luck for Thursday.

HI everyone

I just wanted to say thanks for all your kind words. I have finally started bleeding (miscarrying) which is a strange relief after the limbo I have been in. I am hoping this will all resolve pretty quickly and I will re-join you all very soon. (I can hope!)

Good luck for scans and I hope you all have healthy happy pregnancies.

xx

hopefulkate - I really hope that it all works out and you are back on the thread asap. Have you thought about timings yet? I am sure it is probably all too soon.
hp07 - so pleased that everything went well. I will let you know how I get on this Thursday

Oh Kate poor you. It's so unfair isn't it I'm still bleeding also and back for a scan tomorrow to see what's happening. I wish all the luck in the world . I really hope your dream comes true.
Im going to take some time out and just get my head together.

I wish you all well with scans and pregnancies. Good luck!! X

Thanks Thom and Rach.

Good luck for your scan Rach. Do you think it might be ok? Hope so.

Xx

All I can hope is that all is gone and has happened naturally,can't bear the thought going into hospital . So fingers crossed.
How are you feeling.are you off work Kate? Hope you've got support around you and looking after you X

Ah fingers crossed Rach. Will you let us know? The bleeding has intensified today so I'm hoping the worst is nearly over. When do you think we can try again? Hoping my levels are decreasing quickly and cos they were only low to start with, maybe I'll get a negative by the weekend? I can dream.

I'm at work Rach - I didn't think I could take any more time off (had a few days last week) so I'm doing a very graceful pad change every hour. If only my colleagues knew!

Xx

Yes course I will.
Regarding to when you can try again I don't have a clue to be honest. As I can only have children through ivf, I don't really know about how long cycle wise you have to wait etc. Hopefully for you though you can start soon.
Very brave being at work . I've took another 2 weeks off,just can't face it yet .x

I had three weeks off for my second and I'm so glad I did. Hope you are getting lots of rest and support. Thinking of you xx

Hello all,

Haven't had much chance to mn for last week or so. I am so sorry Rach and Kate, I had been hoping for better news for you guys. It is cruel. I hope things go as easy as they can for you and wish you so much luck for the future.

I had a scan on Tuesday at 8+1 and all well, my little bean had grown on a week from the last one and we saw the heartbeat. I am feeling a teeny bit more confident although still on edge, I have started running (plodding) again and booked my antenatal care. I will have early consultant appointment due to previous issues so will be interesting to see what the plan is. Feels like a long time til the next scan but I have exams to keep me busy...

stealth how are you? Think you are about a week or two ahead of me?

How is everyone else?

I am so sorry Rach and Kate. Miscarriage is devastating. I had one at 10 weeks and it nearly destroyed me.

I had some spotting and bleeding with this one so thought the same thing was happening. I had another scan today and saw heartbeat. Measuring 5 days behind so that's another worry.