best shit place to be #4!! Pregnancy after miscarriage

[Barbiedoll79]

Continuation from previouspost for those pregnant after miscarriage

Wow chasing how exciting! I'm jealous- 11 weeks left for me.

guy I was Devestated when I got made redundant but now the heatwaves here and I'm like .. See Ya! Although I stopped at 33 wks with dd this is ofc mega early.

Onefoot I love Edith and Olivia and they go perfect together. Classic, imo.

However I'd say against your theory - stayed 'team yellow' with dd... chose her name at 14 wks then bickered all the way to the birth suite over a boys.. and then she was a girl.

This time we'd pretty much agreed a boys name prior to conception (will feature somewhere but having doubts on using as a first atm) but we couldn't agree on a girls (I adored Thea Elouise but dh wouldn't commit) .. he certainly wasn't ready to commit to any girls name when 20w scan revealed a boy. Soo...

chasing you enjoy that mat leave - it will be great to spend some time with your DD before you get too big and uncomfortable :-).
Unfortunately we won't be able to afford to keep nanny while I'm not working - I would love to have some help as have no local family. But to be honest it will be a relief to let her go - won't go into detail but have had a long list of continued issues with her. I do obviously want to do the right thing by her as an employer though so wouldn't dream of messing her around but equally being left with no childcare would be a disaster for us.
Love the name Olivia Edith one foot

Oh I am in s dilemma, I have been on a few job sites for about a year due too the previous boss and I know that I have just been given a promotion however a job has just come up that I would love, much more family friendly and better pay. I know I would be out of pocket for mat pay and mat leave but we could do that shared mat leave thing which I think dh would like come round to.

One foot I forget will this be your first? New job sounds amazing but don't underestimate that precious time that is mat leave... we've waited a long time for these babies. I love my work but I love being with my babies more. We don't get these early years back xx

Romeo sorry to hear she's not that great. I'm awesome :-D

Onefoot, I would apply for the job. You can always change your mind later.
I got a new job when dd was about 8 months old and it was absolutely the right thing to do. I did start work a couple of months earlier than I intended. But it is 3 days a week (rare in my field) and I have a lovely boss who is incredibly understanding that family comes first. Plus I absolutely love the job, feel very fulfilled by it and it is a huge part of my happiness. Overall I have much more time with dd than I would of o had waited and taken a full time role. Perfect work-live balance. So depending on the circumstances and what you want, it's always worth looking into.

Good luck for your scan amy! let us know how it goes.

Welcome worka!

chasing I am very envious of mat leave - enjoy every moment!! I've got ages left to go

ps onefoot I love the name . its lovely.

We are nowhere nearer to agreeing on any names!!

It will be my second child, I have a ds who is 3. After talking to dh I have decided to apply for it and see what happens because I may not even get an interview anyway. I know time is precious with this little one especially after everything that I have gone through to get to were I am now, but unfortunately I have to work and I would rather it be in a job that has no weekends and evening events. I suppose I have to take opportunities when they arise.

Go for it onefoot I'm considering applying for jobs if they come up - if I was successful, like you id take a financial hit over maternity but the work/life balance would be so much better! Good luck.

Sorry I meant to say in my first reply.. definitely apply either way. Else you'd always wonder if you should. . It's only really a dilemma if you're offered the job :) I totally see what you say about the work life balance.. for me I'm really worrying about mat leave. Being made redundant means my smp is starting so early - I'm really worrying about when it runs out and surviving on dh wage! But when I had dd I so loved bring a SAHM with her that I didn't take returning to work well mentally. I'm at that stage now where I'm taking bigger steps and progressing and I love my work and I'm aware I'm going to be putting the breaks on that now for the new few years, so I keep just trying to remember how much I loved being a SAHM too.

I was made redundant when 5 months pregnant with ds, by time I hadnt worked for 18 months I was ready to go back to work. I felt it was better for ds and my relationship as I think we were frustrated at being together all the time, I know that sounds mad but it was like I was looking forward to seeing him when I got home rather than getting up and doing the same thing everyday. I found brig a sahm hard and I don't think I could do it.

You are right though chasing it is only a dilemma if I am offered the job. I am a big believer in fate (although that didn't help with my misscarriages). What will be will be.

One foot I agree. I loved being at home with DD but after I had DS I found being at home with 2 (under 2) really hard work and was glad to go back to work. I did go back part time though and for me that has been the perfect balance. I know not everyone is lucky enough to have that as an option and it is a luxury really but not without sacrifice - I have kissed goodbye to any real chance of career progression etc and being part time means we don't have so much spare cash for fun things and holidays etc. Chasing I also identify with those feelings of putting your career on the back burner for a while - these are things men just don't have to deal with!

I think I take to SAHM well simply for the nature of my job.. I'm essentially a SAHM for someone else I guess. But I love my niches, mums postnatal care, I love studying sleep, I love helping mums establish breastfeeding etc. I stopped with the poorly children after I had dd. I don't have the emotional stability for that anymore. I change it up every few years, always under 5s but I'll spend a few years enjoying toddlers and preschoolers and then I go back to the littles and the mums. I love it all but ofc with work. . It's different and it changes regularly. .... SAHM can be tedious.. some days I feel like I might cry if I have to negotiate with my child why she can't have bloody cheesy pasta for breakfast lunch and dinner! But over all I think my job means I found easing into my own motherhood much easier.

. . It all feels a bit weird for me right now! I take so much pride in working that it takes me a long time to readjust to SAHM and then back to work again. .

I'm just gonna enjoy these next couple of years with my children and will refocus on my work when I can :-)

Crossing everything for your job application xx

Yes I always think the sahm / wohm rivalry is so silly. I mean we're all different, aren't we? I have friends who live being sahm. Personally I love working part time- it keeps me sane. No right answer, other than what's right for you.

Guybrush I love you, you think exactly the same as me I didn't want to put that because I didn't want start big debate, I think it's silly too, at the end of the day we are all mums which is the most important part.

What's a wohm? I completely agree. And I definitely definitely think it's most important that the time you spend with your smalls is enjoyable, whether that's SAHM. Or working outside the home and coming home to enjoy them.

Part time working has been perfect for me. I went f-t briefly and couldn't juggle it all. I did really lovely my year as a SAHM though.

I'm hoping to go 2-3 days term time only when I first go back.

Right now I feel a bit scared and.. redundant I guess.

chasing I think you might be right about your job easing you into motherhood. My sister and a few of my friends work in the local children's hospital or are childminders and they are like super natural with children all have more patience than I ever imagine I could have and are wonderful mums.

I think people who work with children are marvels. I don't think it is as easy as people who don't work with children think it is.

I have just read my post back and it made me laugh, I know other people too who don't work in childcare.

Don't feel redundant do all the things you need to do before baby comes make a list,queen of lists here, although they should include cups of tea and feet up too. You could get ready for the c word, have a de clutter, although when I have a declutter there is still loads of clutter left.

Wohm is working out of home, the only kind of mum I dont understand is the working at home mum, I wouldn't get anything done I would spend too much time on my break and watching TV and proably get sacked.

Ah I see- and no I have tried studying at home with dd and I got sod all done.. nevermind trying to work!

I'm just thinking I should start to sort out bedroom out I guess. Move the chest of drawers and start assessing what I've got and don't have. . Dds clothes etc I guess.

Feeling a bit emotionally all over the shop today. Going to really miss my charges when I leave next week. Dd will miss them too.

Second babies are scary. Giving up work is scary.. losing my wage is scary. Gah.

Sorry. Just railroaded the thread all about me me me.

I'm going to the chipshop!

Chest of draws? ..

Not at all chasing that's what we are here for.

It is scary, I am sure everything will be ok. Just have faith everything will be. We will all adjust to everything that is put in our way. Sending you a hug.

Now I'm thinking of chips with loads of vinigar.

It's all scary chasing. We female-labours analyse out choices to death as well! But no decision has to be permanent, everything can be reassessed. And you're right- relatively speaking, the next few years are short and we don't get them back. So just feel confident that you are making the right decision for you.
Men don't tend to have such angst about their choices.
I'm incredibly lucky that having a part time time I love really feels like 'having it all'. Time at home, fulfilling career. Except having three in childcare will cost more than my salary so to keep my life the way I like it and ensure future employability, we are taking a financial hit. A lot of people wouldn't work in my situation but for me, it is the right thing to do.
I guess I just mean- it's all scary for all of us, irrespective of personal situation and choice.

That was a complete waste of my time. Follwing gp's advice had made an appointment early to see the midwife. Turned up at the surgery to find they had canceled the appointment, as I'm 6-7 weeks not 8, and not bothered to tell me I needed to rearange!

I wouldn't have been paticually bothered about changing it had I been told. But having spent the past couple of days phycing myself up for it and taking the massive step (for me) of filling in the first few pages of maternity notes, it's made me feel rotten. The midwife herself is lovely and very embarased no one had contacted me. I'm going to drive myself and dh crazy this week.

On top of all that dh is going to have to find someone to cover part of his on call shift again, so he can have dd.

Ah dobby that's rubbish they should have contacted you!

Had our re-scan with a different sonographer and she was horrible. Really had a go at me because my bladder wasn't full enough (no one had said anyway that it needed to be) and she was really jabbing me hard it was painful which I kept telling her and kept getting ignored! We had to come out and had to drink a ton of water, she took us back in (pretty much straight away) and then complained my bladder still wasn't full... then we tried the better machine in the next roon which was a bit clearer but she was still twisting. Anyhow!.. She asked another woman to come and check the heart and she said straight away it was fine. And so was his face. Couldn't get a good side view of him again but not important. He has since been kicking me non stop, probably wondering what all the fuss was about before!