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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Paternity test in pregnancy

190 replies

BookLover94 · 06/02/2016 21:07

Hi, my partner would like me to do a paternity test (baby is 100% his) but I'm happy to do it if it relaxes him.
I know they don't offer them on the NHS and from what I've researched, to have one done in pregnancy costs around £899!
Has anyone else had one done in pregnancy, if so, where did you go and what did you pay?
I'm 22 weeks with a little boy who is healthy despite a few complications with me :)

OP posts:
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3luckystars · 07/02/2016 10:14

How long would the results of a dna test take after the baby is born?

I am not going to make any comments about your relationship, but if you are getting this test to reassure him, and the results come back that yes, he is the dad, he is not suddenly going to let out a sigh of relief and trust you completely from now on. He obviously has been hurt and it's understandable that he finds it difficult to trust someone, but I think doing this test will only add fuel to his fears. In a matter of days he will start wondering, that you were so so sure the baby was his, why would you get the test?

Wishing you all the best.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 07/02/2016 10:25

Surely no one would consider doing this voluntarily to a wanted baby, just to keep some insecure man happy?

This. Love is blind (only in one direction, it seems).

Sunbeam1112 · 07/02/2016 10:38

OP i never been shocked and speechless before over posts on mumsnet but your post stands out. For all the wrong reasons.

Afew stand out for me that a red flags here ;

You fell out with your family and your partner helped you through that -( this is a classic mo of an emotional abuser who dettaches their partner from their friends and family)

Your ex's emotional blackmail of past relationships- they have no relevance to your relationship. Yet your DP is wanting a DNA with no evidvence. This is not a normal request,you can argue you which way but its not normal in a loving caring relationship.

You ask advice on a forum which you never used before and do not meantion friends has you DP alienated them?

You had previous miscarriages so you could of got pregnant. Did you do this on purpose to mend the relationship?

You sound so naive and incredibily immature to think even think if you have this test that you will sail off into the sunset and be happy. HE WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. Adding the stresses of a newborn will only make it worse not better. It doesn't have to be physical to be an abused Emotional and physological abuse can be just as damaging if not more.

Many ladys talk about their experiences and at the time don't realise they are victims of emotional and physical abuse until they leave. You defend his actions and take offense when people are trying to help you.

You don't want a prem baby or risk a still birth. My mam suffered a still birth 40years ago. That stays with you for life.

I prevously worked as a healthcare professional, i assisted with the health vistor on my placement to moderate and high risk couples.I hope both your midwife ( and when you H/V does her home visit) flagged this up so they can keep an extra eye on you and the baby. Your emotional well being effects your baby to if your not happy neither is your baby.

Sometimes you need someone to give you the hard truth and even with the little brief in your OP is enough for posters to tell you not right and somethings a miss. It would be different if you had your own doubts.

starry0ne · 07/02/2016 11:07

I am sure my post will make no difference to you...When I was pregnant we found out the sex for him, had a 4D for him...As he thought it would help him bond...Guess what...He never did...

If you can't see that he should be able to trust you you are deluding yourself and I would spend the grand on getting this baby what he/ she needs...Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship and if you don't have it you have nothing...
The demands on you will only increase not decrease

Luckygirlcharlie · 09/02/2016 22:16

Bit confused you say you've had 'lots of anti-d shots' why? And you say you're 22 weeks. You should just have one around 28 wks. Then once baby is born of the baby is not also rh- you have one more. I'd be asking why you've had them so early and more than one. Re the paternity I also don't understand why you'd do a test that carries a risk when in a few months you'll be able to do a simple blood test. If he really won't stand by you until then I'd tell him to leave you alone. Just my humble.

FellOutOfBedTwice · 10/02/2016 08:41

Luckygirl if you have any bleeding at 12 weeks + you get the anti d when you're RH-. I only know because I'm going through this now... In my first pregnancy I didn't have any bleeding so just had it at 28 weeks and then when DD was born and proved to be RH+ but in this pregnancy I've had issues with a tear in the placenta and all bleeding past 12 weeks has to be treated with the anti d- annoyingly!

Luckygirlcharlie · 10/02/2016 13:10

Ah ok. Smile

HopefulHamster · 10/02/2016 13:35

So are you doing the expensive non-invasive test then?

It's the only one I'd consider.

Have you been faithful?

(can't see if you have answered this)

Or do you want to find out for yourself?

Threesquids · 10/02/2016 13:41

This stinks of a made-up thread to me.

If it's not made up, then I feel very sorry for a baby growing up with

  1. a father who clearly has major issues
  2. a mother who would put an unborn baby through it for the sake of a man

Poor show OP.

PurpleDaisies · 10/02/2016 13:43

Hi, my partner would like me to do a paternity test (baby is 100% his) but I'm happy to do it if it relaxes him.
First line of the opening post.

CallaLilli · 10/02/2016 14:35

OP has disappeared. I think it's safe to say the thread is not for real.

NameChange30 · 10/02/2016 15:04

Calla I don't think we can be so sure. The thread was reported but it hasn't been deleted. I think it's likely the OP isn't coming back because she didn't like the responses. As much as we'd like to believe the thread isn't true, I think it probably is.

CallaLilli · 10/02/2016 15:28

God that's depressing. To think that such a man exists :(

Junosmum · 10/02/2016 18:33

God that's depressing. To think that such a man exists sad

And that there are still women to pander to that kind of behaviour.

OP, I hope things work out for you and your child.

Pippa12 · 10/02/2016 20:45

If the invasive test is £899 and the bloods are £1k I would be perplexed if you didn't just pay the extra £100???

If you must get this done (blood test only from mother/father- I wouldn't so much as eat a rare steak as to keep my unborn baby safe!) I'd be aware your partner will swap one paranoid thought for another.

Do what you need to do DNA wise, but always always put your children first, not your partner or your vision of the 'perfect start'.

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