40+ and pregnant? Come and join the fun!

[cloudjumper]

I am 43 and currently pg with DC2, due early January. I thought it would be nice to have a thread for the pregnant ladies of 'older vintage', similar to the 40+ ttc thread, for advice, support and the occasional moan.

Thanks peeps I haven't had a sleepless night till last night so it's totally because of what he said yesterday! I know it's like being in last chance saloon as it took
18 months to conceive and as my hormones are all over the place with my thyroid I've always said I'd never go down the IVF route!! Will do anything to reduce my chances of losing it!! Some drs need to review their bedside manner!!!

lkelly Your doctor indeed needs to revise his bedside manner That is totally uncalled for! ab is right - a heartbeat at 8 weeks is very reassuring, and your risk of mc really goes down after that. We are all aware of the things that can go wrong 'at our age', but to be honest, I have been on various MN forums for a long long time now, and the age of people with problems during pregnancy is so widespread, I am almost tempted to believe that age is actually not the main factor. Here's to boring and uneventful next 6 months for you! Don't lose any sleep over this.

moon Symptoms come and go, especially in the first trimester. I had a number of times where I freaked out because my sickness had stopped for a day or two, only to then be floored by it on the third. Or it being replaced by another symptom... Constipation, anyone? Or maybe piles? Remember it's different for everyone, take one day at a time.

grizzer We're at the papaya stage here. I agree with you - I have most definitely seen mangos that were bigger than artichokes, or small pomegranates! I suspect that at this stage, there isn't actually that much change from week to week, maybe size'll start shooting up suddenly at some point?

I am having bad indigestion since yesterday, constantly burping, very unpleasant. Might have to resort to peppermint tea... But need to try and enjoy my (decaf) coffee first!

Morning all! I completely agree with Cloudjumper - Lkelly, I've had it all with some doctors - they love to recite their 'facts' and scare the hell out of you, not giving a thought that you are an individual and they are not psychic - he has no idea how your pregnancy will progress, all we know is that a heartbeat at 8 wks is a great sign. I have my first scan on Monday and I'll be 8+5 and all I'm praying for is a heartbeat. I've never had one past 6+5. And like Cloudjumper said, it's not a done deal at any age. We get such a hard time about our ages (I'm 42 and have been trying since I was 38 having found hubby), but people experience all sorts at any age - it's the randomness of it that is so hard to deal with. We can only control so much.

Mooncalf, having read a lot(!) recently, I think it's a fact that symptoms come and go. I was paranoid abut my boob tenderness disappearing after being very sore and I read that the pregnancy hormone hasn't gone down, it's that your body is acclimatising to it.

Cloudjumper (the voice of reason!) I hope your burping subsides!!

My symptoms were on and off, I didn't have any until 10 weeks which wasn't like my previous pregnancies where I was sick and felt terrible the minute I knew ... I've had sickness off and on throughout .. Tingly boobs off and on .... Slight bleed at 7 weeks so its definetly up and down.
Lkelly some people always see the negative ... I had a lady at work who decided to list all the problems and statistics of being 40 and pregnant during a half hour lunch time .... I could of slapped her instead when I got home I had a good cry.

Thanks guys, that's really helping me to stay positive. Interesting to know that your body can acclimatize to it, and it doesn't necessarily mean it's dropping.
I mean I kind of know it can come and go, but

hard not to go on previous personal experience isn't it?
Brookeberry - the best of luck with your scan on Monday, am hoping its all as it should be,

you see your little one fluttering away :)
I think its true - people are so insensitive sometimes, they don't seem to realise that we already know all the negative possibilities and def don't need to be reminded of them!!!
Happy thoughts to all, and thanks again for the support xx

Hello everyone. Popping in again for a moan about being tired. I'm sooooo tired! I've always been a really good sleeper but for the past couple of weeks I've had insomnia and then I spend all day napping and being totally unproductive. Luckily I'm not at work but I can generally only manage to do one thing a day before I'm totally wiped out. Today I have to go to the supermarket, which is 5 minutes away and it's like I'm planning a 100 mile hike the way I have to psyche myself up to go!

Anyone else not sleeping?

Me Siesta - was up at 4am this morning. I've banished DH to the spare bed in DS' room so that I can have more room in the bed. Totally over being pregnant now. 36+2

Goooroo I alternate between bed, sofa, spare bed, kitchen for a drink of water, bathroom for a wee. All night!

I've still got loads of things to originize so I don't want him popping out just yet but give it two more weeks I'll be giving him all the encouragement I can!

Thank you so much for some reassurance!! Just trying to take it easy for the next 4 weeks which for me is a nightmare! I never sit doing nothing but some things are worth a little inconvenience!! So lovely to read so many positive experiences!! Xx

I've turned 41 today... was hoping baby was going to be here before my birthday but unfortunately not ... I'm just walking like a waddling duck

Happy birthday Lola

Happy birthday Lola! I turn 41 next week and have the same dream that the baby will arrive before then!

Thank you , definetly feeling it today, been sick a couple of times and feel that I'm about to lay an egg, as baby feels really low. Decided not to go out this evening with other half, will wait until baby is here so I can eat as much as I like and what I like( oh and a small glass of bubbly too )

I'm just 40 and found out i am nearly 8 weeks pregnant. I have a nearly 3 ds. To say i am devastated is an understatement. I didnt think it through. I had a terrible birth experience and the 1st year was the worst of my life. I feel terrible saying all this. Its all just come back to me. I was making plans for the future so not coping. I have a supportive dh, nice home so dont know why i feel like this.

Firstly congratulations milkyman. Sorry it's all a bit of a shock for you. I am 42 & have a 5 yr old dd who is quite independent now. Was just starting to accept another successful pregnancy wasn't going to happen when I discovered I was pregnant. The difference is I did want another child but without the big gap. I am very happy to be having another but am definitely panicking about my energy levels & remembering what life was like with a new born. I feel like I don't remember a thing about how to look after a baby! Panic & anxiousness is completely normal. Hopefully you'll feel better in the next few weeks. I also had an awful experience after the birth, resulting in blood transfusions & weeks in hospital. The way I see it is that there is no way they will let things get that bad again & they will keep an extra eye on things. Hope you feel better soon.

Milkyman I'm sorry you are feeling so low. Having such a rough time of it first time round is bound to have an effect on you but it doesn't mean that will be your experience this time round. Are you able to get any counselling or cbt for your anxiety? Easier said than done when you have a young dc I know. Please be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time.

for Milkyman. Did you ever do a reflective birth experience to talk through the issues with a professional/counsellor? It may help.

Question for everyone - are you taking any supplements during pregnancy? I've taken folic acid up until now (just stopped as 13 weeks) and have switched to Wilkos cheapo version of Pregnacare, and notice that it still contains the same amount of folic acid in each daily tablet? So a bit confused as to why we're told to stop taking folic acid at 12 weeks, and yet the Pregnacare style tablets contain the same amount?

mrslebon I think that the risk of spina bifida etc. goes away after 12 weeks, it must not be harmful to keep taking it beyond that. I'm taking Pregnancare Max.

I'm feeling a bit less anxious now and slept much better last night after two rubbish nights. I didn't sleep well during my first pregnancy but of course then I didn't have about a thousand hours of sleep debt racked up! I'm going to look hideous! Hoping I won't put on as much weight this time round especially so since I'm still carrying about ten pounds from last time. I'm not working so won't be tempted by a croissant when I get to work and Pret lunch every day, that's got to help!

I'm taking a pregnancy supplement which contains folic acid and I'm 36 weeks. It can't do any harm if it's in a pregnancy supplement. I'm also taking something for an overactive thyroid which I've been told to stop once the baby arrives.

As for weight, today I saw the midwife and she mentioned that I've put on a lot. She wasn't critical about it just factual. I've put on 15 kilos, which is the maximum you're supposed to put on for the whole pregnancy. I'm hoping the weight gain slows down a bit in these last few weeks but there have been times during this pregnancy when I've been really hungry!

I nibble my way through the day otherwise I get all shaky! I avoid the scales but am starting to worry about my diabetes test at the end of this month......
Without wishing to make you all sick, I am going back to work tomorrow after a nine week summer holiday (private school). So when I finished I was just over 12 weeks & had only told a couple of people & when I go back I'll be almost 22 weeks! Can't wait to see everyone's faces when I waddle in
Happy belated birthday Lola. Any twinges yet?

Hi - just saying a tentative hello - really didn't expect to be posting here...

I'm 44 and got a surprise BFP last week. A surprise because I've recently had blood tests which the GP described as 'perimenopausal', I've got a medical condition which makes conception difficult, and because there has been a distinct lack of DTD for some time...

I'm a few weeks' pregnant, but no idea how many. Somewhere over the summer I just lost track of things and frankly had given up as knew conception was unlikely. I think we DTD once or twice last month but no idea when that was.

I have a 2yo DD, born when I was 41 and I am a veteran of earlier 40+ threads - Cloudjumper I remember your name well and am so pleased for you!

I nearly didn't test but last week started getting a bit edgy - knew AF was late (and been having strange dreams, nausea/tiredness and lots of weeing for a little while), went shopping and the supermarket smelt disgusting, and had just accepted a new job earlier that day (have been on a career break since last year). We were also about to leave for a festival. So I POAS not really thinking about results and 5 seconds later there was a very, very dark line.

I'm shocked and terrified and would be very pleased if I knew everything was going to be ok. They can't tell you that though, can they? I need to get an early scan to establish dates but no idea when to do that as am worried it might be too soon to see anything. If I could just hide away for a few months in my room that would be lovely...

One other thing, before I had DD, I had a v regular 28 day cycle with ovulation slap bang in the middle. It made everything very easy to remember. Since I had her, I've shifted to 26 days and ovulation around day 7 I think. If I did manage to work out the date of LMP, what effect would that have? Would I be a week further along than the official dates?

I'm feeling very befuddled and embarrassed right now

Congratulations and best wishes to everyone on this thread - it's not an easy journey!

Congratulations EagleRay. If you used a clearblue conception indicator test would that help? I think you can get an early scan from 6/7 weeks, I've booked one for when I'll be 7+2. Last time I had one at 6+5 and we saw the heartbeat. I had my ds at 41 and I'll be 44 on the due date for this baby so very similar to you.

Grizzer I hope your first day back at school went well.

Siesta I was starving a lot during my pregnancy, do you know what you are having? I read that women who are hungrier in pregnancy more often had boys so that convinced me I was having a boy. I did but of course I had a 50% chance of being right . You have done fairly well with your weight gain from the sound of it, I put on more than that

Hello, mind if I join you? I'm 41.5 (years) and 22+2 (weeks along) with one DD (3.5) already.

It's been lovely (and very reassuring) reading through this thread and seeing so many positive stories, familiar experiences and similar situations.

I was 37 when my DD was born (oh alright, I turned 38 five days later). The path to that pregnancy was rather long (took us 4+ years TTC because of PCOS among other things, but we got there naturally in the end) but the pregnancy itself was straightforward, even though I was the oldest person in our antenatal group by TWELVE YEARS and felt like a granny most of the time. Had a lovely uncomplicated home birth and then thought that was that - always assumed that because it was so hard to conceive with DD that she was destined to be the one and only - and we were fine with that.

Finally got around to flogging on/giving away all our major baby kit in April this year (cot, car seat, travel system, changing unit etc) and then wouldn't you know it, in early May I realised my AF was a bit late and several rather disbelieving tests later, there we were surrounded by blue lines and a preschooler who just wanted mummy and daddy to stop hugging in the bathroom please. Surprise! It has taken us a while to a) get our heads round it b) believe it's going to actually progress and c) think about what the reality of it means. Not sure I'm there yet, tbh, though finding out gender (another girl) the other week made it seem a little more real.

This pregnancy is in some ways much like my last (epic motion-sickness like morning sickness until 15 weeks but no actual vom) but in other ways very different. I'm so tired I could win olympic medals in napping given half a chance. Between my advancing decrepitude and the underactive thyroid I ended up with after DD was born, I have a preposterous amount of consultant appointments, scans and so on (e.g. in october alone: 2 consultant appts, 1 midwife appt, a gp appt, GTT, thyroid blood test and 34wk growth scan), medication every day, blood tests every few weeks - and lots of grey haired men wagging their fingers at me and saying home birth is off the menu this time round, and that they won't let me go beyond 40 weeks without evicting the little'un. They're like vultures. It's ever so stressful.

I don't feel that different to last time round (apart from more knackered), but they're treating me like some sort of medical curio. It's a bit weird.

Anyway, that's me. Hello!

Congratulations Djini! I sold DD's cot and changing table a couple of weeks ago and told the cot buyers (a couple expecting their first child) that we were unable to have any more children and so it was time to wave it goodbye. I was already pregnant when I had this conversation with them

Re the induction stuff - they can't stop you from going beyone 40 weeks - it's just that some hospitals have a recommended 40 week induction policy for 40+ mothers. Given the number of MN posters I've seen who have been 'told' they will have an induction though, I worry about how this information gets presented to them! When I had DD, I was the age you are now and refused induction (for various reasons) and had her at 40+8. I'm not thinking too far ahead at the moment as only really thinking about getting through each day, but if things DO progress I need to have some fairly lengthy conversations with the docs.

Ababsurdum - that's interesting that you have been pregnant at similar ages to me! Re the Clearblue tests, I had a couple of old digital tests in a drawer and on the morning I found out, I used both the tests but they didn't work (blank screen), then realised they were years out of date! I then went and bought a 2-pack of supermarket cheapies in the afternoon for a couple of reasons - a) I didn't want to spend too much cash on a test which was clearly going to be negative and b) seeing a line appear (or not) on a stick seemed less stressful than a digital pregnant/not pregnant. I'm now too scared to do another test, especially one which has numbers on it! Silly old me...

I'm going to make a few calls tomorrow when DM who is visiting is out of earshot starting with hosp consultant I'm already under, then probably a private scanning place to get advice.

Thought my boobs had stopped hurting earlier today, and then DD clambered onto me and stepped on one of them

ababsurdom you might be on to something, I am having a boy.

Welcome to the thread and congratulations EagleRay and Djini.