Staying posifrickentive- Thread 8 for ladies after mc

[keys27]

Hi ladies. I am rubbish at this computer stuff I hope this has worked as we can not add anymore onto our old post.

Also, I'm wondering where paws has got too? Hope you're doing OK if you are out there x

And anyone else we might have lost when we moved threads?

Lillian My local epu/midwife was also unable to offer anything earlier than 11 weeks even with the past mc / loss of one with this one so I feel your frustration.

I read an article on what a miscarriage does to you - including the after affects, and one thing stuck with me. Can't find the exact quote but mentioned that you lose your innocence and naivete in pregnancy when it happens to you. We all think it will be easy, the bad stuff happens to others not us so when it does and you try again you have no belief it can actually work, or work smoothly for you.
It really resonated with me - and even now I recognise that a lot of my negative feelings that things won't be ok perhaps stem from that as opposed to actual instinct.

As much as you can try to focus on the fact that right now you are pregnant, and you are until you're not (hopefully ending when you have a squishy potato in your arms)

I can def relate to what you just mentioned bowser about losing that naivety. My friend is due same time as me, it's her first pregnancy and she managed to get pg the month BEFORE they were gonna start TTC! I'm jealous of her excitement and innocence but equally I'm trying not to bring her down or worry her

Thanks so much keys and turi- this thread def helps as I have so many concerns and worries that I know only people that have gone through it will understand.

chandeleir that scan is gorgeous!! congratulations!

lilliana I think I remember you from the mc boards when I was going through mine last year in July. So lovely to see you here and that we both have lovely beans on the the way.

Bowserlovesmojitos Threefaries JayBeanie thank you all so much for thinking of me! I can't tell you how much it means to have your support.
Yes the wait is driving me insane, I think I might be in abit of denial that things will be a bad outcome as I keep thinking of the chance it could all be ok. I've had an very slight increase in symptoms which I've tried to take as a positive but the idea of it being bad news is terrifying me.
I've been trying to get through one day at a time and say a silent thank you everytime I go to the loo and there isn't any more blood.
The things said about naivety during pregnancy and how you lose it after a mc is incredibly true. I've often thought how nice it was to just enjoy my previous pregnancies without all the fear that goes with this.
I'm so happy we've seen some happy news coming through recently! It's so nice to read about ladies having a positive outcome, I spent so long reading negative ones. My very best wishes to you all 💋

Yes I remember Lillian so glad to see you here.

sunday I've had a pm from paws she is ok and I've sent her a link to here so hopefully she will be back soon.

Good luck today northern and keys I'm sure all will be fine.

I've often said that a big sadness with mc is that I will never have the naivety that I had with DD pregnancy. I was so chilled and loved it. Even at her birth when they told me they couldn't trace her heartbeat I never really thought anything awful was going to happen (and it didn't) but now I am older and wiser and I'm not sure that is a good thing. Especially as 3 of my friends were pregnant with me, I mc, one had an ectopic and a tube removed and another lost hers when she went into labour at 41 weeks The last has a gorgeous little girl who we all love to bits.

Good luck today Lynsey and Northern!

Thank you all for your good wishes! Have been slowly sharing our news since last night. Everyone very happy for us... although haven't heard back from my mother, who I am LC with (I'm NC with my father, which makes things rather a challenge). I know she's read my message, as WhatsApp tells me so! Oh well. Trying not to let it spoil the joy.

Just hopping on to say good luck to the ladies having scans/appointments today (keys northern Lynsey I am thinking of u, and anyone else I have missed out!)

bowser I totally agree with that article! The mc's really have taken the innocence and joy out of this pregnancy. I remember my first, happy and uneventful pregnancy with my DS - I was so excited and happy and it's such a difference to now. My mind is a constant battle ground between my positive side and negative side - one minute telling myself all ok and then next absolutely convinced it's all over already. It's exhausting!

I told my boss I am pregnant again, she is very sympathetic and has also had mc's. We were both admitted to hospital via a&e with heavy bleeding after passing out etc. So she has been a good support. Anyway - she told me to allow myself to get excited about this baby and that it was a wonderful thing. I understand what she is saying but I just dnt know if I can do that yet. I'm so scared of the disappointment and heartache if we were to lose it again. But I am trying, and slowly beginning to let my guard down.

chandelier so happy for you and your lovely scan, really super news. And it's lovely telling people - hope it is feeling real for u sorry to hear about your mum, that must be disheartening. But don't let it spoil your lovely news.

Lots of hugs to everyone who needs them today!!

Thank you chandelier and lucinda but your a day early! My appt is tomorrow so wish it was today tho!
Have any of you ladies had any fainting or bad dizzy spells? This morning I was so hot the sweat started pouring off me and had to sit down before I fell down. Scary when on my own with my 2 little fellas. It's passed now and I just feel like I've not slept in days. Roll on tomorrow!
Sorry to hear you mum hasn't responded to your msg chandelier it takes a little bit of sparkle away when someone doesn't react well or at all. Try not to let it dampen your mood tho as this is such a special time for you.
If it helps any, my partners mum will be less than supportive if we tell her good news. If it's bad news, she won't be told anything. When I miscarried last year, she said to me, "shall we dance" whilst I sat in tears. Not nice!
Remember you'll have a beautiful baby in your arms and everything else fails in comparison x

Oh lynsey I'm so sorry I am a day early! how frustrating. Nearly there tho! One more sleep. Sorry u had a funny turn that sounds horrible. Look after urself. Make sure ur drinking enough and don't push yourself. So hard tho with kiddies, I've been on strict instructions from my DH & mum not to lift my 4yo any more. to be fair, at 4yo I shdnt need to. But there are times u can't help it and other times he uses me as a climbing frame and so a bit of weight lifting can't be avoided! I'm sorry ur MIL has been such a cow!! What an awful thing to say. Hugs.

I am still waiting for symptoms to kick in - 6 weeks today and getting anxious that apart from sore nips (which are not so sore now!) and being a bit of a snappy old cow bursting into tears every 5 mins hormonal, I really dnt have any symptoms to indicate I'm pregnant. Not even very hungry or thirsty, which along with morning sickness, I felt very strongly by this point in my last pregnancy. I did wake up last night absolutely SOAKED in sweat. Had to c hangs pj's it was rather unpleasant!! But not really sure that is pregnancy related?? Who knows.

Roll on early scan - 14 days and counting!

Hello everyone! Just catching up on the last two weeks news and delighted to see things going well at so many scans! What a wonderful thread this is- it has really helped keep my chin up over the last 8 weeks!

Good luck to all with scans and appts tomorrow and long may the positive news continue. I am counting down to twelve week scan on Friday

Don't worry lucinda I'm at the point where ignorant bliss is a nice place to be! I still have a little hope all will be well so if tomorrow brings bad news, I'll have to accept it which I've been trying not to do!

I know the lack of pregnancy symptoms is frustrating as I'm the same. Altho I've started having a few dizzy spells and my funny spell this morning, I'm not really feeling much either. My boobs have hurt on and off but nothing terrible. Hopefully we are just the lucky ones who won't suffer so much but all will still be well!
Pregnancy makes your blood pump round more (or something like that!) So that could explain you overheating last night. Don't forget your hormones are doing some serious overtime!
Everytime I think of tomorrow's appt, I feel a wave of panic. 14 days!! Wow how are you coping with that?! I had a scan only last wednesday (which is when nothing was measuring right and when we realised either things are slow or have stopped) and that feels so much further away than only a week ago... maybe tomorrow will be a relief either way because knowing for sure what's going on stops this horrible limbo x

Hoping everything goes well for you tomorrow Lynsey. I know the waiting is just agony

Backhometothenorth thank you ☺ I'm moaning about tomorrow and you have a few days yet... I hope everything goes well for you too. Keep us updated ☺

Marking my spot after being recommended this group.

Had an MC on Christmas Eve, and the weeks following were very dark. But as soon as I was physically ready, DH and I started TTC-ing. For me, waiting would've just made it worse - like there was a massive elephant in the room. First AF came and went and I was disappointed. Next AF due this Friday but this morning (having had terrible nausea yesterday) I got a BFP (albeit not that big or fat!). I'm thrilled but petrified. I've cried a lot today.

Cried out of happiness because I'm relieved that it's happened again, cried over the baby we never got to meet...and I keep worrying about doing anything basically.

I have a DD who'r 2.5 years old. With her, I didn't get the nausea til 6 weeks, but with my MC I had nausea 4 days before AF was due, and the same again this time...and I can't help see it as a bad omen.

I will read back through all your posts later to catch up, and sorry for the brain dump in my first post!

So I'm 35 next month, have one daughter (2) and this was our 2nd cycle of TTCing after my MC.

Just popping on to say good luck lynsey for tomorrow. Hope you sleep OK tonight x

Hi serious, congratulations on your bfp. Thrilled and petrified is exactly how I felt when I got my bfp this time round!

Scan day for me tomorrow too! Bit of a last minute appointment, and feeling v nervous actually

Well mixed news from today's scan! Good news is we saw a heartbeat which is awesome, other news is that there was another sac which appears to be empty so I need to go back again next week for a follow up to see if there is any further development - not looking hopeful on the twin though.

But good news is heartbeat looked strong and regular and much much clearer and bigger than what we saw before I miscarried last year.

Good Luck tomorrow Lynsey (hopefully I have the right day this time) fingers crossed for good news.

SeriousStuff welcome and congrats. We all understand that feeling of excitement yet terror here, we are here to hand hold.

Sunday good luck tomorrow!

Today I'm 9+4 and that's the day I found out about my mmc in November so I'm very glad it's nearly over. I have my booking appointment tomorrow, I know it'll be boring but I didn't get quite this far last time so I'm quite excited. Do they normally give you a 12 wk scan date or will I have to wait for one by post?

Good luck tomorrow Lynsey!

Northernlight22 JayBeanie sundayraspberry thank you ☺ anxiety is ridiculous today. No idea if sleep will happen tonight but gonna try very soon!
Been chatting to a friend for a good long time tonight so really helped take my mind away for a bit.
Good luck with your scan tomorrow too sunday I hope all is well! Thank you again for your thoughts, means so much to have this support!! Big kisses to you all!!

Good luck today lynsey and sunday keeping everything crossed!!

Welcome serious and congrats on you BFP - you are in the right place to help you get through this roller coaster

jay so glad you are nearly over your milestone. Keep positive! Hope booking appt goes well, think scan date must depend on area as I haven't had my booking appt yet (only 6+1 wks) but I have received my scan date in the post. I arranged an early scan with EPU at 8 weeks but my normal dating scan is booked for 12+6 weeks. My first mc was at 11.5 weeks and I was very unwell with it so I'm not sure I can wait that long for next scan. Seriously considering booking another private early scan at around 11 weeks just to keep me sane!

northern so pleased you got a good strong heartbeat that is wonderful news. I am sorry twin seems less certain, but keeping everything crossed for next week.

Lots of hugs to everyone x

jay I think the midwife will send a scan request off to the hospital so you should get a date by post. Although reading pregnancy threads shows that procedures are different in other parts of the country. Take a huge handbag to the booking appointment, you'll get lots of paperwork crap to read !

Good news about seeing the heartbeat at your scan northern although sorry you have the issue with the other sac. I've been really surprised at how common this is and how many women on this thread have had the same, if it gives you any comfort to know. Am sure keys and bowser can relate.

Great news about seeing heartbeat northern so sorry to hear that you had twins and second does not look like its developing. Big hugs.

Good luck today lynsey I will be thinking of you stay strong.

Ahhhh sunday didn't know you were being scanned also today good luck Hun.

Will catch up later as I'm kinda fed up got booked in for my stitch yesterday went into hospital at 7am all gowned up starved myself cannula in to be told at 12 it was cancelled. My hospital it awful.

Oh Keys, that's utterly rubbish!

Northern Mixed news must have given you mixed feelings. Great news about the strong heartbeat. I lost twins last summer, but never got to see a heartbeat. Keep on stayin strong!

Good luck today Lynsey (not yesterday, ha ha ha!)

Welcome serious. Glad you found us.

Jay Check with your mw about how it works in your area. I was told mine would come in the post. It didnt, so I asked my mw to chase it... She did, but it never arrived, SI I ended up calling the ANC myself. They then booked my 20wk scan as I left my 12wk scan on Mon.

Good luck today sunday. I think it's totally natural to feel anxiety re. scans, whatever gestation you are.