Mum wants to come to scan partner says NO!

[Tia2005]

I'm 32 just sayin . My mum wants to come to my next scan 20 weeks ? My partner says no it should just be the two of us I can't see the problem he's gone off on one is it just me I can't see a problem with it

OP, I have read through some of your recent posts and you seem a bit....confused maybe about this pregnancy? You were scared to tell your parents, you considered abortion, and you were concerned you would end up raising the baby alone as you and your partner split up.

I understand there is a big discussion here about in general whether a dad should be allowed to the scan. In your individual situation though, I would take your mum. You seem very uncertain about the pregnancy and your relationship, so it sounds like you need someone there you can rely on.

If nearer the time the dad wants to come too, I can't see why him and your mum cant both go. With both our scans, we were very worried as the pregnancy is high risk, so we wanted my mum there for extra support. Me and dh went in first, and once basic checks were done, they allowed my mum in. If anything had been wrong, we would have wanted her there. Maybe you could do something similar?

My mum went with me and my DH to my 20 week scan, but I would have understood if he'd said no. In case anything would have been wrong, I wouldn't have minded my mum finding out as well, but I would ask her to step out while discussing things. If a hard decision needed to be made, that would have been between me and my DH.
Some places only allow one extra person to come with you, in which case your mum will have to wait in the hallway anyway.

I agree with your partner. Why not his Mum and sisters and aunties and uncles and everybody.

Ideally mum and dad will be in agreement about who attends scans, birth and medical appointments related to pregnancy but ultimately it is the woman who decides. It is her body and her medical appointment and she has the right to decide who does or doesn't attend. It's fundamental that women have bodily autonomy especially during pregnancy and birth.

Quite horrified that anyone would think otherwise.

I can't believe someone said that having her mother at the scan at 32 years old is pathetic!? Anyone considered that OP and her mother could be really close!? I am 28 and having my mother at the birth and partner is happy for her to be there as support, but i guess that is pathetic.
Also as i was excited for my scans to see the baby developing....there i was thinking it was an 'exhibition' and a 'fun day out' hmmmm. People need to lighten the hell up. If i enjoy the scans and like seeing my baby on the screen WHO CARES.....it is our first baby and we are excited. If someone does something different to you it does not make them wrong. Jesus, people need to lighten up!!!!!!!

Tge thing is, the scan directly affects the OP in a way it never would affect the dad.

I had 3 miscarriages identified via scans. My DH didn't have the ERPC operations or weeks of pain.
I had a partial molar pregnancy identified by my epu. It was me who had 6 months of visiting Charing Cross oncology with chemo hovering over my head if the weekly bloods showed the wrong thing.
It was me that had my cervix prodded and poked.
It was me that had months of tests.
It was me that injected Clexane daily when a scan showed I was pregnant again.
When I had a sweep, I then pushed out the baby, bled for 6 weeks etc.

Our DD is ours.
Medical interventions regarding pregnancy were My burden - and those following a scan can be risky or unpleasant.
My DH understood I might want someone who had been there by my side ... but even if he hadn't, I was the patient so I had a right to female support if I wished.

Viviennemary Ever heard of a strawman argument? Yours is an excellent example.