Pregnancy after infertility

[bananafish81]

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

Hi eskimoflo, glad you're getting on ok. I believe if it's all part of the same bleed you should be fine however the rules change a little past 20 weeks and it may be wise to check in with your midwife just in case. You're able to have anti d up to 72 hrs post bleed so you could just give a quick call in the morning if you're sure baby is doing ok, moving etc and don't want to call an emergency line tonight.
I think the issue post 20 weeks is whether there are too many foetal cells in the blood and you need a top up of anti d as the smaller prophylactic dose of 500iu isn't enough. If you are continuing to bleed and they didn't see anything wrong with your cervix then it could be the case as it could be a little bleed on your placenta. Is yours low lying? They would have told you this at your 20 week scan. Good luck. X

Hey all sorry I haven't checked in for a few days. I have the worst sinus infection. At doctors today and got antibiotics, steroid nosespray and bought some albus oil. Going to try and not take the antibiotics but if it doesn't clear by next week or gets worse I'm going to have to take them. At the moment I'm steaming and using nose spray. Gp said nose spray even though steroid is safe as it is absorb in nasal cavity. But goodness I'm in so much hpain!

Thanks so much for your reply HP07 I called the midwives about an hour after I wrote the post- not because there'd been more blood, but because I thought I should! They told me to call the ante-natal day unit, which I did but there was no answer, so I'll leave it until tomorrow. I know that I have an anterior placenta, but don't think it's low-lying. The midwife read my notes yesterday and checked the placenta bit and didn't seem to think it was an issue. They also did a blood test, I think to check the platelets / foetal cells, so maybe these will show something? Thank you again and I hope that everything is ok with you.

birchy sorry to hear you're not well. Hope you feel better soon I had a tooth / gum infection at around 19/20 weeks so I know what the pain is like and also the reluctance to hold off the antibiotics. Had to have the tooth out in the end, but it's doing fine and healing over now! x

Eskimo - hope they give you clear instructions. Not easy. Hope the spotting stops and stays away.

Birchy that sounds grim you poor thing.

Morning all. Welcome Rach. The early days are so worrying. I have bled and then had a scan expecting bad news, and all well so far. Fx for you. This waiting is much harder than the 2ww after transfer I think!

MrsLen the anti d is for Rh- yes. I haven't experienced it being + myself but it is pretty straightforward if a bit sore I am told. HP you must be sick of the sight of the hospital!

I have had a small bit of brown spotting last night and this morning... hope it's nothing. I haven't told DH, of anything he is more stressed than me. Seems to have settled for now. I have a lot going on this weekend so I hope it will go quickly!

Oh sorry MrsLen I missed your message. Yes it's because I'm rhesus negative and I keep spotting I'm having all of this anti d. It's a bit stingy and sometimes gives me an arm ache for a day or two but nothing too bad.

Hellotreehellosky- yes early days are awful every day is a constant worry especially with the bleeding.
The last 2 days have slowed down so I will keep my fingers crossed.
My scan can't come quick enough X

HI everyone

Just catching up on everyone's posts now...

I've had a horrid few days and I fear I am at the end of this pregnancy....

I have now had four blood tests and my HCG are still rising but slowly and not doubling as what they ideally want. My consultant said that sometimes slow rising HCG can be OK and in 10% of pregnancies it can lead to a normal pregnancy. HOWEVER, more likely it is a sign of an ectopic or an impending miscarriage.

They have gone 33, 56, 78, 98... I have to have one more test on Sunday and then my consultant will scan me on Monday or Tuesday to see what we are dealing with.

In my heart I think it is a non-viable pregnancy not an ectopic but it is impossible to tell at the moment. I am still very bloated and thirsty constantly but my boobs aren't swollen and don't really have any other symptoms.

I asked my consultant whether he would terminate it but he said he can't do that until he knows where it is. He has put me on steroids, progesterone and blood-thinning injections to try and boost the pregnancy, but it may not do anything.

I will be 5 weeks on Sunday and I know that it is over. It is so heartbreaking after everything we have been through. I really thought this time would be ok, because surely the world couldn't be THAT cruel. But turns out that it is...

I am not a religious person but at times like this I wish I could ask someone for a miracle. Ask someone to make us be one of the lucky 10%. If any of you are believers, please say a prayer for me. I feel utterly lost. I go from sheer anger and inconsolable crying to silence and depression.

I was so hoping to go on this journey with you all. I am begging the universe constantly that I still can but it is v v unlikely. I'll let you know the prognosis next week and say my goodbyes then.

xxx

Hopefulkate
I will pray for a miracle for you, life is cruel at times and unfair.
I remember with my first eptopic praying and praying that I would get the phone call to say my Hcg was going up and like yours it was only ever very slowly. I was in a lot off pain though,a lot so deep down I knew.
I feel your pain and want.....wish there was something I could say but I know nothing will make you feel better .
All I can say is don't give up,not yet a miracle could happen and your dream come true.
Take time to take care and I will say a pray tonight X

What sweet words, thanks so much Rach0505

Would you mind telling me a bit about your ectopic? Did you have normal pregnancy symptoms - like increased CM, cramps etc - or was it just all v silent? When did you realise it was ectopic? Did you have the injection or surgery or let nature take its course? Sorry for all the questions. Just desperate to know what is round the corner.

Thanks again for your kindness. xx

Kate I'm praying for you. Xxxx

Praying for miracles HopefulKate

Hi Kate, I'm thinking of you this evening and hoping for good news.

Hopefulkate-
How are you feeling ?

My first eptopic I didn't really have clue what was happening it felt like it was going on forever .
First started with just bleeding but not really any pains, I did the usual went to a&e and each time told to Come back every couple days as my Hcg was slowly going up.
At this point I had never even heard off a eptopic pregnancy. So as you can imagine my head was all over the place. I felt pregnant my breast hurt and feeling sick but as time went on I just knew something was wrong, I think as women we just know when are body's don't feel right. I think this went in for about 2weeks .
I was out food shopping one day and I basically collapsed I sadly had a ruptured eptopic and had internal bleeding,was rushed straight in and had surgery to remove my tube.
They guessed I was around 10 weeks. I went on to have a second one 2 years later but thankfully this time round I knew the signs and I yold them what was happening, no way was I waiting round day after day for them to tell me what I already knew.
Sadly I lost my remaining tube through surgery again. I was very early though 6 weeks or so.
My symptoms were a lot off pain in shoulders and very loose bowels but also very painful , at that time I didn't know what it meant but have now Learnt these are some off the signs. Hope this has help a little and I hope haven't made you feel worst.
It's funny haven't spoke about it for years and as I write it's comes so easily, like it happened yesterday .
We never forget ay.
Haven't slept much last night every minute every hour keep questioning everything. The bleeding has slowed down a lot and now brown discharge. I keep thinking I have miscarried without knowing I have my scan under 2 weeks cannot come quick enough .

Thinking of all you ladies and praying for miracles xx

Rach thanks so much for your message especially when you are going through a worrying time too. Brown discharge is old blood isn't it? Could you pay for a private scan? I am sure you have already thought about this but I'll have everything crossed for you. You have no pain though?? Surely isn't a miscarriage. Bless you for such a thoughtful reply when your head is elsewhere too. I really appreciate that.

And thanks to everyone else for their miracle prayers and thoughts. It is extremely comforting to have you all here.

Your experiences sound extremely tough Rach. Sorry for the personal question but when you fell pregnant with the bastard ectopics did you get lots of CM and cramps when you conceived and leading up to your period? I did and my consultant says that might be a good sign that it is in fact a uterine pregnancy but I can't find any other experiences from women that confirm that on the internet.

I have woken up feeling numb. How am I supposed to get through the days at the moment with his hanging over me? I have another blood test tomorrow morning but until then I wait. No real symptoms this morning apart from constipation and bloating which I have read can be caused by the progesterone I am on. No pain, no bleeding, so idea what is going on.

I love my DH very very much but life for him is continuing as normal and I find it frustrating. He can drink beers, go and play cricket, switch off, relax with wine etc, but I have no relief from this... apart from hot chocolate. I am consuming an AWFUL amount of hot chocolate! I don't want to emerge from this nightmare twice the size and without anything to show for it!!

Thanks again for all your support and thoughts.

xx

Rach and Kate I'm praying for miracles for you. Hope you both have better dats today.

*days

Hopefulkate
Your more then welcome it Def helps talking to other woman who have been through or going through similar thing. I can relate to you 100% with the partner thing,I to am finding it very frustrating as life for him is the same. I don't know what I expect but I just feel a tad on my own with my feelings,does that make sense. It's not his fault and i know he has suffered over the years also.
He is a good man .
It is a private scan,this is my 3 rd round off Ivf . (Not funded by nhs)Ive been bleeding for well over a week now which started with red blood etc. I have also miscarriaged back in 2013 and I remember a lot off pain which makes me think it isn't a miscarriage but my brain is working over time and I'm just thinking off everything it could be.
I had 2 embryos put back in so maybe one hasn't made it? I just don't know,anyone Eles had the same experience?
Hopeful Kate -I did yes get a lot off cramps and CM with all my pregnancys but I have also had my miracle my beautiful son from ivf and I had pains and cramps so it really is hard to say what means what. But definitely try and stay hopeful as your consultant has said a good sign :)
Take each hour each day as it comes, I know how very hard that is but for now it's all you can do and all us can do .

I will thinking off you and hoping for the best. X

Thankyou boris

Keep us posted Kate and Rach.

My back pain is a little bit better now since I saw the chiropractor. I have also started pregnancy yoga and swimming. Because of my medical history, my GP has referred me to physio and also a podiatrist to check my gait so I'm feeling looked after.

It seems the pain is mostly my fault as I was on my feet a lot last weekend browsing at The Baby Show, so I've learnt my lesson. 😳

I think someone has mentioned this before, it is weird being with 'normal' pregnant women at the yoga class. I was the earliest in terms of pregnancy and yet had the longest list of ailments! Quite a few ladies were 30+ wks and told the instructor that they weren't having any problems at all. One lady was 40wks!

Also have a DH that can carry on as normal so you're definitely not alone there Kate!

Hope everyone has a relaxing weekend.

I've just called the EPU and begged them to give me a scan tomorrow so I can see where it is and hopefully get a conclusion to this. It is so painful knowing I have a non viable pregnancy and waiting for it to miscarry. I've give up hope of the 10%. It's not going to happen. I don't have any pregnancy symptoms. My HCG is so low. I feel distraught girls. I cannot believe this is what has happened, again. I have built myself back together so many times these past two years and I don't have anything left. I want it out of me so I can move on with my life.

Thinking of you kate and rach

Kate, I've heard women say that they have a sixth sense about what's going on in their bodies so if you've got such a strong feeling about it, you might already know before the doctors. On the other hand, the despair of infertility seems to program us to expect the worst, and 10% is still a chance. Whatever the outcome, I hope you have access to counselling / the support that you need to get through this xx

Thanks stealth and blue for your kind posts. I must try to stay positive but you are right blue the infertility nightmare makes you expect the worst.

Off to the hospital now to get some more blood done. Yesterday I spent the entire day on the sofa, drifting in and out of sleep, very very exhausted. I'm not sure it's the drugs or the pregnancy. I doubt we'll get the results today as it is a Sunday but I am going to attempt to push to be scanned. They may not see anything but I need something.

I also need to get back to work! I have already had 6 weeks off this year due to my miscarriages (had lots of complications with my second due to surgery) and v conscious that I can't be off for any more days.

Anyway sorry to be self-absorbed. How is everyone else? Rach has the bleeding stopped. Please say yes..

xxx