Pregnancy after infertility

[bananafish81]

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

So sorry sunrise. And thinking of you rach

Ah Rach and sunrise, it's so tough, so unfair, I'm sorry. Lots of love xxx

Im so sorry Rach and sunrise. It is so unfair. Sending my thoughts.

Sorry to talk about me when you both are going through a horrible time.

I have my 12 week scan tomorrow and I am terrified. I cant stop looking up risks of missed miscarriages. I also think it feels like it happens a lot more than what it quotes from reading threads on her. I suppose only people with bad experiences come on to write about them. I also dont know anyone in RL who has experienced it.

I feel like not going to scan so I can continue to believe everything is OK (if its not). I know how unreasonable that sounds and I will go a long as it is important. I just soo dont want to :-( I have been a grumpy mare this past week as I am so frightened. Dh keeps telling me he knows everything is alright - but he cant - and I so badly want to believe him. Anyway, doubt I will get any calmer until tomorrow and its all done and dusted.

Did others who have had their 12 week scan feel the same?

Birchy - I felt completely the same. Know exactly how you feel. I did no work on the day of the scan, either before as I was terrified or after as I was in shock.

Birchy I imagine it is entirely entirely normal and chances are you will be just fine. Have you had any scans before now? Have you got something nice planned tonight to distract you??

I don't want to hassle you, but how are you sunrise and rach? Has the bleeding subsided Rach? I really really hope so.

I have just got back from my consultant and the picture isn't rosy. He wants to continue doing blood tests every few days to monitor my HCG & after the scan next week we will decide what to do.

He thinks it is probably not ectopic but that it is non-viable. So if there is no development next week, we'll stop the medication and let it MC naturally.

If there is an embryo and fetal pole he said we can either push on and wait to see if we get a heartbeat the following week, or cease medication and see what happens. I have a v strong feeling that the medication I am on is simply prolonging this pregnancy rather than helping it.

Sunrise and Rach my heart goes out to you both. Xx

Birchy it's the same feeling I had at both 12 week and 16 week appointment. The midwife and DH were both excited to see the baby and hear the heart beat but I had anxiety cause I kept thinking I can't get too happy as it might not be there next time. Know it's crazy but after the journey to get here I try not to get too excited sometimes. It's hard and I feel awful inside but I can't shake the feeling especially when you read some people's experiences on here.

Anyway sorry for the long post but just wanted you to know you're not alone in your feelings. Have everything crossed for you tomorrow. Xx

I'm feeling really sad for you Sunrise. 💐

Rach I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. Let us know what happens at the scan tomorrow.

Birchy I get anxious before every scan too, in case the baby has stopped growing since the last scan. I feel like i have cause to worry because none of the 5 embryos in my first IVF cycle survived and neither did the other 5 embryos in the second round, so I really worry about whether this one is strong enough, and hope and pray that I'm doing everything I can to help the little fighter. The relief from each scan can be short lived too unfortunately, but fingers crossed for you tomorrow.

Kate I'm sorry that you're facing more uncertainty but you're being monitored and hopefully the scan next week will be more conclusive.

Take care ladies xx

sunrise, rach & katy - thinking of all of you going through this incredibly difficult time.
birchy what you are saying is perfect natural. I was so sick with worry before all of my scans, as I couldn't believe that it as happening to me after all these years. My OH was exactly same, he would say I know it is ok etc which would only make me snap back at him! I didn't want to get excited or plan as I know that I would be devasted if I let myself and something happened. I am now nearly 31 weeks and i haven't bought a single thing for the baby as I don't want to tempt fate etc. At this rate I will be ordering in the hospital. I think that the high level of anxiety is hard for people to understand if they haven't been through infertility / IVF / disappointment before, they think that you are just a neurotic mess! I know that a lot of people think that about me!
hp07 - I had a difficult few weeks but seem to be feeling better. I have been having weekly scans and everything seems ok at the moment. Because of the issues they don't want me to go over 38 weeks. How are things with you? How have you been feeling?

Ladies Thankyou all for your concern.
At present still bleeding very heavy and passing big clots.
I've decided against going to hospital as I'm not in a lot off pain still,just lower back pain but nothing to major. I feel like I've lost/losing my little embryos but won't know anymore till tomorrow.
Thankyou all for your kind words and hope to be able to carry on this journey with you. Going to try and sleep so my mind can just have a break for a few hours x

Rest well Rach. Hope the morning is brighter for you xxx

Ladies, I don't know how life can be so unfair. I hope you are taking care of yourselves and focusing on what you need to get you through this tough time. Thinking of you.

Hi Thom, I'm doing ok thanks. Had lots of incidences of PV bleeding which has been attributed to an ectropian and a low lying placenta. I have to have a scan at 34 weeks to assess if I will need a c-section or not. I'm now 23+1. I hope that you will let us know/keep us updated on your progress in the next 7 weeks.

hp07 - I have a scan next week and like you they will make a decision about whether to go for a c section. I should know early next week. Hope that you are ok with the bleeding. I know it can be disconcerting. I will definitely let you know how I get on.

Morning everyone - I hope this morning is looking a lot more positive for those who have bleeding. I'm keeping everything crossed for you all.
I got a massive headache last night, I seem to be getting plagued with these now. That's why I didn't respond.
I am glad to know that I'm not the only one with scan fear. I wish we could all be excited for our scans like everyone else. I also feel like a bit of a fraud on this forum as I got so lucky and fell pregnant just as I was getting my referral for IVF. Seemed my tubes needed a wash out... or it also coincided with handing in a year long project that had me super stressed.
Anyway I guess by tea-time I will have more news for you all!

Thom and HP do you have a preference about c section?

Birchy, if you're a fraud then so am I. I found out I was pregnant 4 days before my consultant appointment to be referred for Ivf. I don't think it matters how you overcame your fertility issues. You still went through a massive struggle to get here.
I personally do not want to have a c-section myself. The reason are recovery time - I don't want to have to worry about how well my husband is or isn't going my to clean the house!!!! The fact that I will feel like my body has failed me yet again if I have to have the c-section (which I know is ridiculous and a non issue but it's how I feel) and lastly on a massively selfish note I want the baby to come straight to me for cuddles and be able to hold it properly no have it laid next to me whilst I'm on a surgical table. The only reason I can think of for not labouring naturally is I'm a massive woss when it comes to pain but I think the recovery period and pain post c-section is so much more protracted it doesn't seem that much easier to me. Make sense?

birchy - good luck and will be thinking of you. You shouldn't feel a fraud at all. I found the years of trying etc so hard. It is the not knowing and whether it will ever happen that plays its emotional toll.
I have bo preference on mode of delivery, although I had assumed it would be natural. I have been clear that all I care about is having a healthy baby, and that is my priority. I have said to the doctors, that although all babies our precious, ours is a miracle baby we never thought would happen.
I am running so late for work today. I refuse to get up in the morning until I feel the baby kick. I need to know that they are ok before I start my day & they were being very lazy this morning!
I hope that everyone has a wonderful day filled with good news.

And a massive good luck for today Birchy.

But I second what Thom says and all I really want is the baby to arrive safely by whichever mode necessary.

Birchy good luck for today.

Can I ask aby if you who took progesteronesuppositories if you had side effects after coming off them? I had my first drug free day yesterday and today have a really dodgy stomach, full on cramps, diorreah and grumbling. I'm
Feeling miserable. I'm 14 weeks 1 day. Any advice?!

Thankyou Kate, thom, blueroses,Mrslen,HP07,Boris,stealth,birchy,tabby. Hope I've got everyone.
Don't think I got to say Thankyou for your kind words yesterday . It means a lot.

I feel different today don't ask me how/why I just do....I honestly dont know what today will bring with the scan but I think in my heart I already know but at same time my heart is open to positive news.please!!!! I had my last big bleed yesterday evening and nothing since just spotting but not enough to be changing pads etc.
Good luck today birchy!!!
I hope you ladies get the birth plan you really want and you shouldn't feel bad for wanting it any other way! I remember having things in my head how I wanted it to go and as you can imagine nothing went to plan!
My waters broke no contractions I had to be induced in the end,cut a long story short I ended having to have a forcep delivery . Totally out off my control but all that mattered in the end was he arrived into this world safety and healthy!
Did I feel bad afterwards for not be able to hold him first,not being able to bring him into the world calmly.
Off course I did but I learnt not to beat myself up about it and to the best person I could be for this little miracle i brought into this world!
All the best ladies!

Rach thanks for updateing us. Still very much thinking if you. Lots of love through this difficult time. Xxxxx

Good luck for this morning rach. Sending positive vibes your way.

to all who are bleeding and having to make birth choices. I will almost certainly have a c section (if we get that far!) for medical reasons and I understand that a planned c section can be very straight forward & recovery time short with a good surgeon. So not all is lost if you do have go to down that route.

boris sorry to hear you're feeling awful but it must be a great feeling to be off all the first trimester meds! It's probably just the body adjusting to the new regime.

AFM not much to report. Nauseous, and seem to be vomiting every other day which is an interesting pattern . Not much else by way of symptoms - not a hot of boob growth! Trying to hold back the crazy and avoid booking an intermediate scan, which I've successfully managed this week. On hols tomorrow and next week and then scan is 9am Monday 6th so I now just have to wait Am swinging between moments of utter dread that I am carrying around a dead baby, and moment of quiet confidence that everything will be ok. It's an odd time.

Hi Boris, were you advised to cut down slowly? I went from 2 a day to 1 to half before I stopped, and even then it took a couple of days for stomach and bowels to settle. You should start to feel better soon but don't hesitate to get it checked out if the symptoms don't ease. Make sure you stay hydrated too!

Hi blue I went from 4 pessaries twice a day to 2 twice a day at week 12, then stopped at week 14. I actually only took one twice a day on the last day to ease off them a bit more. I've gone to bed now feeling a bit wiped. I might email my clinic later (in the Czech Republic). Hopefully it's just settling as you say. Thanks for the reassurance.