Plenty of chocolate and support all round - #5 posifrickintive thread for those pregnant after miscarriage

[Treaclepie19]

for those who feel well enough to eat it :)

I'll update stats again after broody and little have brought their little ones into the world and also and newbies on. Hope you heard that baby broody and baby little!

Thank you everyone. I have resisted the urge to test yesterday and today! When I think 'oooh, maybe I'll just poas' I think of what you would say to me and leave them alone. I still haven't quite brought myself to cut up the sticks though. I had a bit of spotting yesterday morning so the EPU have brought my scan forward to Thursday this week. I am very nervous but trying to be as zen as possible about it - what will be will be and there's nothing I can do to stop it. But I can't bring myself to cut up the pg tests test in case I need them again in the next few months.

Tft well done on putting the tests down I know it can be so tempting! Broody that's a good precedent to have with DD so here's hoping today is the day! I'm off to march (waddle) around North London parks again to see if that helps. Things are definitely moving in the right direction - if feeling like the baby is literally about to fall out is a good sign?? At my last appointment mw mentioned that they'd give me a sweep on my due date appointment (Saturday coming) if I want one. Tempted, assuming he hasn't shown up yet, but is 40wks a bit early for that kind of thing?

I think it's quite a normal thing to do a sweep on your edd little. It's fully cooked now anyway so just helps to stretch out the cervix in preparation. Sounds like little little is ready to make an appearance

I think feeling like the baby is about to fall out is a good sign little! Reminds me of when I got out of bed one morning when pg with DS and thought he was going to drop out, ha! Think he was born within days of it happening.

Thanks bumble and March - mw said that it feels a bit like a smear (not exactly my idea of fun but I don't mind them as much as some people) and that there was a small risk they might break my waters accidentally but that it was unusual - so I think I'll probably take them up on the offer!

Thanks everyone, it's so nice having people who understand what place I'm in (crap as it is that we've all been there).

Well done putting down the sticks tft, I haven't done so well! Finally had a chance to buy a digital today - thought it might clear up my confusion over dates as im either 7 weeks or 3, and it did, said 3+ so I think my earlier dates are right and I'm that little bit closer

That's good news then suz, great that you 'skipped' those weeks of worry!

Sorry to hear you've had some spotting tft, keeping my fingers crossed that it comes to nothing for you,but glad they've moved your scan forwards x

I'm afraid I need yet more advice, has anyone been referred for cbt? I was already struggling with anxiety but thought I had it under control. Unfortunately I've been dealt a bit of a sledgehammer today in that my dad has been diagnosed as terminally ill. It's not a shock, we knew at the end of his previous treatment that it could go either way, however the prognosis is 4-6 months meaning that it is unlikely he will meet the baby. This sounds incredibly selfish but I know the next few months will be very stressful, I'm prepared to do whatever is necessary to spend time with him and help out, however I do also worry what effect this may have on the baby. When we found out the age of the baby when I miscarried I was stunned, it was the same week that my nan died. I know the two aren't linked but it does make me curious if there is a link between stress and miscarriage, and I want to do everything I can (as we all do) to make sure things are ok, especially for my family. If my dad manages to make it as far as the birth it would be great for him to meet his grandchild, but equally this needs to be good news for the rest of the family to look forward to. Does anybody have experience of cbt as a preventative measure for anxiety?

I'm so sorry to hear of your dads prognosis Nouser. I so hope your Dad gets to meet his grandchild. I'm sorry I don't have anything useful to add about cbt but wanted to let you know how sorry I am. When the time comes to say goodbye, I hope that having your little baby will help you through it over the months that follow. xxx

So sorry to hear that Nouser.

I had already been referred for cbt before getting pregnant for anxiety and so went to my assessment while pregnant.
I did have some other counselling beforehand though so by the time my referral came through I didn't feel I needed it.
Got signed off. Now, incredibly anxious. Whoops.
I'd say definitely get referred and get the ball rolling.
Just to say though Ive been signed off work for stress the whole pregnancy.
Babies are more resilient than we think though.
Sending hugs!

So sorry Nouser

Thank you for the support, and the advice treacle, I hope that things have got a bit easier for you since the treatment.
I'm really genuinely ok with the news, the doctors were very honest in managing our expectations right from the diagnosis although we would have obviously preferred positive news. Unfortunately cancer affects all of us in some way nowadays, I've got a few friends who have already lost a parent in this way. Didn't mean to put a depressing slant on the group, could do with some scan or baby news to lift it now!

nouser I would recommend at least giving CBT a go, I've done it twice now, but im very stuck in my ways ( I also found my therapist most useless, as his recommendation was to 'think about something else...) I think I just got shit luck. What I found most helpful was seeing the mental health nurse at my gp surgery, she helped me through a lot. I'd say go and see your Dr and ask for their advice. Sorry you have received such bad news at an already worrying time, lots of love to you xxx

nouser So so sorry to hear about your dad. I don't have any advice/knowledge about CBT, but I do know about losing your dad while pg. My dad was diagnosed with a brain tumour just a few weeks before I found out I was pg with DS, and sadly, he passed away before DS was born. It is one of my biggest regrets in life that he has never met his grandson whom he would have loved so much.

It is incredibly hard, to see someone close to you pass away, while you are trying to focus on one of the happiest things happening to you at the same time. The rollercoaster of emotions is exhausting. You are definitely doing the right thing in getting some therapy to help you with it all! Whatever helps.
I would say that being pg and then having DS helped me get through the dark times - it gave me something positive that I had to focus on. I think that it was all much harder for my mother and my siblings who did not have that lifeline.
Hope you are OK - wishing you and your family lots of strength in this difficult time!

I am so sorry to hear about your dad nouser.
for you.

So sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis nouser. Unfortunately i have nothing useful to say about cbt, but i think it's good that you are thinking of some coping mechanisms. I hope he will get to see his grandchild but I'm sure he's going to be more worried that you are ok. I found when my step dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness, he was the one that was ok with it and it was all of us that fell apart. Hugs x

nouser so sorry to hear about your Dad. Even if not unexpected, it's still hard news to process, especially on top of being pregnant. I have heard good things about CBT although not had it myself, I think it's especially good for teaching techniques to break cycles of thought - probably something we could have all done with in the middle of the night when not sleeping.
If you don't have any joy with your Dr. there is a charity I used to work with called Anxiety UK. They are Manchester based but have a nationwide network of therapists (all sorts of therapy, not just CBT) and will try and get you an appointment within 2 weeks. They also offer remote CBT via web/e-mail which could be something to try as well depending on your feelings about it. Anyway, their website might be useful if nothing else.
Sending lots of hugs to you and your whole family

So sorry about your dad nouser, I very much hope he gets to meet his grandchild. No experience with CBT I'm afraid, but it surely can't hurt to try.

We had our 20 week scan today and all is looking good. (Well, when I looked at the measurements after we'd got home I noticed that most of them seem to have slipped down the percentile charts a bit compared to 16 weeks, so I might mention that at the next scan, but hopefully it's nothing to worry about.)

Also saw one of the doctors and mentioned I'd like an elcs this time, he did his best to put me off the idea but I was kind of expecting that (and assured him that I'm under no illusion that it would be an "easy option"!). Hopefully if I just stick to my guns they'll agree to it eventually.

metal great news on your scan

Congrats on the scan metal ! X

Great news on your scan metal! I'm sure if they were at all concerned about the growth they would mention it, and babies move between centiles all the time after birth so only normal to expect them to inside the womb too...

I had my scan today at 8.5 wks and all looked good. They had seen a small bit of blood on my previous scan 2wks ago (although weren't concerned) and that had gone so one less thing to worry about! Feeling relieved (for now!) x

So pleased your scans went well metal and bumble.

Mine is tomorrow morning but I am dreading it as I think it might be bad news. I've had some brown spotting and loads of CM today which is pretty much what happened last time I mc. Google (I know!) suggests a lot of CM is an early sign of mc and my experience agrees with that. There's still a small bit of hope that everything's ok but I am preparing for the worst.

Great scan news metal

Sorry you are so worried tft. Really hoping for a good outcome for you x