Mum wants to come to scan partner says NO!

[Tia2005]

I'm 32 just sayin . My mum wants to come to my next scan 20 weeks ? My partner says no it should just be the two of us I can't see the problem he's gone off on one is it just me I can't see a problem with it

My husband and I are divorcing, he has left the country and did not want to attend the 12 week scan. My mum and sister attended the 20 week scan with me , at university college hospital in London. The sonographer had no issue with 2 people instead of one, and welcomed " granny".
Of course it is a medical appointment, not entertainment, and we went in with that attitude -but hospitals see it all, so I don't think what is normal should influence your decision, it is what is right for you.

The 4 d scans - if you go for this, there are certain weeks which are best -can't recall but check you will see before baby gets too squashed in there!

No reason OP's partner can't be at the private scan as well as the mother, they are usually less stringent around how many people are in the room.

Mehitabel can you link me to any findings or research on that please.

I think you should respect your partners wishes above your mum's with regard to the NHS scan. Perhaps he wants it to be something private for just the two of you to share as a couple.

However, I would absolutely not accept him telling me that she couldn't come to a private scan afterwards instead!

It was in the paper about 2 weeks ago- I will see if I can find it.

If it was in a newspaper it doesn't matter because my unis research says differently just wanted to see if the figures are anywhere near the same!

I mean it is double standards on providing a private one for mother to have a viewing- as if it is a social occasion!

But Mehitabel the purpose of an NHS scan is to check on the health of the baby. It is a medical procedure. While they also do some basic checks at a private scan, these are more to take a look at the baby after other checks have been done.

I know that THEw he can't really stop a private scan though can he?

Unless this isn't an isolated incident and there's a bit if a back story to this relationship.

No way id have either my mother or MIL at the birth!

If scans are so private why do people post pictures all over Facebook?

With a quick google I found an old report but the newspaper report a short while ago backed it up. Basically good as a diagnostic tool but bad for no other purpose than photos for granny.

sandgrown not everyone does! I have never posted a scan picture on Facebook (or anywhere else). I don't want the world seeing a picture of the inside of my uterus

Basically I would curb mother, MIL now - or they will be very intrusive later. I hate to think of the arguments over the birth!

From that link;

The main finding is that there is no evidence that ultrasound increases the risk of mortality or cancer to the developing foetus or newborn baby. However, there are some unconfirmed reports that ultrasound could affect the developing nervous system, potentially affecting what would be the child’s natural handedness (whether they are right or left handed).

Unconfirmed therefor don't count towards any scientific argument

Ultrasound evidence in humans has mainly been concerned with in utero (within the womb) exposures. These studies have found no evidence that ultrasound affects mortality around the time of pregnancy or birth, or has any effect on childhood cancers. In randomised-controlled trials there has been ‘weak evidence’ that it may affect whether a child is right or left handed (known as handedness), which the reviewers say may be the result of confounding, rather than actual causation.

AGNIR says there is no conclusive evidence that ultrasound is dangerous to the developing baby.

It basically says more research should be done. I have to have a scan every 3-4 weeks after my 20 week scan. If I could afford private scans id get one now to put my mind at ease.

No, it's a private thing. You and your husband and baby.

Owl so by that if he wanted her to get rid of the baby she should?

Do explain how that is in ANY way similar to having your mother attend a ultrasound scan...

Sounds a bit pathetic to want her there at 32.
For me if I was a man it would be a red flag that mil might become to involved in our lives once baby arrived

That report was 5 yrs old!
I wouldn't hesitate for good reason. I wouldn't risk it because my mother didn't want to feel left out!
Each to their own.

No it's in response to it's both their baby actually.

If scans are so private why do people post pictures all over Facebook?

I imagine because one is a medical procedure to discover whether there is anything wrong with your baby and the other is a photo.