Another shiny and new posifrickintivity thread for pregnancy after miscarriage

[PurplePest]

The new thread for mummy-to-be madness, mushiness and mayhem!

I drank a cup a day squiz but not sure how much your meant to drink

So sorry jnl, hope you have plenty of rl support and an understanding obs/gyne team on board to investigate when you are ready.
squiz, totally unsold on there being any benefit to raspberry leaf tea, but unless it is vile it won't do any harm.
Nothing exciting happening here, minor nesting (cleaned windows this morning, then went off on one about the state of the conservatory, but didn't actually do anything about it ). 30 weeks today. Starting to seem real now.

Just had yet another comment from a friend on Facebook about coping after birth. Apparently I'll struggle to cook/eat to the extent I won't be able to assemble cereal + milk for THREE MONTHS. It immediately got a 'like' from another person who always gives me similar dire warnings.

Being a FTM I'm not in a position to say "that's not everyone's experience" but it infuriates me... not least because neither of these women (from what they've told me) have the most hands on DH and may have had a difficult time. Poor women. But it's like they think that is 100% normal and all the other (10+ in number: most of my friends/family) mums I know say it sounds a lot rougher than they had it.

Also I feel like they think I'm some fecking idiot bimbo thinking having a baby will be like having a dolly.

...but being able to feed oneself 3 months post-partum, if you're really actually struggling to eat basic food surely that is actually something you'd need help with? Like physical help because the baby is colicky or something or else maybe help like with PND?
Not something normal which silly FTM should expect? I'm just horrified at the expectation of being able to eat nothing home-cooked for three months.

I said I would get DH to cook if I wasn't up to it (realistically he can, he did last year when I was ill). No answers. Oops may have touched a nerve but maybe they are thinking 'oh I wish my DH could do domestic stuff'.

Hey all, just marking my spot. Hope everyone's doing ok?

squizita just smile and try to ignore the negative comments! Not everyone struggles post delivery. With DS I had PND, but still managed to finish the last month of my degree, keep the flat clean and also cook a dinner every night.

Granted some days I stayed in my PJs all day but I bet all new mums to that at some point.

And if DH is supportive it helps even more x

Thanks MrsG ... tbh staying in my PJs was something I was planning on doing now I actually have a valid reason for once I was just wondering at not being able to feed myself. But then again it might be priorities, I am a greedy sausage and some people can take or leave food.
For me if I had the choice of eating properly or hoovering with my last ounce of energy it would be food every time... but everyone's idea of the 'absolute basics' is different.

squiz seriously they said that ok I am the worlds least organised person and I mean like ever but I never had a problem managing to eat and certainly didn't find myself struggling to even make milk and cereal in all honest I find it harder grabbing time to eat now than I did when DS was newborn some people just talk rubbish either that or they were doing something very wrong don't worry about but do start cooking too much of everything now so you can freeze it and have a nice meal on the inevitable days you won't want to cook or fuss making food after mini squiz comes

Marking my place. Just back from a week camping and feeling fine. 12 week scan on Tuesday. That's just like a regular, not a freak of nature who needs scanning fortnightly, everyday scan. Never thought I'd make it this far.

tanny yay, long may the optimism and posifrickintivity continue x

That seems a really weird thing yo say squiz I never went without food after DD was born. Early on she would occasionally settle in for a mammoth feed and I'd get peckish, but soon learnt to grab something just in case. I filled the freezer with meals and we ate more takeaway than normal. However I never struggled to pour milk on cereal- I might have tried to pour water from the kettle on first or put the milk away in the oven though...

Was wondering how you were yhe other day *tanny (

Is anyone using a pregnancy pillow finding it hard getting comfortable after some suggestions I never needed one with DS and it seems very early to be finding it hard to sleep due to being uncomfortable

Sorry iv been quiet, busy few days, but lovely to see some good scan news and new people on here!

So sorry to see your news tho jnl hope you have lots of RL support.

I'm in the throws of another big wobble...atleast I'm hoping a wobble regarding movement, was in work all day, came home very tired, eventually got in the bath n realised I can't remember feeling movement since going to work today, I honestly don't no if there's been any or not, but since the bath iv been concentrating loads n felt only the tiniest of movement... Am having a final go at waking him up with lucozade, food and a go on the birth ball n if he's not wriggling around in half an hour I'm gona phone the hospital... I feel like it's too late in the day to be going in for monitoring, but my midwife assured me they wud rather I went in late than not at all so I'm just gona hope she's right!

jnl0612 I am very sorry.

squizita newborn babies are a bit of a shock because they take up lots of time to do the simple things but you will be able to eat. Basically anyone that asked, I asked them to bring me food. So I ate very well. I think what effects how hard it is, is how many visitors you have and how much you try to go out. I went out way too much in the early days. Later on is fine but in the first few weeks I went to shopping centres, restaurants and parks. Totally unnecessary and I won't do that again.

Good luck Alb1 hope you feel something soon.

alb hope all is ok and sorted soon

Had a little poke an a decent kick in the last 10 mins, so with any luck he's starting to wake up... It's still reduced movement tho even tho iv felt somethin... Gah I jus dunno what to do for the best

Give it half an hour and check for movement over that time (look and feel) if not definitely call! I had a quiet patch earlier, had some coke and a lie down, movement built up over 15-20 min.
Some people say wait 2 hours but to me that would be too much of a worry so I count over 30min.

... also if you have a big hunch just call. Better all round. They can give you a check up any time of day! The machines and staff are there 24-7.

alb just call the midwives and go for monitering lovely

I've been up 3 times this pregnancy for reduced movement and in my experience they take the matter very seriously. Even if baby does a jolly good dance once on moniters. They would rather you just went!

Good luck x

If your worried alb call them and get checked out better than worrying yourself sick and not knowing it's why you have their number

GW yeah these 2 women seem to have had a different experience to everyone else I know with kids but are the most vocal about how they are right and warning me about the 'truth'. I have had several messages since from others saying it's not that bad ... the trouble is they would laugh and hoik up their judgey pants if I actually dared say "everyone else says you can eat..."
The not going out thing is a bit of a worry to be honest. Staying inside the house for more than a day or 2 at a time has always been a big, noticeable anxiety trigger for me (any going out, even a short walk to the supermarket counteracts this) and various HCP have recommended that I should have some safe/easy way to ensure I do leave the house after the initial couple of weeks. I guess just to go to the supermarket or even getting my mum to pick us up and pop to her house for coffee. I am quite concerned that if going out is an issue I might end up triggering anxiety what with the tiredness and everything else.

squiz I got out the house almost every day. Even if it was a walk round the block. I had a list of places to go. I am lucky to live near some lovely parks. I'd take a drinks bottle and snack and sit on a bench. Sometimes I walked to the supermarket and had a look at the clothes or what offers they had on. I walked in all weathers. I used to get stir crazy if I didn't

Thanks everyone, I phoned n they said to give it an hour n then go in, and iv only felt one small movement since then (45 mins ago) which makes 4 or 5 small movements since about 6pm so I'm going in now, he may be alive in there but that's deff a lot less movement than normal

squiz I was out and about the day after me and DS came home from hospital don't worry I'm sure people say stuff like that for effect when if they were honest it was no where near what they are making out if it was I sure as hell wouldn't have wanted another baby lol

alb hope they wake your little one up a bit so you get lots of movement :) DS used to hate being on the monitor and it felt like he was trying to kick it off hope all goes well for you

squiz just reading your comments, I don't know what your friends are on about not eating for three months?! After DD my life was fine, yeah harder and more complicated but totally wonderful and fun learning new things! I always amazed to eat, shop and between DH and I cook! How do they think single parents and people with triplets go on?! God knows how they manage to eat. I would be really infuriated by those posts, kind of scaring you for no reason. Having a baby is totally normal and for most people just part of life, I genuinely have no idea what they are taking about.

So I'm up late as at a wedding! Flipping shattered and now got to drive home. Got loads of pains in my tummy and back so very scared. I think it's because I've had such a long day and because I've danced a lot but hoping nothing more sinister. Really can't wait to go to bed and hope I wake up feeling ok tomorrow. I do remember having some strange pains like this with DD. They're really high up at my waist so I'm hoping it's nothing!