Very Scared!

[Arkkorox]

After being up half the night reading the forum ive finaly plucked up the courage to ask you guys for some advice. Bear with me its a long one but I really need to speak to people who know.

Im pregnant and going for my first scan tomorrow - at an abortion clinic. Now this was a bit of a knee jerk panic reaction however I have a feeling that Im going to be over 24 weeks. My last bleed was in april and just for 2 days but heavy. Since then ive had no more bleeding but because of being on the large side its not odd for my periods to come and go as they please. I have had absolutley no symptoms at all, no sickness, no sore boobs, nothing. Untill 2 weeks ago when I felt incredibly bloated and then wednesday when i had a leaky nipple. Took a pregnancy test on thursday and it was positive. Went to the doctors on friday and have my scan tomorrow.

Im 25, been in a relationship with my brilliant boyfriend for 5 years. But we are terrified. Currently living appart to save up for a house depoisit but I changed jobs 2 months ago and he was made redundant a month ago. Hes with his parents and im living with my nan as she sometimes needs help in the night if she falls etc.

If im correct in counting from my bleed in april that would put me at about 27 weeks.... so possibly no going back now! Which Im not entirely dissapointed about and neither is my OH, hes been lovely and less panicky than me!

My biggest issue is telling my parents. My mum is going to totaly flip and I dont want to ruin our good relationship especialy this close to christmas. Please say someone else has been in my shoes? Im so scared its going to ruin everything!!!!

[NewEraNewMindset]

OMG! I can't believe they did that! I assume your mum has rung you?

[Arkkorox]

Haven't heard anything yet so I assume she's not listened to it yet.

[NewEraNewMindset]

Can you get in there first before they pick the message up?

[WrappedInABlankie]

Ring them and leave a voicemail staff surprise.., and to ring you if they want to talk?

[WrappedInABlankie]

Saying* not staff

[maccie]

How are feeling ark ? Is your partner with you tonight ?

[Peaceloveandbiscuits]

Hi OP. I'm near Guildford too and 31 weeks atm. I don't know what I'm doing either, and I've had about 7 months to get my head round it! Feel free to PM me :)

[Arkkorox]

Sorry Ive been with my wonderful friends who have had me crying hystericaly at them for about 3 hours.

Ive left my partner to it tonight, hes been helping a mate with his car and is now having a pint and a chat with another mate, I think hes calming down. Hope so anyway.

And I have managed to totaly boggle my mind with what you should and shouldnt do. Argh. Slings and carriers?! Well thats a whole world of confusion isnt it!

Im feeling a bit better, was even a bit excited earlier when we were planning a baby themed shopping trip for saturday but have come crashing down to reality now im home and would quite like the ground to swallow me up now....

[MummyCoolski]

I hope you managed to get some sleep. How are you this morning?

[NewEraNewMindset]

Aaaaah Keep talking to us chick, I can't wait to see pictures if your gorgeous baby Girl or Boy. Are you going to find out the sex at the scan?

[confusedandemployed]

Ark, honestly, YOU WILL BE FINE. Everyone is shit scared at this stage, no matter how long they've known.
It's hard - really hard - but try to go with the flow. It's great that your DP is calming down now. Go and enjoy your shopping trip. Get excited about your baby, it is allowed! YYY to checking EBay and local FB selling sites. I think I spent about £100 on DD before she was born. Everything, just everything, was given second hand. The only brand new things I bought was a bit of furniture (IKEA), a cot mattress and a Moses basket. Oh, and a few sleepsuits etc. At first all you will need are:
Moses basket
Sleepsuits
Cellular blankets (a few)
Hat
Baby bath (but you can bathe with your baby if you prefer and there's no rush to bathe too often)
Pram or sling. I never had a pram, went straight to buggy aged 12 weeks when not using sling.
Nappies and wipes or cotton wool
Bottles, formula and steriliser if you will be FF.

Everything else is incidental.

[Arkkorox]

Well after not hearing anything from my partner after texting him the details of the hospital appointment last night I got a text just before I went to bed saying that of course he will be there and he loves me.... I'm gonna guess tomorrow is going to freak him out a bit as well so we shall see. Never been so happy to receive a text in my whole life, honestly thought he had gone off on one ( he has aspergers so things like this were never going to be straight forward)

I'm getting a bit excited to see baby now, though worried incase there's anything wrong. All the professionals seem to be shocked I'm so far gone with no symptoms at all ( comforting... Not!)

We will be finding out the sex today, I kind of hope for my partners sake it's a boy as he's already chosen a name ( months ago when we were chatting about our future - little did we know I was pregnant at the time!!!!!) at the mo I'm just a bit overwhelmed with info and trying to sort it all in my head in terms of what's best for baby etc.

Oh And apparently 4:30 am is ' rave in the womb' o'clock.....

[Arkkorox]

I would like to breast feed but other than some slight nipple leakage and them changing in colour and shape nothing much has happened in the boob department. They've not grown and they've not been sore at all. As silly as it sounds, what if they don't work :(

[Roonerspism]

arkkorox can I just say "wow!" (and congratulations) that anyone can get to 35 weeks and not realise they are pregnant...

I'm such a nauseous shambles of a human by 4 weeks. I take my hat off to you!

I have no wise words other than - there is never a brilliant time to have a baby - finances/houses/jobs - it is always tricky. But you get there, you somehow manage and they are the most wonderful little beings that you fall in love with.

Has your mum taken it OK? She will once s/he is here, I'm sure.

Newborns don't actually need much stuff. You can the absolute essentials second hand - try gumtree.

[Arkkorox]

I still think my scan yesterday was wrong and I'm not 35 weeks after all, more like 28-30, will find out today I guess.

I still haven't told my parents and to be honest that's the scariest thing about all of this! I wanted to know due date etc before I told them so hopefully I can just shove information at them and run away till the storm passes.

[CaptainSinker]

Don't worry about breastfeeding. Size of boobs etc is no indicator of how things will go. Believe me, a couple of days after giving birth things will look and feel different! The delivery of the placenta triggers things to get going so perfectly normal not to produce milk or anything at this stage.

Great that your partner is able to offer you some reassurance.

I think there are some grants for pregnant women - healthy eating grant or something? Unless it has been cut. Hope your next scan goes well. They might to be able to commit completely to a date at this stage, I think it is easier to date a pregnancy early on.

[Bellyrub1980]

That text from your DP brought a lump to my throat! (40+2 and very easily emotional at the moment!)

[CaptainSinker]

Sorry, just checked and the pregnancy grant is no longer available you will get child benefit and probably tax credits, which will help with expenses early on.

[Arkkorox]

This is why I don't trust that woman saying ' you've got 5 weeks to go!' Yesterday ( cheers for that, totally freaked my partner out you twallop)

Well we shall know in about 6 hours. Looks like I'm set for an afternoon of being a pin cushion and peeing into things.

Do you think that my partner seeing the baby on the scan will help him adjust? Either way I'm holding the car keys lol

[Arkkorox]

I do qualify for the sure start grant though, which will be used for buying a car seat I think!

[CaptainSinker]

Seeing the baby definitely helped me and my partner adjust, but I think for many men (inc my DP) it doesn't really feel real til the baby comes. It sounds like he is doing OK, so focus on what you need and let him know how to support you.

My friend had 2 pregnancies where she didn't realise she was pregnant til about 7 months! I have photos of her just before she found out and she doesn't look pregnant! It does happen, and doesn't really matter. She is a great, happy Mum.

[CaptainSinker]

That's good about the sure start grant. Hopefully midwife will let you know if there is anything else. But really, new babies need very little, especially if you are breastfeeding.

[Arkkorox]

Well he might not have long to wait! I don't think it's even sunk in for me yet properly. I don't feel like I thought I would feel when pregnant. But then does anyone?

the world of baby stuff is totally mind boggling. I have spent 2 hours looking at prams and car seats and I'm no closer to deciding!

[Peaceloveandbiscuits]

My hospital has a special class for new dads only - it's a drop-in so no need to book. Check out whether your hospital has something similar for your boyfriend?